LuckyLibra7
@LuckyLibra7
2 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 393 ¡ Posts: 748 ¡ Topics: 14
Fight The Grass is Greener Syndrome
It's Spring and people want new and exciting lovers.
Posted by DonnaLibra
It's Spring and people want new and exciting lovers.
I thought that was during the Summer? đ¤Ł. The whole cycle of desiring to be single when it's nice out and coupled up when it's cold.
This is why I prefer being single. I've known a couple of women who would still go out with guys despite being in a relationship. And I can't even count the number of men who are "happily committed" yet would DM me trying to flirt and boost their ego. I'm just laughing at them posting pics and pretending to be so happy and faithful.
Posted by Mutya
This is why I prefer being single. I've known a couple of women who would still go out with guys despite being in a relationship. And I can't even count the number of men who are "happily committed" yet would DM me trying to flirt and boost their ego. I'm just laughing at them posting pics and pretending to be so happy and faithful.
It spills over into so many things. Whether it's a career, where you live or just a relationship. A lot of people always have one foot out the door.
Forever chasing rainbows.
Posted by LuckyLibra7
Lately, I have noticed among peers and just in the general dating world, people are experiencing "grass is greener syndrome" now more than ever.
If you are in a shitty relationship or you're being abused, then by all means leave. This is regarding people who have met someone decent, boxes are checked off, yet they feel something is missing or that they can find more excitement. Due to dating apps, people now feel like they have endless options and that is not reality. Your values, beliefs, chart and communication style will not match everyone.
Excitement will fade often after the Honey-Moon Phase and Love fluctuates in intensity over time. But remember to always water your grass and not leave it unattended. People often pack their things and go over to the other side, only to not water that grass as well.
dude, i agree with you so much. i feel like we're becoming this instant gratification culture (with everything being so readily available/accessible to us) that we're becoming so impatient.
people would rather replace then repair. move onto the next rather than put in some work.
and like you said, social media definitely makes it seem like we all have these endless options but that's just your mind playing tricks on you and your ego trying to delude you. the truth is, deep meaningful connections with people don't happen that often and we should cherish these rare occurrences more.
also, we shouldn't just rely on other people to bring excitement to our lives. like, don't be sitting around like a bump on a log, waiting to be entertained.
be the one who brings the excitement, the inspiration, the adventure, the meaningful conversations that matter (kinda like what you're doing right now lol) etc.
i see too many people complaining about how someone they're dating is "boring" but i wanna ask them "how exciting are YOU though?" lol you don't have to be the court jester but bring some form of entertainment for your partner. lol
if people kept leaving relationships as soon as the honeymoon phase was over, we would all be single as fuck forever lol đ (hell, i'd be single af too right now if that was the case)
Posted by MonaLisa26
You talking grass is greenerâŚ
Seems lately most people looking for âsomeâ grassâŚwhatever grassâŚjust A GrassâŚđ¤ˇââď¸
ahhh i suppose it varies. If you're at least average looking and have okay social skills, I don't understand the obstacles of meeting people.
The issues seem to pour in with those that have poor judgement, work excessive hours, fail to socialize often and rely primarily on dating apps.
Hell, I've ran into quite a few people who act as if they can't even talk on the phone before meeting.
Posted by serenidadPosted by LuckyLibra7
Lately, I have noticed among peers and just in the general dating world, people are experiencing "grass is greener syndrome" now more than ever.
If you are in a shitty relationship or you're being abused, then by all means leave. This is regarding people who have met someone decent, boxes are checked off, yet they feel something is missing or that they can find more excitement. Due to dating apps, people now feel like they have endless options and that is not reality. Your values, beliefs, chart and communication style will not match everyone.
Excitement will fade often after the Honey-Moon Phase and Love fluctuates in intensity over time. But remember to always water your grass and not leave it unattended. People often pack their things and go over to the other side, only to not water that grass as well.
dude, i agree with you so much. i feel like we're becoming this instant gratification culture (with everything being so readily available/accessible to us) that we're becoming so impatient.
people would rather replace then repair. move onto the next rather than put in some work.
and like you said, social media definitely makes it seem like we all have these endless options but that's just your mind playing tricks on you and your ego trying to delude you. the truth is, deep meaningful connections with people don't happen that often and we should cherish these rare occurrences more.
also, we shouldn't just rely on other people to bring excitement to our lives. like, don't be sitting around like a bump on a log, waiting to be entertained.
be the one who brings the excitement, the inspiration, the adventure, the meaningful conversations that matter (kinda like what you're doing right now lol) etc.
i see too many people complaining about how someone they're dating is "boring" but i wanna ask them "how exciting are YOU though?" lol you don't have to be the court jester but bring some form of entertainment for your partner. lol
if people kept leaving relationships as soon as the honeymoon phase was over, we would all be single as fuck forever lol đ (hell, i'd be single af too right now if that was the case)
click to expand
Yup, people have been misguided and feel every waking moment of their life should be an exciting highlight reel. It's actually called the Hedonistic Treadmill Theory. A metaphor basically where you're constantly in pursuit of pleasure or the need to feel good all the time.
Think about all the people you know who take a vacation every month or constantly switch jobs and areas they live in. There's so many people in my area alone who have lived in several different states within the past couple years off whims. No plans, just "I wanna move here" and once they're bored, they move on.
A complete lack of stability and it's chaotic. I'm all for vacations, moving and progressing onto better things, but there needs to be a purpose or goal here. Pleasure can't be the source because it naturally fluctuates.
As a Venus crappy and sag sun, I do love the NEW of life and I want to make sure I have the best of the best.
Which is why I take my time with men because I wanna make super sure I got the best one and wonât feel the red shiny ball syndrome or grass is greener syndrome.
Imagine being with the loser of the group.
Not me
I have to be with someone who constantly presents themselves as FOMO. Something I cannot miss out on.
Which is why I take my time with men because I wanna make super sure I got the best one and wonât feel the red shiny ball syndrome or grass is greener syndrome.
Imagine being with the loser of the group.
Not me
I have to be with someone who constantly presents themselves as FOMO. Something I cannot miss out on.
True the grass is greener where you water it
But people also evolve, change, grow apart and the world is too vast with too many people to be miserable with 1 of them forever
-Venus Gemini
But people also evolve, change, grow apart and the world is too vast with too many people to be miserable with 1 of them forever
-Venus Gemini
Posted by StubbornSagittarius
Well sometimes you really have nothing left to water. It's a complicated thing to give solid advice that could possibly apply to everyone. I was never unable to reignite passion or relive love that faded away over time. This is why I simply can't understand how is someone able to get back together with someone they were with like 10 years or so. I don't have that kind of attachment to people. Never had, never will. When I'm done, I'm done for good. And yes it might be false expectation of grass is greener but at least you tried to do something instead of beating dead horse
So true.
Once my partner chooses to obsess over something other than meâŚ
the feeling is never the same.
Even if they come back and try it again, I always remember how easily it was for this person to discard our connection, discard me. I canât rejuvenate the connection. Once someone walks away, they have to stay away.
How Ben affleck and JLo got back together idk.
Posted by DMV
As a Venus crappy and sag sun, I do love the NEW of life and I want to make sure I have the best of the best.
Which is why I take my time with men because I wanna make super sure I got the best one and wonât feel the red shiny ball syndrome or grass is greener syndrome.
Imagine being with the loser of the group.
Not me
I have to be with someone who constantly presents themselves as FOMO. Something I cannot miss out on.
I think "loser" is a broad term and means different things to different people.
But the question here is, has any man met this criteria you have laid out?
Posted by StubbornSagittarius
Well sometimes you really have nothing left to water. It's a complicated thing to give solid advice that could possibly apply to everyone. I was never unable to reignite passion or relive love that faded away over time. This is why I simply can't understand how is someone able to get back together with someone they were with like 10 years or so. I don't have that kind of attachment to people. Never had, never will. When I'm done, I'm done for good. And yes it might be false expectation of grass is greener but at least you tried to do something instead of beating dead horse
A relationship requires maintenance and both people must participate. If a person chooses not to water, or simply leaves there's nothing you can do. I'm more so talking about people who consistently have one foot out of the door and seem to have this idea that more is always out there. Meanwhile, they have someone with decent values and background. They're not watering their grass in hopes that come across another lawn that's already sparkling.
This also applies to people who think a partner is a court jester. "You're not entertaining me.. I'm bored!"
Posted by LuckyLibra7Posted by DMV
As a Venus crappy and sag sun, I do love the NEW of life and I want to make sure I have the best of the best.
Which is why I take my time with men because I wanna make super sure I got the best one and wonât feel the red shiny ball syndrome or grass is greener syndrome.
Imagine being with the loser of the group.
Not me
I have to be with someone who constantly presents themselves as FOMO. Something I cannot miss out on.
I think "loser" is a broad term and means different things to different people.
But the question here is, has any man met this criteria you have laid out?click to expand
Cmon, you know who the loser of your crew is.
Everyone knows who the lagger is âŚ
Nope, not yet. A few million more to meet tho.
I feel fortunate that I havenât subjected any man to be my space saver. Iâm not trash.
Youâre welcome đ
most people think that loyalty operates on some kinda virtue. but far as i recall, mine runs from sheer contempt, paranoia and resistance. tho i wasn't always like this, just started after i got out of a bad relationship. there'd be guys who'd ask me stuff like: "how many siblings you got?" and i just feel this weird surge of irrational anger like it felt fake, like we're gonna go through the motions of introducing each other to family yet it'll all just be a waste of time. it felt malicious to me.
but then i met someone, tried to break up with him at least once every month for like half the year. then i stopped coz i sense absolutely no malice. i figured it's a genuine bid to connect. come to think of it, out of all my relationships i feel like this one feels the least malicious lol i'm not even gonna explain that.
but then i met someone, tried to break up with him at least once every month for like half the year. then i stopped coz i sense absolutely no malice. i figured it's a genuine bid to connect. come to think of it, out of all my relationships i feel like this one feels the least malicious lol i'm not even gonna explain that.
The Ads on this post are funny!
Posted by virgoOPPP
most people think that loyalty operates on some kinda virtue. but far as i recall, mine runs from sheer contempt, paranoia and resistance. tho i wasn't always like this, just started after i got out of a bad relationship. there'd be guys who'd ask me sttuf like: "how many siblings you got?" and i just feel this weird surge of irrational anger like it felt fake, like we're gonna go through the motions of introducing each other to family yet it'll all just be a waste of time. it felt malicious to me.
but then i met someone, tried to break up with him at least once every month for like half the year. then i stopped coz i sense absolutely no malice. i figured it's a genuine bid to connect. come to think of it, out of all my relationships i feel like this one feels the least malicious lol i'm not even gonna explain that.
This sounds more like self-sabotage and putting a guard up because you don't trust the other person. But glad it worked out for you!
Posted by DMVPosted by LuckyLibra7Posted by DMVI think "loser" is a broad term and means different things to different people.
As a Venus crappy and sag sun, I do love the NEW of life and I want to make sure I have the best of the best.
Which is why I take my time with men because I wanna make super sure I got the best one and wonât feel the red shiny ball syndrome or grass is greener syndrome.
Imagine being with the loser of the group.
Not me
I have to be with someone who constantly presents themselves as FOMO. Something I cannot miss out on.
But the question here is, has any man met this criteria you have laid out?
click to expand
Cmon, you know who the loser of your crew is.
Everyone knows who the lagger is âŚ
Nope, not yet. A few million more to meet tho.
I feel fortunate that I havenât subjected any man to be my space saver. Iâm not trash.
Youâre welcome đ
click to expand
Of course.. but ironically, the loser has a history of somewhat stable relationships lol. However, his current GF is also a loser. They're not terrible people though.
Grass is greener syndrome = avoidant attachment style
Typically caused by lack of compassion, affection from caregivers who were emotionally immature or also had an avoidant attachment style .
These people tend to feel that their relationships quickly become too real, too emotional and too close and they seek outside stimulus and create problems that lead to conflicts in relationships, and they then use those problems to morally cheat or manipulate their relationships. Successfully planting the foundation to look elsewhere = grass is greener
Majority of us right now are millennials and Gen x, who had boomer parents that are notorious for having avoidant attachment issues towards their children and often neglected their children as latch key children.
Itâs why we have these issues today.
Take your as to therapy and do the work to make this stop at our generation. Itâs worth understanding yourself and working on your insecurities and how you can make your life better with the people you love.
Typically caused by lack of compassion, affection from caregivers who were emotionally immature or also had an avoidant attachment style .
These people tend to feel that their relationships quickly become too real, too emotional and too close and they seek outside stimulus and create problems that lead to conflicts in relationships, and they then use those problems to morally cheat or manipulate their relationships. Successfully planting the foundation to look elsewhere = grass is greener
Majority of us right now are millennials and Gen x, who had boomer parents that are notorious for having avoidant attachment issues towards their children and often neglected their children as latch key children.
Itâs why we have these issues today.
Take your as to therapy and do the work to make this stop at our generation. Itâs worth understanding yourself and working on your insecurities and how you can make your life better with the people you love.
Posted by Rimzy
Grass is greener syndrome = avoidant attachment style
Typically caused by lack of compassion, affection from caregivers who were emotionally immature or also had an avoidant attachment style .
These people tend to feel that their relationships quickly become too real, too emotional and too close and they seek outside stimulus and create problems that lead to conflicts in relationships, and they then use those problems to morally cheat or manipulate their relationships. Successfully planting the foundation to look elsewhere = grass is greener
Majority of us right now are millennials and Gen x, who had boomer parents that are notorious for having avoidant attachment issues towards their children and often neglected their children as latch key children.
Itâs why we have these issues today.
Take your as to therapy and do the work to make this stop at our generation. Itâs worth understanding yourself and working on your insecurities and how you can make your life better with the people you love.
So how did the Baby Boomers develop this style or cause it? From the previous generation who participated in WWII?
Or are we tying this into when Corporate America started booming (1960s-80s) and the ideal family model began to be phased out.
Itâs not just the âgrass is greenerâ complex. The problem lies is lack of self-awareness and borderline delusional.
I call dating apps karma or a wringer. The more unrealistic your expectations, antiquated your beliefs (and youâre not adjusting them with reality or present times), delusional you are about yourself and what you deserve, the longer you will stay on the dating app or go back to it.
For example, I make sure to groom well when I take pics, stay fit, healthy and watch my diet because itâs important for me to look and feel good. Similarly, I want a guy who is fit and healthy also has made an effort to groom before taking a pic that is going on a dating app. Am I entitled to expect that? No. Itâs fair. However, when I see fat guys or men who didnât make any effort to brush their hair or taking a pic from their bed sending me likes or messaging me, Iâm sitting there thinking âyouâre gonna sit on this app for a while. Just swiping on me tellls me how warped your expectations are or how entitled you are.â Why the hell would I ever consider you? I show these men to my brothers and guy friends and they cringe too at how delusional people are about what they can get or want.
I have an overweight friend who is eagerly losing weight right now before getting on a dating app because she says âhow the hell would I swipe right on a fit attractive guy when Iâm not fit myself.â See! Thatâs good thinking!
I call dating apps karma or a wringer. The more unrealistic your expectations, antiquated your beliefs (and youâre not adjusting them with reality or present times), delusional you are about yourself and what you deserve, the longer you will stay on the dating app or go back to it.
For example, I make sure to groom well when I take pics, stay fit, healthy and watch my diet because itâs important for me to look and feel good. Similarly, I want a guy who is fit and healthy also has made an effort to groom before taking a pic that is going on a dating app. Am I entitled to expect that? No. Itâs fair. However, when I see fat guys or men who didnât make any effort to brush their hair or taking a pic from their bed sending me likes or messaging me, Iâm sitting there thinking âyouâre gonna sit on this app for a while. Just swiping on me tellls me how warped your expectations are or how entitled you are.â Why the hell would I ever consider you? I show these men to my brothers and guy friends and they cringe too at how delusional people are about what they can get or want.
I have an overweight friend who is eagerly losing weight right now before getting on a dating app because she says âhow the hell would I swipe right on a fit attractive guy when Iâm not fit myself.â See! Thatâs good thinking!
I'm in my late 30s and male. I have no interest in competing for attention on a superficial level to date random woman.
I don't have time nor the desire to go trying on new pants. I know what I'm looking for and need in a s/o. I know them when I see them and of our comparability and dynamic to a high degree...with just a few intimate conversations. I get more from talking to and reading people this way too. A LOT of our communication is non-verbal.
In fact, I got more from having decent friendships and hanging out with woman then actually dating them. With the pressure off, you see and understand people better.
This is the flaw in fast food dating. It's zero investment. You don't get that experience swiping and going on just a few quick dates. Takes time.
The way people date now is similar to how it has always been...but it's more open and in your face with media plastering it on screen, and I mean all of it. So a lot of the contraversy is actually just hype.
The only real difference is lack of investment in getting to know people. This frame work is robbing them of important relationship problem solving skills and how to maintain a long term relationships. When the next person is a swipe, bar, or text away there isn't much call for real investment.
This new generation's 30s is going to be suuuper messy. That's at a time in life were you need to have a decent understanding of yourself, what you want/need, and how to have a healthy committed romantic relationship. That's what went wrong in my 20s. I didn't invest into anyone not even friendships.
Not experiencing long term relationships cost me dearly. They are a different skill set. That's a mistake I see being repeated here on a large scale. Lack of investment into relationships.
People naturally grow and change over time. Knowing how to maintain a relationship you really want with this aspect of people, is a big deal.
Lol it's not the end of the world though.
This new way of "dating" will have a interesting effect on our society. It does have the potential to loosen up social structures in a good way.
Lol It will put a lot behind, work great for some and a train wreck experience for others.
BUT it will be fine. We will adapt in a positive manner eventually.
There will be room for every style of relationship without the rigged structure of the past.
So long as people are true to themselves rather then social expectations, they will find their way.
I'll continue to wait for my person.
I don't have time nor the desire to go trying on new pants. I know what I'm looking for and need in a s/o. I know them when I see them and of our comparability and dynamic to a high degree...with just a few intimate conversations. I get more from talking to and reading people this way too. A LOT of our communication is non-verbal.
In fact, I got more from having decent friendships and hanging out with woman then actually dating them. With the pressure off, you see and understand people better.
This is the flaw in fast food dating. It's zero investment. You don't get that experience swiping and going on just a few quick dates. Takes time.
The way people date now is similar to how it has always been...but it's more open and in your face with media plastering it on screen, and I mean all of it. So a lot of the contraversy is actually just hype.
The only real difference is lack of investment in getting to know people. This frame work is robbing them of important relationship problem solving skills and how to maintain a long term relationships. When the next person is a swipe, bar, or text away there isn't much call for real investment.
This new generation's 30s is going to be suuuper messy. That's at a time in life were you need to have a decent understanding of yourself, what you want/need, and how to have a healthy committed romantic relationship. That's what went wrong in my 20s. I didn't invest into anyone not even friendships.
Not experiencing long term relationships cost me dearly. They are a different skill set. That's a mistake I see being repeated here on a large scale. Lack of investment into relationships.
People naturally grow and change over time. Knowing how to maintain a relationship you really want with this aspect of people, is a big deal.
Lol it's not the end of the world though.
This new way of "dating" will have a interesting effect on our society. It does have the potential to loosen up social structures in a good way.
Lol It will put a lot behind, work great for some and a train wreck experience for others.
BUT it will be fine. We will adapt in a positive manner eventually.
There will be room for every style of relationship without the rigged structure of the past.
So long as people are true to themselves rather then social expectations, they will find their way.
I'll continue to wait for my person.
Posted by aquarius09
Itâs not just the âgrass is greenerâ complex. The problem lies is lack of self-awareness and borderline delusional.
I call dating apps karma or a wringer. The more unrealistic your expectations, antiquated your beliefs (and youâre not adjusting them with reality or present times), delusional you are about yourself and what you deserve, the longer you will stay on the dating app or go back to it.
For example, I make sure to groom well when I take pics, stay fit, healthy and watch my diet because itâs important for me to look and feel good. Similarly, I want a guy who is fit and healthy also has made an effort to groom before taking a pic that is going on a dating app. Am I entitled to expect that? No. Itâs fair. However, when I see fat guys or men who didnât make any effort to brush their hair or taking a pic from their bed sending me likes or messaging me, Iâm sitting there thinking âyouâre gonna sit on this app for a while. Just swiping on me tellls me how warped your expectations are or how entitled you are.â Why the hell would I ever consider you? I show these men to my brothers and guy friends and they cringe too at how delusional people are about what they can get or want.
I have an overweight friend who is eagerly losing weight right now before getting on a dating app because she says âhow the hell would I swipe right on a fit attractive guy when Iâm not fit myself.â See! Thatâs good thinking!
Well, in general dating apps are a mess. Obviously there will be profiles that don't have any effort, but we're still not getting to the fine print.
There seems to be miscommunication with what people are looking for:
â Tall
â Funny
â Decent Job
â Travels
This isn't difficult criteria to meet for men & women, yet so many people endlessly swipe and can't settle. The frustration for people kicks in when they feel they meet those categories, and then it fizzles out after 2-3 dates. Now, the person becomes bitter because they can't grasp why the other person isn't interested.
Rinse & Repeat this a few times, and now the person has created a wall and facilitates an interview to figure out if you're wasting their time.
Have you been to therapy?
What are you looking for on here?
How many children do you want?
What's your red flag?
Are you submissive?
Do you know how to cook?
Why don't you have a dog?
Some are legitimate questions, but it turns into an interview. Analyzing for an issue..
Posted by slug
I have a Taurus Venus, I find safety in the mundane đ I just add more blankets and take a nap.
But I watch this happen all the time with friends and it looks exhausting, they seem to like the excitement of dating but once the dating phase is over they skip town. I often wonder if they're happy doing that, because some of them genuinely seem to be living their best life.
Wow, so much intelligent input, i have nothing insigthful to add. Your post makes me think that a fellow taurus woman who likes "boring" and "familiar" may be the answer to the problem. I wouldnt mind that at all.
In fact I like that. I wont even try online dating, it can reinforce toxic patterns pretty quickly. Like my needy friend who constantly falls for young guys
out of her league who end up cheating on her and she cant bring herself to stop texting them.
The algorithm only reinforces her dating the toxic type. Ive read in some flirtbook that you are better off making yourself attractive and becoming the winner/cool guy/alpha not the looser of a niche/subculture because woman feel safer when they date somebody who is known and accepted by their social circle. But who am i kidding, i am a lazy proctrastinating taurus.
But still i like the idea of just naturally attracting great woman just by clicking with them, have a laugh with them rather than putting the stress and uncertainty that comes with dating app on you.
Posted by StubbornSagittariusPosted by LuckyLibra7Posted by StubbornSagittariusA relationship requires maintenance and both people must participate. If a person chooses not to water, or simply leaves there's nothing you can do. I'm more so talking about people who consistently have one foot out of the door and seem to have this idea that more is always out there. Meanwhile, they have someone with decent values and background. They're not watering their grass in hopes that come across another lawn that's already sparkling.
Well sometimes you really have nothing left to water. It's a complicated thing to give solid advice that could possibly apply to everyone. I was never unable to reignite passion or relive love that faded away over time. This is why I simply can't understand how is someone able to get back together with someone they were with like 10 years or so. I don't have that kind of attachment to people. Never had, never will. When I'm done, I'm done for good. And yes it might be false expectation of grass is greener but at least you tried to do something instead of beating dead horse
This also applies to people who think a partner is a court jester. "You're not entertaining me.. I'm bored!"
click to expand
How can you water it when it's dead? What's the point in staying with someone no matter how great qualities they may have when you no longer love them or you're bored. And yes people can get bored. Even if you really are their jester, they can still get bored. I thought it's not possible before. But I'm bored to death. I fell out of love. I don't see that same person same way I used to see them. How can grass not be greener elsewhere then? We're not born to be monogamous, despite how much some try to push that concept on everyone. I completely understand the story behind it though, I understand why it was invented in the first place, I understand some people do love one person their entire life...but we're all different people. One can't expect everyone on this planet to act the same way about anything at all. Not a single topic would make every single person act the same way.
Long story short - grass is greener is a concept that starts when a person is bored/fell out of love/lost interest for a person they are with/has no respect for them anymore etc. Many other situations may lead to that situationclick to expand
is this a view you've always held? or are you jaded and refuse to experience watering a dead lawn again.
Posted by Rimzy
Grass is greener syndrome = avoidant attachment style
Typically caused by lack of compassion, affection from caregivers who were emotionally immature or also had an avoidant attachment style .
These people tend to feel that their relationships quickly become too real, too emotional and too close and they seek outside stimulus and create problems that lead to conflicts in relationships, and they then use those problems to morally cheat or manipulate their relationships. Successfully planting the foundation to look elsewhere = grass is greener
Majority of us right now are millennials and Gen x, who had boomer parents that are notorious for having avoidant attachment issues towards their children and often neglected their children as latch key children.
Itâs why we have these issues today.
Take your as to therapy and do the work to make this stop at our generation. Itâs worth understanding yourself and working on your insecurities and how you can make your life better with the people you love.
I may have to disagree with the part about our parents.
Boomers stayed together.
Whether out of necessity or fear, they stayed together.
Posted by DMVPosted by Rimzy
Grass is greener syndrome = avoidant attachment style
Typically caused by lack of compassion, affection from caregivers who were emotionally immature or also had an avoidant attachment style .
These people tend to feel that their relationships quickly become too real, too emotional and too close and they seek outside stimulus and create problems that lead to conflicts in relationships, and they then use those problems to morally cheat or manipulate their relationships. Successfully planting the foundation to look elsewhere = grass is greener
Majority of us right now are millennials and Gen x, who had boomer parents that are notorious for having avoidant attachment issues towards their children and often neglected their children as latch key children.
Itâs why we have these issues today.
Take your as to therapy and do the work to make this stop at our generation. Itâs worth understanding yourself and working on your insecurities and how you can make your life better with the people you love.
I may have to disagree with the part about our parents.
Boomers stayed together.
Whether out of necessity or fear, they stayed together.
click to expand
Boomers stayed together out of women sacrificing their happiness, safety, and self-respect for financial dependency on men. Now when women donât need to depend on them, the result is in front of you!
Those women who blindly love their men, irrespective of their flaws like abusive, infidelity, , or strongly believe in societal pressures that dictate that âyouâre a loser or nobody if you donât have a manâ stay. That hasnât changed at any point in time and will never change.
Posted by aquarius09Posted by DMVPosted by RimzyI may have to disagree with the part about our parents.
Grass is greener syndrome = avoidant attachment style
Typically caused by lack of compassion, affection from caregivers who were emotionally immature or also had an avoidant attachment style .
These people tend to feel that their relationships quickly become too real, too emotional and too close and they seek outside stimulus and create problems that lead to conflicts in relationships, and they then use those problems to morally cheat or manipulate their relationships. Successfully planting the foundation to look elsewhere = grass is greener
Majority of us right now are millennials and Gen x, who had boomer parents that are notorious for having avoidant attachment issues towards their children and often neglected their children as latch key children.
Itâs why we have these issues today.
Take your as to therapy and do the work to make this stop at our generation. Itâs worth understanding yourself and working on your insecurities and how you can make your life better with the people you love.
Boomers stayed together.
Whether out of necessity or fear, they stayed together.
click to expand
Boomers stayed together out of women sacrificing their happiness, safety, and self-respect for financial dependency on men. Now when women donât need to depend on them, the result is in front of you!
Those women who blindly love their men, irrespective of their flaws like abusive, infidelity, , or strongly believe in societal pressures that dictate that âyouâre a loser or nobody if you donât have a manâ stay. That hasnât changed at any point in time and will never change.click to expand
ahhh, I think it's more complicated than that.
The idea of love has changed a little over the years. Marriage back then was looked at as more of a duty, rather than a highlight of your life or simply being happy. The idea of men being providers and women supporting did not originate with boomers.
Infatuation began to take the lead in relationships slowly as Hollywood began marketing love and Broadway began advertising Diamond's are a woman's bestfriend.
Infidelity has always been an issue and people will always have a wandering eye. But the regard for marriage has changed. Abandonment was less common, and dirt was done in secret. Did you know Swinging originated with the Air Force wives of WWII Pilots? The mortality rate was extremely high. This caused neighbors and members of the community to form a close bond and seek emotional support if their spouse died. In return, swapping spouses became a thing to make sure the wife was looked after.
This again portrays marriage in the light of a duty, rather than the idea of a soul-mate who is your person.
I'm not advocating for this, only showing how relationships have changed over time.
Posted by LuckyLibra7Posted by aquarius09Posted by DMVBoomers stayed together out of women sacrificing their happiness, safety, and self-respect for financial dependency on men. Now when women donât need to depend on them, the result is in front of you!Posted by Rimzy
Grass is greener syndrome = avoidant attachment style
Typically caused by lack of compassion, affection from caregivers who were emotionally immature or also had an avoidant attachment style .
These people tend to feel that their relationships quickly become too real, too emotional and too close and they seek outside stimulus and create problems that lead to conflicts in relationships, and they then use those problems to morally cheat or manipulate their relationships. Successfully planting the foundation to look elsewhere = grass is greener
Majority of us right now are millennials and Gen x, who had boomer parents that are notorious for having avoidant attachment issues towards their children and often neglected their children as latch key children.
Itâs why we have these issues today.
Take your as to therapy and do the work to make this stop at our generation. Itâs worth understanding yourself and working on your insecurities and how you can make your life better with the people you love.
I may have to disagree with the part about our parents.
Boomers stayed together.
Whether out of necessity or fear, they stayed together.
click to expand
Those women who blindly love their men, irrespective of their flaws like abusive, infidelity, , or strongly believe in societal pressures that dictate that âyouâre a loser or nobody if you donât have a manâ stay. That hasnât changed at any point in time and will never change.
click to expand
ahhh, I think it's more complicated than that.
The idea of love has changed a little over the years. Marriage back then was looked at as more of a duty, rather than a highlight of your life or simply being happy. The idea of men being providers and women supporting did not originate with boomers.
Infatuation began to take the lead in relationships slowly as Hollywood began marketing love and Broadway began advertising Diamond's are a woman's bestfriend.
Infidelity has always been an issue and people will always have a wandering eye. But the regard for marriage has changed. Abandonment was less common, and dirt was done in secret. Did you know Swinging originated with the Air Force wives of WWII Pilots? The mortality rate was extremely high. This caused neighbors and members of the community to form a close bond and seek emotional support if their spouse died. In return, swapping spouses became a thing to make sure the wife was looked after.
This again portrays marriage in the light of a duty, rather than the idea of a soul-mate who is your person.
I'm not advocating for this, only showing how relationships have changed over time.click to expand
Good point. I do agree description of what a relationship entails also evolves as time changes.
Posted by aquarius09Posted by LuckyLibra7Posted by aquarius09ahhh, I think it's more complicated than that.Posted by DMVPosted by Rimzy
Grass is greener syndrome = avoidant attachment style
Typically caused by lack of compassion, affection from caregivers who were emotionally immature or also had an avoidant attachment style .
These people tend to feel that their relationships quickly become too real, too emotional and too close and they seek outside stimulus and create problems that lead to conflicts in relationships, and they then use those problems to morally cheat or manipulate their relationships. Successfully planting the foundation to look elsewhere = grass is greener
Majority of us right now are millennials and Gen x, who had boomer parents that are notorious for having avoidant attachment issues towards their children and often neglected their children as latch key children.
Itâs why we have these issues today.
Take your as to therapy and do the work to make this stop at our generation. Itâs worth understanding yourself and working on your insecurities and how you can make your life better with the people you love.
I may have to disagree with the part about our parents.
Boomers stayed together.
Whether out of necessity or fear, they stayed together.
click to expand
Boomers stayed together out of women sacrificing their happiness, safety, and self-respect for financial dependency on men. Now when women donât need to depend on them, the result is in front of you!
Those women who blindly love their men, irrespective of their flaws like abusive, infidelity, , or strongly believe in societal pressures that dictate that âyouâre a loser or nobody if you donât have a manâ stay. That hasnât changed at any point in time and will never change.
click to expand
The idea of love has changed a little over the years. Marriage back then was looked at as more of a duty, rather than a highlight of your life or simply being happy. The idea of men being providers and women supporting did not originate with boomers.
Infatuation began to take the lead in relationships slowly as Hollywood began marketing love and Broadway began advertising Diamond's are a woman's bestfriend.
Infidelity has always been an issue and people will always have a wandering eye. But the regard for marriage has changed. Abandonment was less common, and dirt was done in secret. Did you know Swinging originated with the Air Force wives of WWII Pilots? The mortality rate was extremely high. This caused neighbors and members of the community to form a close bond and seek emotional support if their spouse died. In return, swapping spouses became a thing to make sure the wife was looked after.
This again portrays marriage in the light of a duty, rather than the idea of a soul-mate who is your person.
I'm not advocating for this, only showing how relationships have changed over time.
click to expand
Good point. I do agree description of what a relationship entails also evolves as time changes.click to expand
Rom-Coms, Chick flicks, The Bachelor & other dating shows, Romance novels, fancy wedding rings, Dating apps, Dating coaches...
A billion-dollar industry all built on finding true love!
and they say sex sells! HA.
Posted by LuckyLibra7Posted by aquarius09Posted by LuckyLibra7Good point. I do agree description of what a relationship entails also evolves as time changes.Posted by aquarius09Posted by DMVPosted by Rimzy
Grass is greener syndrome = avoidant attachment style
Typically caused by lack of compassion, affection from caregivers who were emotionally immature or also had an avoidant attachment style .
These people tend to feel that their relationships quickly become too real, too emotional and too close and they seek outside stimulus and create problems that lead to conflicts in relationships, and they then use those problems to morally cheat or manipulate their relationships. Successfully planting the foundation to look elsewhere = grass is greener
Majority of us right now are millennials and Gen x, who had boomer parents that are notorious for having avoidant attachment issues towards their children and often neglected their children as latch key children.
Itâs why we have these issues today.
Take your as to therapy and do the work to make this stop at our generation. Itâs worth understanding yourself and working on your insecurities and how you can make your life better with the people you love.
I may have to disagree with the part about our parents.
Boomers stayed together.
Whether out of necessity or fear, they stayed together.
click to expand
Boomers stayed together out of women sacrificing their happiness, safety, and self-respect for financial dependency on men. Now when women donât need to depend on them, the result is in front of you!
Those women who blindly love their men, irrespective of their flaws like abusive, infidelity, , or strongly believe in societal pressures that dictate that âyouâre a loser or nobody if you donât have a manâ stay. That hasnât changed at any point in time and will never change.
click to expand
ahhh, I think it's more complicated than that.
The idea of love has changed a little over the years. Marriage back then was looked at as more of a duty, rather than a highlight of your life or simply being happy. The idea of men being providers and women supporting did not originate with boomers.
Infatuation began to take the lead in relationships slowly as Hollywood began marketing love and Broadway began advertising Diamond's are a woman's bestfriend.
Infidelity has always been an issue and people will always have a wandering eye. But the regard for marriage has changed. Abandonment was less common, and dirt was done in secret. Did you know Swinging originated with the Air Force wives of WWII Pilots? The mortality rate was extremely high. This caused neighbors and members of the community to form a close bond and seek emotional support if their spouse died. In return, swapping spouses became a thing to make sure the wife was looked after.
This again portrays marriage in the light of a duty, rather than the idea of a soul-mate who is your person.
I'm not advocating for this, only showing how relationships have changed over time.
click to expand
click to expand
Rom-Coms, Chick flicks, The Bachelor & other dating shows, Romance novels, fancy wedding rings, Dating apps, Dating coaches...
A billion-dollar industry all built on finding true love!
and they say sex sells! HA.click to expand
True love can only be built on true friendship. Lol. Said like a true Venus in Aqua
Posted by aquarius09Posted by LuckyLibra7Posted by aquarius09Rom-Coms, Chick flicks, The Bachelor & other dating shows, Romance novels, fancy wedding rings, Dating apps, Dating coaches...Posted by LuckyLibra7Posted by aquarius09Posted by DMVPosted by Rimzy
Grass is greener syndrome = avoidant attachment style
Typically caused by lack of compassion, affection from caregivers who were emotionally immature or also had an avoidant attachment style .
These people tend to feel that their relationships quickly become too real, too emotional and too close and they seek outside stimulus and create problems that lead to conflicts in relationships, and they then use those problems to morally cheat or manipulate their relationships. Successfully planting the foundation to look elsewhere = grass is greener
Majority of us right now are millennials and Gen x, who had boomer parents that are notorious for having avoidant attachment issues towards their children and often neglected their children as latch key children.
Itâs why we have these issues today.
Take your as to therapy and do the work to make this stop at our generation. Itâs worth understanding yourself and working on your insecurities and how you can make your life better with the people you love.
I may have to disagree with the part about our parents.
Boomers stayed together.
Whether out of necessity or fear, they stayed together.
click to expand
Boomers stayed together out of women sacrificing their happiness, safety, and self-respect for financial dependency on men. Now when women donât need to depend on them, the result is in front of you!
Those women who blindly love their men, irrespective of their flaws like abusive, infidelity, , or strongly believe in societal pressures that dictate that âyouâre a loser or nobody if you donât have a manâ stay. That hasnât changed at any point in time and will never change.
click to expand
ahhh, I think it's more complicated than that.
The idea of love has changed a little over the years. Marriage back then was looked at as more of a duty, rather than a highlight of your life or simply being happy. The idea of men being providers and women supporting did not originate with boomers.
Infatuation began to take the lead in relationships slowly as Hollywood began marketing love and Broadway began advertising Diamond's are a woman's bestfriend.
Infidelity has always been an issue and people will always have a wandering eye. But the regard for marriage has changed. Abandonment was less common, and dirt was done in secret. Did you know Swinging originated with the Air Force wives of WWII Pilots? The mortality rate was extremely high. This caused neighbors and members of the community to form a close bond and seek emotional support if their spouse died. In return, swapping spouses became a thing to make sure the wife was looked after.
This again portrays marriage in the light of a duty, rather than the idea of a soul-mate who is your person.
I'm not advocating for this, only showing how relationships have changed over time.
click to expand
Good point. I do agree description of what a relationship entails also evolves as time changes.
click to expand
A billion-dollar industry all built on finding true love!
and they say sex sells! HA.
click to expand
True love can only be built on true friendship. Lol. Said like a true Venus in Aqua
click to expand
You know, I'd be interested to see a comparison of of all the Venuses. Particularly Aqua in Venus and Virgo since they're the pickiest. I'd be curious to see if Aqua in Venus has more success with relationships overall since the friendship element is required.
sounds like FOMO too
I came from a long relationship and still find that most people don't have a clue how to get and stay in a relationship. Most of the men on dating apps that I have met have never had a successful relationship past 2-3 years and this is in the 35-45 male range.
They tell men to be free and get as much pussy as you like and then reprogram yourself to settle down later and get a wife and start a family. Sometimes men can do this, and sometimes men can't.
Also when finding "your person" They don't have to necessarily check off ALL your boxes, just enough of them to be a relief and to seem more regular or normal then the previous dates you've been on. Basically someone you're ok with settling for.
What works in a marriage and relationships is having low expectations lol
People with high expectations are the ones who are single and constantly swiping.
They tell men to be free and get as much pussy as you like and then reprogram yourself to settle down later and get a wife and start a family. Sometimes men can do this, and sometimes men can't.
Also when finding "your person" They don't have to necessarily check off ALL your boxes, just enough of them to be a relief and to seem more regular or normal then the previous dates you've been on. Basically someone you're ok with settling for.
What works in a marriage and relationships is having low expectations lol
People with high expectations are the ones who are single and constantly swiping.
Pretty much. Though I will say, sometimes it takes a saint to work it out with someone. Also, living together and spending THAT much time together will surely eat away at a relationship, from personal experience. And some people are resistant to change, no matter what it is you ask of them. I've heard from a relationship expert that you seek in a partner what a village used to provide you and I think there's some truth to that.
Posted by LuckyLibra7Posted by serenidadPosted by LuckyLibra7dude, i agree with you so much. i feel like we're becoming this instant gratification culture (with everything being so readily available/accessible to us) that we're becoming so impatient.
Lately, I have noticed among peers and just in the general dating world, people are experiencing "grass is greener syndrome" now more than ever.
If you are in a shitty relationship or you're being abused, then by all means leave. This is regarding people who have met someone decent, boxes are checked off, yet they feel something is missing or that they can find more excitement. Due to dating apps, people now feel like they have endless options and that is not reality. Your values, beliefs, chart and communication style will not match everyone.
Excitement will fade often after the Honey-Moon Phase and Love fluctuates in intensity over time. But remember to always water your grass and not leave it unattended. People often pack their things and go over to the other side, only to not water that grass as well.
people would rather replace then repair. move onto the next rather than put in some work.
and like you said, social media definitely makes it seem like we all have these endless options but that's just your mind playing tricks on you and your ego trying to delude you. the truth is, deep meaningful connections with people don't happen that often and we should cherish these rare occurrences more.
also, we shouldn't just rely on other people to bring excitement to our lives. like, don't be sitting around like a bump on a log, waiting to be entertained.
be the one who brings the excitement, the inspiration, the adventure, the meaningful conversations that matter (kinda like what you're doing right now lol) etc.
i see too many people complaining about how someone they're dating is "boring" but i wanna ask them "how exciting are YOU though?" lol you don't have to be the court jester but bring some form of entertainment for your partner. lol
if people kept leaving relationships as soon as the honeymoon phase was over, we would all be single as fuck forever lol đ (hell, i'd be single af too right now if that was the case)
click to expand
Yup, people have been misguided and feel every waking moment of their life should be an exciting highlight reel. It's actually called the Hedonistic Treadmill Theory. A metaphor basically where you're constantly in pursuit of pleasure or the need to feel good all the time.
Think about all the people you know who take a vacation every month or constantly switch jobs and areas they live in. There's so many people in my area alone who have lived in several different states within the past couple years off whims. No plans, just "I wanna move here" and once they're bored, they move on.
A complete lack of stability and it's chaotic. I'm all for vacations, moving and progressing onto better things, but there needs to be a purpose or goal here. Pleasure can't be the source because it naturally fluctuates.click to expand
âYup, people have been misguided and feel every waking moment of their life should be an exciting highlight reel. It's actually called the Hedonistic Treadmill Theory. A metaphor basically where you're constantly in pursuit of pleasure or the need to feel good all the time. â
yeah, that seems to be the issue with most people who canât keep a relationship. they go into one with sky high expectations thinking itâs gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. (in love with love).
the person youâre with is a living, breathing human being.
of course theyâre gonna come with a full range of emotions, be in a bad mood once in a while, get sad, get angry, disagree with you on some things, require things from you, be unstable at times etc
and none of this should be surprising to anyone.
but in order for any relationship to work long term, there needs be a feeling of camaraderie for sure. a feeling of âweâre both in this togetherâ.
meaning one person shouldnât be the only one putting in effort.
Posted by saggurl88
I came from a long relationship and still find that most people don't have a clue how to get and stay in a relationship. Most of the men on dating apps that I have met have never had a successful relationship past 2-3 years and this is in the 35-45 male range.
They tell men to be free and get as much pussy as you like and then reprogram yourself to settle down later and get a wife and start a family. Sometimes men can do this, and sometimes men can't.
Also when finding "your person" They don't have to necessarily check off ALL your boxes, just enough of them to be a relief and to seem more regular or normal then the previous dates you've been on. Basically someone you're ok with settling for.
What works in a marriage and relationships is having low expectations lol
People with high expectations are the ones who are single and constantly swiping.
i used to volunteer in a senior home when i was a teen and there was a guy who bragged to me that he used to be a heartbreaker/a ladies man. he told me he regretted many of the decisions he made because now heâs alone. iâm not saying this always happens to people who treat others like crap but itâs a possibilityâŚ:/
i mean, we could treat people good and still end up alone but at least we wonât have ourselves to blame, right? :/
Posted by LuckyLibra7
Lately, I have noticed among peers and just in the general dating world, people are experiencing "grass is greener syndrome" now more than ever.
If you are in a shitty relationship or you're being abused, then by all means leave. This is regarding people who have met someone decent, boxes are checked off, yet they feel something is missing or that they can find more excitement. Due to dating apps, people now feel like they have endless options and that is not reality. Your values, beliefs, chart and communication style will not match everyone.
Excitement will fade often after the Honey-Moon Phase and Love fluctuates in intensity over time. But remember to always water your grass and not leave it unattended. People often pack their things and go over to the other side, only to not water that grass as well.
Lol I indeed feel called out in the last paragraph. Since being in my first ever serious long term relationship, I had no idea this is what it feels like coming out of the honeymoon phase :') is there any way to revive that honeymoon feeling?
I do feel pretty neglected at the moment, compared to the courtship phase my Scorpio and I had. He says he's been like this because of stress etc. but I feel neglected
That's why I like to be alone. No one can hold me back in any way, or set me back in my progression. Dating in general is a risk, and mostly a waste of time imo. Most people just settle, and are truly unhappy/ not satisfied. A smaller amount are only in it due to toxicity/ abuse. An even smaller amount simply got lucky, and found their perfect mate before life made them fucked up or hollow.
Posted by saggurl88
I came from a long relationship and still find that most people don't have a clue how to get and stay in a relationship. Most of the men on dating apps that I have met have never had a successful relationship past 2-3 years and this is in the 35-45 male range.
They tell men to be free and get as much pussy as you like and then reprogram yourself to settle down later and get a wife and start a family. Sometimes men can do this, and sometimes men can't.
Also when finding "your person" They don't have to necessarily check off ALL your boxes, just enough of them to be a relief and to seem more regular or normal then the previous dates you've been on. Basically someone you're ok with settling for.
What works in a marriage and relationships is having low expectations lol
People with high expectations are the ones who are single and constantly swiping.
Lmao this is wild as hell, but it's become the new thing.
I don't think the issue is men being programmed to run through women, that depends on your audience. The issue is people do not know what a healthy relationship model looks like.
If we remove the honey-moon phase and love-bombing aspects, how many healthy couples do you see? People who legitimately enjoy each other, give space and are flexible?
There's tons of advice out here about what men & women need to do during dating, but none of these dating coaches are married.
Why is a dating coach that's been married 3 times, telling me what I need to do in a relationship?
People that aren't good examples seemed to have been given platforms. Not to mention the comparison and obession with celebrity relationships which fail quickly and often.
Posted by allrounderPosted by LuckyLibra7
Lately, I have noticed among peers and just in the general dating world, people are experiencing "grass is greener syndrome" now more than ever.
If you are in a shitty relationship or you're being abused, then by all means leave. This is regarding people who have met someone decent, boxes are checked off, yet they feel something is missing or that they can find more excitement. Due to dating apps, people now feel like they have endless options and that is not reality. Your values, beliefs, chart and communication style will not match everyone.
Excitement will fade often after the Honey-Moon Phase and Love fluctuates in intensity over time. But remember to always water your grass and not leave it unattended. People often pack their things and go over to the other side, only to not water that grass as well.
Lol I indeed feel called out in the last paragraph. Since being in my first ever serious long term relationship, I had no idea this is what it feels like coming out of the honeymoon phase :') is there any way to revive that honeymoon feeling?
I do feel pretty neglected at the moment, compared to the courtship phase my Scorpio and I had. He says he's been like this because of stress etc. but I feel neglectedclick to expand
Ya, I remember your previous post.
Love fluctuates so there will be moments later on where you relive intense feelings. But it's not going to be consistent as that would be robotic.
Things such as surprises, spontaneous dates and trying new things can revive that honeymoon intensity.
You have to develop a secure attachment style . Confident enough to convey your feelings, but also not asusming you'll be abandoned if someone becomes busy.
Posted by LuckyLibra7Posted by saggurl88
I came from a long relationship and still find that most people don't have a clue how to get and stay in a relationship. Most of the men on dating apps that I have met have never had a successful relationship past 2-3 years and this is in the 35-45 male range.
They tell men to be free and get as much pussy as you like and then reprogram yourself to settle down later and get a wife and start a family. Sometimes men can do this, and sometimes men can't.
Also when finding "your person" They don't have to necessarily check off ALL your boxes, just enough of them to be a relief and to seem more regular or normal then the previous dates you've been on. Basically someone you're ok with settling for.
What works in a marriage and relationships is having low expectations lol
People with high expectations are the ones who are single and constantly swiping.
Lmao this is wild as hell, but it's become the new thing.
I don't think the issue is men being programmed to run through women, that depends on your audience. The issue is people do not know what a healthy relationship model looks like.
If we remove the honey-moon phase and love-bombing aspects, how many healthy couples do you see? People who legitimately enjoy each other, give space and are flexible?
There's tons of advice out here about what men & women need to do during dating, but none of these dating coaches are married.
Why is a dating coach that's been married 3 times, telling me what I need to do in a relationship?
People that aren't good examples seemed to have been given platforms. Not to mention the comparison and obession with celebrity relationships which fail quickly and often.click to expand
The mindset is different and you don't have to stay with a person if you don't want to. People have become more expendable, since it's easier to meet someone new.
It's a choice. A lot of people will choose their happiness above all and don't want to compromise. They would rather be selfish and be independent.
I find it hard to meet guys with the same mindset as me, I can compromise, but it has to be both ways. If it's one sided, I will throw in the towel.
I don't break up with guys over this topic though. I don't get bored very much inside a relationship, unless it's stagnant.
I would definitely break up with a couch potato who never left his city, it would never ever get to a marriage or engagement.
I personally believe more people are polyamorous than they are willing to believe.
We are conditioned to be monogamous, told itâs the only way of living. We are starting to reach a point in society (at least American society, idk about others) where polyamory is more beneficial to our survival than monogamy. Our primal brain feels that; our superficial/conscious brain suppresses it.
We are conditioned to be monogamous, told itâs the only way of living. We are starting to reach a point in society (at least American society, idk about others) where polyamory is more beneficial to our survival than monogamy. Our primal brain feels that; our superficial/conscious brain suppresses it.
Posted by Whorpio
I personally believe more people are polyamorous than they are willing to believe.
We are conditioned to be monogamous, told itâs the only way of living. We are starting to reach a point in society (at least American society, idk about others) where polyamory is more beneficial to our survival than monogamy. Our primal brain feels that; our superficial/conscious brain suppresses it.
Polyamory is tricky as it can lead to greed. I think we are naturally monogamous, but it's very easy for things to get stale and you get sidetracked.
Polyamory really depends on your needs and boundaries have to be established. You can treat each other as family, but at the end of the day you're going to mesh with one partner better than the other. You simply just can't have that deep level of communication with every person.
Your focus can only be in one place at a time and it's natural to get along with one over another. Teacher's have favorite students, Parents will have a particular child they mesh with better and people in general will always have an ex that things just fell into place with.
But anyway, I can attest to dating 5 women at one time. I can tell you there's no way in hell I would juggle that and work on a consistent basis. I limit it now to 2 max.
I've met some poly couples and I know a person or two exploring the option. Understand they also fail just like monogamy does.
Posted by LuckyLibra7Posted by Mutya
This is why I prefer being single. I've known a couple of women who would still go out with guys despite being in a relationship. And I can't even count the number of men who are "happily committed" yet would DM me trying to flirt and boost their ego. I'm just laughing at them posting pics and pretending to be so happy and faithful.
It spills over into so many things. Whether it's a career, where you live or just a relationship. A lot of people always have one foot out the door.
Forever chasing rainbows.click to expand
I think maybe because they settled in the first place?
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4. Would
Have you noticed how people who left shitty relationship are manifesting single life as the only way to live since they obtained their freedom?
They acting like it was somebodyâs fault that they were coupled with some shitty partners and like if somebody
Virgoâs co-worker who is 65 met woman online who lives in Ohio which is 9 hours drive from us. They had met 3 months ago.
He brought her over. Introduced her to his colleagues and his huge family with grandkids and allâŚI was skeptic BUT last night he pro
What are your favorite break up songs? You know, the ones that you play over and over and over again until your ears bleed after you break up with someone!
Why do girls give guys ( or girls if that's what they are into ) shit as a test during the initial stages of getting to know one another?
Also do all girls do this?/
And should I consider this a red flag?
Many years ago I met a woman I loved with all my heart, but she didnât have much money and thought it wise to get a job and a good income to stay independent. Sadly that lead to our demise as time went by and she never made itâŚ. she couldâve simply lived
Hi
Iâm sure this topic is common, but I really want to know if this is a red flag. I know Iâll get different answers from men and women.
I really like this guy but I have an issue. Heâs all over social media. He has a Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, Linked
Screw any people who practices it with the excuse of their âreligionâ. Theyâre usually the most controversial anyway. They donât care about the wivesâ consents. They also ironically happen to be some of the ugliest dudes ever. For the nonreligious who par
So I was at the pool today and my girlfriend has been mostly out of town this past week. I haven't touched my thing for days or had any sex so I was as aroused as ever. Then along comes a neighbor of mines (Gemini) that is good friends with me but also ha
do you have any preferences when it comes to common law or marriage...? which one do you think is right for you and why...? and
for those of you who have been divorced in the past, do you have any traumas when it comes to taking a chance at marriage once
If you are in a shitty relationship or you're being abused, then by all means leave. This is regarding people who have met someone decent, boxes are checked off, yet they feel something is missing or that they can find more excitement. Due to dating apps, people now feel like they have endless options and that is not reality. Your values, beliefs, chart and communication style will not match everyone.
Excitement will fade often after the Honey-Moon Phase and Love fluctuates in intensity over time. But remember to always water your grass and not leave it unattended. People often pack their things and go over to the other side, only to not water that grass as well.