Monogamy

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by Sag898 on Wednesday, March 13, 2019 and has 66 replies.

Is Monogamy Realistic in Today’s Society

Monogamy's realism varies based on individual values and cultural norms. While some believe it is essential for stability, others find it less practical due to changing societal views. Personal beliefs and relationship goals influence perspectives on monogamy, making it a subjective topic rather than a universal standard.

You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Profile picture of Sag898
@Sag898
8 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by JustBrowsing

It's still possible if you choose well and then demand it from your partner.

Adults aren't children you shouldn't have to tell people what to do

Profile picture of Sag898
@Sag898
8 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by JustBrowsing

Posted by Sag898

Posted by JustBrowsing

It's still possible if you choose well and then demand it from your partner.

Adults aren't children you shouldn't have to tell people what to do

Good luck, I've learned to set the record straight once I get feels and hop into a real monogamous relationship.

If they stay, great. If they leave, stay gone!

click to expand

Good luck believing you can control other people

Profile picture of Endless
@Endless
8 Years1,000+ Posts

not realistic in the societal view?

and what is that suppose to mean?

I'm pretty sure monogamy is a societal construct, very easy to follow the idea if you think about it.

also your venus is showing lmao.

Like
Profile picture of hydorah
@hydorah
13 Years10,000+ PostsPisces

Posted by Sag898

When are people gonna accept it's not realistic in the societal view?

pretty sure that monogamy is the most acceptable way "in the societal view"

and that OP doesnt' know how to sentences

Like
Profile picture of Endless
@Endless
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Sagicorn

Posted by Endless

not realistic in the societal view?

and what is that suppose to mean?

I'm pretty sure monogamy is a societal construct, very easy to follow the idea if you think about it.

also your venus is showing lmao.

Since you're 2nd person to mention Venus, I'm curious why her Venus? Lol having in mind someone with this Venus I'm just curious what it has to do with it. Since Aqua Suns I know are more than strict about being monogamous never thought Venus would be the other way lol

click to expand

well, most aquarius sun I know had huge double standards when they were teens, to the point that nowadays they are strict monogamos cuz they don't want to be done the same.

but aquarius are the first to "defy" societal norms, basically anything traditional, relationships, religion, moral and politics, and well, venus is exactly that, for many aqua venus a relationship is basically giving away their freedom and independence, many say is a burden, a leash that keeps them imprisoned, they see the world in a very natural way, if you feel attraction for someone even when you're in a committed relationship, that must mean something right? lmao and why sex is such a sacred thing anyway, yada yada yada

air venus are like that, mind you they're not evil or anything, they just don't feel the same push to behave like our society expects.

Profile picture of Endless
@Endless
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Sagicorn

Posted by Endless

Posted by Sagicorn

Posted by Endless

not realistic in the societal view?

and what is that suppose to mean?

I'm pretty sure monogamy is a societal construct, very easy to follow the idea if you think about it.

also your venus is showing lmao.

Since you're 2nd person to mention Venus, I'm curious why her Venus? Lol having in mind someone with this Venus I'm just curious what it has to do with it. Since Aqua Suns I know are more than strict about being monogamous never thought Venus would be the other way lol

well, most aquarius sun I know had huge double standards when they were teens, to the point that nowadays they are strict monogamos cuz they don't want to be done the same.

but aquarius are the first to "defy" societal norms, basically anything traditional, relationships, religion, moral and politics, and well, venus is exactly that, for many aqua venus a relationship is basically giving away their freedom and independence, many say is a burden, a leash that keeps them imprisoned, they see the world in a very natural way, if you feel attraction for someone even when you're in a committed relationship, that must mean something right? lmao and why sex is such a sacred thing anyway, yada yada yada

air venus are like that, mind you they're not evil or anything, they just don't feel the same push to behave like our society expects.

Yeah this is true actually I do recognize what you wrote here. They were quite wild before getting married but they expect complete dedication from their partners and in marriage. Pretty much all of them were like this. One went as far as leaving her long term bf to explore other options lol she even hit on her best friend's bf, the guy I just started seeing too lol but as all her options didn't work out she looked for her ex and married him then. The other one was engaged but she lives in another country and she kept contacts with guys here that she would go wild with when she comes here lol but that same person always said she would expect 100% devotion from her guy

click to expand

I always think is the leo/aqua axis, while leo is more traditional, aquas are liberal.

but boy we both are stubborn as fuck, and we always want our way or the highway just like @xxxbitcheroniiixxx said, literally trying to force "open mindness" into others, still I get good with them lmao.

my aqua friend told me when we were in HS "if you had the same thing for dinner every night, you would get tired, you would want to get something different to spice things up, is the same" yeah nah, but when he got some of the same treatment, boy he got super jealous lmao he grow out of it, and is very understanding now.

Profile picture of Undine
@Undine
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Undine

When Sags, Caps, Aquas, Pisces and Aries will outnumber the rest.

All the losers

click to expand

Nah, the universal signs!

Profile picture of saggurl88
@saggurl88
13 Years25,000+ Posts

I'm selfish as hell. I'm not sharing ANY part of my human. Whats mine is mine or he can leave and never return.

Likes
Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Even swans are cheating on each other now

Modern life hey?

Monogamy is a great ideal in an ideal world....but in reality, well....

Profile picture of justagirl
@justagirl
12 Years10,000+ Posts

To me, it's unrealistic to expect everyone to think and feel the same. 🤷‍♀️

To each their own.

Likes
Profile picture of Sag898
@Sag898
8 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by Raakac

Posted by Sag898

Posted by JustBrowsing

Posted by Sag898

Posted by JustBrowsing

It's still possible if you choose well and then demand it from your partner.

Adults aren't children you shouldn't have to tell people what to do

Good luck, I've learned to set the record straight once I get feels and hop into a real monogamous relationship.

If they stay, great. If they leave, stay gone!

Good luck believing you can control other people

You wouldn't believe the amount of people who let themselves be restricted and controlled.... I can't even think about this shit straight, i get mad and angry... after that these controlled people or the one's that control become the victim and complain about it...CBA

click to expand

Exactly

Profile picture of RamOfPeace
@RamOfPeace
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Poly person here.

Some people are wired for mono, some for poly. It’s normal and both can be healthy relationship models, if people in it aren’t morons and take responsebility for personal shit and upbringing/family projection.

There’s little I dislike more than one camp ‘splaining the other.

Please, stfu.

Likes
Profile picture of Argus
@Argus
7 Years1,000+ Posts

To each their own but I’m going all “precious” on that ass ...

Image Not Found

and if it’s not reciprocated...by all means.. good riddance indeed!!!

Profile picture of hippiecrite
@hippiecrite
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by JustBrowsing

It's still possible if you choose well and then demand it from your partner.

Demand? Good luck with that. Either you’re on the same page or you aren’t.

Likes
Profile picture of tctaap
@tctaap
8 Years1,000+ Posts

I prefer monogamy. I have a partner that I am interested in and I have absolutely no desire to go elsewhere. I enjoy the bond.

Profile picture of tctaap
@tctaap
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by hippiecrite

Posted by JustBrowsing

It's still possible if you choose well and then demand it from your partner.

Demand? Good luck with that. Either you’re on the same page or you aren’t.

click to expand

it should be understood between partners

Like
Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by JustBrowsing

Posted by Sag898

If you study the animal world you will see that the best surviving species are the one with polygamy family organization. Just saying

At roughly 7.5 billion souls that we know of and the most dominant species on the planet, I don't think humans are in any danger of disappearing because of the debate between mono and poly.

I think modern humans are capable of both, but for the sake of child rearing it most likely will get confusing.

click to expand

Lol I was about to say....

This isn’t little house on the prairie days. No need to procreate like rabbits to outnumber the natives.

Profile picture of libralionfish
@libralionfish
7 Years

Posted by tctaap

Posted by hippiecrite

Posted by JustBrowsing

It's still possible if you choose well and then demand it from your partner.

Demand? Good luck with that. Either you’re on the same page or you aren’t.

it should be understood between partners

click to expand

^^ this.

I can wrap my head around anything. What I can't understand why someone who is polyamorous insists on being in a relationship where their partner must remain loyal. The social facade of normalcy needs to go.

Profile picture of saggurl88
@saggurl88
13 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Sag898

If you study the animal world you will see that the best surviving species are the one with polygamy family organization. Just saying

I would only be able to partake in this if she was asexual and didn't care about having sex but loved cooking and cleaning for us both.

Image Not Found

Image Not Found

Image Not Found

Like
Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Sag898

If you study the animal world you will see that the best surviving species are the one with polygamy family organization. Just saying

I would only be able to partake in this if she was asexual and didn't care about having sex but loved cooking and cleaning for us both.

Image Not Found

Image Not Found

Image Not Found

click to expand

Thats called a monogamous relationship + live in maid

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

It gives me hope to meet older people who are on their 2nd or 3rd love story and incredibly happy with their partner.

The hardest part about monogamy is expecting someone to not change. Its not sustainable. People aren't going to remain the same. Your not going to remain the same.

Maybe you get lucky and you both grow and evolve and it brings you closer. Maybe it doesn't.

Just out here grateful for every moment I have with him. Whether its for a season, for forever, or for just today.

Likes
Profile picture of Boots1313
@Boots1313
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by LadyNeptune

It gives me hope to meet older people who are on their 2nd or 3rd love story and incredibly happy with their partner.

The hardest part about monogamy is expecting someone to not change. Its not sustainable. People aren't going to remain the same. Your not going to remain the same.

Maybe you get lucky and you both grow and evolve and it brings you closer. Maybe it doesn't.

Just out here grateful for every moment I have with him. Whether its for a season, for forever, or for just today.

This is very nicely said.

Monogamous doesnt necessarily mean forever...it means to be committed to the person for how ever long it lasts. To have compassion and respect and appreciation for eachother.

Doesn't seem too farfetched when you look at it in realistic terms.

Likes
Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by LadyNeptune

It gives me hope to meet older people who are on their 2nd or 3rd love story and incredibly happy with their partner.

The hardest part about monogamy is expecting someone to not change. Its not sustainable. People aren't going to remain the same. Your not going to remain the same.

Maybe you get lucky and you both grow and evolve and it brings you closer. Maybe it doesn't.

Just out here grateful for every moment I have with him. Whether its for a season, for forever, or for just today.

This is very nicely said.

Monogamous doesnt necessarily mean forever...it means to be committed to the person for how ever long it lasts. To have compassion and respect and appreciation for eachother.

Doesn't seem too farfetched when you look at it in realistic terms.

click to expand

Never got a notification for dis...

Yeah its not gonna be forever even in an ideal world cause someone is gonna keel over first.

Like
Profile picture of Boots1313
@Boots1313
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by LadyNeptune

It gives me hope to meet older people who are on their 2nd or 3rd love story and incredibly happy with their partner.

The hardest part about monogamy is expecting someone to not change. Its not sustainable. People aren't going to remain the same. Your not going to remain the same.

Maybe you get lucky and you both grow and evolve and it brings you closer. Maybe it doesn't.

Just out here grateful for every moment I have with him. Whether its for a season, for forever, or for just today.

This is very nicely said.

Monogamous doesnt necessarily mean forever...it means to be committed to the person for how ever long it lasts. To have compassion and respect and appreciation for eachother.

Doesn't seem too farfetched when you look at it in realistic terms.

Never got a notification for dis...

Yeah its not gonna be forever even in an ideal world cause someone is gonna keel over first.

click to expand

"Every love story is a tragedy, if you wait long enough..."

Profile picture of aquarius09
@aquarius09
15 Years10,000+ Posts

For the record, venus in Aqua isn’t a polygamous placement. It is, however, a practical/realist lover that acknowledges that every relationship/dalliance whatever comes with an expiration date. Nothing lasts forever. Let it run its course and then part amicably as opposed to letting things get ugly (i.e. cheating, microcheating, snooping around into your partners’ things, stalking your partner, coercing your partner into proposing etc.)

Likes
Profile picture of BoomShakalakaBoom
@BoomShakalakaBoom
15 Years5,000+ Posts

I dont want to imagine the amount of psychologically fucked up children growing up in a society where monogamy is NOT the norm. "Hey, I have more moms and dads than you!" would probably be a common subject of conversation among kids.

Monogamy makes sure society stays functional

It keeps civilization alive.

Profile picture of BoomShakalakaBoom
@BoomShakalakaBoom
15 Years5,000+ Posts

What societal view? What pressure? Where is it? I cant see it, I cant touch it, I cant hear it, so it might as well not exist. Nobody is going to kill you for not choosing to be monogamous. We live in a free society in the West, luckily.

It is YOUR OWN choice to be monogamous or not if it fits your own life style and values and if you find someone who also shares those same values, then who's to say you should be this or that?

What is the problem, really? You are free.

Likes
Profile picture of BoomShakalakaBoom
@BoomShakalakaBoom
15 Years5,000+ Posts

Let's also not forget that a lot of the people who advocate for a non-monogamous society simply do it to avoid growing up emotionally themselves, to keep avoiding RESPONSIBILITY in their lives, not because they truly care what's best for society. It gives them a perfect opportunity to keep acting like teenagers their whole lives. With age usually comes wisdom and calmness of spirit. With age people naturally start gravitating more towards stability and peace of mind. Dating multiple people at the same time can be very emotionally, psychologically and physically exhausting (I did it myself, briefly in my late 20s) so even though to each his\her own.. Im not sure it would be a good thing for your well-being, or for the functioning of society.

Likes
Profile picture of BoomShakalakaBoom
@BoomShakalakaBoom
15 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by tiziani

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

Let's also not forget that a lot of the people who advocate for a non-monogamous society simply do it to avoid growing up emotionally themselves, to keep avoiding RESPONSIBILITY in their lives, not because they truly care what's best for society.

The same thing can be said for people who choose monogamy, on an even bigger scale since it's the norm.

Hence the thread.

click to expand

What exactly would someone - who consciously chooses monogamy- be trying to avoid? Abandonment/co-dependency/fear of being alone/low self esteem/lack of self-respect issues? Everyone can have those, regardless of whether they are monogamous or not. In fact, speaking from experience, a lot of those issues can actually be healed within a healthy monogamous relationship. Can they be healed through non-monogamy? Unlikely, but who knows.

Likes
Profile picture of Sag898
@Sag898
8 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by NemDeux

Posted by Sag898

When are people gonna accept it's not realistic in the societal view?

co-sign this.

the reason most people are miserable too; because they are confined to a social expectancy ....

click to expand

Right. Everything is done in secret because of this too.

Profile picture of Sag898
@Sag898
8 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by tiziani

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

Posted by tiziani

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

Let's also not forget that a lot of the people who advocate for a non-monogamous society simply do it to avoid growing up emotionally themselves, to keep avoiding RESPONSIBILITY in their lives, not because they truly care what's best for society.

The same thing can be said for people who choose monogamy, on an even bigger scale since it's the norm.

Hence the thread.

What exactly would someone - who chooses monogamy- be trying to avoid? Abandonment/co-dependency/fear of being alone/low self esteem/lack of self-respect issues? Everyone can have those, regardless of whether they are monogamous or not. In fact, speaking from experience, a lot of those issues can actually be healed within a healthy monogamous relationship. Can they be healed through non-monogamy? Unlikely, but who knows.

Hey we are cool honestly, I don't want to get into big words. All I'm saying is you went full circle into explaining exactly why the thread is valid.

People can use societal values to avoid growing up and owning their choices. And that's especially true for accepted societal norms like monogamy.

We've all read DXP over the years and it's obvious. There's a ton of emotional and sexual repression that is accepted as normal. The ideal for me is to question what I want, and know why I want it so that I can own my choices.

I found some answers for myself in the swingers community, and I found some answers in perfectly vanilla relationships too. For what it's worth, the polyamorous communities I hung out with turned out to be made up of people who are a pain in the ass more often than not. There's a sort of "smell the farts" air of enlightenment that doesn't wash with me, and I learnt nothing from it.

click to expand

Screw the communities! Just follow that heart 😄

Profile picture of Sag898
@Sag898
8 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

I dont want to imagine the amount of psychologically fucked up children growing up in a society where monogamy is NOT the norm. "Hey, I have more moms and dads than you!" would probably be a common subject of conversation among kids.

Monogamy makes sure society stays functional

It keeps civilization alive.

How being around a bunch of repressed psychologically fuck ups too lol no thanks, seen it. *throws up*

Profile picture of Sag898
@Sag898
8 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

What societal view? What pressure? Where is it? I cant see it, I cant touch it, I cant hear it, so it might as well not exist. Nobody is going to kill you for not choosing to be monogamous. We live in a free society in the West, luckily.

It is YOUR OWN choice to be monogamous or not if it fits your own life style and values and if you find someone who also shares those same values, then who's to say you should be this or that?

What is the problem, really? You are free.

You just contradicted yourself

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

I don't really understand the need to judge those that choose monogamy, polyamory, or any other relationship status that they want.

The only time I see any issue is when someone that wants a polyamorous relationship, and lies to someone that wants a monogamous one. And it isn't the cheating that is issue more often than not, it is the deceit in lying about the expectations from the relationship.

Some of us choose monogamy, not because of societal norms. Some of us that choose it, do so because of emotional aspects, such as possessiveness. I choose to be monogamous, yet understand that intercourse is primal and can be done with zero emotions behind it. Monogamy for me, simply stems from the fact that I am possessive and do not like to share on any level.

Likes
Profile picture of ladylibra21
@ladylibra21
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Say ms the person with mostly non commital placements lol.i think it is all about having an open and honest conversation. I’m willing to try an open relationship just to see if it works but ultimately if have to truly trust someone to allow that kind of relationship to happen. I don’t want to worry about how careful my partner is at the end of the day like are you gonna bring a baby home or an std because you decided you wanted to try diffent kissy textures no thanks.

Profile picture of Sag898
@Sag898
8 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by ladylibra21

Say ms the person with mostly non commital placements lol.i think it is all about having an open and honest conversation. I’m willing to try an open relationship just to see if it works but ultimately if have to truly trust someone to allow that kind of relationship to happen. I don’t want to worry about how careful my partner is at the end of the day like are you gonna bring a baby home or an std because you decided you wanted to try diffent kissy textures no thanks.

Lol what do you mean most non commital placements? I’m fixed signs from Moon, Venus, Mars 😂

Profile picture of ladylibra21
@ladylibra21
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Sag898

Posted by ladylibra21

Say ms the person with mostly non commital placements lol.i think it is all about having an open and honest conversation. I’m willing to try an open relationship just to see if it works but ultimately if have to truly trust someone to allow that kind of relationship to happen. I don’t want to worry about how careful my partner is at the end of the day like are you gonna bring a baby home or an std because you decided you wanted to try diffent kissy textures no thanks.

Lol what do you mean most non commital placements? I’m fixed signs from Moon, Venus, Mars 😂

click to expand

Dicks doesn’t necessarily mean loyal it just means stuck in your ways. It actually takes fix them a lot longer of a time to commit in my opinion.

Like
Profile picture of Ram416
@Ram416
10 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

Posted by tiziani

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

Let's also not forget that a lot of the people who advocate for a non-monogamous society simply do it to avoid growing up emotionally themselves, to keep avoiding RESPONSIBILITY in their lives, not because they truly care what's best for society.

The same thing can be said for people who choose monogamy, on an even bigger scale since it's the norm.

Hence the thread.

What exactly would someone - who consciously chooses monogamy- be trying to avoid? Abandonment/co-dependency/fear of being alone/low self esteem/lack of self-respect issues? Everyone can have those, regardless of whether they are monogamous or not. In fact, speaking from experience, a lot of those issues can actually be healed within a healthy monogamous relationship. Can they be healed through non-monogamy? Unlikely, but who knows.

click to expand

Heard of serial monogamy? You think that's healthy?

You mentioned healthy monogamous relationship... The idea of monogamy in itself cannot be defined as healthy or unhealthy - it all depends on how the participants conduct themselves and treat their partners.

The same goes for polyamory.

Just because you witness 1 unhealthy poly relationship does not mean they are all the same.

Same for open relationships.

It always depends on the dynamics of the individuals involved, regardless of the types of relationships they embrace.

Profile picture of Sag898
@Sag898
8 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by Sag898

Posted by ladylibra21

Say ms the person with mostly non commital placements lol.i think it is all about having an open and honest conversation. I’m willing to try an open relationship just to see if it works but ultimately if have to truly trust someone to allow that kind of relationship to happen. I don’t want to worry about how careful my partner is at the end of the day like are you gonna bring a baby home or an std because you decided you wanted to try diffent kissy textures no thanks.

Lol what do you mean most non commital placements? I’m fixed signs from Moon, Venus, Mars 😂

Dicks doesn’t necessarily mean loyal it just means stuck in your ways. It actually takes fix them a lot longer of a time to commit in my opinion.

click to expand

Huh..I never thought of it that way. Interesting view

First
Previous
Next
Last