commitment without marriage

i am talking about committed for years/decade without marriage. how is that possible? was just going thro' someones fb, and saw she had pictures with her now husband, from years ago. like what makes you stay in a relationship for 8-10 yrs without marriage. maybe it is possible when you get into a relationship at a young age, but otherwise how can you be confident about the commitment without a ring?

Posted by andstrollbot
if they were previously married and are reluctant to do it again

but they both look young mid 30s type. so they dated all of their 20s and stayed committed to each other? how come the girl was so patient. now they are married with two kids.

Lots of ppl don't need the legality of marriage, they are fine with a committed a relationship - it just depends on what you need/want to make you feel committed to each other for some it's a legal ceremony and for some it's a conversation between 2 ppl and for some it's a ceremony before their God.

Now if your talking about why someone stays that wants to get married, I have no idea. Life is too short for you not to be living through life you want.

i get that it is about commitment and not marriage for some, and have seen examples of it, but just wondering a girl always gets thoughts of marriage after its been a while, so what makes her so secure in her relationship that she does not need a piece of paper to prove. how when guys stray even after marriage they can stay loyal without marriage. maybe true love does exist, it's just so rare to find these days, that how can one feel secure in their relationship.

I'm one of those. But I never wanted kids. If that wasn't the case, for sure marriage would be more important to me, for legal reasons.

I wanted to get married when we were younger but he never asked and tbh, I didn't really see any advantage to pressing for it. Now, after almost 30 years, it's not even on the radar.

What's funny is that he and I have been together faithfully for longer than most people in our peer group or even other members of my own family. One brother has been married twice amd divorced once, another brother has been married 5 times.

Idk about you guys but I want to be married.

I don't even care if we get married on a Thursday for free at the courthouse

If I love you, I want to wear your ring and have your last name.

I want that moment to remember for us to share.

That's just so beautiful.

I don't like the knowledge of just living together for years non committed. I need committed and it needs to be apparent. Maybe 1 year 2 max, but 8-10? Hell no. Have an aunt had a bf for 16 years no kids , now they broke up and she wasted that time for nothing.. he never married her like he said he would do eventually

Posted by puhleeze
but otherwise how can you be confident about the commitment without a ring?

Marriage is not synonymous with commitment.

LOL, ^^^^

says the woman with (how many?) ex-husbands who are paying her way...

Posted by Impulsv
Here u go with silly metaphors . How about the wife who spouse cheating constantly in that queen lol

U think that's better why?

That would never happen to her. She'd divorce his ass and just take his money.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by sultrykitty
LOL, ^^^^

says the woman with (how many?) ex-husbands who are paying her way...

Lol but what does that matter? Lol she's got the tittle lol.

My sister ain't no concubine

It's a serious committed relationship n he's very happy to stay with her for eight years! This ain't no I'm

Staying for the kids , I'm staying Cy we just married n to confortable

Is two adults choosing each other

click to expand

Yep. 🙂

But what you said wasn't the truth, there are benefits to renting a house. You don't have to make the repairs, you aren't beholden to the market, you can move a whole lot easier. I love my home but I totally get why ppl rent, especially if you've been thru a natural disaster. Trust me insurance and I mean great insurance doesn't cover all your repairs.

Marriage guarantees you nothing, just like home ownership.

Uh....you dont have to have a piece of paper to be committed. Even married people cheat so marriage isn't foolproof in any respect. Also divorce is expensive. Marriage is pointless imo.

Goldie Hawn says every day when she wakes up she decides to love Kurt. They have been together for a long time.

❤ Goals

My man is free to leave whenever he wants, thing is he'd be worse off than I would (materially). But he won't, because we love each other. Almost 30 years, hun. It's a great feeling knowing that two people love each other for who they are, despite their flaws and not for what material possessions they can provide you.

LOL. OK, Dr Laura.

I prefer marriage but avoided it during the high divorce turnout age span. I'd rather not have any divorce on my name. Things happen sometimes regardless.. But there ya go.

Posted by Impulsv
My sister 35 been in a relationship for 8 years

Won't marry live seperate homes blocks away but always together

cowprker twenty plus year live I. Seperate homes two doors down

See each other mondays we'd fri sat lol

HELL NO

Posted by MysteriousPresence

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Uh....you dont have to have a piece of paper to be committed. Even married people cheat so marriage isn't foolproof in any respect. Also divorce is expensive. Marriage is pointless imo.

'Even married people cheat'

Not all married people.

click to expand

I didn't say ALL. Clearly not the point I was making.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by TaurusinTexas
But what you said wasn't the truth, there are benefits to renting a house. You don't have to make the repairs, you aren't beholden to the market, you can move a whole lot easier. I love my home but I totally get why ppl rent, especially if you've been thru a natural disaster. Trust me insurance and I mean great insurance doesn't cover all your repairs.

Marriage guarantees you nothing, just like home ownership.

How did it go after the storm? Did you salvage any of your things from the old house?

click to expand

Aren't you sweet for asking! I did salvage a lot but it's a long process and an exhausting one but everyday there is progress! 🙂 Strangely the stuff that bothered me most, was my landscaping, my pond and trees, funny how it wasn't the furniture or that kind of stuff (although I still find glass in really weird spots, like shoes or in a pocket of clothes, that I haven't worn since the storm) but my plants being destroyed that's what still breaks my heart - I think that might be my crazy Taurus side shining thru! 😄

My BF's Aries mom was committed to her cancer man for over 10 years before they officially married this past June. *^___^* They were fine with taking their time with it and, when it finally happened, it was something special, indeed.

Meanwhile, they drastically repaired their home, nourished a blossoming garden that yields delicious veggies and herbs and beautiful flowers, and they've expanded their animal family.

Posted by AriesLove
Some people like renting homes some like buying them. There are perks with buying a home none with renting.

Some women like being the Queen some like being the Concubine. There are perks with being a Queen none with being a Concubine.

I'd rather be the concubine of a good man, than the queen of an asshole. The number one reason some women are ok with waiting:

I am my own person, I can take care of myself and my offspring if I choose to have them. It wouldn't be as easy but it's not impossible. I resent being told that I need the "Wife" title to have some sort of status, as if I am defined by the level of commitment I can pull out of a man.

So if your argument is that there are more perks in the modern era of today to BE married than to not be married, you should list them, otherwise it just sounds like the same Traditional gender role bullshit that's been shoved down a woman's throat since birth.

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by TaurusinTexas
But what you said wasn't the truth, there are benefits to renting a house. You don't have to make the repairs, you aren't beholden to the market, you can move a whole lot easier. I love my home but I totally get why ppl rent, especially if you've been thru a natural disaster. Trust me insurance and I mean great insurance doesn't cover all your repairs.

Marriage guarantees you nothing, just like home ownership.

You need to get you a better house. Try a 4 sided brick house and get flood insurance.

Who rents forever....a Damn fool!

click to expand

So now you're changing your argument, it's not about benefits of renting, it's about renting forever, very interesting.

And I have a 4 sided brick house and why would I have flood insurance, I don't live in a flood plain, nor have I experienced a flood. SMH

IDK. If my husband will ask me "do you need piece of paper to justify blah blah blah my commitment"

I will say "when its just a piece of paper, why cannot you put your sign on it? It's just a piece of paper any way"

I want a register marriage, I dont even want a wedding! 😢 I dont think there's anything more romantic than going to the registrar office..signing the papers... 😢 I will not live with him under one roof unless he signs papers.

He doesn't have to buy me a ring too!

I never understood the logic behind this...not signing papers. I get we dont need a paper to justify our commitment to another. But, when you can think soooo high, what's a mere signature of a paper .

Those who are comfortable with it, are fine..to each their own.. But then, we'll have kids! And legality is good for practical purposes, we never know what future brings ..and its my dream to marry since I was baby.

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by TaurusinTexas

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by TaurusinTexas
But what you said wasn't the truth, there are benefits to renting a house. You don't have to make the repairs, you aren't beholden to the market, you can move a whole lot easier. I love my home but I totally get why ppl rent, especially if you've been thru a natural disaster. Trust me insurance and I mean great insurance doesn't cover all your repairs.

Marriage guarantees you nothing, just like home ownership.

You need to get you a better house. Try a 4 sided brick house and get flood insurance.

Who rents forever....a Damn fool!

So now you're changing your argument, it's not about benefits of renting, it's about renting forever, very interesting.

And I have a 4 sided brick house and why would I have flood insurance, I don't live in a flood plain, nor have I experienced a flood. SMH

I'm not changing anything take a look at the OP question. Renting is short term. There is no advantage to renting long term. The goal is to buy.

You must live in Earthquake territory. I have never experienced any kind of damage on any home I have ever lived in and I've stayed in tornado areas, hurricane areas, and in some of the coldest areas in the US. The most damage my home has ever had was a one shutter came loose which was easily repairable. So once again I doubt your house was built to last.

And your argument fails because you obviously STILL want the commitment. And marriage is a commitment.

Like a doctor going to school for all those years just to tell people don't call me a doctor. Crazy!

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My argument fails because how exactly??

And you clearly know nothing about home ownership or weather for that matter.

What I'm hearing from you is that you believe that you are not worthy of a man's love, because a man must marry you or he will leave you, so you need him legally tied to you to make him think twice. Let me just say, YOU are worthy of real love and I suggest upgrading your men and you too will see that a man can love you even if you haven't threatened to take half of everything that's his.

Posted by AriesLove
@TaurusinTexas

Once again you do not make sense. Your thinking is NEGATIVE only! You have obviously been brainwashed or hurt very badly. You must live your life walking on egg shells afraid to do anything. The points you make fail everytime.

Marriage does not keep anyone from leaving nor does a commitment which marriage is. People marry because they want to not forced too. Please keep that in mind, Reprogram your thinking.

Rich men can protect their money it's called a PreNup. The average woman works which I do myself so no one can just take half anyone's money. Alimony is paid to those who do not work, and have not worked in years. But you don't have to be married to get support from a man, if there are kids involved you will receive support. Baby mamas can walk away with a significant amount of money. Reprogram your thinking again.

Lastly, a man BELIEVES I'm worthy of his love if he makes those steps to marriage. Your thinking is backwards. It's almost like a man has said these things to you and brainwashed your mentality.

But you still want a commitment. Just not the title. That's BS

What points have I made and I'm negative, really?? Again, your just making stuff up, so you can have a voice somewhere in your life.

I've known a young woman who was dating a rich man for 10 years and everyone told her to give up but one day she showed up with a huge engagement ring! He wanted to make sure she is for real I guess.

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by TaurusinTexas

Posted by AriesLove
@TaurusinTexas

Once again you do not make sense. Your thinking is NEGATIVE only! You have obviously been brainwashed or hurt very badly. You must live your life walking on egg shells afraid to do anything. The points you make fail everytime.

Marriage does not keep anyone from leaving nor does a commitment which marriage is. People marry because they want to not forced too. Please keep that in mind, Reprogram your thinking.

Rich men can protect their money it's called a PreNup. The average woman works which I do myself so no one can just take half anyone's money. Alimony is paid to those who do not work, and have not worked in years. But you don't have to be married to get support from a man, if there are kids involved you will receive support. Baby mamas can walk away with a significant amount of money. Reprogram your thinking again.

Lastly, a man BELIEVES I'm worthy of his love if he makes those steps to marriage. Your thinking is backwards. It's almost like a man has said these things to you and brainwashed your mentality.

But you still want a commitment. Just not the title. That's BS

What points have I made and I'm negative, really?? Again, your just making stuff up, so you can have a voice somewhere in your life.

When you use words like force, tied, threaten, leave. So women who are married went through this struggle?!?

You are implicating the men were force, tied, threatened, and might leave as their basis for getting married. That's NEGATIVE thinking. But according to you, if he doesn't want to get married he loves you.

Your mind is backwards.

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Well look at us, I think your mind is twisted with anger and ugliness and you think mine is too. I think we might be BFF's before you know it! 😄

Posted by tiziani
But, then again, she proposed.

So excited for you , CONGRATS!! I just love that Taurus! 🙂

Posted by tiziani

Posted by TaurusinTexas

Posted by tiziani
But, then again, she proposed.

So excited for you , CONGRATS!! I just love that Taurus! 🙂

Lol This was my ex-fiancee. Thanks for the good spirit.

click to expand

Well congrats on dodging that bullet then! 😄

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by Gennie

Posted by AriesLove
Some people like renting homes some like buying them. There are perks with buying a home none with renting.

Some women like being the Queen some like being the Concubine. There are perks with being a Queen none with being a Concubine.

I'd rather be the concubine of a good man, than the queen of an asshole. The number one reason some women are ok with waiting:

I am my own person, I can take care of myself and my offspring if I choose to have them. It wouldn't be as easy but it's not impossible. I resent being told that I need the "Wife" title to have some sort of status, as if I am defined by the level of commitment I can pull out of a man.

So if your argument is that there are more perks in the modern era of today to BE married than to not be married, you should list them, otherwise it just sounds like the same Traditional gender role bullshit that's been shoved down a woman's throat since birth.

I guess what you are saying is an asshole is the only kind of man who would marry you?!?

I guess what you're also saying is that a woman cannot be married and have her own money and things in her name.

So why not just go down to the sperm bank buy some sperm, raise your child, be mom and dad, and be alone. Obviously you need a man for something.

Lastly you feel like you have to pull commitments out.

I see the Fake Feminists still need the man just don't want to be the wife. All making sense now.

click to expand

I'm still waiting on your list of perks.

Your argument on this thread is that Wife > anything else, without thinking through what that means for women as a whole. You are, attempting to instill your own morality, and coaching it as in looking out for women.

Instead of presenting your argument, you decided that it would be logical to engage my points in a hyperbolic effort to distract from the fact, that you have no argument.

Maybe I really love the guy but I don't want my credit score impacted when I buy a house. Marriage is about more than "Love" and being the "Queen". It is about meshing together as a financial entity, your credit scores and debts now belong to each other, enjoy.

It's cheaper to go habitate than to go single, but with women now being able to have their own financial power, it's not a requirement to get married just so you can have a bank account. I shit you not, when my grandmother was a young woman, you could only get a bank account or credit with your father or your husband otherwise you had to have cash.

Valid arguments for marriage can be made, but none of them are about achieving "Wife" like a status symbol.

there are men out there that don't want the piece of paper.

if they die without a ring on their finger that's just how it is.

i think those types just don't want to have the hassle. so if they break up, no harm done..



what I've noticed, astrology wise, they have a strong virgo signature in their chart.

unless they a heavy cancer placement, or strong 4th house (ie, moon in 4th, sun in 4th that kind of thing)

then marriage is more persuadable.

but if they have aries and virgo, or aqua combination..... *smh* watch out.

Posted by AriesLove


Perks of Marriage are Respect, Status, Standard, Security and Commitment

Hilarious. How is marriage even a prerequisite for any of these?

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by AriesLove


Perks of Marriage are Respect, Status, Standard, Security and Commitment

Hilarious. How is marriage even a prerequisite for any of these?

Who said prerequisite?!?

Add Value to the list.

click to expand

Uhm, you did. What value are you speaking of?



Your answers are getting more and more cryptic, lol.

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by AriesLove


Perks of Marriage are Respect, Status, Standard, Security and Commitment

Hilarious. How is marriage even a prerequisite for any of these?

Who said prerequisite?!?

Add Value to the list.

Uhm, you did. What value are you speaking of?



Your answers are getting more and more cryptic, lol.

I said perks. When did perks and prerequisites become the same word.

I'm not going to argue with dumb and blind it's pointless

click to expand

These are perks of being in a committed relationship, married or not. Well minus the status (which I would argue isn't actually real. I know of no married women who would attach ststus to being married).

Would you like to try again? 🙂

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by AriesLove


Perks of Marriage are Respect, Status, Standard, Security and Commitment

Hilarious. How is marriage even a prerequisite for any of these?

Who said prerequisite?!?

Add Value to the list.

Uhm, you did. What value are you speaking of?



Your answers are getting more and more cryptic, lol.

I said perks. When did perks and prerequisites become the same word.

I'm not going to argue with dumb and blind it's pointless

These are perks of being in a committed relationship, married or not. Well minus the status (which I would argue isn't actually real. I know of no married women who would attach ststus to being married).

Would you like to try again? 🙂

YOU know of no one. But all the women who put Mrs. in front of their name obviously want recognition for something.

click to expand

I know a LOT of married women. I'm a minoriry in that regard.

At first it's a big deal, then learning how to live with another person happily becomes more important.

I've never stated that there aren't *some* advantages to marriage, but most of them aren't relevant in today's world. My parents believe as you do, and I caught hell for years about my relationship...UNTIL they saw how we are together. After a few years, their opinion of our relationship has changed 180°, and my SO is as good as part of the family in their eyes.

I see marriage as more than a piece of paper but there are some legal benefits I would really hate to be powerless over if I am settled with someone for life and something happens to them.. Especially if I detect foul play.

Posted by AriesLove
@Gennie

What era do you live in?!? Seriously

Your credit score goes down, can't get a bank account?!?

Anyone can get a bank account. Married or not.

Anyone can have good or bad credit. Married or not.

Anyone can work a job, have their own credit cards, loans, financial power. Married or not.

Being married does not take any financial power away from you.

Perks of Marriage are Respect, Status, Standard, Security and Committment.

Your argument fails because your thinking is completely Negative when it comes to Marriage like it takes your whole life away.

Yet you still want a Committment. It's Like a physician without the Dr. Like a lawyer without the Esq. Like a woman without the Brain. It makes no sense.

My grandmother grew up in an era where marriage was a woman's life, in the 30's and 40's. Women did not own property, women could not get their own bank account. Famous actresses at the time used to have their male managers or agents co-sign for them to open a bank account.

My mother grew up Post-Feminism. But it was still a stigma to be a single mother and she had me right after high school. Society then expected my mother marry my father even though he beat her.

I tell you this, because your argument lacks an appreciation of the ability to be self-sufficient. It also lacks an understanding that you lose that self-sufficiency in marriage as you become one legal and financial entity with someone else. Being married impacts your financial power, it automatically creates Power of Attorney in time of crisis, it means that the person you are married to has legal authority when it concerns you.

Your Perks:

Perks of Marriage are Respect, Status, Standard, Security and Commitment.

Respect: Only low class bitches see a girlfriend and think the man is open season. If I am so unfortunate as to have a partner that prefers a low class bitch, that is my fault for choosing poorly. No ring on his finger is going to make a man like that think twice about running off with a slag.

Status: As if my only worth is being an appendage or a partner to someone else. This is patriarchal society thinking.

Standard: Ahhh, and now we get right to the root of it. This is YOUR standard and value system. And don't I feel lucky you are imparting, or should I say pushing, your value system onto me, because you don't seem to respect anyone else's.

Security: I can take care of myself, I can take care of any offspring, oh and my family won't turn their nose up at me for not having a man.

Commitment: If someone cannot commit without the institution of marriage, then they are not likely to get hit by lightning and be committed afterward. Commitment is from the soul, it doesn't have physical representation.

TBC!!!!

Posted by AriesLove
@Gennie

What era do you live in?!? Seriously

Your credit score goes down, can't get a bank account?!?

Anyone can get a bank account. Married or not.

Anyone can have good or bad credit. Married or not.

Anyone can work a job, have their own credit cards, loans, financial power. Married or not.

Being married does not take any financial power away from you.

Perks of Marriage are Respect, Status, Standard, Security and Committment.

Your argument fails because your thinking is completely Negative when it comes to Marriage like it takes your whole life away.

Yet you still want a Committment. It's Like a physician without the Dr. Like a lawyer without the Esq. Like a woman without the Brain. It makes no sense.

Continued:

You missed my point by a mile, in that marriage impacts you by changing you from an individual into a fused entity from a legal and financial standpoint. It's not taking your life away, it's fusing it with someone else's. Whether the marriage is negative or positive is dependent on the couple and it DOESN'T NEGATE THE FACTS ABOUT THE FUSING.

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by AriesLove


Perks of Marriage are Respect, Status, Standard, Security and Commitment

Hilarious. How is marriage even a prerequisite for any of these?

Who said prerequisite?!?

Add Value to the list.

Uhm, you did. What value are you speaking of?



Your answers are getting more and more cryptic, lol.

I said perks. When did perks and prerequisites become the same word.

I'm not going to argue with dumb and blind it's pointless

These are perks of being in a committed relationship, married or not. Well minus the status (which I would argue isn't actually real. I know of no married women who would attach ststus to being married).

Would you like to try again? 🙂

YOU know of no one. But all the women who put Mrs. in front of their name obviously want recognition for something.

click to expand

Yes, that they joined the Stepford Wives club.

Posted by AriesLove
@Gennie

Yes do yourself a favor don't get married for fear of turning into a helpless, jobless, worthless, motherless, classless, tasteless, powerless object.

You know yourself better than me.

Holy Cats, you should have opened with not getting married makes you motherless - damn, I love my mom, I don't want to lose her to not being married............. hahaha 😄

Posted by AriesLove
@Gennie

Yes do yourself a favor don't get married for fear of turning into a helpless, jobless, worthless, motherless, classless, tasteless, powerless object.

You know yourself better than me.

I've been common-law married, turned down 2 marriage proposals, had one of mine turned down, and the Scorpie is doing his Scorpie thing and sussing me out before he proposes, IE he wants to make damn sure my answer is yes. You ascribe it to fear, but the reality is, I have thought out the concept of marriage and what I bring to the table. The Aqua in me is comfortable in a long-term non traditional commitment until the Virgo in me checks off all the boxes.

This entire thread has been about why women "settle" for "less than marriage", not a single tangent about the men in their lives. As if the reason she's not a wife is because there is something wrong with her. I told you that you have a patriarchal point of view toward marriage, and your arguments assume that I am some crazy third-wave feminist.

In actuality my people are matriarchal, with strong traditional ideas on gender roles. It makes for stronger women and more responsible men in a world that is starting to revolve around instant gratification.

Posted by Gennie

Posted by AriesLove
@Gennie

Yes do yourself a favor don't get married for fear of turning into a helpless, jobless, worthless, motherless, classless, tasteless, powerless object.

You know yourself better than me.

I've been common-law married, turned down 2 marriage proposals, had one of mine turned down, and the Scorpie is doing his Scorpie thing and sussing me out before he proposes, IE he wants to make damn sure my answer is yes. You ascribe it to fear, but the reality is, I have thought out the concept of marriage and what I bring to the table. The Aqua in me is comfortable in a long-term non traditional commitment until the Virgo in me checks off all the boxes.

This entire thread has been about why women "settle" for "less than marriage", not a single tangent about the men in their lives. As if the reason she's not a wife is because there is something wrong with her. I told you that you have a patriarchal point of view toward marriage, and your arguments assume that I am some crazy third-wave feminist.

In actuality my people are matriarchal, with strong traditional ideas on gender roles. It makes for stronger women and more responsible men in a world that is starting to revolve around instant gratification.

click to expand

SOME scorpio suns do that...they wait for years until they pop the question.

I've seen Virgo suns do that a lot...... *nods*

sometimes, they never pop the question.

you're lucky if they pop the question when you are senior citizen age. Very lucky.

edit - i'm talking about the virgo suns who are dominantly FIXED too.

my double virgo father in law......oh boy. his 2nd marriage.......YEARS and YEARS.

my virgo bro in law?? still single living common law...

my virgo uncle?? got married right away. lol

it's all debatable.

you know what— that Matthew McConaughy?? isn't he Virgo moon??

took him awhile. See??

the VIRGO is in there!! and aquarius too. *smh*

edit - oohhhh that Richard Burton,

took him quick the first time with is first wife, then married Liz taylor.

you gotta get them drunk for a 2nd round.

(Btw. Richard Burton has VIRGO moon too!!)

Personally I think Scorpie is like:

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by TaurusinTexas

Posted by AriesLove
@Gennie

Yes do yourself a favor don't get married for fear of turning into a helpless, jobless, worthless, motherless, classless, tasteless, powerless object.

You know yourself better than me.

Holy Cats, you should have opened with not getting married makes you motherless - damn, I love my mom, I don't want to lose her to not being married............. hahaha 😄

Yes sad when a claim to fame "independent" women believes a marriage will drag her down and strip her of the bare necessities.

Can't be the marriage must be the man.

click to expand

If you want to ascribe value to yourself because you got married, then sally forth and be fabulous. DO NOT force it on others, and demean another life style just because it doesn't fit in with your system.

Besides the fact that, someone else's relationship is none of your damn business.

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by Gennie

Posted by AriesLove
@Gennie

Yes do yourself a favor don't get married for fear of turning into a helpless, jobless, worthless, motherless, classless, tasteless, powerless object.

You know yourself better than me.

I've been common-law married, turned down 2 marriage proposals, had one of mine turned down, and the Scorpie is doing his Scorpie thing and sussing me out before he proposes, IE he wants to make damn sure my answer is yes. You ascribe it to fear, but the reality is, I have thought out the concept of marriage and what I bring to the table. The Aqua in me is comfortable in a long-term non traditional commitment until the Virgo in me checks off all the boxes.

This entire thread has been about why women "settle" for "less than marriage", not a single tangent about the men in their lives. As if the reason she's not a wife is because there is something wrong with her. I told you that you have a patriarchal point of view toward marriage, and your arguments assume that I am some crazy third-wave feminist.

In actuality my people are matriarchal, with strong traditional ideas on gender roles. It makes for stronger women and more responsible men in a world that is starting to revolve around instant gratification.

I don't need your life story.

I just know you think a woman can't be independent and married at the same time. Sorry multi-tasking is not your strong trait. Your mentality is of the 50's. You claim women are strong yet with a man in a marriage they become weak.

One again you are not claiming single. You're denouncing marriage.

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I debate with facts, not assumptions, not generalizations, nor do I jump to conclusions. Which means I read, even if it means a life story, as it often contains information, something your arguments lack.

In a legally binding marriage in the Western World, both man and woman cease to become individuals in the eyes of law and finance. That is *FACT*. So if one is to get married, that has to be a consideration, and if its not ADVANTAGEOUS, there is no value to it until that is rectified if it's something that both want. I know this as a fact because I prepare and file US taxes and have for the last 4 years.

Secondly, if you are incapacitated and unable to communicate, your spouse has Power of Attorney. This is the ability to make all medical and financial decisions for you, up to and including divorce unless your appointed guardian objects.

It's ironic that you are accusing me of using 1950's logic when your list of perks "Respect, Status, Standard, Commitment" is based on marital view of that era.

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by Gennie

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by TaurusinTexas

Posted by AriesLove
@Gennie

Yes do yourself a favor don't get married for fear of turning into a helpless, jobless, worthless, motherless, classless, tasteless, powerless object.

You know yourself better than me.

Holy Cats, you should have opened with not getting married makes you motherless - damn, I love my mom, I don't want to lose her to not being married............. hahaha 😄

Yes sad when a claim to fame "independent" women believes a marriage will drag her down and strip her of the bare necessities.

Can't be the marriage must be the man.

If you want to ascribe value to yourself because you got married, then sally forth and be fabulous. DO NOT force it on others, and demean another life style just because it doesn't fit in with your system.

Besides the fact that, someone else's relationship is none of your damn business.

Then don't quote my comment and stay out my damn business. I can't state whatever I want on a thread not created by you.

This is how I know you are dumb as phuck.

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Aww, don't pussy out now internet tough girl. I want you to debate me with actual facts, but all you're giving me is your opinion. So no, it's not good enough. You wanted to establish a precedent that a wife is more important, is more respectable, is deserving of more respect, than a woman who is not. You are so caught up in my complete disagreement with your assessment of the value of a companion, that the point of marriage being more than being a Queen, sailed over your head.

You opened your mouth before you thought this through, and that is how I know you are dumb as fuck.

Posted by AriesLove
@ Gennie

I know for a FACT I can buy a car, have a bank account, credit cards, a home in my name only and still be married. I can take out loans and have my own insurance. If it's not joint it's mine.

I know for a FACT I can inherit a gift or property from my family and my husband cannot touch it if I keep it out of marital interests.

I know for a FACT I can file married but separate on my tax returns.

I know for a FACT I can have a living will while being married for my best interest.

But like I said you speak from a afraid and scorned woman's POV. It's not the institution of marriage that scares you. It's who you choose. People scam boyfriends and girlfriends all time.

So then TRULY, what is the benefit of marriage over a long term relationship except a ring? That is, if someone is happy and has all those things above, without it?

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by AriesLove
@ Gennie

I know for a FACT I can buy a car, have a bank account, credit cards, a home in my name only and still be married. I can take out loans and have my own insurance. If it's not joint it's mine.

I know for a FACT I can inherit a gift or property from my family and my husband cannot touch it if I keep it out of marital interests.

I know for a FACT I can file married but separate on my tax returns.

I know for a FACT I can have a living will while being married for my best interest.

But like I said you speak from a afraid and scorned woman's POV. It's not the institution of marriage that scares you. It's who you choose. People scam boyfriends and girlfriends all time.

So then TRULY, what is the benefit of marriage except a ring? That is, if someone is happy and has all those things above, without it?

Pretend then....

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There's no reason to have to.