My friend + married man = sex (Page 3)

Posted by krysrenee7
@Milano: Ignore P-Angel. If you feed into it, that demon will just continue & next thing you know you look silly for having an off topic full blown argument with some anonymous internet thug/bully who's never met you a day in his/her life. Explaining yourself to a person who isn't here to offer any constructive criticism, but instead to assassinate character is a waste of your time. He/she may get off on it, but you'll notice their attempts to verbally assassinate you will get much stronger once they see you've ignored them for good. Kill them with kindness. It'll drive em crazy!!!

Now back to the topic...Look. Don't be naive to think that your friend doesn't know what she's doing. If she's been down this road before than she knows the risks & odds are NOT in her favor & you might just have to accept that she's willing to take those risks.

She's not some helpless victim to manipulation. If sleeping with men who are taken has become her "thing" then she has chosen to live that life style . So all the "talks" in the world won't change a thing. Trust me, behind closed doors, she probably has moments where she's just as critical & judgmental of herself more than anyone on the outside could be!

If you hadn't ever told her how you feel before, then I'd encourage you to speak up. But if you have before, then giving your 2 cents now would be a waste of time. You know the inevitable is coming. You know one day she's going to call you in tears needing your shoulder to cry on. You know that it's not a matter of "if" but WHEN!

If I were you, I'd just put some space & distance b/w you two. Action is the best way to get someone's attention. Tell her that what she's doing is affecting how you feel about her & that you feel it's best to put some space b/w you two. If that's not what she wants and IF you are important to her, she won't necessarily break it off with him, BUT she will at least get the final hint to stop talking about it

Thanks for the constructive advice. 🙂 Just want to point out that she has never had an affair with someone married, or otherwise taken, before.
In the not so far past, she did express a dislike for people who do such things (yet here we are.) Right now there is space between us, and I'll wait for her to come to me. Then we'll see if she still will bring him up.

Ok enough already. Come back after you follow the bastard home, figure out who his wife is and have told his wife what's going on. THAT'S THE SOLUTION. You can whine all day..clearly it's not doing any good.

Just post a picture of they guy already 😛

You need to tell her you're through with her until she unshittifies her sense of integrity.

And block her and ignore her until she does.

@Milano: Sorry. I could've sworn that you said she's done stuff like this in the past. Perhaps I interpreted your original post the wrong way.

Again, just make sure you're doing your part b/c you are the only one you can control. None of us can control our friends, & just b/c we can't doesn't mean that we should turn into selfish narcissists who drop people all b/c we can't control them wtf lol

If what she's doing to someone else is deal breaking & changes how you feel about her personally, then don't feel bad about that b/c that's technically fair for you to feel that way. If a friend of mine hurt a child or robbed a bank I'd have every right to be personally affected even though the harm wasn't specifically or personally done to me.

Hell, the same happens in the news every day. We feel sorry for people who get hurt. We feel anger towards the people who cause harm to others, even though we technically weren't harmed ourselves or technically weren't the one's whose houses got blown away by a hurricane. Other's actions will & have always affected us, even if their daggers weren't directly & specifically pointed at us. Human nature.

However, if you still want to be her friend despite being repulsed by her actions, then don't feel bad about that either, b/c that is technically just as fair. 99% of us have or have had a friend who isn't an angel.

Either way though, you're gonna have to stop crying wolf. If you don't wanna hear about it, hang up the phone, switch the subject or if you have to go to the extreme, cut her off temporarily. It is more YOUR responsibility to keep the peace in your mind/life as it is others.

Posted by krysrenee7
@Milano: Sorry. I could've sworn that you said she's done stuff like this in the past. Perhaps I interpreted your original post the wrong way.

Again, just make sure you're doing your part b/c you are the only one you can control. None of us can control our friends, & just b/c we can't doesn't mean that we should turn into selfish narcissists who drop people all b/c we can't control them wtf lol

If what she's doing to someone else is deal breaking & changes how you feel about her personally, then don't feel bad about that b/c that's technically fair for you to feel that way. If a friend of mine hurt a child or robbed a bank I'd have every right to be personally affected even though the harm wasn't specifically or personally done to me.

Hell, the same happens in the news every day. We feel sorry for people who get hurt. We feel anger towards the people who cause harm to others, even though we technically weren't harmed ourselves or technically weren't the one's whose houses got blown away by a hurricane. Other's actions will & have always affected us, even if their daggers weren't directly & specifically pointed at us. Human nature.

However, if you still want to be her friend despite being repulsed by her actions, then don't feel bad about that either, b/c that is technically just as fair. 99% of us have or have had a friend who isn't an angel.

Either way though, you're gonna have to stop crying wolf. If you don't wanna hear about it, hang up the phone, switch the subject or if you have to go to the extreme, cut her off temporarily. It is more YOUR responsibility to keep the peace in your mind/life as it is others.

I know, and agree about the peace of mind responsibility. It makes sense what you say about stopping ALL communications about the affair.
The whole reason this situation has "traumatized" me (can't find any other word for it), is because I NEVER expected her to do this to herself or anyone else, and by anyone else I mean his family and kids. But of course I'm disappointed too! She turned out to be someone other than I thought she was. I hope our friendship can continue anyway, if only a bit strained...

Posted by LetltB
Ok enough already. Come back after you follow the bastard home, figure out who his wife is and have told his wife what's going on. THAT'S THE SOLUTION. You can whine all day..clearly it's not doing any good.

I've been here still replying to posts, but if that "whining" is too much for you then you're welcome not to read. He doesn't live in my town, nor do I know his full name. As much as I seriously wish to expose him as the assh*le that he is I won't go through the trouble.
I'll work on my friendship with my friend instead. Hopefully we'll both get over this, it will certainly will be less painful for me.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
Just post a picture of they guy already 😛

Trust me, If I could name and shame I would seriously do it.

Posted by milono

Trust me, If I could name and shame I would seriously do it.

You're a dickhead.

Posted by milono

The whole reason this situation has "traumatized" me

click to expand

... is because you don't have the control over her and you can't stand it.

No you misunderstand...EXPOSE HER.