It amazes me .... (Page 2)

Posted by Amandus

I don't think the amount of attraction matters.

Jason, this thread is about the women (and they are plenty) who go into a relationship without an attraction ... they go into it because the guy initiates it.

Then once the girl is in it .. she develops unrealistic expectations, believing that if the guy wanted her initially, then he must love her. She then becomes extremely disillusioned and confused because she can't figure out where the problem is.

and the problem is that she had no initial attraction to him, she is only there because he wooed her, charmed her .... and most times, he's doing that for butt.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by Amandus

I don't think the amount of attraction matters.

Jason, this thread is about the women (and they are plenty) who go into a relationship without an attraction ... they go into it because the guy initiates it.

click to expand

Yeah, I went through the whole thread before posting. I should've read my post ten times over because I didn't word it well enough to explain my thoughts. That first sentence implied that I did not agree with or was not aware of the truth that was already explained. But I am aware of it and I do agree with it.

I only meant to stress that whats more important is become stronger.

is too become****

Posted by Lib911

Posted by P-Angel


Here's a clue - don't date the guy unless it was YOUR initial attraction.

::: shakes head :::

Most of the successful marriages I know started off with little or no attraction. It started off as friendship. I think that the one where you fall for the guy hard because the chemistry on your side is too strong, is actually the most dangerous one.

click to expand

this might sound like an arranged marriage. You fall into a "friendship" mode, live for your family and there's no sexual attraction but after awhile you get "used" to them, because they are so nice and they provide you with so much and that is sometimes in the form of loyalty. Loyalty is an aphrodiasiac. It just helps alot. But ....you never know.... i'm imagining all sorts of bad things in the future w/ this kind of scenerio. Man doesn't have sexual attraction so he goes off and finds someone else who "provides" that for him. Something like that. Or he can be, if you're lucky, super lazy and just accepts who they got. Yeah i read alot of romance books.

Posted by starlover
it amazes me how many women there are who are with a man.......per se

unless you intend to carry on populating the planet, what else can men offer?

most women in relationships are fecking miserable, have little or no romantic/sex lives yet stay anyway

what is the point of that?


lol

men are so cuddly wuddly though. They keep you warm and safe at night. ^___^

Posted by starlover
...do they? lol

i am not in need of that at all, it doesnt compensate for all the other bullshit that they bring. I am meeting women that are sabotaging huge parts of themselves just to be in a relationship

am so relieved to be freeee!

😄

Lol

you gotta "handle" it with care. lmao.

Some of these men are HOT to handle. hehee. Caution! Men at work. Should read Women at work.

here, starlover! Aries man for you HOT to handle.




^_~

Awwww Star I have been saying that too, that they don't interest me at the moment. Cause I've been

burned and that's my reaction.

But I am just kidding myself, I love men.

They are cuddly, wuddly. I just wish you didn't have to weed thru the jerks, to get to cuddly, wuddly.

Guy I work with just left to go home and help wife with Christmas chores, cooking, etc, not one

complaint out of his mouth. Nice guy!!

LOL. Omg. I'm glad I don't miss men when there is none around.

*DEEP BREATH*

Posted by P-Angel
and now she has all these unrealistic expectations

I completely have to own up to this one. It was a hard lesson. I can't say I have ever been with someone I wasn't instantly attracted to, but I have been in relationships with those who I knew things weren't going to be right with (for various reasons that we wouldn't work out either consciously or subconsciously). I think this was for many the same reasons as someone who entered into something without attraction.

Quick side-note though, the expectations one was HARD for me to face and get past. I realized I created stories in my head of how I thoughts things would go, behaviors I wanted to see from them and then I was let down when those things weren't happening.

I think this is behind me, think being the key word. "The best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior" and I have been trying to be very in touch with my motivations for doing certain things.

My most recent relationship didn't work out which I am sad about, but I was VERY good about being conscious of making sure I was always seeing him for HIM and not letting the crazy lady expectations get the best of me, More importantly, pinpointing the reasons I would try to create them. And yes, they most often stem from insecurities.

To speak to being in relationships I knew weren't right (again not attraction for me per say, but I think this still applies), I wasn't happy with just me. I needed the validation of a man, I needed the reassurance of a man.

I do have a lot of abandonment issues. For a long time I feel like all the men I have ever loved have left me.... my father when I was young, my fiance died when I was in my EARLY 20s and recently my only brother died. I am constantly finding myself searching for that steadfast man I can count on, but reminding myself every time I do, that I have to learn to stand alone.

It would be nice to have someone there to catch me when I fall, but I don't HAVE to have it. I have also had to address my inner demons of putting the weight of those previous issues on new men.

I do have issues. I am working on them. I am not perfect, but that doesn't make me a doormat, it makes me someone in progress. I don't want to lay down at the feet of men, but I am still learning to allow ME to set ME free from the bonds I allowed to reign/wreck havoc in my life for all

Cont*

for all too long.

i like this thread. you women are terrible and thats why you're the lesser sex. i think p angel is on to something.

you women build up your own image of a guy your attracted to or with. This image suits your own ego and then you drown in your fantasy, ha ha. theres a lot of factors why you women pick the bum you're with but i think the main ones are,

You're afraid of loneliness
Your ego
Stupidity
Money
Emotions?

You women can blame the guy but its you women who do the cherry picking. if some of you ladies find someone bearable, good for you. if you find you have to make large sacrifices to make the guy bearable, you should have an exorcism performed on you or fall on a spear or something. i applaud you women who snap out of your poisonous fantasy early because you save yourself and come out smarter. Then Mr. Right(who is he) will have that chance with you.