@Cake_Anyone
9 Years
Unhappily married...not sure what to say
Understanding Emotional Responses in Unhappily Married Relationships
It is common to feel indifferent or disconnected in unhappy marriages. Honesty about your feelings can help address underlying issues, but gentle communication is key. Recognizing your emotions can guide you toward healthier resolutions or decisions about the relationship.
He missed me although I didn't ask him, he'd told me whilst away. He loves me too. But I can't decide what I want, it's part of the reason he went away to give me space but it's made no difference. I didn't miss him, I didn't feel any pull to contact him or anything. I feel like a terrible person. Thank you both for commenting 🙂
How long have you been married?
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
i would say it's time for a divorce lol unless you just want another roommate
I do feel like room mates tbh. I hate going to bed
Posted by Cake_Anyone
Hubby was away for a couple of weeks, got back today and has asked me if I missed him. I said I wasn't sure and that I'd just got on with things. But in all honesty I haven't missed him.Is there even a polite way of saying no to that question?
Nope. Lie to him and say you did miss him. If it's that hard to do try holding a fidget spinner when you say it.
Posted by MyStarsShine
How long have you been married?
Been married 7yrs next week. Together 9yrs.
Posted by MyStarsShine
How long have you been married?Been married 7yrs next week. Together 9yrs.
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7 year itch?
My mum mentioned that to me but that was a couple of years ago. I've felt like this for about 3yrs or so 😢 I've tried to say he needs to be with someone who wants to be with him I'm every sense of the word but he doesn't hear me. Then he tries it on again 😢
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
i would say it's time for a divorce lol unless you just want another roommateI do feel like room mates tbh. I hate going to bed
you used the word "hate"...this relationship sounds doomed...
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You may be right. There is a lot of negativity on my part for our relationship.
Posted by Cake_Anyone
Hubby was away for a couple of weeks, got back today and has asked me if I missed him. I said I wasn't sure and that I'd just got on with things. But in all honesty I haven't missed him.Is there even a polite way of saying no to that question?
Nope. Lie to him and say you did miss him. If it's that hard to do try holding a fidget spinner when you say it.
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You should design and make your own line of fidget spinners as much as you market them
Posted by Cake_Anyone
Hubby was away for a couple of weeks, got back today and has asked me if I missed him. I said I wasn't sure and that I'd just got on with things. But in all honesty I haven't missed him.Is there even a polite way of saying no to that question?
there isn't a nice way. saying "no" to missing someone happens. there have been times i left for weeks and my SO and I didn't miss each other. LOL. phases happen.
try to get the communication going, then the romance. sex fixes every thing. at least for me. LMAO.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
i would say it's time for a divorce lol unless you just want another roommateI do feel like room mates tbh. I hate going to bed
Once you've been together for a while, yes, life goes on to a point while the other is gone and those times when they are gone can be be refreshing. People who are attached to one another at all times and get bent out of shape when the other isn't around have clinginess issues.
But once you've reached THIS point...that's something altogether different. I don't envy you.
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When you say it's something different altogether what do you mean? I am being a little stupid here lol. I used to always want to be around him and we did everything together, were always talking but now I am not bothered. I feel horrible for feeling this way but it's gone on so long I just want to be happy 😢
Posted by Cake_Anyone
Hubby was away for a couple of weeks, got back today and has asked me if I missed him. I said I wasn't sure and that I'd just got on with things. But in all honesty I haven't missed him.Is there even a polite way of saying no to that question?
there isn't a nice way. saying "no" to missing someone happens. there have been times i left for weeks and my SO and I didn't miss each other. LOL. phases happen.
try to get the communication going, then the romance. sex fixes every thing. at least for me. LMAO.
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I just dont want him touching me at all. He still finds me attractive etc but I don't feel any attraction there anymore.
Posted by tiziani
I remember my mother once told my father directly, she preferred it when he was away lolIn the end, her feelings for him did re-surface and never left really. But not to say that's the same in your case.
I think the truth is something all relationships need to recover from, at times.
@Tiziani you took the words from my lips. I was going to say this, but I now I will tell you my own experience.
My husband and I have been married 8 years together for 10. I know to everyone on here when I comment on my husband it's all rainbows and sunshine because I speak highly of him and our marriage, but the truth is marriage is hard work! I'd be lying to you if I told you that for about 2 years of our marriage I didn't hate him! Like I thought anybody else would be better for him other than me and prayed he'd cheat on me so that I'd have an excuse to exit! That's the honest truth! That was the hardest two years of my life because I felt like dying inside. Up until a little less than a year ago I prayed and fasted asking God for guidance on my relationship. I got the answer we needed to spend more time together. So we went on a trip out of the country and used that time reintroducing ourselves to each other. Then we made a commitment to have date night every other weekend and we don't break that committed time with each other for anything! It has truly helped me fall back in love with my husband.... maybe even deeper love. When I first fell in love it was the usual kind of love, fluffy movie in love, but the love I have for him now is a respect that through all of our trials he's still there and has been my rock. I have a new found admiration of the man he's grown into versus the young man I married. I'm not saying this'll be the same case for you and your husband but it's something to discuss and think about. Marriages go through pockets of time where they fall in and out of love with another, or they may not feel the same kind of love at the same time. It's up to you what you want to do. If you know you'll be miserable staying with him then sit and make an exit strategy. I will say if you feel a relief when he's gone or that you don't miss him it's definitely an indicator of something serious.
Trust me I know that feeling of just wanting to be happy and if you know there's no way to change that feeling as long as you're with him... then I think you know the answer and now you must figure out how to execute.
the longer we are together, the more i miss him when he is not around. i didn't miss him all that much when i was traveling without him with my family in the first couple YEARS we were together tbh. at this point, it's like 'i miss u already' before he walks out of the door lol. advanced stage clinginess but it's not a problem to either of us yet lol
Separate houses keeps things alive
Separate countries even better lol.....joke
Familiarity can breed contempt, living together day in day out year after year after year aint for everyone
Posted by Cake_Anyone
Hubby was away for a couple of weeks, got back today and has asked me if I missed him. I said I wasn't sure and that I'd just got on with things. But in all honesty I haven't missed him.Is there even a polite way of saying no to that question?
there isn't a nice way. saying "no" to missing someone happens. there have been times i left for weeks and my SO and I didn't miss each other. LOL. phases happen.
try to get the communication going, then the romance. sex fixes every thing. at least for me. LMAO.
click to expand
No not for everyone
People can go off each other sexually
feeling like roommates and hate going to bed sound doomed. it's a torture to live with someone you don't love enough
Posted by Wineaux15
Trust me I know that feeling of just wanting to be happy and if you know there's no way to change that feeling as long as you're with him... then I think you know the answer and now you must figure out how to execute.
I think you are right.
Posted by iCloud9
feeling like roommates and hate going to bed sound doomed. it's a torture to live with someone you don't love enough
It really does feel like torture 😢
It sounds to me like you are controlling everything. Even this space he gave you, was at YOUR bidding.
Let him actually leave you by his choice, in where YOU realize you're not wanted ...... and let's then see what song you sing.
You must not be physically attracted to him anymore.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
i would say it's time for a divorce lol unless you just want another roommateI do feel like room mates tbh. I hate going to bed
you used the word "hate"...this relationship sounds doomed...
You may be right. There is a lot of negativity on my part for our relationship.
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Is there anyone else?
It sounds to me like you are controlling everything. Even this space he gave you, was at YOUR bidding.
Let him actually leave you by his choice, in where YOU realize you're not wanted ...... and let's then see what song you sing.
Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no mo'
This one.
Posted by Cake_Anyone
Hubby was away for a couple of weeks, got back today and has asked me if I missed him. I said I wasn't sure and that I'd just got on with things. But in all honesty I haven't missed him.Is there even a polite way of saying no to that question?
Nope. Lie to him and say you did miss him. If it's that hard to do try holding a fidget spinner when you say it.
They just got a pack of them at the convenience store.
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What are you implying here Shadow? ?
Posted by Cake_Anyone
Hubby was away for a couple of weeks, got back today and has asked me if I missed him. I said I wasn't sure and that I'd just got on with things. But in all honesty I haven't missed him.Is there even a polite way of saying no to that question?
Nope. Lie to him and say you did miss him. If it's that hard to do try holding a fidget spinner when you say it.
They just got a pack of them at the convenience store.
What are you implying here Shadow? ?
I'm implying that fidget spinners are taking over the world.
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@Whorpio can make a better Fidget Spinner that's too expensive to sell at the gas station. Maybe a wireless speaker Bluetooth Fidget Spinner with lights that move to the best of the song.
It sounds to me like you are controlling everything. Even this space he gave you, was at YOUR bidding.
Let him actually leave you by his choice, in where YOU realize you're not wanted ...... and let's then see what song you sing.
Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no mo'
This one.
click to expand
GEMI!!! —
Posted by Cake_Anyone
Hubby was away for a couple of weeks, got back today and has asked me if I missed him. I said I wasn't sure and that I'd just got on with things. But in all honesty I haven't missed him.Is there even a polite way of saying no to that question?
Nope. Lie to him and say you did miss him. If it's that hard to do try holding a fidget spinner when you say it.
You should design and make your own line of fidget spinners as much as you market them
click to expand
I'm working on it 😄
It sounds to me like you are controlling everything. Even this space he gave you, was at YOUR bidding.
Let him actually leave you by his choice, in where YOU realize you're not wanted ...... and let's then see what song you sing.
Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no mo'
This one.
GEMI!!! —
click to expand
Yes, Princess...
It rhymes...—
Posted by Cake_Anyone
Hubby was away for a couple of weeks, got back today and has asked me if I missed him. I said I wasn't sure and that I'd just got on with things. But in all honesty I haven't missed him.Is there even a polite way of saying no to that question?
Nope. Lie to him and say you did miss him. If it's that hard to do try holding a fidget spinner when you say it.
They just got a pack of them at the convenience store.
What are you implying here Shadow? ?
I'm implying that fidget spinners are taking over the world.
click to expand
Well clearly not, since people still complain about their "problems" ?
It's your fault! You haven't turn down a radio...?
Posted by Cake_Anyone
Hubby was away for a couple of weeks, got back today and has asked me if I missed him. I said I wasn't sure and that I'd just got on with things. But in all honesty I haven't missed him.Is there even a polite way of saying no to that question?
Nope. Lie to him and say you did miss him. If it's that hard to do try holding a fidget spinner when you say it.
They just got a pack of them at the convenience store.
What are you implying here Shadow? ?
I'm implying that fidget spinners are taking over the world.
Well clearly not, since people still complain about their "problems" ?
click to expand
Apparently this dumb things not as powerful as you think!
Gotcha!
It's your fault! You haven't turn down a radio...?
?
Starwars is suchha cookiemonster!!! Look at her bossing me around ??
Posted by MyStarsShine
Separate houses keeps things aliveSeparate countries even better lol.....joke
Familiarity can breed contempt, living together day in day out year after year after year aint for everyone
I've met one (only one!) person who has this kind of marriage.
He and his wife live a few houses apart... they are much older.
He goes over every morning for breakfast.
It works. 😄
It's your fault! You haven't turn down a radio...?
?
Starwars is suchha cookiemonster!!! Look at her bossing me around ??
click to expand
But you didn't cave in! So you are a biger Cookie Monster! (I mean Sesame Street of course...) ?
It's your fault! You haven't turn down a radio...?
?
Starwars is suchha cookiemonster!!! Look at her bossing me around ??
But you didn't cave in! So you are a biger Cookie Monster! (I mean Sesame Street of course...) ?
click to expand
I didn't— I did turn off the radio!!!??
Or maybe I should watch it again ?
It's your fault! You haven't turn down a radio...?
?
Starwars is suchha cookiemonster!!! Look at her bossing me around ??
But you didn't cave in! So you are a biger Cookie Monster! (I mean Sesame Street of course...) ?
I didn't— I did turn off the radio!!!??
Or maybe I should watch it again ?
click to expand
BINGO!
You did not. It went off when you two killed Loonybin! ?
Posted by Sagiluv27
Married couples sometimes need breaks away from each other and that's okay!
What are you talking about? Me and PJ not married. We could try...I guess...idk...
?
Posted by Sagiluv27
Married couples sometimes need breaks away from each other and that's okay!What are you talking about? Me and PJ not married. We could try...I guess...idk...
?
Who is pj
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Never mind...
It's your fault! You haven't turn down a radio...?
?
Starwars is suchha cookiemonster!!! Look at her bossing me around ??
But you didn't cave in! So you are a biger Cookie Monster! (I mean Sesame Street of course...) ?
I didn't— I did turn off the radio!!!??
Or maybe I should watch it again ?
BINGO!
You did not. It went off when you two killed Loonybin! ?
click to expand
Lol!! If you say so
I like to be the bigger cookiemonster ?
It sounds to me like you are controlling everything. Even this space he gave you, was at YOUR bidding.
Let him actually leave you by his choice, in where YOU realize you're not wanted ...... and let's then see what song you sing.
I don't see how I can control him going away...he chose to text his boss and put himself forward to go on tour, I never did that. I just didn't stop him from going because that would be wrong. I never told him to go anywhere, that was his doing, he chose to do that to see if space would help.
ckquote> Posted by Cake_Anyone
I don't see how I can control him going away...he chose to text his boss and put himself forward to go on tour, I never did that. I just didn't stop him from going because that would be wrong. I never told him to go anywhere, that was his doing, he chose to do that to see if space would help.
But I can't decide what I want, it's part of the reason he went away to give me space but it's made no difference.
click to expand
Again, let the tables turn, let him decide that you're not worth it to him, and have you feel like garbage to throw awy as you've done him ......... and then see what song you sing.
I don't see how I can control him going away...he chose to text his boss and put himself forward to go on tour, I never did that. I just didn't stop him from going because that would be wrong. I never told him to go anywhere, that was his doing, he chose to do that to see if space would help.
But I can't decide what I want, it's part of the reason he went away to give me space but it's made no difference.
Again, let the tables turn, let him decide that you're not worth it to him, and have you feel like garbage to throw awy as you've done him ......... and then see what song you sing.
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And how do I do that? How long should I wait for the tables to turn huh? You're a very lovely person, not sure why you bother posting.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
i would say it's time for a divorce lol unless you just want another roommateI do feel like room mates tbh. I hate going to bed
Once you've been together for a while, yes, life goes on to a point while the other is gone and those times when they are gone can be be refreshing. People who are attached to one another at all times and get bent out of shape when the other isn't around have clinginess issues.
But once you've reached THIS point...that's something altogether different. I don't envy you.
I have clinginess issues.
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So, one whole day has passed that my Capricorn and I haven't been together, nor have we contacted one another. I'm feeling like I do want to text him, but I'm wondering if that feeling is stemming from impulse and habit rather than from a place of love. So, I am not going to contact him tonight. I will see how tomorrow goes.
Posted by Sagiluv27
Married couples sometimes need breaks away from each other and that's okay!
Heh
I'd like to add that romantic couples of any nature sometimes need breaks away from each other.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
i would say it's time for a divorce lol unless you just want another roommateI do feel like room mates tbh. I hate going to bed
Once you've been together for a while, yes, life goes on to a point while the other is gone and those times when they are gone can be be refreshing. People who are attached to one another at all times and get bent out of shape when the other isn't around have clinginess issues.
But once you've reached THIS point...that's something altogether different. I don't envy you.
I have clinginess issues.
So, one whole day has passed that my Capricorn and I haven't been together, nor have we contacted one another. I'm feeling like I do want to text him, but I'm wondering if that feeling is stemming from impulse and habit rather than from a place of love. So, I am not going to contact him tonight. I will see how tomorrow goes.
"Let him go completely
until he realized he was
meant for my side."
-@tachibanasan
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I don't know about completely...he just dropped off some of his weird art.
OP? Have you two ever had the conversation about why you are unhappy in the marriage? Or a conversation about your unhappiness?
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
i would say it's time for a divorce lol unless you just want another roommateI do feel like room mates tbh. I hate going to bed
Once you've been together for a while, yes, life goes on to a point while the other is gone and those times when they are gone can be be refreshing. People who are attached to one another at all times and get bent out of shape when the other isn't around have clinginess issues.
But once you've reached THIS point...that's something altogether different. I don't envy you.
I have clinginess issues.
So, one whole day has passed that my Capricorn and I haven't been together, nor have we contacted one another. I'm feeling like I do want to text him, but I'm wondering if that feeling is stemming from impulse and habit rather than from a place of love. So, I am not going to contact him tonight. I will see how tomorrow goes.
"Let him go completely
until he realized he was
meant for my side."
-@tachibanasan
I don't know about completely...he just dropped off some of his weird art.
I love weird art!
Why aren't y'all talking? Sorry if I might have missed it.
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It's in my 'Point of No Return' thread. It's a cluster-cuss of a post, to be honest.
Marriage doesn't make you happy. You make you happy. Sounds like you're suffering from some unrealistic expectations. If you're "unhappily married" you should be talking to your husband about it and quite possibly a marriage counselor.
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Hubby was away for a couple of weeks, got back today and has asked me if I missed him. I said I wasn't sure and that I'd just got on with things. But in all honesty I haven't missed him.
Is there even a polite way of saying no to that question?