LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts
Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35719 · Topics: 110
Indecisiveness....practicality vs. emotions
Thinking why waste money on rent when in 12 short months that could be going towards a mortgage, something you own you know...
Posted by coffeetimeWe are both renting rooms out of houses. We do tend to switch off each weekend at each others place, but were talking about moving in together to get more privacy, etc.
Is it possible to stay at one person's current rental and split the costs that way?
It wouldn't be possible to move in to each others place. Our work places are around 2 hours away with typical commuting traffic.
Posted by tizianiAs it stands now we both work so many hours and he's going to school as well, we still would only have time together on the weekends. Like it would be nice to sleep in the same bed each night and hold each other but is it worth paying much more rent plus the time and cost of a longer daily commute? Idk...
Just depends how much you value sharing a space. If you both want to be around one another, there's no conflict there because being apart becomes impractical.
I don't think living together should be a default but only you both know how much it affects your work and performance.
We've been booking weekend trips and spending real quality time together. Feels like when we we're first dating...that excitement in your gut.
I kinda fear moving in together and becoming all old and boring. Netflix and chill on Saturday night instead of out there living it up.
I also fear moving in where there is added stress from...longer commute and higher rent. This would be my first time moving in with an SO, I don't want anything to fuck it up.
Posted by tizianiWe talked about it this weekend. I think we both are feeling the same way. Saving money and working towards home ownership is #1.
Then it sounds like you're enjoying things how they are?
As long as you both feel the same way, no problem right?
I'm still gonna look at rentals in case something comes up, but I'm not holding my breath.
I kinda like only seeing him on the weekends. Allows me to focus on work and myself.
Also there is something to be said for spending time apart. You get to look forward to seeing the person.
Also there is something to be said for spending time apart. You get to look forward to seeing the person.
Posted by tizianiIt feels like a step back. Although logically it isn't, it's just feeling that way.Posted by LadyNeptune
I kinda like only seeing him on the weekends. Allows me to focus on work and myself.
Also there is something to be said for spending time apart. You get to look forward to seeing the person.
Personally, I can't relate to that view. But a lot of people do. Relationships are all so different, I guess. As long as you both feel the same way.
I never look at living together as a relationship milestone. I think it's a choice, unless there are obvious factors to consider like raising a new family and being accountable parents.click to expand
Posted by leowwwDefinitely good scary. I was already lost in my head dreaming up what it would look like.Posted by LadyNeptuneI think some of us are comfortable in our own little routines and the thought of change sometimes is scary.
I kinda like only seeing him on the weekends. Allows me to focus on work and myself.
Also there is something to be said for spending time apart. You get to look forward to seeing the person.
As in if it ain't broken...
Maybe good scary is good though?
Keep your options open, maybe once you find something that accommodates you better you might be more excited & feeling warm about the idea of it.
I value my Independence, I can relate.
click to expand
Posted by coffeetimeIn a year we each would be able to purchase our own (separate) place. Mutual ownership is something we would need to discuss. But yes, reaching that goal is huge for both of us.
That does sound challenging. Although it does sound like the practical aspect has more points on it than the emotional aspect. Will the step to homeownership be mutually owning the place?
Posted by coffeetimeThis will never not be a fear of mine —
Unless there's really something unacceptable where you live now, saving up to own your place sounds like a great idea. At least you'll both be secure knowing you own your own place, and will save more money for future investments. Also, when you decide to own a place together, you can consider renting out one of the places while staying in the other.
It sounds like by having space from each other also keeps the sparks alive. Some relationships lose that when people begin living together.
But at the end of the day, go with what you're most comfortable with. ^__^
How important is sex to you ?
Posted by brianafayPretty important. Why?
How important is sex to you ?
Posted by lady_chatterleyOh I definitely want to move in with him. Yes the idea is scary but I feel like once I do it'll give me a good idea if this relationship has lasting longevity.
If you can wait it out, I would. 12 months isn't that long of a wait. It'll go by quick!
Honestly, if you're looking to buy a place I would start looking now or learning the market now. It took us 1 year to find what we were looking for and then it took us a month to negotiate closing costs and once we had the inspection report we had to decide which items we wanted the buyer to upgrade/repair and the upgrades/repairs took another month. I would say after about half a year of searching, we were finally getting to really know the market and fine tune what our desires were. We got to know which real estate agencies priced their deals 10% higher, which helped us determine actual prices compared to the rest of the buildings, and gave us room to negotiate down to comparable prices.
But back to prioritizing. 🙂
I would say go with your goals first. Then you'll be able to solely focus on the decision of whether or not to live with your Gem without having to factor in rent increase. At this point it's a cost consideration as well as do I want to live with this person. Once you own, then it's more of do I really want to live with this person consideration.
But at this point I'm leaning towards practicality. Its gonna make the whole experience much more enjoyable if we both have our financial ducks in a row.
Posted by coffeetimeLove this idea btw. Thanks!
Unless there's really something unacceptable where you live now, saving up to own your place sounds like a great idea. At least you'll both be secure knowing you own your own place, and will save more money for future investments. Also, when you decide to own a place together, you can consider renting out one of the places while staying in the other.
It sounds like by having space from each other also keeps the sparks alive. Some relationships lose that when people begin living together.
But at the end of the day, go with what you're most comfortable with. ^__^
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by brianafayPretty important. Why?
How important is sex to you ?click to expand
Wellllp take your time moving in together ?
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeNo. Dating since Oct 2015
are you married?
Posted by LadyNeptune
Been second guessing moving in with my Gem. Looking for places together has taught us that we will need to up our budget significantly to get everything we both want in a rental. We are both on track to be able to purchase something in the next year if we stay at our current rentals which are dirt cheap. Whereas if we move in together than we will be spending significantly more and waiting much longer to purchase.
Prioritize relationship vs. prioritize goals. Idk...just thinking out loud.
It's a smart investment. I think marriage is a partnership, a business even.
We aren't married @lunabee
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeI don't know that I want to get married period. And we would be purchasing separately most likely.Posted by LadyNeptunedont move in together or buy a house unless you're marriedPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeNo. Dating since Oct 2015
are you married?click to expand
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeenot kids. companionship.Posted by LadyNeptuneOK whats the point of this relationship againPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeI don't know that I want to get married period. And we would be purchasing separately most likely.Posted by LadyNeptunedont move in together or buy a house unless you're marriedPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeNo. Dating since Oct 2015
are you married?click to expand
whats the point of any relationship? the search for happiness.
Posted by ChrisIsKodakwhy creation?Posted by LadyNeptune
whats the point of any relationship? the creation for happiness.click to expand
Posted by Lunabeeread through the rest of the threadPosted by LadyNeptune
We aren't married @lunabee
Do you want to marry him?
click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptuneShit. If you have to tell me that.Posted by Lunabeeread through the rest of the threadPosted by LadyNeptune
We aren't married @lunabee
Do you want to marry him?
click to expand
dont make big decisions until after the venus retrograde
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Like in the beginning of dating...
First off I'm a Sag, he's a Gem, we have amazing chemistry, and really love each other deeply because we were friends before we started dating. BUT, lately he's been pissing me off quite a lot. He's lazy within the relationship a lot of times, never reall
If you are seeing a Gemini and feel as though things are kinda sliding into friendship territory but still attracted to each other? Is this normal? What causes this? If anyone experienced such a thing ?
My Gemini and I got into our first argument and it resulted in me telling her I can't trust her and I don't know if I see a future for us. I calmed down and realized although she was definitely wrong, maybe I was being a bit dramatic and should've been mo
How many of you gems are bar stars? Seems to go with the personality of all the attention required! lol My bf USED to be one. Oh the things you discover as you get to know each other. Feel odd dating one, as I consider barstars not necessarily cool, but w
My top three picks
Virgo, Pisces, Gemini (in no particular order)
.... followed by Leo (When the top 3 are in love, they forget about the ego. Leos would do anything for you except when it hurts their ego.)
What is your pick?
I hv a pretty interesting story. I hope you will enjoy it and give me some helpful feedback.
I currently work in a foreign country, of arabic origin. Im in a creative field and l hv a management position. My boss, who is younger with 6 years than me, is
So me and this Gemini are friends with benefits. Are gems prone, to catching feelings? We just started. While we were intimate he was extremely gentle and he even asked asked me if I was okay. And gave me a kiss and a hug. When I left.
Has another Valentine's Day come and passed without that special someone?
Are you a Libra Moon and tired of the long walk home after another hook up that didn't turn into relationship? Do you have Aries placements and keep on failing Anger Management c
***UPDATE: first of all thank you to everyone for their comments/thoughts on this topic which was posted seperately. This is a continuation to my other post which describes the story from the start.
I decided to take a 2 week trip around Europe for my
male and female responses pls
serious thread. as a double gem (Gemini moon and sun) do I come across like one? in your own view, how do I come across on these boards? now a lot of you knows me famously as miss everlynn and tbc. but for those new ones who don't know me let me introduce
Anyone can help me with interpretation of my chart? Some insight please
Planetary Positions
Planet Degree and Sign House
Sun 03°49' Gemini 1
Moon 03°17' Leo 4
Mercury 18°38' Taurus 12/1
Venus 19°38' Aries 12
Mars 19°42' Gemini 2
Bat sh*t crazy...
Give me your feedback! My gem is begging me to move in. We spend pretty much everyday together...happily. I am just a slow moving bull.
Typically I think most people wait half a year?!! But sometimes you don't need to put numbers on things. My bestfrie
Well to start off my gem or ex gem........I really like this woman.She believed I was being unfaithful to her.I wasn't.I showed her proof as in emails that were sent from a service representive that looked into my account.I emailed said company numerous t
What are your thoughts on this aspect?
I have gem moon in 8
He has gem moon in 5
Gems always come back .. Whether it's a friendship or relationship .. It never fails .. At least not with me
First off I'm a Sagittarius sun Aquarius moon, and my boyfriend is a Gemini sun Aquarius moon. If you want any other aspects just ask. Anyway, we haven't been together that long, about a year (on and off) but before our relationship started we were close
Libras, my question is, do you ladies think that it's best to be in a relationship with a Libra once she is older ? Closer to 30 ?
I know Gemini's aren't into being locked down lol but I'm starting to see the pattern with Libras too.
The three Libras I
Prioritize relationship vs. prioritize goals. Idk...just thinking out loud.