LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts
Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Ladies, if you have to ask a man, "So what are we?" or "Where is this relationship going?"...
I need to start a business selling cats......I'll be rich.
Although in essence you're right, this doesn't apply to the shy guys or introverted. We have take them into account.
To those answering yes, do you consider yourselves feminists?
The OP is a huge generalization and ignores many circumstances, such as financial issues, that may lead to holding off on proposals. Not to mention, men can be just as unsure. The questions in the OP are not ones that only women ask.
I agree with Scenic and Aqua09.
Not all men chase, and not all men will propose to a woman they love.
Buy if a woman is asking those questions of such a man repeatedly, then they're not compatible and the same solution applies...leave him alone and find someone else more aligned with your relationship goals.
Not all men chase, and not all men will propose to a woman they love.
Buy if a woman is asking those questions of such a man repeatedly, then they're not compatible and the same solution applies...leave him alone and find someone else more aligned with your relationship goals.
Posted by LadyNeptuneOr, he might be a Virgo? It's not fair that men get to have all the good time. I prefer hunting, it's more fun! © I don't ask "what are we?" I tell him what we are. If he resists, I just remind him again another day.
The answer is nowhere.
Men by nature are hunters and go after what they want. If he wanted you to be his wife, he would have proposed. If he wanted you to be his lady, he would have asked you.
Men go hard for what they truly want. If he is not going hard for you, you are not what he wants.
Posted by ScenicLook. Sigh. It's not about a proposal or the social status of a ring.
The OP is a huge generalization and ignores many circumstances, such as financial issues, that may lead to holding off on proposals. Not to mention, men can be just as unsure. The questions in the OP are not ones that only women ask.
My point is that a man, a real man mind you not an insecure boy, will make it known to you that he's interested. He will make his presence known to you and will let you know just how important you are in his life.
Tired of every other topic on here being about women chasing after guys that just aren't that into them.
*end rant space.
Why can't either make a choice to love each other/enjoy each others company on a daily basis?
I think the point is that if the relationship is working, you don't need to ask "what are we".
Posted by KsamCancerChivalry is a misused word.
Its 2015, yet bishes want to use chivalry when it benefits them
Posted by HeartFor me money isnt everything. I dont care if I guy doesnt have much as if they are a great guy and we love each other then that' all that matters. I wouldnt want a rich man who could give me everything materially but was cold and didnt show love.Posted by AmaraPWell it depends what the person wants. But you have the husband who provides everything but offers no love or affection. You can have chivalry and equality, all it takes is a little balance.Posted by HeartI've not had that happen to me. Ive had it the other way that men try and find out how much I earn, how much debt I have, do I own a home....These days men DO WANT a woman with money as they dont want to provide everything.
What? From what I notice today it's the opposite. Men are asleep at the wheel when it comes to showing their feelings. Most guys who've liked me didn't bother saying anything. . Apparently if you have a career and you're own money they think you don't need them. A lot of men treat themselves like banks and value themselves in a way that's flawed and superficial.
That means if women should have money, then men need to get in tune with their feelings.click to expand
But one has to be realistic. Sweet nothings wont put a roof over your head or feed you both. I would marry a guy who had nothing either and was irresponsible with money.
I would also want to keep working, I would hate to be a housewife. So I'm always going to earn my own money.
Posted by AmaraPThis is appropriate once the relationship gets more serious, however, if they ask this in the beginning, it's a big ole red flag.Posted by HeartI've not had that happen to me. Ive had it the other way that men try and find out how much I earn, how much debt I have, do I own a home....These days men DO WANT a woman with money as they dont want to provide everything.
What? From what I notice today it's the opposite. Men are asleep at the wheel when it comes to showing their feelings. Most guys who've liked me didn't bother saying anything. . Apparently if you have a career and you're own money they think you don't need them. A lot of men treat themselves like banks and value themselves in a way that's flawed and superficial.click to expand
Posted by AmaraPIt makes sense to me. I wouldn't want to go into a relationship with a financially unstable/irresponsible person.Posted by Infinite8I shit you not!Posted by AmaraPWow... How unromantic.Posted by HeartI've not had that happen to me. Ive had it the other way that men try and find out how much I earn, how much debt I have, do I own a home....These days men DO WANT a woman with money as they dont want to provide everything.
What? From what I notice today it's the opposite. Men are asleep at the wheel when it comes to showing their feelings. Most guys who've liked me didn't bother saying anything. . Apparently if you have a career and you're own money they think you don't need them. A lot of men treat themselves like banks and value themselves in a way that's flawed and superficial.
One of them I met online, in our first phone call before we met, he asked if I owned a house.
The next one asked how much I earned and if I had any debt...all within a couple of dates. And he was a Pisces who are not supposed to care about material things. The Pisces guy i realized was atrocious with money and spent every cent he earned which is why he couldnt afford his own condo. So he is going to need a woman who earns money as he could barely support himself.click to expand
^^^
I'm referring to the bit about asking. It may seem crass, but it's logical to me.
I'm referring to the bit about asking. It may seem crass, but it's logical to me.
Posted by LillyPetalSure but in a call before you've even met yet? Ask if someone owns a house?
^^^
I'm referring to the bit about asking. It may seem crass, but it's logical to me.
Posted by AmaraPWhy not? Cut to the chase - it'll save you both on words, energy, time, and gas money. Since you opened the door to the topic, you discovered HIS bad financial standing, and that saved you from paying for his dinner. I don't see a downside here.Posted by LillyPetalSure but in a call before you've even met yet? Ask if someone owns a house?
^^^
I'm referring to the bit about asking. It may seem crass, but it's logical to me.click to expand
*since HE opened the door...
Posted by LillyPetalYou're mixing the guys up. He wasnt in bad financial situation and nor was I.
*since HE opened the door...
The next one was.
Owning a house doesnt indicate how much money you have. You may own a house but owe $ 250,000 on a mortgage and be struggling to pay it.
Posted by AmaraPOf course, finances 101. Which is why the smart questions should be asked. And it must have provided you both with some level of mental security knowing the other was in good financial standing. Again, I personally fail to see the downside to this conversation being had early and honestly.Posted by LillyPetalYou're mixing the guys up. He wasnt in bad financial situation and nor was I.
*since HE opened the door...
The next one was.
Owning a house doesnt indicate how much money you have. You may own a house but owe $ 250,000 on a mortgage and be struggling to pay it.click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptuneNot everyone is like that. Some people don't even realize that it needs to be said. Some are the opposite, they need everything to be spoken out. And what side you are on doesn't have to do with gender.Posted by ScenicLook. Sigh. It's not about a proposal or the social status of a ring.
The OP is a huge generalization and ignores many circumstances, such as financial issues, that may lead to holding off on proposals. Not to mention, men can be just as unsure. The questions in the OP are not ones that only women ask.
My point is that a man, a real man mind you not an insecure boy, will make it known to you that he's interested. He will make his presence known to you and will let you know just how important you are in his life.
Tired of every other topic on here being about women chasing after guys that just aren't that into them.
*end rant space.click to expand
And those people who chase those who aren't interested in them are just a small portion of those who can relate to what you said in OP. If you wanted to target them specifically, you should have made that more clear.
Look @scenic I can say whatever I damn well please. Dis is my topic.
Posted by LadyNeptuneChill. I wasn't being rude
Look @scenic I can say whatever I damn well please. Dis is my topic.
Not just guys can be insecure - girls can also be insecure and not see or be sure of the signals the guy or girl is sending. And/or maybe you are the slow, careful type who needs a lot of time to determine whether he or she is for you. I believe the OP's statement is probably true most of the time, but far from all the time.
Posted by DatariesgirlI disagree. Certainty by both parties does not equate a stable relationship nor does it guarantee a relationship's better chance at success.Posted by GobshiteTrue...Posted by cheekyfaerieYes, it all boils down to insecurities (with a dash of selfishness thrown in).
I get the sentiment. Every relationship is different, but some things should be in the same ball park. If it's a healthy one, both parties should feel secure. In that, if you have to wonder or worry, there's almost definitely a problem.click to expand
sometimes the question has to be asked though. i'm not sure op's opposition is to women who chase or women who ask. i see nothing wrong with asking after an appropriate amount of time has passed. sometimes it is useful to ask to make sure you're on the same page. if you're interested in eventually getting married and having children and he isn't, isn't it better to ask? the alternative is assuming, getting years down the road only to find out they had a different idea.
the ideal situation is that it doesn't have to blatantly prodded out of the person but it is learnt through the natural course of getting to know someone.
the ideal situation is that it doesn't have to blatantly prodded out of the person but it is learnt through the natural course of getting to know someone.
Posted by jeaneand the opposite applies too. it's not always women looking for the ring and the nursery.
sometimes the question has to be asked though. i'm not sure op's opposition is to women who chase or women who ask. i see nothing wrong with asking after an appropriate amount of time has passed. sometimes it is useful to ask to make sure you're on the same page. if you're interested in eventually getting married and having children and he isn't, isn't it better to ask? the alternative is assuming, getting years down the road only to find out they had a different idea.
the ideal situation is that it doesn't have to blatantly prodded out of the person but it is learnt through the natural course of getting to know someone.
Posted by LadyNeptuneWomen who doubt ^^^ that, should not date. Good ole common sense.... 🙂
The answer is nowhere.
Men by nature are hunters and go after what they want. If he wanted you to be his wife, he would have proposed. If he wanted you to be his lady, he would have asked you.
Men go hard for what they truly want. If he is not going hard for you, you are not what he wants.
Posted by jeaneThe point of the thread (and OP correct me if I'm mistaken), is you wouldn't need to ask, because it's been communicated (key word) the guy's intention.
i see nothing wrong with asking after an appropriate amount of time has passed.
sometimes it is useful to ask to make sure you're on the same page.
if you're interested in eventually getting married and having children and he isn't, isn't it better to ask?
"appropriate amount of time" = EXPECTATION & DEMAND. A real man who really wants you will not allow you to get to that point...IF he wants you.
Posted by LetltBIrregardless of who does the asking, my point here is that you would know that your dude is feeling you because of how he treats you/what he says etc.Posted by jeaneThe point of the thread (and OP correct me if I'm mistaken), is you wouldn't need to ask, because it's been communicated (key word) the guy's intention.
i see nothing wrong with asking after an appropriate amount of time has passed.
sometimes it is useful to ask to make sure you're on the same page.
if you're interested in eventually getting married and having children and he isn't, isn't it better to ask?
"appropriate amount of time" = EXPECTATION & DEMAND. A real man who really wants you will not allow you to get to that point...IF he wants you.click to expand
You'd be in no doubt of his intentions because he is eager to lock you down and make you his. If your left wondering, "what are we?" than his interest is fleeting or you are simply a side chick.
Posted by LadyNeptuneYep...got it the first time around. No brainer.Posted by LetltBIrregardless of who does the asking, my point here is that you would know that your dude is feeling you because of how he treats you/what he says etc.Posted by jeaneThe point of the thread (and OP correct me if I'm mistaken), is you wouldn't need to ask, because it's been communicated (key word) the guy's intention.
i see nothing wrong with asking after an appropriate amount of time has passed.
sometimes it is useful to ask to make sure you're on the same page.
if you're interested in eventually getting married and having children and he isn't, isn't it better to ask?
"appropriate amount of time" = EXPECTATION & DEMAND. A real man who really wants you will not allow you to get to that point...IF he wants you.
You'd be in no doubt of his intentions because he is eager to lock you down and make you his. If your left wondering, "what are we?" than his interest is fleeting or you are simply a side chick.click to expand
I agree LadyNeptune. My husband has shy, "roundabout" tendencies but he initiated our relationship and proposed less than one year into us being "official."
Yeah. Men go for what they want. If they're not going for it, they don't know.
Yeah. Men go for what they want. If they're not going for it, they don't know.
I will say that I think it's completely acceptable for either party to be unsure of things in the early days of dating. Only fools are 100% certain 100% of the time. Questioning is normal and healthy and important.
Posted by LadyNeptunehe might make you his but that doesn't automatically mean he has he same life plan as you. surely you're not advocating against communication?Posted by LetltBIrregardless of who does the asking, my point here is that you would know that your dude is feeling you because of how he treats you/what he says etc.Posted by jeaneThe point of the thread (and OP correct me if I'm mistaken), is you wouldn't need to ask, because it's been communicated (key word) the guy's intention.
i see nothing wrong with asking after an appropriate amount of time has passed.
sometimes it is useful to ask to make sure you're on the same page.
if you're interested in eventually getting married and having children and he isn't, isn't it better to ask?
"appropriate amount of time" = EXPECTATION & DEMAND. A real man who really wants you will not allow you to get to that point...IF he wants you.
You'd be in no doubt of his intentions because he is eager to lock you down and make you his. If your left wondering, "what are we?" than his interest is fleeting or you are simply a side chick.click to expand
plus a lot of people like to go with the flow and see where things head. i don't want to be locked down immediately (commitments make me nervous) and thank god, neither did my partner. i wanted to get to know him without putting a label straight away or have lots of demands of each other. not everyone goes at the same speed from first kiss to serious relationship and knows exactly where it is headed at the start.
Posted by duchesslibroAbsolutely. And who really is 100% about anything?
I will say that I think it's completely acceptable for either party to be unsure of things in the early days of dating. Only fools are 100% certain 100% of the time. Questioning is normal and healthy and important.
But like you said, your husband made sure you knew of his interest even at the beginning. Cause if your feeling someone you gotta lock em down so no one else sweats your chick.
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Men by nature are hunters and go after what they want. If he wanted you to be his wife, he would have proposed. If he wanted you to be his lady, he would have asked you.
Men go hard for what they truly want. If he is not going hard for you, you are not what he wants.