Is it really over?!?

I have to make a post like this..except my situation is terrible in comparison.

Posted by jellybaby
I have supported him a lot and been there for him, even more than his own family has.

I am waiting to hear from him. I don't want to keep contacting him because I know he needs space but I fear he won't contact me again.

I want things to progress with him & I know I have to respect what he wants too.

His actions don't match his words....face to face he's so sweet & kind but hes said all that to me. I don't want to go on like a broken record, but I would appreciate some advice.

yeah it sounds like he don't want to hurt your feelings face to face.

i'm contemptous of those types. Just tell me straight you don't want a relationship, don't let it drag on and on and on, making someone suffer.

if you know his actions already, that's enough isn't it??

why do you need words?

walk away from this. live your life and be happy.

What I meant by that was - his actions when we are together are that is he very affectionate. Always pulling me close to him. Cuddling and holding me.

But then his words are that he's not ready for marriage etc. And be harsh to me when we argued.

So why be sweet but then say the complete opposite. I felt like some things he said out of anger.

Posted by jellybaby
What I meant by that was - his actions when we are together are that is he very affectionate. Always pulling me close to him. Cuddling and holding me.

But then his words are that he's not ready for marriage etc. And be harsh to me when we argued.

So why be sweet but then say the complete opposite. I felt like some things he said out of anger.

why does it confuse you?? he sounds like a baby boy.

not a man.

when you see him next time, wear this:

Lol that is a cool top!

Posted by jellybaby

He should of spoken to me about it before.

And what exactly do you mean by "it"?

Posted by jellybaby

He was very tired and stressed out and I felt like a nag cos recently I felt like he wasn't paying me much attention.

You've admittedly been nagging him of late. To be "a" nag isn't an isolated incident, or you would have stated it was a one-time act. You actually said that you were being "a" nag, which indicates a continuous action. To be "a" anything is identifying a current action.

So, the reality here is that you're being a bitch to him, and he doesn't like it. So, he decides that he'll take a pass on you for a while to concentrate on his career.

You come in here and say bullshit like, "out of the blue" ... when in reality, it's false. Because you've known the whole time that being a bitch to him because you aren't being pampered enough (which indicates that you're trying to dump your insecurities off onto him), would drive him away. And you can't handle the truth of your own actions, so you're taking out on him.

To be nagging him because you have emotional issues that you can't handle, so then taking it out on him ..... him having a bad taste in his mouth about you because of it, is NOT an "out of blue" reaction by him. Quite the opposite. A person in a 4-year relationship doesn't make any move out of the blue, considering he's been participating in the tango as it developed.

Posted by jellybaby

He was very tired and stressed out and I felt like a nag cos recently I felt like he wasn't paying me much attention.

.....he said to me that we are different and he wants to focus on his career. He said he shouldn't be with anyone and I should move on. He said he's not ready for marriage as he wants to focus on work. It was all out the blue. We have been planning our future together.

Obviously I was shocked. I said to him if we are married I wouldn't stop you from chasing your dreams & our future would be good. He said he's not ready and wants to work on his career and that I get jealous of him being with his friends.

click to expand

In reality, his actions actually match his words. He tells you point blank that he is g

In reality, his actions actually match his words. He tells you point blank that he is going to pull away from you and focus on another path in his life. He tells you that he can't handle your jealousy. And you told us, twice actually, that you're being a nag to him. The only reason for you to make a justification as to why you're being a bitch, is likely due to him making reference about it to you, and you are defending yourself. Otherwise, there's no reason to say it to us because we wouldn't be the wiser.

So, this all boils down to - you've been dumping all of your emotional bullshit onto him and excepting him to overlook it, this is why you're feigning ignorance. You realize that he isn't going to take your shit, so you twist it around to make it look like you're a victim of circumstance. The facts are, as you've told relayed to us - he actually told you where you stand, as he was walking away.

He is such a gentlemen, that when he told you and sent you home .... he made one final contact to you in the morning to make sure you got home safe.






Grow up to realize that he's (or any other person) not responsible for holding your hand when you're being a crybaby. There's a difference between needing to get emotions out on a supportive shoulder .. and nagging the man because you're emotionally immature.

Posted by lisabethur8
when you see him next time, wear this:

And I completely disagree.


He was the man. He told her exactly what he is doing and why he is doing it.

It's a person's right to decide on what partner they want to share their life with .... for him to decide to end his relationship with her doesn't make him any less of a man.

















.

I haven't dumped anything on him. I never ask attention off him. I let him get on with his day. I get on with mine. He goes out with his friends. I don't cling on to him whilst he's out and asking for attention.

It was just this one time where I felt like he was avoiding me so I spoke up about it. That's why I felt like a nag. It's not a constant thing.

I'm not even jealous. That was the first time he had ever said that to me. And he only said it because I spoke about making a little more effort. If he wants to go out with his friends then so what he can do whatever he likes.

Can I not speak about what's on my mind to my own bf. If I feel like he's avoiding me am I just meant to keep it to myself. I hardly even get emotional. It was that one time.

By 'it' I meant talking about marriage as he stated he wasn't ready.

Yes I shouldn't of been inconsiderate but then he shouldn't of been so harsh.

@P, i see your point, but i just disagree that he has to cuddle and kiss her when he sees her. it gives her mixed messages.

i don't think that's right. if he doesn't want her, then don't do that.

Posted by lisabethur8
@P, i see your point, but i just disagree that he has to cuddle and kiss her when he sees her. it gives her mixed messages.

i don't think that's right. if he doesn't want her, then don't do that.

Exactly. That's why I'm so confused as to if he really means any of this.

Posted by lisabethur8

..... that he has to cuddle and kiss her when he sees her. it gives her mixed messages.

i don't think that's right. if he doesn't want her, then don't do that.

It's only mixed messages to immature women, with little, if any experience and wisdom. Whereas the mature, wise and experienced woman realizes that she is the exact person she represents herself to be - so, if she is laying herself vulnerable to a guy who is willing to take the goods with no strings attached ... then that's HER bad, not his.

It's the woman's job to decide how she is going to be treated.

And who said he doesn't want her? I'll bet he takes a dip every single fucking time they are alone. That is the opposite of wanting her.

She has made it perfectly clear to this guy that the milk is free, for the taking - respect isn't in the equation to her, unless he wants to include it. which he doesn't .. but, she is still there opening her legs to him.

This woman has been carrying on in dxp for some time now, whining about how she doesn't like the way he decides her fate. And shows zero interest in actually taking responsibility for herself.

I literally am unable to understand how her behavior can be endorsed.

tbh, from the way I read this, it sounds like she is one giving mixed messages. EVERY time she lets him have her, eventhough it's against her principals, according to what her tongue says .... then that means she is telling him "no", while he's fucking her.

If you don't want it, then get down on your knees and suck him off .... then YOU are the one fucked up in your world, not him ... he's getting a blow job with no strings attached.


How is anyone incapable of this realization when you come in here with bullshit like hers? Her life is HER choice. period. Everything he does to her, is because she lets him. So, that means that SHE is the one at fault, if it's fucked up.

How is it that people cannot comprehend that? A form of retardation? What? idk

Posted by lisabethur8

..... that he has to cuddle and kiss her when he sees her. it gives her mixed messages.

i don't think that's right. if he doesn't want her, then don't do that.

It's only mixed messages to immature women, with little, if any experience and wisdom. Whereas the mature, wise and experienced woman realizes that she is the exact person she represents herself to be - so, if she is laying herself vulnerable to a guy who is willing to take the goods with no strings attached ... then that's HER bad, not his.

It's the woman's job to decide how she is going to be treated.

And who said he doesn't want her? I'll bet he takes a dip every single fucking time they are alone. That is the opposite of wanting her.

She has made it perfectly clear to this guy that the milk is free, for the taking - respect isn't in the equation to her, unless he wants to include it. which he doesn't .. but, she is still there opening her legs to him.

This woman has been carrying on in dxp for some time now, whining about how she doesn't like the way he decides her fate. And shows zero interest in actually taking responsibility for herself.

I literally am unable to understand how her behavior can be endorsed.

tbh, from the way I read this, it sounds like she is one giving mixed messages. EVERY time she lets him have her, eventhough it's against her principals, according to what her tongue says .... then that means she is telling him "no", while he's fucking her.

If you don't want it, then get down on your knees and suck him off .... then YOU are the one fucked up in your world, not him ... he's getting a blow job with no strings attached.


How is anyone incapable of this realization when you come in here with bullshit like hers? Her life is HER choice. period. Everything he does to her, is because she lets him. So, that means that SHE is the one at fault, if it's fucked up.

How is it that people cannot comprehend that? A form of retardation? What? idk

@P,

keeping it REAL. I can definitely understand that POV.

sometimes us ladies forget, a man can take whatever he wants if he's allowed.