Has anyone here dated someone with Asperger's, or do you have it yourself?

I am currently really into someone who there is NO DOUBT in my mind has this. He says he's been questioned about it regularly and believes he probably has it as well.

He is an INSANE artist, uses repeat patterns in all his work. He remembers weird things, like how we mostly only meet up on odd number days. Very intelligent. When we communicate via text, he is always insanely confused by non-direct information. He does not pick up on hints, jokes, physical cues. All of this is fine, but sexually it is frustrating. Sex is great but we've only had it twice. He WILL NOT make a move. To kiss, cuddle, sex, or anything. He does not pick up on cues. He told me he doesn't and that its frustrating for him too. I've been reading about how Asperger's can impact relationships. Something like a 80% divorce rate and sexual issues.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any insight into this, as its a very common "disorder"? I like him very much but this could be a deal breaker because the intimacy is so awkward. The sex itself was great, but getting there is like being in High School. To make matters worse, I also do not like to be the aggressor. Any hints I give are just not picked up on. He is sweet, handsome, complimentary, great conversationalist, driven.... It's going to be a bummer if this is the thing that puts a halt on moving forward.

Posted by heliumfiasco

I am currently really into someone who there is NO DOUBT in my mind has this. He says he's been questioned about it regularly and believes he probably has it as well.

He is an INSANE artist, uses repeat patterns in all his work. He remembers weird things, like how we mostly only meet up on odd number days. Very intelligent. When we communicate via text, he is always insanely confused by non-direct information. He does not pick up on hints, jokes, physical cues. All of this is fine, but sexually it is frustrating. Sex is great but we've only had it twice. He WILL NOT make a move. To kiss, cuddle, sex, or anything. He does not pick up on cues. He told me he doesn't and that its frustrating for him too. I've been reading about how Asperger's can impact relationships. Something like a 80% divorce rate and sexual issues.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any insight into this, as its a very common "disorder"? I like him very much but this could be a deal breaker because the intimacy is so awkward. The sex itself was great, but getting there is like being in High School. To make matters worse, I also do not like to be the aggressor. Any hints I give are just not picked up on. He is sweet, handsome, complimentary, great conversationalist, driven.... It's going to be a bummer if this is the thing that puts a halt on moving forward.

so sorry - I guess this is the thing then, you either accept it and move forward with the relationship which I'm sure will get better in some ways but in some ways you may find other challenges to face as with all relationships. I saw a movie recently and I get what you are saying. It's about the life you want to build together and how each of you can make small adjustments in order to compromise and still maintain your individuality as well as a couple-ship is that a word

Posted by Black-Mamba

Drop it

Yeah, I was really excited about this guy. I just thought he was "moving slow", but I realize it's more than that. He wants to see me just about everyday is so attentive but this WILL be an issue for me.

I guess back to the drawing board I go.

Yeah, it's definitely mild and not debilitating. He is brilliant! I can just tell there is a huge disconnect with approaching me. We discussed it and it was obvious he had no idea....

I want to absolutely maintain a friendship at the very least. I'm bummed.

Like... he stayed over my house last night AFTER we discussed this. I was snuggling him on the couch, nothing. Then we get into bed I start rubbing his neck and kissing him.....nothing. Now this morning he's messaging me all day like nothing is an issue.... I cant.

@Impulsv

He likes direct. You don't vibe off being the initiator. Easy peasy. Just have a special code.

Like when I wear the red slip sleep dress its time for pound town.

Then just buy and wear only red so he knows he can pounce.

Do you want to have sex with me?

[ ] Yes

[ ] No

Right click -> Print

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by _Dazed

@Impulsv

Do you mean me?

Yeah I sometimes suspect it but it just affects. My dating life lol

Even though I’m good with social cues out side of that lol

click to expand

I thought I remembered you talking about how it affected you at one point.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by _Dazed

@Impulsv

Do you mean me?

Yeah I sometimes suspect it but it just affects. My dating life lol

Even though I’m good with social cues out side of that lol

I thought I remembered you talking about how it affected you at one point.

Well yes I seriously think I might have it but for women it shows different

We can be naive n trusting

Yet maybe I’m not

Haven’t fallen for dxpnet dm lol

click to expand

I'm here for you.

Posted by HearttofTopazz

No experience with Aspergers. But the next time that you two hangout I would get completely nude and just act real nonchalant lol. See what he does, and if he doesn’t make a move after all that... then I’d tell him to fuggin skedaddle!

you would be VERY disappointed.

_______________________________________________

my advice would be, no cues just let your gem side say what you want, otherwise you would have to explain social nuances to him, can be done, but is a pain in the ass, wait your a virgo venus?, oh boy....

It’s a really great opportunity for you to stretch out of that comfort zone and learn to become a direct communicator and the sexual aggressor during a serious relationship.

Even if it doesn’t last forever- new skillz y’all

Posted by wagtail

It’s a really great opportunity for you to stretch out of that comfort zone and learn to become a direct communicator and the sexual aggressor during a serious relationship.

Even if it doesn’t last forever- new skillz y’all

Ya know, I was thinking of that. I am very down to clown in the bedroom, but I have never been cool with being an aggressor in any way initially. Perhaps. it a growing experience.

Posted by HearttofTopazz

No experience with Aspergers. But the next time that you two hangout I would get completely nude and just act real nonchalant lol. See what he does, and if he doesn’t make a move after all that... then I’d tell him to fuggin skedaddle!

haha I shall do this tonight!