Gennie
@Gennie
9 Years1,000+ Posts
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commitment without marriage (Page 3)
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Posted by busyeyes88I don't think marriage is important.......the wedding talk is coming from the man in my relationship. So how does that figure?
All these women on here saying marriage is not important are with men who don't want to marry them and they are happy to "settle".
Sure two people who are committed to each other in every way would want that sealed with one final COMMITTED step MARRIAGE....
I rest my case. Enjoy "co-habiting" people!!!
I know the question is coming at some point, but I can go with Cancer *YAY kisses* or Aquarius *FUCK RUN*.
Not being married to Scorpie does not mean "less committed". But you know what, again, I'm not Judeo-Christian and I get that attitude alot from women who are.
Posted by busyeyes88lolPosted by TerramineLightYou know exactly what I am saying!!!! Two people who are already committed make the ULTIMATE commitment via MARRIAGE!! How does that sounds?!! Understand now!!!!
I'm pretty sure that's not how Marriage works. I think you have things backwards. You get married BECAUSE you're committed to the person. You don't get married TO commit. I mean you're literally saying the only way for people to be committed is if they're literally /forced/ to be by some ring.
DO NOT PUT WORDS INTO MY MOUTH (I hate that!). Where did you see me use the words "forced /to br by some ring" THAT'S YOUR INTERPRETATION and YOUR WORDS.
If you want to quote me "literally" USE MY WORDS OK!!!click to expand
earthy gals love the smell of PROPERTY, housing, OWNERSHIP. lmao
so I totally understand.
I want to have something for my children and grandchildren, to give later, legacies and all that.
love too, of course.
but since we're veering off LOVE. pfftttt marriage is about property taxes and 8th house inheritances, ect.
but since we're veering off LOVE. pfftttt marriage is about property taxes and 8th house inheritances, ect.
Posted by AriesLoveIt actually depends on where you live... for example, you can only get married 7 times in the state of Texas. Considering you are such a proponent of divorce, you might want to check your local statutes.Posted by Arielle83So phucking what! Who said a marriage had to be forever that doesn't tie you dog chain to a person if you no longer choose to be with them. That's why they created divorce you stupid mutt.
Yet you're divorced.
Ho hum.
People can marry as many times as they want. But who the phuck wants to play house?
I will only accept Queen/Wifey status. Not your girlfriend, roomate, servant, or concubine.
Are you divorced? Do you plan on getting divorce?
If not shut the phuck up and stop being a stupid following bitch because your dumb ass is married. But let you tell it you were forced by family or whatever dumb shit comes to your deranged mind at the time just to fit in with these loosing ass self conscious hoes.
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I read a saying somewhere "5 years without marriage is same thing as saying shit like "sorry honey, I'm currently busy looking for a better chick"
Posted by RamOfPeace
I read a saying somewhere "5 years without marriage is same thing as saying shit like "sorry honey, I'm currently busy looking for a better chick"
I think it's good for a majority, but not all guys. Most guys will ask within the first 3 years of a committed relationship. But I know a lot of Aquas especially who can take 7 years or more, or never.
Posted by AriesLoveWell to each their own, you were just stating opinions as facts, so I wanted to help you out with the actual facts.Posted by TaurusinTexasDon't plan on being married 7 times. Considering one marriage was 7 and the other 5. Don't plan to be living that long. But definitely 3X. I'm in my early 30's, look good, feel good and don't plan on hoeing EVER!Posted by AriesLoveIt actually depends on where you live... for example, you can only get married 7 times in the state of Texas. Considering you are such a proponent of divorce, you might want to check your local statutes.Posted by Arielle83So phucking what! Who said a marriage had to be forever that doesn't tie you dog chain to a person if you no longer choose to be with them. That's why they created divorce you stupid mutt.
Yet you're divorced.
Ho hum.
People can marry as many times as they want. But who the phuck wants to play house?
I will only accept Queen/Wifey status. Not your girlfriend, roomate, servant, or concubine.
Are you divorced? Do you plan on getting divorce?
If not shut the phuck up and stop being a stupid following bitch because your dumb ass is married. But let you tell it you were forced by family or whatever dumb shit comes to your deranged mind at the time just to fit in with these loosing ass self conscious hoes.
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Of course you look and feel good in your early 30s, pretty much everyone does - because that's still super young!
A ring is a material possession. There are plenty rings out there on fingers that many people would question the legitimacy of.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428Posted by puhleezeHow long were you in a relationship and when shit hits the fan how do you handle it?
i am talking about committed for years/decade without marriage. how is that possible? was just going thro' someones fb, and saw she had pictures with her now husband, from years ago. like what makes you stay in a relationship for 8-10 yrs without marriage. maybe it is possible when you get into a relationship at a young age, but otherwise how can you be confident about the commitment without a ring?click to expand
i haven't been in long term relationships, just waiting for mr. right or just a loving mr. haha. but noticed some lucky ones who found mr. right and stayed along for long without being called the mrs. i did not say it is wrong to stay committed without marriage, but just that marriage is a beautiful thing, if you are so long together it is natural (ok from this post i will say at least for some) to want marriage. if both are committed till old age without marriage, more power to them.
Posted by 2MoonYes a ring is just an object it won't make you feel any different with or without it. Its just a nice addition.Posted by HarleyTwinFlameyou dumb af. its disgusting
Idk about you guys but I want to be married.
I don't even care if we get married on a Thursday for free at the courthouse
If I love you, I want to wear your ring and have your last name.
I want that moment to remember for us to share.
That's just so beautiful.
I don't like the knowledge of just living together for years non committed. I need committed and it needs to be apparent. Maybe 1 year 2 max, but 8-10? Hell no. Have an aunt had a bf for 16 years no kids , now they broke up and she wasted that time for nothing.. he never married her like he said he would do eventually
" I need commited and it needs to be apparent "
you are supposed to feel it like in your heart..... duhhhh. a ring is just an object....
so much bullshiet here:
I don't like the knowledge of just living together for years non committed. I need committed and it needs to be apparent. Maybe 1 year 2 max, but 8-10? Hell no. Have an aunt had a bf for 16 years no kids , now they broke up and she wasted that time for nothing.. he never married her like he said he would do eventually
i dont even know where to start...
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I don't see the point of being with someone for years and not getting married. Why not? It's a beautiful moment to share with someone who you care about.. it doesn't have to be about anybody else. Relationships should lead to marriage, at least thats what I want..
Whats so bad about that?
Posted by AriesLoveThat's exactly what has the other ladies back up. You state that "Wifey" status, JFC I can't even, is the ultimate goal of a relationship and that's fine when you are speaking just for yourself. If you don't feel valued as a partner until you get the ring, that's your prerogative.Posted by cheekyfaerieI know you don't because you don't NEED it being a concubine.Posted by AriesLoveThe difference between you and me is that I don't *have* to demand it. But continue to call me names if it makes you feel better about yourself. I'm above that.Posted by cheekyfaerieThis is why I can't argue with dumb hoes. People treat their marriage how they want. Bitch you are not me, I demand respect. I don't give a phuck if you are my husband or not. You can be replaced. My life is about progressing.Posted by AriesLoveTo treat marriage as simply a higher form of dating, where you treat your spouse as something disposable, cheapens it and turns it into a sham. Then you sit here and judge other women for not buying into the sham? Ok.Posted by Arielle83So phucking what! Who said a marriage had to be forever that doesn't tie you dog chain to a person if you no longer choose to be with them. That's why they created divorce you stupid mutt.
Yet you're divorced.
Ho hum.
People can marry as many times as they want. But who the phuck wants to play house?
I will only accept Queen/Wifey status. Not your girlfriend, roomate, servant, or concubine.
Are you divorced? Do you plan on getting divorce?
If not shut the phuck up and stop being a stupid following bitch because your dumb ass is married. But let you tell it you were forced by family or whatever dumb shit comes to your deranged mind at the time just to fit in with these loosing ass self conscious hoes.
I state my opinion if you feel it's judging that is a personal self conscious issue seek a psychiatrist because I clearly don't give a phuck what comes out my mouth and lands in your insecurities.
A Queen demands it she has that right. Otherwise you are exiled. You will always stay below me.
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But do not ever presume to leverage your morality as why are you superior to "non-wives". I can just as easily look at that ring and think "That woman has been purchased". I can easily look at that ring and think "She will only stay with him if she can get something out of it, if it goes south."
Posted by puhleeze
i am talking about committed for years/decade without marriage. how is that possible? was just going thro' someones fb, and saw she had pictures with her now husband, from years ago. like what makes you stay in a relationship for 8-10 yrs without marriage. maybe it is possible when you get into a relationship at a young age, but otherwise how can you be confident about the commitment without a ring?
I don't need a ring to confide in my partner, and a ring doesn't guarantee that she will remain faithful. A lot of people have the WRONG idea about what a marriage is, and it is a big reason why the divorce rate is so high.
A cousin of mine and her husband were together for 13 years before he even proposed, and when he did, they both knew without a shadow of a doubt that they will be together for the remainder of their days because they've already been through everything together. They went on their vacations, argued, had their falling outs, raised two daughters to adulthood, had a business rise and fall, spent the holidays together, celebrated birthdays, and other festivities, and taken many night time strolls together. After all of this, not one ounce of love was lost, and that is when they decided to get married.
Before you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone, you need to spend a good portion of your life with them. And that portion is larger than most people think. It's not weeks, or months, it's YEARS. And not one or two. You need to spend the amount of time necessary to know this person as well as they know themselves, and they've living with themselves for a VERY long time.
Posted by AriesLoveAt least Busyeyes included the thought process of love as part of the equation. You'll continue to search for something in marriage that isn't there, because it has to do with what is inside you. A man giving you a ring won't fix what is broke in there. Meditation might though, should give it a try. Or prayer to the Almighty if you lean that way.
Go run a mile @Gennie
@crabra
Very well put. It's important to note that at some point in your commitment, you won't be the same person you were at the beginning. And neither is your partner, after all who can predict the weather. A lot of people get married thinking that everything that went before was the hard stuff, and yet life has not even begun to test you.
Very well put. It's important to note that at some point in your commitment, you won't be the same person you were at the beginning. And neither is your partner, after all who can predict the weather. A lot of people get married thinking that everything that went before was the hard stuff, and yet life has not even begun to test you.
Posted by AriesLoveOk, so 6x then. 🙂Posted by TaurusinTexasDon't plan on being married 7 times. Considering one marriage was 7 and the other 5. Don't plan to be living that long. But definitely 3X. I'm in my early 30's, look good, feel good and don't plan on hoeing EVER!Posted by AriesLoveIt actually depends on where you live... for example, you can only get married 7 times in the state of Texas. Considering you are such a proponent of divorce, you might want to check your local statutes.Posted by Arielle83So phucking what! Who said a marriage had to be forever that doesn't tie you dog chain to a person if you no longer choose to be with them. That's why they created divorce you stupid mutt.
Yet you're divorced.
Ho hum.
People can marry as many times as they want. But who the phuck wants to play house?
I will only accept Queen/Wifey status. Not your girlfriend, roomate, servant, or concubine.
Are you divorced? Do you plan on getting divorce?
If not shut the phuck up and stop being a stupid following bitch because your dumb ass is married. But let you tell it you were forced by family or whatever dumb shit comes to your deranged mind at the time just to fit in with these loosing ass self conscious hoes.
click to expand
Please don't fight each other
😢
Lets just agree to disagree.
As long as you do what you want and your partner is on the same page then great.
😢
Lets just agree to disagree.
As long as you do what you want and your partner is on the same page then great.
Posted by puhleezeI have Capricorn in the 7th and Scorpio in the 5th, and marriage has to be right or I'm not settling. I'm still not settling. I have to build a foundation up with someone first, I need a friend, best friend, lover, and then we'll see.Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428Posted by puhleezeHow long were you in a relationship and when shit hits the fan how do you handle it?
i am talking about committed for years/decade without marriage. how is that possible? was just going thro' someones fb, and saw she had pictures with her now husband, from years ago. like what makes you stay in a relationship for 8-10 yrs without marriage. maybe it is possible when you get into a relationship at a young age, but otherwise how can you be confident about the commitment without a ring?
i haven't been in long term relationships, just waiting for mr. right or just a loving mr. haha. but noticed some lucky ones who found mr. right and stayed along for long without being called the mrs. i did not say it is wrong to stay committed without marriage, but just that marriage is a beautiful thing, if you are so long together it is natural (ok from this post i will say at least for some) to want marriage. if both are committed till old age without marriage, more power to them.
click to expand
I Am not the type to divorce either so if I ever get married it's for the long haul and only one time except if there is cheating. I did that in my past stay longer than necessary in a 6 year relationship when we're like a married couple without the ring. It was good and bad. And no kids either if I befriend a guy and stay at least 3 years good and bad I'll know to settle down with.
OK so what about cases where people break up after decades and then one of them immediately meets and marries someone new within months of breakup. does that mean they just did not want to marry their partner of years?
Posted by puhleezeIt smells of them being so afraid of being lonely that they think marrying the next one will lock them down.
OK so what about cases where people break up after decades and then one of them immediately meets and marries someone new within months of breakup. does that mean they just did not want to marry their partner of years?
Not everyone is bound to societal norms and they actually think for themselves, OP.
Marriage is a social construct that's beaten into our heads as soon as we're old enough to comprehend what's going on in the world.
The big question is why can't YOU understand that these arrangements work for these people? Truly committed individuals don't need the legality of marriage to dictate their relationship's worth. If a woman is caught up on that title during a perfectly normal relationship, then she's allowing her insecurities to get to her. At some point, discussing the potential end goal of such things should have come up and if one's answer was not good enough for the other, they have every option to walk.
It's jut not for some people and some view it as legal protection should anything dire happen.
All this post says of you, OP, is you need to break free of the societal brainwashing you're suffering from and realize that relationships are not a one size fits all. People no longer view it as "love, then marriage, then baby carriage."
Marriage is a social construct that's beaten into our heads as soon as we're old enough to comprehend what's going on in the world.
The big question is why can't YOU understand that these arrangements work for these people? Truly committed individuals don't need the legality of marriage to dictate their relationship's worth. If a woman is caught up on that title during a perfectly normal relationship, then she's allowing her insecurities to get to her. At some point, discussing the potential end goal of such things should have come up and if one's answer was not good enough for the other, they have every option to walk.
It's jut not for some people and some view it as legal protection should anything dire happen.
All this post says of you, OP, is you need to break free of the societal brainwashing you're suffering from and realize that relationships are not a one size fits all. People no longer view it as "love, then marriage, then baby carriage."
interesting aidan wants marriage, carrie doesn't think they need it.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Not everyone is bound to societal norms and they actually think for themselves, OP.
Marriage is a social construct that's beaten into our heads as soon as we're old enough to comprehend what's going on in the world.
The big question is why can't YOU understand that these arrangements work for these people? Truly committed individuals don't need the legality of marriage to dictate their relationship's worth. If a woman is caught up on that title during a perfectly normal relationship, then she's allowing her insecurities to get to her. At some point, discussing the potential end goal of such things should have come up and if one's answer was not good enough for the other, they have every option to walk.
It's jut not for some people and some view it as legal protection should anything dire happen.
All this post says of you, OP, is you need to break free of the societal brainwashing you're suffering from and realize that relationships are not a one size fits all. People no longer view it as "love, then marriage, then baby carriage."
i know that marriage is not a key to happiness, it just feels natural, to me, to want to marry someone i am in love with, and who is in love with me. i am not saying there is anything wrong with people who stay committed without marriage. people can part ways married or not, it's just the beautiful feeling of celebrating your love by tying the knot. this has nothing to do with material things, but with emotional things.
Posted by GiveMeAqua
Different strokes for different folks.. My views have changed over the years, the older I get the less need for validity. Marriage used to be a necessary end game and now it's just a piece of paper. Personally, I don't feel like I need to prove my commitment or the loyalty I have for someone I truly love, merely by having it on paper and changing my last name.. The proof of commitment is in the work you put into that relationship.. Marriage is more so a symbolic celebration of a commitment that is, or at least should already be well established, in my opinion..
No matter how it's done the end game is the same; A long-lasting and hopefully happy partnership with someone you love and sharing your life with them. It shouldn't matter if it's on paper or not..
not arguing, but what if one partner wants marriage and the other doesn't? if both don't need marriage then it does not matter.
Posted by GiveMeAquaPosted by puhleezeI would like to think that the basic "what do you want in the future?" questions will have been asking before any proposal is made.. Getting or not married, having or not having children, ideal place to settle down.. That said, like in any good partnership, there takes compromise and all of that would depend on the individuals reason for wanting or not wanting to get married.. That would be on the couple to decide whether or not their stance on the matter is worth potentially sacrificing someone they love to maintain their position and decide how necessary it really is for them to be wed or not. These sorts of things should be out in the open early enough for two people to decide if it's something that is a deal breaker. Obviously, complete honesty is important. I've known people that had always wanted to get married, had the future talk with their partner, and pretend they are fine with not getting married in the hopes that their partner would change their mind, only to resent their partner, leave them, all for not giving them what they had never expressed they wanted in the first place.. I don't know what's worse, selling themselves short and settling for something/someone that was never going to give them what they needed or throwing away a relationship after years together because, they couldn't have it in writing :/Posted by GiveMeAqua
Different strokes for different folks.. My views have changed over the years, the older I get the less need for validity. Marriage used to be a necessary end game and now it's just a piece of paper. Personally, I don't feel like I need to prove my commitment or the loyalty I have for someone I truly love, merely by having it on paper and changing my last name.. The proof of commitment is in the work you put into that relationship.. Marriage is more so a symbolic celebration of a commitment that is, or at least should already be well established, in my opinion..
No matter how it's done the end game is the same; A long-lasting and hopefully happy partnership with someone you love and sharing your life with them. It shouldn't matter if it's on paper or not..
not arguing, but what if one partner wants marriage and the other doesn't? if both don't need marriage then it does not matter.
click to expand
Expectations are the problem. You have to be open and honest, with yourself as well as the other person. If what they tell you isn't what you wanted to hear, you have 2 choices. move on and find someone with the same goals and values, or accept it and move forward without expectations or complaints. Doing otherwise just makes both people miserable.
Posted by puhleezepoor Aidan...
interesting aidan wants marriage, carrie doesn't think they need it.
he still stayed with her too long, even though deep down she didn't want marriage, hoping she'd change her mind.
her heart was just too much on someone else.
Posted by Gennie
@crabra
Very well put. It's important to note that at some point in your commitment, you won't be the same person you were at the beginning. And neither is your partner, after all who can predict the weather. A lot of people get married thinking that everything that went before was the hard stuff, and yet life has not even begun to test you.
All the more reason to wait before getting married. I get what you're saying, and no matter how much time is spent together, a person can still change after getting married. There are never any guarantees, but you can sure swing the odds in your favor instead of against.
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