I guard my feelings with my life. Lol
1 bad decision has possibly costed me a happy future! (Page 2)
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Posted by ImTheRamI'll have to think long and hard about that. I get very protective about my kids and if I feel that I allowed him in my kids life and they end up hurt behind it, that will put me in a rage.
@ElleDuMondeI think so too...but @AriesLove is also right...
The kids situation kid changes the scenario a bit.
I guess he will have to see if she loves his kids as much as she will love him.
She won't need to tell a thing like you said..he just needs to see it.
You should take AriesLove advice on this one @LadyTate
Posted by ElleDuMondeI know eventually they will meet but I want to know that he is not going to appear and disappear. I have 2 daughters and I don't want them to think men should be able to come in and out of their lives or their future kids livesPosted by LadyTateDo not introduce the kids yet and do not add that to your list of expectations.Posted by ForeverlovemeIdk. My kids are older and since my last relationship, they've not seen me with another man.
Your post cut off from too many quotes
The man will respect you more if you keep that separate and allow him to do the same....and so will your kids.click to expand
Posted by ForeverlovemeI agree with him not liking to express his own. He clams up quick and will deflect, deflect and deflect!Posted by AriesLoveNo we love feelings, just don't like expressing our own lol. He won't think she's crazyPosted by ElleDuMondeHe's going to think she's crazy. Blabbing her feelings. He is a Cap, not a Cancer not a Pisces not a Scorpio.Posted by ImTheRamDo this.Posted by LadyTateWell how hard it is to say...Posted by ImTheRamMy sanity. Lol. If he sees something then he needs to tell me! It's hard for me to be out of control of my feelings. It drives me mad that I can't figure out what he has over me that has me this way.
I think she should just say it why she stopped...
If there is something there..it should be there by now...and he is also a Cap..so he must know what he is doing..
oh well..what do you have to loose anyway?..
"I want you to know that i decided to stop because i am confused...at first it all started as a fwb situation...but i think i might have deeper feellings for you"
You can even stroke is ego and say.."i never thought you wold make me feel this way..."
His possible answers:
a) i feel the same...lets give a try.
b) i am not sure about my feellings yet..let us try to be freinds first and see where this goes?
c) i am sorry..i don't feel the same..for me this was just sex..if its best for you we can stop seeing each other.
So...on 2 you win..on 1 you loose...good odds right?
Man are just like that...and in the end thats better than your current situation right?
Anything short of being honest and he will just know...and your integrity will be compromised. Once that happens, you are screwed (as a fwb....lol).
He probably already knows anyways...they usually suss people out fairly quickly. They compartmentalize people...similar to what we (scorpios) do...you won't be able to back up and explain if you are caught lying about feels.click to expand
Posted by ForeverlovemeWhy would he think that's obvious to me? I know the whole saying actions speak louder than words. Well I need them both. I need u to say what u mean and act accordingly. Actions are misread same as words.Posted by LadyTateOk if you've already laid it all out, he's expressing himself through his actions by calling & making time to spend with you.Posted by ForeverlovemeI've laid it all out and still he has not budged on letting me know how he feelsPosted by AriesLoveIt's not the time that's her issue, which since you bring it up is another indicator.Posted by ForeverlovemeThat isn't going to happen. No one is going to marry another person without first the interaction with their kids.
@AriesLove your message cut off
Nothing wrong with your opinion, I've seen both.
I'm just giving her my opinion. I don't like when people have different men/women in & out of their kids' life so it's my opinion people should wait until they have agreed to marry.
But I understand it's too early. You just have to wait until he makes time for you.
Him making time for you only happens if we care about the person seriously.
My best advice to you is ask him directly
A) what he wants at this point in his life
B) if he sees any long term relationship with you
Or just be upfront and tell him what you want laying all your cards on the table & let him go from there.
(I want a serious committed relationship at this point in my life & whatever else you want to throw in there)
My only concern is the conversation about the previous fwb so direct questions work best, but in his mind his actions speak for themselves and he thinks it should be obvious to youclick to expand
Posted by ImTheRamI'm going to try. I don't want to batter him with my feelings but I want to know so I can plan my next move. All this guessing game is for the birds and I'm too old to be playing red light green light. LolPosted by LadyTateWhathever you both do...do what is also best for them.Posted by ImTheRamI'll have to think long and hard about that. I get very protective about my kids and if I feel that I allowed him in my kids life and they end up hurt behind it, that will put me in a rage.
@ElleDuMondeI think so too...but @AriesLove is also right...
The kids situation kid changes the scenario a bit.
I guess he will have to see if she loves his kids as much as she will love him.
She won't need to tell a thing like you said..he just needs to see it.
You should take AriesLove advice on this one @LadyTate
And if you both want to just keep it just the way it is...well maybe that's just the best solution..
You had some good advices here..just try to figure out how to put that into your relation with him 😉click to expand
Posted by ForeverlovemePosted by AriesLoveNo we love feelings, just don't like expressing our own lol. He won't think she's crazyPosted by ElleDuMondeHe's going to think she's crazy. Blabbing her feelings. He is a Cap, not a Cancer not a Pisces not a Scorpio.Posted by ImTheRamDo this.Posted by LadyTateWell how hard it is to say...Posted by ImTheRamMy sanity. Lol. If he sees something then he needs to tell me! It's hard for me to be out of control of my feelings. It drives me mad that I can't figure out what he has over me that has me this way.
I think she should just say it why she stopped...
If there is something there..it should be there by now...and he is also a Cap..so he must know what he is doing..
oh well..what do you have to loose anyway?..
"I want you to know that i decided to stop because i am confused...at first it all started as a fwb situation...but i think i might have deeper feellings for you"
You can even stroke is ego and say.."i never thought you wold make me feel this way..."
His possible answers:
a) i feel the same...lets give a try.
b) i am not sure about my feellings yet..let us try to be freinds first and see where this goes?
c) i am sorry..i don't feel the same..for me this was just sex..if its best for you we can stop seeing each other.
So...on 2 you win..on 1 you loose...good odds right?
Man are just like that...and in the end thats better than your current situation right?
Anything short of being honest and he will just know...and your integrity will be compromised. Once that happens, you are screwed (as a fwb....lol).
He probably already knows anyways...they usually suss people out fairly quickly. They compartmentalize people...similar to what we (scorpios) do...you won't be able to back up and explain if you are caught lying about feels.click to expand
Yes!!!! I love hearing thoughts and especially emotions
Lady T, if you have that girly gut thing we all possess, go with it. If you don't say anything you'll regret it. If he is mature, he should respect that you are standing in your truth
Posted by AriesLoveI understand where ur coming from but like I've stated. My kids have never seen me with a man outside of a relationship. My oldest was 6 when I met my ex and we had already established where our relationship was going before I allowed him to meet her. U having male friends (strictly friends) is a norm for u. Not us. My kids attach very easily to ppl and if they meet him and like him, they will want to be around him more and ask about him more. im particular with anyone my kids met. Whether their female or male. I'm okay with him squeezing me in when he can for now. All I want is to know does he see a future with me. If he does then we can move forward with the kids and so onPosted by LadyTateHurt from what?! You are getting to deep with it. It maybe too soon but it's this man's life. Are you trying to be in his life because you sure are acting like you are in love.Posted by ImTheRamI'll have to think long and hard about that. I get very protective about my kids and if I feel that I allowed him in my kids life and they end up hurt behind it, that will put me in a rage.
@ElleDuMondeI think so too...but @AriesLove is also right...
The kids situation kid changes the scenario a bit.
I guess he will have to see if she loves his kids as much as she will love him.
She won't need to tell a thing like you said..he just needs to see it.
You should take AriesLove advice on this one @LadyTate
It's a outing, nothing more. Your "friend" I have male friends, strictly friends no sex, no kissing nothing. I go over there house with my child and nobody thinks nothing of it.
I'm only suggesting because you stated the majority of his free time is with them and he has no time for you.click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveWaiting will be the hardest thing for me. Not that I can't do it but because I am scared of wasting timePosted by LadyTateEveryone is not expressive like that. He is one of those men. Trust me. I've dated a few, they are slow, boring, laid back, workaholics who need some excitement every once in a while.Posted by ForeverlovemeWhy would he think that's obvious to me? I know the whole saying actions speak louder than words. Well I need them both. I need u to say what u mean and act accordingly. Actions are misread same as words.Posted by LadyTateOk if you've already laid it all out, he's expressing himself through his actions by calling & making time to spend with you.Posted by ForeverlovemeI've laid it all out and still he has not budged on letting me know how he feelsPosted by AriesLoveIt's not the time that's her issue, which since you bring it up is another indicator.Posted by ForeverlovemeThat isn't going to happen. No one is going to marry another person without first the interaction with their kids.
@AriesLove your message cut off
Nothing wrong with your opinion, I've seen both.
I'm just giving her my opinion. I don't like when people have different men/women in & out of their kids' life so it's my opinion people should wait until they have agreed to marry.
But I understand it's too early. You just have to wait until he makes time for you.
Him making time for you only happens if we care about the person seriously.
My best advice to you is ask him directly
A) what he wants at this point in his life
B) if he sees any long term relationship with you
Or just be upfront and tell him what you want laying all your cards on the table & let him go from there.
(I want a serious committed relationship at this point in my life & whatever else you want to throw in there)
My only concern is the conversation about the previous fwb so direct questions work best, but in his mind his actions speak for themselves and he thinks it should be obvious to you
His way will be through actions. You might here something later on down the road way down the road. But not now.click to expand
Posted by ScorpioluverMen are complicated. Lol.
Lady T, if you have that girly gut thing we all possess, go with it. If you don't say anything you'll regret it. If he is mature, he should respect that you are standing in your truth
Posted by ImTheRamI'll update as we move forwardPosted by ElleDuMondeShe needs to tell her how she feels...he will understand it.Posted by AriesLove He's going to think she's crazy. Blabbing her feelings. He is a Cap, not a Cancer not a Pisces not a Scorpio.Does she need to care what he thinks? This is how she feels. He can take or leave it.
What ram suggested was level headed and to the point...that is exactly what is needed.
Why start on a foundation of a lie or mistruth because he might think she crazy? That stars an entire avalanche of walking on eggshells and not being able to express yourself out of fear. It's then just the beginning to the end.
She doesn't need to ask him if he feels the same...if he says no..its a no..other than that she will have to move to the second situation..
They will need to see how it plains out with the kids situation to see if there is a long term future or not for both and their kids.
I guess you already passed step one tbh...just let things flow naturaly LadyTate.click to expand
Posted by cheekyfaerieI've been consistent in how I feel. I've never swayed from the fact that I have feelings for him. Yes we started off as FEB but naturally feelings got involved. That would be the only inconsistency.Posted by LadyTateYou were building toward the commitment, but got impatient and confused things. Now he doesn't know if you're coming or going. Caps thrive with consistency. I suggest you be honest with him and get back to that.Posted by cheekyfaerieThere was no commitment to each other.
"We weren't "friends." We met online and talked for a few weeks getting to know each other. After about a month of talking we finally had sex."
Sounds like you guys were dating until you freaked out and sabotaged it.click to expand
Posted by AriesLovePlease explain?Posted by cheekyfaerieYeah he probably thinks she's a bit off...he already stated he doesn't want her to go crazy like the last one. To even put them in the same sentence.....Posted by LadyTateYou were building toward the commitment, but got impatient and confused things. Now he doesn't know if you're coming or going. Caps thrive with consistency. I suggest you be honest with him and get back to that.Posted by cheekyfaerieThere was no commitment to each other.
"We weren't "friends." We met online and talked for a few weeks getting to know each other. After about a month of talking we finally had sex."
Sounds like you guys were dating until you freaked out and sabotaged it.click to expand
Posted by ElleDuMondeThat's okay, I'm trying to reply and keep up also.
I hate this phone. I am spending more time on editing typos then posting.
Posted by AriesLoveYes...?Posted by LadyTateYou stated he didn't want you to go crazy like the last one.Posted by AriesLovePlease explain?Posted by cheekyfaerieYeah he probably thinks she's a bit off...he already stated he doesn't want her to go crazy like the last one. To even put them in the same sentence.....Posted by LadyTateYou were building toward the commitment, but got impatient and confused things. Now he doesn't know if you're coming or going. Caps thrive with consistency. I suggest you be honest with him and get back to that.Posted by cheekyfaerieThere was no commitment to each other.
"We weren't "friends." We met online and talked for a few weeks getting to know each other. After about a month of talking we finally had sex."
Sounds like you guys were dating until you freaked out and sabotaged it.click to expand
Posted by ImTheRamThank u for ur input! It has shed some light on things.Posted by ElleDuMondeWhen it comes to kids situations and relationshis..to tell you the truth...Posted by ImTheRamNot always with caps...they are hyper protective of their kids....as much as scorpios.
@ElleDuMondeI think so too...but @AriesLove is also right...
The kids situation kinda changes the scenario a bit.
I guess he will have to see if she loves his kids as much as she will love him.
She won't need to tell a thing like you said..he just needs to see it.
You should take AriesLove advice on this one @LadyTate
My ex now current flame has been divorced for seven + years and has made it very clear he will not bring a woman to them because it confuses them....probably not until they are off to college and the youngest is 10...lol
As a scorp mom...we started dating when my boys were late teenagers but not 18 and they just thought he was my best friend. They never seen me date anyone after the divorce.
We always knew about each others kids (I was around when they were born...just not romantic) and even did things for the other.
Hell...my youngest son only just knew we have been dating at all for the past few weeks...he's 24...and my oldest is still scratching his head because they talked to each other over the weekend after two years...and he is 26.
My sons don't need to know these things and they probably would rather not.
Kids should be navigated to focus on themselves and their future....not worrying about their divorced parents love life.
I am totaly clueless...
I think i can give my advice here and there...but thats it.
Its good for her to see both yours and Aries side and advices about this situation...but in the end..it will be them the ones that need to figure this out.
Thats the best i can say 🙂click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveI took it as him saying that he didn't want me to become jealous and vindictive. I'm not to good at reading between the lines. That's why I like to be straight to the point.
@LadyTate
So why would he make that statement?!
Posted by ElleDuMondeI would never come between no one and their kids. I wouldn't want anyone to try to come between me or mine. Like I said before. Spending time is not the issue. I understand his work ethic and his love for his kids and family. I appreciate that. All I'm looking for is more communication.
You use a cap man's kids as a means to steal his time away.....you are done. Just sayin.
Don't do that.
Posted by ForeverlovemeSee I need to be told. I don't like to assume. If we're going left. Tell me we're going left. Lol. I never want to assume because I don't want to assume how someone else feels and act on that assumption and be wrong.
@LadyTate Why would he think that's obvious to me? I know the whole saying actions speak louder than words. Well I need them both. I need u to say what u mean and act accordingly. Actions are misread same as words.
I'm not sure how to explain it. I told my scorp guy I love him after about 8 months of talking (we're long distance)
His response was "do you" & in my mind I just thought it was obvious. I mean I went to visit him twice, which the 2nd time was unannounced to him ahead of time (I was in his city & asked him to come see me. He asked why I was there & I told him I was stepping out on a limb in hopes of seeing him because I missed him) so in my mind I'm not driving 4-5 hours each way to see just anyone unless I care about you (action). He didn't come see me during the surprise visit, which I could understand I just politely asked him not to tell me he'll do something then not follow through. We continued to talk, which again normal circumstances if a guy isn't a man of his word I end it, so me being understanding/forgiving/compromising (actions).
Idk I just thought he knew.
Posted by ElleDuMondeLol. Okay.Posted by LadyTateYes, I know that.Posted by ElleDuMondeI would never come between no one and their kids. I wouldn't want anyone to try to come between me or mine. Like I said before. Spending time is not the issue. I understand his work ethic and his love for his kids and family. I appreciate that. All I'm looking for is more communication.
You use a cap man's kids as a means to steal his time away.....you are done. Just sayin.
Don't do that.
I was addressing the aries.
I apologise. Her entire theory on the kid thing is annoying me.click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveI understand that ur trying to help me spend more time with him but time isn't the problem. I just need him to open up and tell me how he feels about me and where he sees our future.Posted by ElleDuMondeNo I said do something with all of them. Her kids, his kids and both of them because he spends all his free time with his kids. He has no time for her. He is obviously a family man.Posted by AriesLoveYou are an idiot.Posted by ElleDuMondeBecause it is crazy. She fell in love with the "D". She's acting out of control and that is why she is here. She's not thinking straight and needs help on how to calm the hell down. Doesn't matter if that's how she feels. Everybody ain't gotta know. Keep your mouth shut sometime let somebody else do the talking.Posted by AriesLove He's going to think she's crazy. Blabbing her feelings. He is a Cap, not a Cancer not a Pisces not a Scorpio.Does she need to care what he thinks? This is how she feels. He can take or leave it.
What ram suggested was level headed and to the point...that is exactly what is needed.
Why start on a foundation of a lie or mistruth because he might think she crazy? That stars an entire avalanche of walking on eggshells and not being able to express yourself out of fear. It's then just the beginning to the end.
On one side of your mouth you say she fell in love with the dick....and the other side you are telling her to introduce the kids....simply as a manipulative tactic to get more time with him.
It's not manipulation it's making a situation work. It's finding a way to spend time without taking time away from something that is obviously very important to him.click to expand
Posted by littlegigabyteThe subject line was just a dramatization for the post. I'm not into drama at all. Which is why I was open and honest with him from the time I realized I had feelings for him and even now.
I've been there, done that with a cap. This all sounds familiar to me, minus the kid part. I told him my feelings and got emotional at times throughout that more than a year long ordeal, and he "seemed" to reciprocate. He wanted to hang out more, he invited me over to just hang out (no sex), we would go out to restaurants, he would pay and it felt like a date, etc. But what it boiled down to, he was 100% completely emotionally unavailable in that compartment of his life.
I think if they are really into you, THEY will make the move, because they are such go-getters and very masculine and can be very aggressive imo (mine was when we first started seeing each other, but now I believe it was to get the ball rolling on the sex thing).
I was not as into the theatrics and drama of it that you seem to be (come on... You think you're incapable of a happy future? That's not true.....), and it probably WILL scare him if you bring up all these feelings. Capricorns do not like that shit - well I will correct myself. With FWB they do NOT like that shit, with the person they love, sure. I think it takes a very specific woman to understand these men. However, because of the obvious depth of your feeling, I do think that you're going to have to bite the bullet and tell him.... But I would not hold my breath. I believe that Caps are not really then type of men who end up with their FWB. They are experts at compartmentalization.
I had my heart sort of broke by that man, but with no one to blame but myself. FWB can be rough, man.
Good luck though!
Posted by AriesLoveWhat he sees in the future for us. If anything. Just let me know how u feel and we can work from there. If no future say that. If ur unsure, say it.Posted by LadyTateI doubt that will happen at this time. What does he have to express?Posted by AriesLoveI understand that ur trying to help me spend more time with him but time isn't the problem. I just need him to open up and tell me how he feels about me and where he sees our future.Posted by ElleDuMondeNo I said do something with all of them. Her kids, his kids and both of them because he spends all his free time with his kids. He has no time for her. He is obviously a family man.Posted by AriesLoveYou are an idiot.Posted by ElleDuMondeBecause it is crazy. She fell in love with the "D". She's acting out of control and that is why she is here. She's not thinking straight and needs help on how to calm the hell down. Doesn't matter if that's how she feels. Everybody ain't gotta know. Keep your mouth shut sometime let somebody else do the talking.Posted by AriesLove He's going to think she's crazy. Blabbing her feelings. He is a Cap, not a Cancer not a Pisces not a Scorpio.Does she need to care what he thinks? This is how she feels. He can take or leave it.
What ram suggested was level headed and to the point...that is exactly what is needed.
Why start on a foundation of a lie or mistruth because he might think she crazy? That stars an entire avalanche of walking on eggshells and not being able to express yourself out of fear. It's then just the beginning to the end.
On one side of your mouth you say she fell in love with the dick....and the other side you are telling her to introduce the kids....simply as a manipulative tactic to get more time with him.
It's not manipulation it's making a situation work. It's finding a way to spend time without taking time away from something that is obviously very important to him.click to expand
Posted by ElleDuMondeTalking to him almost a year. He's never been married. I was the only one ever married but divorced after 5yrs then I was in an almost 10yr relationship before meeting him.
How long have you been doing this?
How long was he married?
How long has he been divorced?
Posted by AriesLovePosted by LadyTatePosted by AriesLoveWhat he sees in the future for us. If anything. Just let me know how u feel and we can work from there. If no future say that. If ur unsure, say it.Posted by LadyTateI doubt that will happen at this time. What does he have to express?Posted by AriesLoveI understand that ur trying to help me spend more time with him but time isn't the problem. I just need him to open up and tell me how he feels about me and where he sees our future.Posted by ElleDuMondeNo I said do something with all of them. Her kids, his kids and both of them because he spends all his free time with his kids. He has no time for her. He is obviously a family man.Posted by AriesLoveYou are an idiot.Posted by ElleDuMondeBecause it is crazy. She fell in love with the "D". She's acting out of control and that is why she is here. She's not thinking straight and needs help on how to calm the hell down. Doesn't matter if that's how she feels. Everybody ain't gotta know. Keep your mouth shut sometime let somebody else do the talking.Posted by AriesLove He's going to think she's crazy. Blabbing her feelings. He is a Cap, not a Cancer not a Pisces not a Scorpio.Does she need to care what he thinks? This is how she feels. He can take or leave it.
What ram suggested was level headed and to the point...that is exactly what is needed.
Why start on a foundation of a lie or mistruth because he might think she crazy? That stars an entire avalanche of walking on eggshells and not being able to express yourself out of fear. It's then just the beginning to the end.
On one side of your mouth you say she fell in love with the dick....and the other side you are telling her to introduce the kids....simply as a manipulative tactic to get more time with him.
It's not manipulation it's making a situation work. It's finding a way to spend time without taking time away from something that is obviously very important to him.click to expand
Ur message cu
Posted by ForeverlovemeI do and he deflects and changes the subject. Ill ask, what do u see in the future for us? Do u see us being in a relationship. He'll say something like... I see a bright future ahead. But hey did u see that last episode of friends?!Posted by LadyTateThat's why I said ask direct questionsPosted by ForeverlovemeSee I need to be told. I don't like to assume. If we're going left. Tell me we're going left. Lol. I never want to assume because I don't want to assume how someone else feels and act on that assumption and be wrong.
@LadyTate Why would he think that's obvious to me? I know the whole saying actions speak louder than words. Well I need them both. I need u to say what u mean and act accordingly. Actions are misread same as words.
I'm not sure how to explain it. I told my scorp guy I love him after about 8 months of talking (we're long distance)
His response was "do you" & in my mind I just thought it was obvious. I mean I went to visit him twice, which the 2nd time was unannounced to him ahead of time (I was in his city & asked him to come see me. He asked why I was there & I told him I was stepping out on a limb in hopes of seeing him because I missed him) so in my mind I'm not driving 4-5 hours each way to see just anyone unless I care about you (action). He didn't come see me during the surprise visit, which I could understand I just politely asked him not to tell me he'll do something then not follow through. We continued to talk, which again normal circumstances if a guy isn't a man of his word I end it, so me being understanding/forgiving/compromising (actions).
Idk I just thought he knew.click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveI know sex won't be a deciding factor but for me to be able to think clearly that was somethings I needed to stop for myself. And I really don't know what more he needs to know about me. I'm an open book. He knows I'm dedicated to my kids and family. That I'm a hard worker. I'm very passionate and I love hard. He's seen me angry, he's seen me hurt, he's seen me happy.
@LadyTate
He doesn't know all sides of you like that yet. You stated everything is too soon. Sex will not be a deciding factor for a future with most men. He will want to know other sides of you, just like you should want to know with him.
Capricorns move extremely slow in love. You will have to be his friend first. All the ones I know we're with their mates for years.
Posted by AriesLoveHe knows a lot about me. We may have started off as FWB but thru that time, we've had deep conversations and were able to learn more about each other.Posted by LadyTateA year. I'm sorry but you are going to have to show another side. If he's been equating you to sex for a year. What else does he know about you?Posted by ElleDuMondeTalking to him almost a year. He's never been married. I was the only one ever married but divorced after 5yrs then I was in an almost 10yr relationship before meeting him.
How long have you been doing this?
How long was he married?
How long has he been divorced?click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveI'll try to wait as long as I can but waddling in place is hard for me. I like to think that he thinks of more than just sex with me. I mean, he asks my opinion on things and vents to me when he's upset or happy.Posted by LadyTateSo let him open up when he's ready and like I said give him a reason to think of you other than just sex.Posted by AriesLoveI know sex won't be a deciding factor but for me to be able to think clearly that was somethings I needed to stop for myself. And I really don't know what more he needs to know about me. I'm an open book. He knows I'm dedicated to my kids and family. That I'm a hard worker. I'm very passionate and I love hard. He's seen me angry, he's seen me hurt, he's seen me happy.
@LadyTate
He doesn't know all sides of you like that yet. You stated everything is too soon. Sex will not be a deciding factor for a future with most men. He will want to know other sides of you, just like you should want to know with him.
Capricorns move extremely slow in love. You will have to be his friend first. All the ones I know we're with their mates for years.click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveIf I wast my time on him he will have ruined it for all caps! Lol. But seriously. I do love him and I'm willing to try to wait this out and see what happens. I just need to get over my fear of wasting my time.Posted by LadyTateSo why do you need to know how he feels. Men aren't like women, just go by his actions. I'm telling you Caps do not express their feelings as long as they want to be around you and make time for you. It's good. But like I said they take their time. They need a wholesome woman who got her stuff together.Posted by AriesLoveHe knows a lot about me. We may have started off as FWB but thru that time, we've had deep conversations and were able to learn more about each other.Posted by LadyTateA year. I'm sorry but you are going to have to show another side. If he's been equating you to sex for a year. What else does he know about you?Posted by ElleDuMondeTalking to him almost a year. He's never been married. I was the only one ever married but divorced after 5yrs then I was in an almost 10yr relationship before meeting him.
How long have you been doing this?
How long was he married?
How long has he been divorced?click to expand
Posted by ElleDuMondeI'll try not to but the Scorpio in me is ready to lead the way and get us to where I think we need to be. Lol. Yes I said where I think we need to be.Posted by LadyTateIt's a journey, for sure. Just shy of year....you have made it past most...lol. I have seen some cut off everything at the six month mark cold and never look back because they just know.Posted by ElleDuMondeTalking to him almost a year. He's never been married. I was the only one ever married but divorced after 5yrs then I was in an almost 10yr relationship before meeting him.
How long have you been doing this?
How long was he married?
How long has he been divorced?
He probably isn't going to lay it all out for you until he knows for sure and has a solid plan. When they do finally speak about it...hang on tight because they aren't playing. Lol
So, you either wait or or you decide it's not for you.
He will set the terms and you need to be comfortable with that.
I always found with all the relationships I had with caps....I always reached certain benchmarks and destinations before they did....and I learned to just enjoy it for those moments....don't try to drag him there.click to expand
Oh and I want to throw this out there. The other day we were talking and sex was brought up and yes (in my weak flesh moment) told him I wanted to have sex one last time. First he was all for it then he said we could hold off on having sex. I didn't push the issue, I replied with a "that's fine with me!" Even tho it wasn't!
Posted by ElleDuMondeIdol my charts. I can give u my bday. 11/17/1983
I hate that fear.
Share your charts! (Please)
Posted by AriesLoveThank u.
You guys are a good match though. Just keep it fun and not too emotional.
Posted by ElleDuMondeThat is hard. Specially when u feel ur going in blind and with him being so mute and hard to read. I feel totally blinded.Posted by LadyTateYeah....lol...speaking from experience...you can't do that. This is a lesson for us to let go of that control.Posted by ElleDuMondeI'll try not to but the Scorpio in me is ready to lead the way and get us to where I think we need to be. Lol. Yes I said where I think we need to be.Posted by LadyTateIt's a journey, for sure. Just shy of year....you have made it past most...lol. I have seen some cut off everything at the six month mark cold and never look back because they just know.Posted by ElleDuMondeTalking to him almost a year. He's never been married. I was the only one ever married but divorced after 5yrs then I was in an almost 10yr relationship before meeting him.
How long have you been doing this?
How long was he married?
How long has he been divorced?
He probably isn't going to lay it all out for you until he knows for sure and has a solid plan. When they do finally speak about it...hang on tight because they aren't playing. Lol
So, you either wait or or you decide it's not for you.
He will set the terms and you need to be comfortable with that.
I always found with all the relationships I had with caps....I always reached certain benchmarks and destinations before they did....and I learned to just enjoy it for those moments....don't try to drag him there.
We must be careful of what we ask for. We want this man...he is like the essence of masculinity....but there is compromise....we have to hand over our sword...lolclick to expand
Posted by LadyTateDid y'all l miss this post on page 3? he told her he wasn't interested in anything more.Posted by mzmeeHis response was "are u sure? If that's what u want we can just be friends." Like wtf is that? What the hell does that mean. We also talked about another "friendship" he had with a woman as FWB that lasted a few years and how she became jealous and crazy. That story there kind of confirmed for me that he wasn't interested in a relationship but then he ended that same conversation with I don't want that to happen with u.Posted by LadyTateAwwww sweets.Posted by mzmeeI was. I told him how I felt and why I had to pull back. And yes... I think about him daily!Posted by LadyTateI mean, if it's just a fwb thing, you might have to temporarily remove yourself from the situation. Be grown about it tho, at least give him the heads up.Posted by mzmeeCouple that with a genuine connection! Oh my! There is something about this man that has me wide open. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the talks about the future. Lawd, lawd, lawd!
Good sex will mess with your feelings, man.
Get you a b.o.b. too in the meantime. I can imagine the withdrawals from him will be crazy.
What did he say in response? Like did he respond? My oldest brother is a Cap, he's as hard a nails. I know a little about cap men. Jeezclick to expand
Sorry sweets, not trying to burst your cloud, but he told you he didn't want more than what you had, fwb. Since you have emotions invested, it is best to not continue IMO you will just do more damage to yourself in the long run.
Posted by ElleDuMondeThat's scary. But I'm willing to give it a try.
They want you to trust them and have faith just as much as we do. Eek!
They call us out on our hypocritical and double standard bullshit for sure 😛
Posted by justagirlPlease explain?Posted by LadyTateDid y'all l miss this post on page 3? he told her he wasn't interested in anything more.Posted by mzmeeHis response was "are u sure? If that's what u want we can just be friends." Like wtf is that? What the hell does that mean. We also talked about another "friendship" he had with a woman as FWB that lasted a few years and how she became jealous and crazy. That story there kind of confirmed for me that he wasn't interested in a relationship but then he ended that same conversation with I don't want that to happen with u.Posted by LadyTateAwwww sweets.Posted by mzmeeI was. I told him how I felt and why I had to pull back. And yes... I think about him daily!Posted by LadyTateI mean, if it's just a fwb thing, you might have to temporarily remove yourself from the situation. Be grown about it tho, at least give him the heads up.Posted by mzmeeCouple that with a genuine connection! Oh my! There is something about this man that has me wide open. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the talks about the future. Lawd, lawd, lawd!
Good sex will mess with your feelings, man.
Get you a b.o.b. too in the meantime. I can imagine the withdrawals from him will be crazy.
What did he say in response? Like did he respond? My oldest brother is a Cap, he's as hard a nails. I know a little about cap men. Jeez
Sorry sweets, not trying to burst your cloud, but he told you he didn't want more than what you had, fwb. Since you have emotions invested, it is best to not continue IMO you will just do more damage to yourself in the long run.click to expand
Posted by LadyTate
Oh and I want to throw this out there. The other day we were talking and sex was brought up and yes (in my weak flesh moment) told him I wanted to have sex one last time. First he was all for it then he said we could hold off on having sex. I didn't push the issue, I replied with a "that's fine with me!" Even tho it wasn't!
Posted by ElleDuMondeWhat does all that mean?
Is someone screwing with me?
She is
Scorp sun
Aries moon
Sag merc
Libra venus
...but mars in virgo
12/24/1977
Posted by ElleDuMondeOh ok. Lol.Posted by LadyTateIt means the first four of your personal planets are the same as mine.Posted by ElleDuMondeWhat does all that mean?
Is someone screwing with me?
She is
Scorp sun
Aries moon
Sag merc
Libra venus
...but mars in virgoclick to expand
Posted by ElleDuMondeWe def are, lol
Lol
Ffs, people are cloning us....you are the third one on this site.
We must be awesome.
Posted by ElleDuMondeLolPosted by LadyTateIf he has a pisces moon or aqua venus...I am going to have a mild stroke......brb
12/24/1977click to expand
Posted by LadyTateyou told him how you felt, his response was what you wrote, or no? Cause if that is what he said.. and add in the other FWB that he carried on for a few years and she went crazy and that's not what he wants to happen with you.. to me just seems like he isnt interested in anything other than a fwb with no strings. But maybe i misunderstood what you wrote on the part i bolded.Posted by justagirlPlease explain?Posted by LadyTateDid y'all l miss this post on page 3? he told her he wasn't interested in anything more.Posted by mzmeeHis response was "are u sure? If that's what u want we can just be friends." Like wtf is that? What the hell does that mean. We also talked about another "friendship" he had with a woman as FWB that lasted a few years and how she became jealous and crazy. That story there kind of confirmed for me that he wasn't interested in a relationship but then he ended that same conversation with I don't want that to happen with u.Posted by LadyTateAwwww sweets.Posted by mzmeeI was. I told him how I felt and why I had to pull back. And yes... I think about him daily!Posted by LadyTateI mean, if it's just a fwb thing, you might have to temporarily remove yourself from the situation. Be grown about it tho, at least give him the heads up.Posted by mzmeeCouple that with a genuine connection! Oh my! There is something about this man that has me wide open. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the talks about the future. Lawd, lawd, lawd!
Good sex will mess with your feelings, man.
Get you a b.o.b. too in the meantime. I can imagine the withdrawals from him will be crazy.
What did he say in response? Like did he respond? My oldest brother is a Cap, he's as hard a nails. I know a little about cap men. Jeez
Sorry sweets, not trying to burst your cloud, but he told you he didn't want more than what you had, fwb. Since you have emotions invested, it is best to not continue IMO you will just do more damage to yourself in the long run.click to expand
But Elle really is the best to help you.. she's a scorp dating a cappie man 😄
Posted by justagirlPosted by LadyTateyou told him how you felt, his response was what you wrote, or no? Cause if that is what he said.. and add in the other FWB that he carried on for a few years and she went crazy and that's not what he wants to happen with you.. to me just seems like he isnt interested in anything other than a fwb with no strings. But maybe i misunderstood what you wrote on the part i bolded.Posted by justagirlPlease explain?Posted by LadyTateDid y'all l miss this post on page 3? he told her he wasn't interested in anything more.Posted by mzmeeHis response was "are u sure? If that's what u want we can just be friends." Like wtf is that? What the hell does that mean. We also talked about another "friendship" he had with a woman as FWB that lasted a few years and how she became jealous and crazy. That story there kind of confirmed for me that he wasn't interested in a relationship but then he ended that same conversation with I don't want that to happen with u.Posted by LadyTateAwwww sweets.Posted by mzmeeI was. I told him how I felt and why I had to pull back. And yes... I think about him daily!Posted by LadyTateI mean, if it's just a fwb thing, you might have to temporarily remove yourself from the situation. Be grown about it tho, at least give him the heads up.Posted by mzmeeCouple that with a genuine connection! Oh my! There is something about this man that has me wide open. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the talks about the future. Lawd, lawd, lawd!
Good sex will mess with your feelings, man.
Get you a b.o.b. too in the meantime. I can imagine the withdrawals from him will be crazy.
What did he say in response? Like did he respond? My oldest brother is a Cap, he's as hard a nails. I know a little about cap men. Jeez
Sorry sweets, not trying to burst your cloud, but he told you he didn't want more than what you had, fwb. Since you have emotions invested, it is best to not continue IMO you will just do more damage to yourself in the long run.click to expand
@justagirl
My response was cut off. That was his exact response. I guess when he added the "I don't want that to happen to u" I took that as his way of saying he wanted more from me. But again. Like I stated earlier. I like straight forward answers. I don't like to play the guessing game.
My response was cut off. That was his exact response. I guess when he added the "I don't want that to happen to u" I took that as his way of saying he wanted more from me. But again. Like I stated earlier. I like straight forward answers. I don't like to play the guessing game.
Posted by ElleDuMondeLol... Sounds good to hear. And I totally get the Mars thingy. I like to serve and he likes to be served. Absolutely true. I have to catch myself at times. I want to cater to him as if we are in a relationship.
Whew...no need to call 911 😛
Btw, I totally get your dramatic title now...that's funny...lol
He is
Cap sun
Gem moon
Sag merc
Sag venus
Leo mars
You both have the sag merc...so you can talk forever and finish sentences. But you both have issue expressing yourself clearly.
He has the moon opposite venus going on just like you do....in a few days you will not feel this passionately about this....and then a few days later...you will again.
He will do the same...you just have to sync that up so you are on the same page.
Your mars and his is delightful....yours is one of service and his is one to be served....lol
Overall....good stuff for a quick snapshot.
You need to relax....find something to keep you distracted and busy....and just go with the flow....jump off the ride when you see fit...he will understand...don't jump off....and see if it goes somewhere. There are no guarantees with either of you....you can be both as jittery...scaring the crap out of each other when one says commitment! The other will giggle and run...and you will take turns doing so until it just doesn't matter anymore...and you are like a permanent cherry blossom in the front yard.
Relax! Relax! One more time....Relax. 🙂
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