sweethearts
@sweethearts
19 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 163 Ā· Posts: 6615 Ā· Topics: 326
Advice to self (Page 2)
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Posted by pisceanloves
Sounds sketchy. Being so close and haven't even facetimed yet?? umm NO. How come he doesn't want to see you in real time. I'd say he's a catfish. And never arrange meeting with someone you only know thru texts
My gut says no, but I will find out. And btw, Iām the one reluctant to FaceTiming, I donāt like pictures of myself or seeing my face in the camera even talking to my bffās and children. I feel self conscious so Iāve never suggested it either and probably would have come up with an excuse if he asked.. but he hasnāt thankfully.
I have a rule that really helps me..
I ask myself if our "special bond" could be happening while he is just on the toilet? If so maybe I don't invest so much emotionally and for sure not get too attached.
I also ask guys for a day and time to meet if I start to think I could like him. If he gives a paragraph of excuses, I say something polite like: "Well let me know when you can set up a day and time." and then I leave them to lead on someone else. None of them have come back ready to meet so I stop myself from being strung along by guys on the crapper lol.
I ask myself if our "special bond" could be happening while he is just on the toilet? If so maybe I don't invest so much emotionally and for sure not get too attached.
I also ask guys for a day and time to meet if I start to think I could like him. If he gives a paragraph of excuses, I say something polite like: "Well let me know when you can set up a day and time." and then I leave them to lead on someone else. None of them have come back ready to meet so I stop myself from being strung along by guys on the crapper lol.
Posted by Electricboogaloo
I have a rule that really helps me..
I ask myself if our "special bond" could be happening while he is just on the toilet? If so maybe I don't invest so much emotionally and for sure not get too attached.
I also ask guys for a day and time to meet if I start to think I could like him. If he gives a paragraph of excuses, I say something polite like: "Well let me know when you can set up a day and time." and then I leave them to lead on someone else. None of them have come back ready to meet so I stop myself from being strung along by guys on the crapper lol.
This was my virgin pandemic online dating guy... now we are almost back to normal Iām back out there meeting shitty deadbeats in real time!
He still looks way more appealing but I donāt feel so strung up anymore. This thread and you guys have helped heaps. š
Posted by Caplove
Have you had a phone convo with him? If he can't even do that, it's a good way to weed him out fast.
Yes weāve talked a few times. Last week I was walking home from the city after a night out and heād just finished work. I rang him and he walked me home to keep me safe. Heaps of other drunks and randoms around my area, I live right in the city.
Posted by pisceanloves
Sounds sketchy. Being so close and haven't even facetimed yet?? umm NO. How come he doesn't want to see you in real time. I'd say he's a catfish. And never arrange meeting with someone you only know thru texts
And the reason I donāt believe heās catfishing is because his pictures can be on the spot, for instant one was him pulling faces saying about to smash these pointing to a pack of chips or the other night he sends a picture of himself laying on the couch looking unmotivated 20 minutes before he had to start work, asking, do I look motivated to go to work? It was 10:40pm. I know you can get random pics like that but I also just know, you know. Iāve done my little tests. The catfish series was one of my favs and Iām suspicious by nature!
Posted by sweetheartsPosted by GemCurioThe1Posted by sweethearts
For months now Iāve been talking to this guy and feel like we could be a solid couple. We share so many things in common and can laugh and joke around easily. Problem is he runs hot and cold often, just when things are so easy and we are finding more and more to talk about and decide itās time to meet, he goes ice cold and finds an excuse to not. This has happened 3 times now, heās says heās a confident person and heās shared many pictures of himself and his kids.
I donāt get it, I feel like Iām on a roller coaster of emotions. Iām not sure what or why heās holding back. Iāve done some stalking and he is single and doesnāt appear to have anyone in his life. A couple times when Iām on the truth juice (drunk) Iāve confidently said way too much about my intentions and/or referred to our connection as a lifetime partnership. Itās what Iād want from this. For instance, Iāve asked him do I scare him? He says he only dates confident woman. To that I said, youāre only dating one more. He lolāed.
He seems fine and eagerly chats as normal for a couple days And reaches out to me first... and then goes cold, leaving me bewildered!
What should I do with that? Iām tired of being a pen-friend, I want to meet to see once and for all if there is a real connection and only a meeting will determine that, I have been so patient and waited for him to suggest we meet and then he does and gets excited about it, it excites me....but then I wait and wait for when/where and he doesnāt follow through with any plans. This last time, he was run down and not feeling well... š
Well... As you can see he's hiding something which makes him hesitate. He probably posts pictures of himself when he was younger and more fit or has financial issues which makes meeting you burdensome. Listen to your intuition and pull back. Men are supposed to chase by nature. š So he will notice that you have changed. Either way be confrontational and firm on your approach and desired outcome. Closed mouths don't get fed and the truth which causes his hesitation will come to the forefront. Another warning sign you may not have noticed is if he hasn't openly discussed his past relationships there's a reason. Without being judgemental anyone who fails to speak about their past isn't really ready to head towards the future. I hope this helps.
Thanks for the advice. Yes, Heās said little about her but Iāve not asked. All I care about with a guys ex, is if they are on amicable terms. Not interested in baggage and fighting exes or negativity which can cause issues with new relationships. But that sort of convo doesnāt generally happen until after youāve actually met and contemplating a relationship.
Some of the pictures arenāt flattering, 1 he sent saying he was not feeling well. I think that was sent to see if it made a difference because I do feel he is insecure about his looks.. I also wonder if maybe his ex cheated... just a gut feeling, nothing solid. I am quite intuitive or in tune with it.click to expand
Well in order for any relationship to be successful and grounded, both individuals have to be healed from their past. If not discussed it's like being in a train boxcar. Not realizing that 3 boxcars behind you the whole train is on fire.
I don't think he is catfishing, just doing what a lot of guys online do..
Is he REALLY more appealing? Or can he present himself however the hell he wants because he never plans on meeting? I have ridden this stuff out before, many times.. that's how The Rule of Toilet got formed in the first place.
I will tell you how it went for me:
Beginning of interest forms so I ask to meet.
-Excuses to delay meeting
-My confusion
-Being strung on while "waiting"
-Ask to meet again
-Get rejected again
-Realize I have been being rejected
-Get a bit irritated
-Call him out for wasting my time and emotions and walk
Leave for a while until he sucks me in again days/weeks later to ride the loop again.
It is not catfishing because this cycle can start after 2 or 3 dates.
It's just a guy trying to get something for nothing, because his level of interest is limited to stealing ego boosts from discarded suckers on his cellphone and fantasies.
But I started to understand that as annoying as it is, I also play a part. So I now ask them to just get back to me when they can meet. They still come back sometimes but only to try to suck me back in, so I am unlikely to respond to anything but: "How does your week look? I was thinking we could... ". Like a normal person not leading people on from the John ha.
Is he REALLY more appealing? Or can he present himself however the hell he wants because he never plans on meeting? I have ridden this stuff out before, many times.. that's how The Rule of Toilet got formed in the first place.
I will tell you how it went for me:
Beginning of interest forms so I ask to meet.
-Excuses to delay meeting
-My confusion
-Being strung on while "waiting"
-Ask to meet again
-Get rejected again
-Realize I have been being rejected
-Get a bit irritated
-Call him out for wasting my time and emotions and walk
Leave for a while until he sucks me in again days/weeks later to ride the loop again.
It is not catfishing because this cycle can start after 2 or 3 dates.
It's just a guy trying to get something for nothing, because his level of interest is limited to stealing ego boosts from discarded suckers on his cellphone and fantasies.
But I started to understand that as annoying as it is, I also play a part. So I now ask them to just get back to me when they can meet. They still come back sometimes but only to try to suck me back in, so I am unlikely to respond to anything but: "How does your week look? I was thinking we could... ". Like a normal person not leading people on from the John ha.
Posted by Electricboogaloo
I don't think he is catfishing, just doing what a lot of guys online do..
Is he REALLY more appealing? Or can he present himself however the hell he wants because he never plans on meeting? I have ridden this stuff out before, many times.. that's how The Rule of Toilet got formed in the first place.
I will tell you how it went for me:
Beginning of interest forms so I ask to meet.
-Excuses to delay meeting
-My confusion
-Being strung on while "waiting"
-Ask to meet again
-Get rejected again
-Realize I have been being rejected
-Get a bit irritated
-Call him out for wasting my time and emotions and walk
Leave for a while until he sucks me in again days/weeks later to ride the loop again.
It is not catfishing because this cycle can start after 2 or 3 dates.
It's just a guy trying to get something for nothing, because his level of interest is limited to stealing ego boosts from discarded suckers on his cellphone and fantasies.
But I started to understand that as annoying as it is, I also play a part. So I now ask them to just get back to me when they can meet. They still come back sometimes but only to try to suck me back in, so I am unlikely to respond to anything but: "How does your week look? I was thinking we could... ". Like a normal person not leading people on from the John ha.
Sounds about right, definitely not catfishing. Just realised that I can see his location as he added me on Snapchat a couple weeks ago. I donāt use it much but to chat to a couple friends.
Anyway, just like you, the pennies dropped. I guess itās become habitual but also fills in my nights and days too. Iām hardly ever alone but I can be lonely and it feels that void for a bit until you want to really feel it and find out if itās genuine.
Posted by sweetheartsPosted by pisceanloves
Sounds sketchy. Being so close and haven't even facetimed yet?? umm NO. How come he doesn't want to see you in real time. I'd say he's a catfish. And never arrange meeting with someone you only know thru texts
And the reason I donāt believe heās catfishing is because his pictures can be on the spot, for instant one was him pulling faces saying about to smash these pointing to a pack of chips or the other night he sends a picture of himself laying on the couch looking unmotivated 20 minutes before he had to start work, asking, do I look motivated to go to work? It was 10:40pm. I know you can get random pics like that but I also just know, you know. Iāve done my little tests. The catfish series was one of my favs and Iām suspicious by nature!click to expand
Why are you avoiding video call??
I assume you also suffer from some kind of insecurities that you don't necessarily want to expose.. IDK me and my virgo facetime every day, that's like our daily routine. Before we go to work we call each other. No idea how can you go without seeing someone in real time
Posted by pisceanlovesPosted by sweetheartsPosted by pisceanloves
Sounds sketchy. Being so close and haven't even facetimed yet?? umm NO. How come he doesn't want to see you in real time. I'd say he's a catfish. And never arrange meeting with someone you only know thru texts
And the reason I donāt believe heās catfishing is because his pictures can be on the spot, for instant one was him pulling faces saying about to smash these pointing to a pack of chips or the other night he sends a picture of himself laying on the couch looking unmotivated 20 minutes before he had to start work, asking, do I look motivated to go to work? It was 10:40pm. I know you can get random pics like that but I also just know, you know. Iāve done my little tests. The catfish series was one of my favs and Iām suspicious by nature!
Why are you avoiding video call??
I assume you also suffer from some kind of insecurities that you don't necessarily want to expose.. IDK me and my virgo facetime every day, that's like our daily routine. Before we go to work we call each other. No idea how can you go without seeing someone in real timeclick to expand
The subject has never come up, I would prefer to meet in person. No donāt believe Iām insecure, too much going for me but these days with social media and everyone taking pictures of everything they do drives me nuts. So much so that, my friends can no longer post pics of me unless I approve the tag, which now I rarely do. Itās a privacy thing. The world has gone nuts with it!
Some people are different, Iām old school. A face to face meeting is the only thing Iām interested in.
PS: I havenāt heard from him so I guess heās worked out Iām not happy with being let down again.
Met Mr Pisces yesterday... itās been frustrating with the push pull and since I last spoke on here, I dropped contact with him altogether then randomly after a month he messages.. only to disappoint again by arranging a meeting for Christmas and backing outā
At that stage I think Iām done and then New Yearās Day he asks to meet for a drink. Didnāt believe heād show up but he did. We had an awesome time š
I think thereāll be a second date, actually Iām sure there will be š oh and he was the perfect gentleman and didnāt take advantage dammit!!! You have to be careful what you wish for sometimes š
Oh and Happy New Year Dxp fam š
At that stage I think Iām done and then New Yearās Day he asks to meet for a drink. Didnāt believe heād show up but he did. We had an awesome time š
I think thereāll be a second date, actually Iām sure there will be š oh and he was the perfect gentleman and didnāt take advantage dammit!!! You have to be careful what you wish for sometimes š
Oh and Happy New Year Dxp fam š
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account āRelated Topics
Background: Scorpio woman + Gemini man, dated almost 4yrs, LDR for the most part
He lives in another country and has been busy with moving to another city, new job, etc. and I have been supportive, been patient, then he became distant and cold: responds
Say a man who is constantly kissing and cuddling you, and holding you tight and doesnāt ever want to let his hands off of you, yet they arenāt usually an affectionate person. Would you say this is a sign of him falling in love?
Iāve been in situations be
about someone non stop? It is really frustrating. It is like an unspoken bond, and you cannot do anything about it. How do you distract yourself and stop thinking?
I was wondering if a leo moon and sag moon couple where one specifically has mars in sag and other in gemini are more prone to swinging and open relationships.
I know 2 different couples with all the placements listed who are in open relationships or swi
I've been having a lot of realization since may of this year some of it is good for my own development but most of it feels like someone is torturing me for a lot of reasons
1.i think i only have 1 friend left that is true to me until proven otherwise,i'
I think Iāve made a few posts talking about a certain guy I have a crush on.
Itās been going on for 3 years.
This year we have tried to stay in contact but most of the time he tends flake on me giving me lame excuses he was busy or he had forgotten (
These are the two types of individuals I find are most discussed in private concerning the dating world and have caused many lives to turn into dramatic soirees. So, letās discuss the two in some detail and explore the mindsets.
For some reason, āgrowth
Hi
I just want your feedback in this situation. I love my boyfriend but lately when he gets mad he insults me. I believe weāre all human and we can say things we donāt mean out of anger. Itās ok if it happens once or twice but my SO is really offending me
Do any of you maintain any type of relationship with your partner's parents?
I stayed with my girl's parents half of the summer, before we moved in together now.
I feel very awkward around them ever since I moved out and took their daughter with me.
It
@MrsElleCappysnatch Don't lie
When is it acceptable to fart in front of someone you're dating?
Or in the dating/courtship phase..
Are you missing someone you donāt have or may never have? Is someone constantly on your mind who you canāt connect with? Then this thread is for you. Here we can send messages to those we love who donāt love us back or who we canāt be with at this time fo
what the freak is going on with my romantic life.
So i'm pretty much confused as hell.
a little overall picture: I am most certainly not someone who enjoys entering and leaving relationships rapidly, but for some reason the last few encounters with women
I first heard about it in How I Met Your Mother. Is it true, though?
Should anyone have to choose between love and faithfulness?? In modern society there are many people with open relationships, open marriages, swingers, swappers, and one year passes which they give to their significant others. Free love they call it and t
Iāve been dating this guy and we have been involved for a while... I know this seems trivial but he never likes any of my pics... heās liked 3 or 4 in all the time we have been involved since december... it really wouldnāt bother me at all but iāve notice
I've heard this saying, "people will only treat you how you allow." However, I've also heard, "You are not responsible for how people treat you - but you are responsible for how you treat others and yourself!"
I think we are responsible for how people wh
Youāve heard the saying, now letās address it with a taste of reality. All people fall into one of the two categories: body count low or body count no/not telling. So the question is how can you tell the difference between the one who lives fast in the sa
New Zealand, been living in Australia for 13 years and he has been here 12. Thatās what I mean, we connect because our backgrounds are similar. I donāt know if youāve ever lived overseas or traveled but when you do you gel with your people from back home very easily. Itās just an instant connection.