SelenaKyle
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts
Comments: 6657 · Posts: 25221 · Topics: 77
My friend + married man = sex (Page 2)
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My response to the original post by the OP (I didn't sift through all the comments):
Why are we afraid to uplift our morals 1 minute, but not the next? Why are we constantly considering a friendship a "great one" if we can't even talk to each other about everything, especially if the intention is to help, not hurt?
In the same way that you'd probably speak up if she were committing crimes, stealing from you, or doing something that you consider disgusting, why is THIS scenario any different, if what she's doing ALSO goes against your morals?
I get it, I get it. Some people get defensive, shutdown & act unappreciative when you "keep it real" with them, BUT I'm a firm believer in not caring that you may go against the grain/popular if it means standing up for what's right. And if you've done a good job or carrying yourself like someone with morals, I hardly doubt your friend(s) would be surprised to see you standing up on behalf of those very morals!
Constructive criticism is the best way to go about this. Even but firm tone. Sometimes we only want to stand up for our beliefs when we are 100% sure that the other person will listen, take our advice & change accordingly. Noble. BUT, sometimes it's a matter of proving to SELF that you won't enable or entertain what you consider morally wrong, in the same way that some parents refuse to allow their kids to drink/smoke in their house regardless of what the other "cool parents" allow.
Just tell her like it is. Tell her everything you've said here. And if she doesn't listen, well, you can't control her or anyone else for that matter. But if you speak up, you'll at least feel content in that you spoke up & were being that "keep it real" friend that you probably swore up & down you were.
And hey, if this guy does end up breaking her heart, she'll cling even closer to you b/c she'll remember all the times you tried warning her & will respect you in the long run for not kissing her azz
Why are we afraid to uplift our morals 1 minute, but not the next? Why are we constantly considering a friendship a "great one" if we can't even talk to each other about everything, especially if the intention is to help, not hurt?
In the same way that you'd probably speak up if she were committing crimes, stealing from you, or doing something that you consider disgusting, why is THIS scenario any different, if what she's doing ALSO goes against your morals?
I get it, I get it. Some people get defensive, shutdown & act unappreciative when you "keep it real" with them, BUT I'm a firm believer in not caring that you may go against the grain/popular if it means standing up for what's right. And if you've done a good job or carrying yourself like someone with morals, I hardly doubt your friend(s) would be surprised to see you standing up on behalf of those very morals!
Constructive criticism is the best way to go about this. Even but firm tone. Sometimes we only want to stand up for our beliefs when we are 100% sure that the other person will listen, take our advice & change accordingly. Noble. BUT, sometimes it's a matter of proving to SELF that you won't enable or entertain what you consider morally wrong, in the same way that some parents refuse to allow their kids to drink/smoke in their house regardless of what the other "cool parents" allow.
Just tell her like it is. Tell her everything you've said here. And if she doesn't listen, well, you can't control her or anyone else for that matter. But if you speak up, you'll at least feel content in that you spoke up & were being that "keep it real" friend that you probably swore up & down you were.
And hey, if this guy does end up breaking her heart, she'll cling even closer to you b/c she'll remember all the times you tried warning her & will respect you in the long run for not kissing her azz
And most people have known someone who did something that they tremendously disagreed with or something that technically went against their morals, BUT yet didn't cut them off or call off the friendship/relationship. So let's not sit here & act like we're all angels who have friends/family/partners that are all angels 100% of the time.
You are NOT enabling her to be a mistress. She's grown, has a mind of her own & has shown that not even the biggest force in the universe would make her stop, so don't even begin to let others convince you that HER decisions are somehow YOUR fault or from YOUR influence. If you were giving her rides to his house or letting her borrow your car for their hot "flings," or if your friend had to use you as a means in any way to talk to or see him, THAT would be considered enabling.
Are you entertaining it? Absolutely. There's a difference b/w entertaining & enabling though. There may be a faint line in b/w the two, but still there's a difference.
I hate when people say "It's not your business." Oh shut up! Our friends call us every day with stories about themselves or others that are technically "not your business" either, but nonetheless you still keep the convo going b/c that's what people everywhere do & will always do until the end of time.
So many people have been brought to justice simply b/c someone refused to fall for the line that they shouldn't be "meddling in other's business."
If you were thinking about telling this man's wife or confronting him yourself, maybe that would be considered crossing the line or you stepping out of your place. BUT even then, so many of the people who are telling you to mind your own business right now are the very same people who'd want you to tell them when they're wrong OR tell them if their husband or wife was out screwing God knows who!
Just freakin' tell her. If she listens, great! If she doesn't, at least you got it off your chest. And if you feel like it's just too hard for you to be friends with someone who engages in that kind of life style , then own that, don't beat up on yourself about it and either cut off the friendship altogether or at least put some space b/w you two. No one could knock you if you chose to do either.
You are NOT enabling her to be a mistress. She's grown, has a mind of her own & has shown that not even the biggest force in the universe would make her stop, so don't even begin to let others convince you that HER decisions are somehow YOUR fault or from YOUR influence. If you were giving her rides to his house or letting her borrow your car for their hot "flings," or if your friend had to use you as a means in any way to talk to or see him, THAT would be considered enabling.
Are you entertaining it? Absolutely. There's a difference b/w entertaining & enabling though. There may be a faint line in b/w the two, but still there's a difference.
I hate when people say "It's not your business." Oh shut up! Our friends call us every day with stories about themselves or others that are technically "not your business" either, but nonetheless you still keep the convo going b/c that's what people everywhere do & will always do until the end of time.
So many people have been brought to justice simply b/c someone refused to fall for the line that they shouldn't be "meddling in other's business."
If you were thinking about telling this man's wife or confronting him yourself, maybe that would be considered crossing the line or you stepping out of your place. BUT even then, so many of the people who are telling you to mind your own business right now are the very same people who'd want you to tell them when they're wrong OR tell them if their husband or wife was out screwing God knows who!
Just freakin' tell her. If she listens, great! If she doesn't, at least you got it off your chest. And if you feel like it's just too hard for you to be friends with someone who engages in that kind of life style , then own that, don't beat up on yourself about it and either cut off the friendship altogether or at least put some space b/w you two. No one could knock you if you chose to do either.
I must have hit a nerve with the bedside shrink here... 🙂 Since I was the one that used the word enable and for those that aren't aware, what she is doing is enabling her.
In a negative sense, enabling is also used to describe dysfunctional behavior approaches that are intended to help resolve a specific problem but in fact may perpetuate or exacerbate the problem.[1][2] A common theme of enabling in this latter sense is that third parties take responsibility, blame, or make accommodations for a person's harmful conduct (often with the best of intentions, or from fear or insecurity which inhibits action). The practical effect is that the person himself or herself does not have to do so, and is shielded from awareness of the harm it may do, and the need or pressure to change. Enabling in this sense is a major environmental cause of addiction.[3]
She is enabling her friend by sitting by listening to it, instead of stopping it when she clearly said she doesn't want to hear it. krysrenee7 you obviously have some weird issue with me since you clearly are attacking what I wrote /shrug, more power to you for that. I have barely crossed paths with you, yet you sound ODDLY familiar with how you write and the words you use 😉
I laugh at you telling us to "oh shut up" that said it's not her business. News flash, what her friend does or doesn't do isn't HER business it's her friends and she had zero rights to post about that on a forum. But nice try trying to twist what I and others have said. She had ZERO and I do mean zero rights to post someone else's business out on the internet. This thread is just her way of airing someone else's dirty laundry. Glad YOU think that's acceptable.
I still stand behind what I said above and will say it again... OP you are enabling her by standing beside her while she does this destructive behavior. If you truly do not like it then stand up for your beliefs, tell her and stand behind your convictions.
someone mentioned if she was committing a crime, would you still stand by her. Technically she is committing a crime, it's called adultery.
In a negative sense, enabling is also used to describe dysfunctional behavior approaches that are intended to help resolve a specific problem but in fact may perpetuate or exacerbate the problem.[1][2] A common theme of enabling in this latter sense is that third parties take responsibility, blame, or make accommodations for a person's harmful conduct (often with the best of intentions, or from fear or insecurity which inhibits action). The practical effect is that the person himself or herself does not have to do so, and is shielded from awareness of the harm it may do, and the need or pressure to change. Enabling in this sense is a major environmental cause of addiction.[3]
She is enabling her friend by sitting by listening to it, instead of stopping it when she clearly said she doesn't want to hear it. krysrenee7 you obviously have some weird issue with me since you clearly are attacking what I wrote /shrug, more power to you for that. I have barely crossed paths with you, yet you sound ODDLY familiar with how you write and the words you use 😉
I laugh at you telling us to "oh shut up" that said it's not her business. News flash, what her friend does or doesn't do isn't HER business it's her friends and she had zero rights to post about that on a forum. But nice try trying to twist what I and others have said. She had ZERO and I do mean zero rights to post someone else's business out on the internet. This thread is just her way of airing someone else's dirty laundry. Glad YOU think that's acceptable.
I still stand behind what I said above and will say it again... OP you are enabling her by standing beside her while she does this destructive behavior. If you truly do not like it then stand up for your beliefs, tell her and stand behind your convictions.
someone mentioned if she was committing a crime, would you still stand by her. Technically she is committing a crime, it's called adultery.
Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
I don't know why you would have a self deluded bitch as a friend??_
I hate it when my friends bring me into their private sex lives especially when they know what I'm like, I will judge the shit out of them for being sluts (its not that I hate sluts but my friends are gay and they always fuck each other) and I'm the prude one of the group that doesn't put out lol..
I really don't know much about this kind of thing but Id tell my friend to close her legs and not associate myself with her
Yeah, but have you dropped your friends because of their behaviour? I get what you're saying, but I assume that your friends are not married and have kids? If they sleep with people who are not in committed relationships, then they all agree and accept each other's behaviour. You being the only one sane enough not do participate. 🙂
Posted by krysrenee7
And most people have known someone who did something that they tremendously disagreed with or something that technically went against their morals, BUT yet didn't cut them off or call off the friendship/relationship. So let's not sit here & act like we're all angels who have friends/family/partners that are all angels 100% of the time.
You are NOT enabling her to be a mistress. She's grown, has a mind of her own & has shown that not even the biggest force in the universe would make her stop, so don't even begin to let others convince you that HER decisions are somehow YOUR fault or from YOUR influence. If you were giving her rides to his house or letting her borrow your car for their hot "flings," or if your friend had to use you as a means in any way to talk to or see him, THAT would be considered enabling.
Are you entertaining it? Absolutely. There's a difference b/w entertaining & enabling though. There may be a faint line in b/w the two, but still there's a difference.
I hate when people say "It's not your business." Oh shut up! Our friends call us every day with stories about themselves or others that are technically "not your business" either, but nonetheless you still keep the convo going b/c that's what people everywhere do & will always do until the end of time.
So many people have been brought to justice simply b/c someone refused to fall for the line that they shouldn't be "meddling in other's business."
If you were thinking about telling this man's wife or confronting him yourself, maybe that would be considered crossing the line or you stepping out of your place. BUT even then, so many of the people who are telling you to mind your own business right now are the very same people who'd want you to tell them when they're wrong OR tell them if their husband or wife was out screwing God knows who!
Just freakin' tell her. If she listens, great! If she doesn't, at least you got it off your chest. And if you feel like it's just too hard for you to be friends with someone who engages in that kind of life style , then own that, don't beat up on yourself about it and either cut off the friendship altogether or at least put some space b/w you two. No one could knock you if you chose to do either.
Thank you for long and understanding replies! I truly need to get things off my chest to make it clear for her where I stand.
Posted by justagirl
Honestly, it's none of your business period! Yet you are making it your business by creating this thread. You say you aren't going to talk about it/her yet you still do. I get she confides in you but that does give you the right to come here and spew all her person shit all over the net... some friend YOU are.
The answer is simple, tell her you do not agree with her actions and you cannot enable nor endorse that behavior. Let her know once she is done fucking up everyone's life that you might consider to be there but until then, there is the door. You don't respect her so how can you call her a friend?
It's not like anyone here will ever know who she is. So who am I shaming here? An anonymous person that I call "friend". Could that offend her? Not in the least. She'll never know.
I have explained why I still care about that friendship.
and actually even with non-close friends, it is not about dropping them for something they are doing with others. it would just not matter to you as much as it would it it were a close friend.
True. And some people seem to wonder how anyone can be friends with someone who doesn't share the same values. Why bother?
For me, I THOUGHT my friend and I were the same. She led me to believe that by telling me so.
There's a disappointment to realize that. And I'm angry too.
But above all, I hope she'll come to her senses. Sooner than later.
After reading everything Milano has stated, and in reading between the lines, I've come to this conclusion .....
The friend isn't listening to milono, and since milono is an obvious control freak who isn't getting her way ... so milono came here to attempt to gain some control over the audience, since her alleged friend won't listen to her.
Because both sides of the tongue keeps talking ... so, there is an obvious deception taking place
Posted by P-Angel
After reading everything Milano has stated, and in reading between the lines, I've come to this conclusion .....
The friend isn't listening to milono, and since milono is an obvious control freak who isn't getting her way ... so milono came here to attempt to gain some control over the audience, since her alleged friend won't listen to her.
Because both sides of the tongue keeps talking ... so, there is an obvious deception taking place
Give an example where I'm trying to control anyone here! And my friend, I've never told her to NOT fuck her life away with someone who doesn't give a crap about her. I've told her why I don;t support it.
Maybe you shouldn't read between the lines when you're not so good at it.
My hope is that she realizes you aren't her friend, and never has been .... and drops your ass like a bad habit.
Honest question, milono.. Did the attention your friend is now lavishing on this married man... Used to be spent on you?
Posted by Andalusia
... the attention your friend is now lavishing on this married man... Used to be spent on you?
and Bingo was his namo
Posted by P-Angel
My hope is that she realizes you aren't her friend, and never has been .... and drops your ass like a bad habit.
Good for you. I've never been her friend, she's never come crying to me before, and I never supported her in anything. Good for you that you know that.
Sarcasm ends. Why do you assume I'm a "control freak", and WHY would I want to control my friend? Please tell me, because you DO know, right?
Posted by Andalusia
Honest question, milono.. Did the attention your friend is now lavishing on this married man... Used to be spent on you?
Her network of friends isn't only me. I see her as my best friend because how close we are and have been. But we both have other friends.
She's normally a sociable and well liked person. I don't think she wants to "belong" to just any one friend.
If I was jealous I'd have a very tough time. All the time. Even when she's not fooling around with a cheater.
Posted by size zero superheroPosted by justagirl
Honestly, it's none of your business period! Yet you are making it your business by creating this thread. You say you aren't going to talk about it/her yet you still do. I get she confides in you but that does give you the right to come here and spew all her person shit all over the net... some friend YOU are.
The answer is simple, tell her you do not agree with her actions and you cannot enable nor endorse that behavior. Let her know once she is done fucking up everyone's life that you might consider to be there but until then, there is the door. You don't respect her so how can you call her a friend?
While I can see where you're coming from; milono's friend has clearly found her participation in the affair suitable for discussion & thereby allowed AT LEAST one third-party in on the details of her shadowy personal life.
The instant which one divulges confidential, potentially-incriminating tidbits to others in their lives like milono's friend did, whether trusted or not, said information no longer qualifies as "secret". In order for secrets to remain as such, you either have to keep that $ h!t to yourself exclusively, or seek insight on an anonymous basis as the OP has done here. Otherwise, there's a fair chance consequences will follow.
To summarize; if you play with fire, then eventually, you'll get burnt.
In regards to creating this thread; by posting & venting anonymously on an obscure internet forum such as DXPnet, identities certainly haven't been given away in the process. I don't see where the OP has committed betrayal.
Furthermore, the loss of respect here is directly related to the friend's ~forbidden lover~, whose expansive litter of children & wife's existence did not discourage her from hoppin' on the D, despite her knowledge of these circumstances.
Yes, the onus is ultimately on the guy involved; as he should be committed to his family/relationship rather than trying to reap additional benefits on the downlow--but this event resulting in a loss of respect for the friend is not off-base. She probably held her in higher regard beforehand, and is disappointed at her ill-advised choices being that this is somebody whom she CARES about.click to expand
Size zero superhero - Thanks for understanding me a bit! And for expressing
Size zero superhero- Continuation of my reply...
For expressing yourself better than I did myself it seems.
Yes, I care for my friend despite that she turned out to be someone I never thought she'd be.
I see her in a completely different light than before, but I WANT to think she's the same friend she was before him. People do stupid things when they're in love.
I'm not telling her to stop seeing him. But I've told her why I don't support the relationship. And the more she will talk about it, the more I will oppose it.
And I will have to choose my words wisely. So that MAYBE she tooc an understand where I'm coming from as well.
Then whatever will be will be... I'm certainly not "controling" her as certain people think.
For expressing yourself better than I did myself it seems.
Yes, I care for my friend despite that she turned out to be someone I never thought she'd be.
I see her in a completely different light than before, but I WANT to think she's the same friend she was before him. People do stupid things when they're in love.
I'm not telling her to stop seeing him. But I've told her why I don't support the relationship. And the more she will talk about it, the more I will oppose it.
And I will have to choose my words wisely. So that MAYBE she tooc an understand where I'm coming from as well.
Then whatever will be will be... I'm certainly not "controling" her as certain people think.
Posted by LovesickCancer
Firstly morals are not something you say, its the things you do!!
I've been in this situation with two friends, one who was having an affair with a married councillor, who thought the only reason he wouldn't leave his wife was public image, and another who was in an abusive relationship and was the one being cheated on.
I can honestly say that my friend who had the affair wasn't such a great person to begin with, not evil, but selfish. She did hurt others before but because she had never hurt me I was still friends with her.
I finally had enough when she used to say things like "why won't his wife just die", then she started stalking his daughter on Facebook.
My friend who is in an abusive relationship would make up excuse after excuse defending her man's actions. She would call me up at 3am and cry for two hours, make me promise to go to the police with her first thing in the morning, then call ne back and say they've made up etc.
I had enough with her after she endangered her children with him, she asked me to be there when social services came round, but I couldn't because it's one thing to turn a blind eye, another to deliberately lie.
The thing is, everyone does exactly what they want and what they wouldn't do it if it didn't make them happy. Yes, deep down she probably is unhappy, but there's no reason for you to be!!!
I say, if you give someone energy, you give them energy. It's you who's suffering the moral complications, not exactly fair is it!
Sorry that you had to go through those things with your friends. I know you're right. I am probably suffering more than she is. But I put the focus on this suffering on my friendship with her instead of on his family (who I feel bad for).
I have this hope that my friend will wake up and realize the damage she is causing to the family and to herself.
If my friend turns out like yours, that she'll start wishing death on the woman she helps a man to betray... That would be a sad eye opener for me as well.
That would speak volumes to me.
@Justagirl: Whoa don't flatter yourself. I do not have beef with you, nor I was not attacking you. Don't be arrogant to think that my whole intention of coming to this post was to single you out lol I simply disagreed with you. And I wasn't saying "shut up" in a literal sense, but you wish I was b/c you're looking for a reason to complain
It's funny people say that she's enabling her to do it by listening to it & not stopping it, but yet in the same breath say that it's none of her business. Well which 1 is it? Why would someone need to stop the "enabling" if it was never their business to begin with?
To say that she's a bad friend b/c she's asking for advice about a friend on this website is the equivalent of saying that everybody on this site who's ever asked for advice (which of course includes characters & a storyline) must be a bad person or friend. If that's the truth, then there's no point of coming to the site. All posts are either about something relating to self or someone else. If the aspect of others speaking about their friendships or sharing their stories that just so happen to involve others, bothers you, then perhaps this site isn't for you.
No amount of force on earth will stop a grown woman from doing something that she wants to do. If this were her mother or sister or child writing this post, would you claim that her "child" was enabling her to be a mistress simply b/c they choose to not bash her or cut her off? lol According to your theory, that's exactly what you'd be saying.
You will stick with your position, & that's fine. But I will always stick with mine. It's up to the individual person as to whether or not they value continuing a friendship with someone who is doing something that they consider wrong. None of us are angels & we've all known someone who did something distatestful. I'm not demonizing her b/c she might want to continue the friendship, nor would I judge her if she chose not to.
It's funny people say that she's enabling her to do it by listening to it & not stopping it, but yet in the same breath say that it's none of her business. Well which 1 is it? Why would someone need to stop the "enabling" if it was never their business to begin with?
To say that she's a bad friend b/c she's asking for advice about a friend on this website is the equivalent of saying that everybody on this site who's ever asked for advice (which of course includes characters & a storyline) must be a bad person or friend. If that's the truth, then there's no point of coming to the site. All posts are either about something relating to self or someone else. If the aspect of others speaking about their friendships or sharing their stories that just so happen to involve others, bothers you, then perhaps this site isn't for you.
No amount of force on earth will stop a grown woman from doing something that she wants to do. If this were her mother or sister or child writing this post, would you claim that her "child" was enabling her to be a mistress simply b/c they choose to not bash her or cut her off? lol According to your theory, that's exactly what you'd be saying.
You will stick with your position, & that's fine. But I will always stick with mine. It's up to the individual person as to whether or not they value continuing a friendship with someone who is doing something that they consider wrong. None of us are angels & we've all known someone who did something distatestful. I'm not demonizing her b/c she might want to continue the friendship, nor would I judge her if she chose not to.
There is nothing unusual or "bad friend-like" about being affected by someone else's bad choices. That's what human beings do. They care. They want the best for you. And they can feel a variety of different emotions when they see others going down a road that will most likely backfire on them. This is something parents or spouses know all too well. To say that she has no right to feel the need to react all b/c it's not her "business" goes against everything that humans are hard-wired to feel/do when they see a sticky situation where someone is sinking
If anything, I personally wouldn't even want friends who would see me messing my life up or putting myself in a dangerous situation & yet not say a word or seem affected by it at all!
If it's not wrong to be affected by the decisions your parents, partner, children, neighbors, or complete strangers make, then it's not wrong to be somewhat affected by the decisions your own best friends are making. So let's stop demonizing the OP for being human & for having the impulse to "keep it real" with her own friend. That's what friends are for. That's what friends are supposed to do.
If we define friendship by how many people will always support our every decision 100% of the time, NONE of us would have any friends lol
Now whether or not you can control your friend or force them to stop is another story within itself. But even then, we've all been in situations where we were hard-headed & didn't listen & had to learn the hard way. And I bet you're grateful that when you finally got through it, you still had the same family members/friends rooting you on & still standing by your side. Friendships like that are desirable in my opinion moreso than denouncable.
If anything, I personally wouldn't even want friends who would see me messing my life up or putting myself in a dangerous situation & yet not say a word or seem affected by it at all!
If it's not wrong to be affected by the decisions your parents, partner, children, neighbors, or complete strangers make, then it's not wrong to be somewhat affected by the decisions your own best friends are making. So let's stop demonizing the OP for being human & for having the impulse to "keep it real" with her own friend. That's what friends are for. That's what friends are supposed to do.
If we define friendship by how many people will always support our every decision 100% of the time, NONE of us would have any friends lol
Now whether or not you can control your friend or force them to stop is another story within itself. But even then, we've all been in situations where we were hard-headed & didn't listen & had to learn the hard way. And I bet you're grateful that when you finally got through it, you still had the same family members/friends rooting you on & still standing by your side. Friendships like that are desirable in my opinion moreso than denouncable.
Posted by krysrenee7
There is nothing unusual or "bad friend-like" about being affected by someone else's bad choices. That's what human beings do. They care. They want the best for you. And they can feel a variety of different emotions when they see others going down a road that will most likely backfire on them. This is something parents or spouses know all too well. To say that she has no right to feel the need to react all b/c it's not her "business" goes against everything that humans are hard-wired to feel/do when they see a sticky situation where someone is sinking
If anything, I personally wouldn't even want friends who would see me messing my life up or putting myself in a dangerous situation & yet not say a word or seem affected by it at all!
If it's not wrong to be affected by the decisions your parents, partner, children, neighbors, or complete strangers make, then it's not wrong to be somewhat affected by the decisions your own best friends are making. So let's stop demonizing the OP for being human & for having the impulse to "keep it real" with her own friend. That's what friends are for. That's what friends are supposed to do.
If we define friendship by how many people will always support our every decision 100% of the time, NONE of us would have any friends lol
Now whether or not you can control your friend or force them to stop is another story within itself. But even then, we've all been in situations where we were hard-headed & didn't listen & had to learn the hard way. And I bet you're grateful that when you finally got through it, you still had the same family members/friends rooting you on & still standing by your side. Friendships like that are desirable in my opinion moreso than denouncable.
It's great to know that you understand me. We share the same thoughts about these situations.
Certain people here,let's refer to them as P-Angel and her army,browse threads with nothing to offer but pre-concieved notions of WHO the poster is and what the motive is. Without knowing a shit, or even bothering to ask. They've made their minds up. Let's not waste time by further trying to explainhow human beings function. It;s lost on them.
My hope is that very soon she realizes that you aren't her friend, and never has been .... so she can drop your ass like a bad habit, to go share her life with a person who isn't trying to control her.
Hopefully, this takes place very soon.
And then one day, you might be able to find another female that you like, and then too, this other female will likely live her life in ways you don't like. And because you think people are suppose to live their life to satisfy you, and she won't, because she would have her own life .... you can always come back to dxp and bitch because she isn't living her life your way.
And then you can proceed to state that you don't like it one bit.
Then when that woman finally realizes that your intention is to get your way, and when you get pissed because she doesn't abide by your wishes and drops your ass like a bad habit ... you can go find another unsuspecting female and pretend to be her friend.
.... until she does something you don't like ... then you can come back to dxp again, to state that you don't like it that this new friend is living her life the way she wants to, and you don't agree and you don't like it one bit.
Posted by milono
My best friend
I disagree 100% with her behavviour.
Poor thing .... here she is led to believe by you that she is your best friend ..... while all along you disagree with her behavior 100% .
She is being deceived by you ....
Hopefully, she wakes up soon to realize you've led her astray .... and hopefully, she realizes it's because you are a control freak, so that she never trusts ones again.
It's possible you've damaged her for life.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by milono
My best friend
I disagree 100% with her behavviour.
Poor thing .... here she is led to believe by you that she is your best friend ..... while all along you disagree with her behavior 100% .
She is being deceived by you ....
Hopefully, she wakes up soon to realize you've led her astray .... and hopefully, she realizes it's because you are a control freak, so that she never trusts ones again.
It's possible you've damaged her for life.click to expand
Bla bla bla bla... Haven't YOU bitched enough now? Away you go. This is the last time I respond to you anyway.
Posted by xcake
I think you're venting rather than asking on how you will approach the situation.
without a doubt
There's no real desire on her part that is concerned about her alleged friend. The only concern here is that she wants to hold the right to control her friend.
If she was sincere, she would act like it. She doesn't act like there are sincere intentions.
You're right ... it is obvious that the only intention here is to bitch.
I feel sorry for this person. Not only is she going to be hurt by the man, eventually .. she also doesn't have a friendship in a person she thinks she does.
Posted by xcake
Real friends tell you the truth and won't support your wrongs and that is being a good friend itself.
It's not always easy.
You could lose your friend but that would mean your friendship wasn't strong to begin with.
I have told her that I don't support her relationship. She's fully aware of that. I know how my first post came off, therefore it's now hidden.
If anyone wants to know my "agenda" or whatever to call it - read my replies to people who have understood me and explained the situation better than I did myself. Like Size zero superhereo, and others.
Posted by milonoPosted by xcake
Real friends tell you the truth and won't support your wrongs and that is being a good friend itself.
It's not always easy.
You could lose your friend but that would mean your friendship wasn't strong to begin with.
I have told her that I don't support her relationship. She's fully aware of that. I know how my first post came off, therefore it's now hidden.
If anyone wants to know my "agenda" or whatever to call it - read my replies to people who have understood me and explained the situation better than I did myself. Like Size zero superhereo, and others.click to expand
.... because it's important that YOU have validation
::: shakes head :::
with every self serving justification you come in here with only proves that this has always been about you, and not her
It always amuses me when the moron brigade comes on in with their snap judgements.
Yet they encourage behavior that enables such bs.
A real friend would tell someone like her to cut it out. The behavior is making someone else they're close to very uncomfortable and it's totally understandable because it creates a rift.
Substitute the scenario with her being a drug abuser. She swore up and down she'd never do it, but lo and behold, she's getting caught up in the downward spiral of drug use and you don't care for it.
What would you do? Probably the same response that you've shown here. Intervention time, counseling time, etc, right?
Yet people accuse you of being too caught up or that you should just let it happen since it's not YOUR problem. After all, apathy is the solution to everything!!
I'd distance myself from someone like her, too. People like that tend to drag in everyone around them in on their bs drama they created. It's pretty selfish thinking.
Yet they encourage behavior that enables such bs.
A real friend would tell someone like her to cut it out. The behavior is making someone else they're close to very uncomfortable and it's totally understandable because it creates a rift.
Substitute the scenario with her being a drug abuser. She swore up and down she'd never do it, but lo and behold, she's getting caught up in the downward spiral of drug use and you don't care for it.
What would you do? Probably the same response that you've shown here. Intervention time, counseling time, etc, right?
Yet people accuse you of being too caught up or that you should just let it happen since it's not YOUR problem. After all, apathy is the solution to everything!!
I'd distance myself from someone like her, too. People like that tend to drag in everyone around them in on their bs drama they created. It's pretty selfish thinking.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
It always amuses me when the moron brigade comes on in with their snap judgements.
Yet they encourage behavior that enables such bs.
A real friend would tell someone like her to cut it out. The behavior is making someone else they're close to very uncomfortable and it's totally understandable because it creates a rift.
Substitute the scenario with her being a drug abuser. She swore up and down she'd never do it, but lo and behold, she's getting caught up in the downward spiral of drug use and you don't care for it.
What would you do? Probably the same response that you've shown here. Intervention time, counseling time, etc, right?
Yet people accuse you of being too caught up or that you should just let it happen since it's not YOUR problem. After all, apathy is the solution to everything!!
I'd distance myself from someone like her, too. People like that tend to drag in everyone around them in on their bs drama they created. It's pretty selfish thinking.
Thanks for understanding! She does act like he's a drug, and the more he's got her wrapped around his finger, the bigger the fall for her... No way he'll leave his family for my friend. He's got the best of two worlds now. Meanwhile, she thinks she really matters to him.
What kind of friend would support such a "relationship"?
Posted by milonoPosted by rockyroadicecream
It always amuses me when the moron brigade comes on in with their snap judgements.
Yet they encourage behavior that enables such bs.
A real friend would tell someone like her to cut it out. The behavior is making someone else they're close to very uncomfortable and it's totally understandable because it creates a rift.
Substitute the scenario with her being a drug abuser. She swore up and down she'd never do it, but lo and behold, she's getting caught up in the downward spiral of drug use and you don't care for it.
What would you do? Probably the same response that you've shown here. Intervention time, counseling time, etc, right?
Yet people accuse you of being too caught up or that you should just let it happen since it's not YOUR problem. After all, apathy is the solution to everything!!
I'd distance myself from someone like her, too. People like that tend to drag in everyone around them in on their bs drama they created. It's pretty selfish thinking.
Thanks for understanding! She does act like he's a drug, and the more he's got her wrapped around his finger, the bigger the fall for her... No way he'll leave his family for my friend. He's got the best of two worlds now. Meanwhile, she thinks she really matters to him.
What kind of friend would support such a "relationship"?click to expand
The sad thing is that this scenario is so age old, yet women fall for that shit every time. "HE'LL LEAVE HER FOR ME!!"
...no? Even if he does, why are you so pathetic that you'd get into something serious with a guy who blatantly cheated? He'll do it to you, too. :/
And even if you distance yourself, if this chick is truly your friend, she'll come back around when she realizes the extent of her fuck up and want to mend the friendship. ...and then she may not. It really depends on her. I had to distance myself from a self destructive friend and he never really bothered coming back around. I wasn't all that surprised, tbh. His actions told me what kind of individual he was.
Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by milonoPosted by rockyroadicecream
It always amuses me when the moron brigade comes on in with their snap judgements.
Yet they encourage behavior that enables such bs.
A real friend would tell someone like her to cut it out. The behavior is making someone else they're close to very uncomfortable and it's totally understandable because it creates a rift.
Substitute the scenario with her being a drug abuser. She swore up and down she'd never do it, but lo and behold, she's getting caught up in the downward spiral of drug use and you don't care for it.
What would you do? Probably the same response that you've shown here. Intervention time, counseling time, etc, right?
Yet people accuse you of being too caught up or that you should just let it happen since it's not YOUR problem. After all, apathy is the solution to everything!!
I'd distance myself from someone like her, too. People like that tend to drag in everyone around them in on their bs drama they created. It's pretty selfish thinking.
Thanks for understanding! She does act like he's a drug, and the more he's got her wrapped around his finger, the bigger the fall for her... No way he'll leave his family for my friend. He's got the best of two worlds now. Meanwhile, she thinks she really matters to him.
What kind of friend would support such a "relationship"?
The sad thing is that this scenario is so age old, yet women fall for that shit every time. "HE'LL LEAVE HER FOR ME!!"
...no? Even if he does, why are you so pathetic that you'd get into something serious with a guy who blatantly cheated? He'll do it to you, too. :/
And even if you distance yourself, if this chick is truly your friend, she'll come back around when she realizes the extent of her fuck up and want to mend the friendship. ...and then she may not. It really depends on her. I had to distance myself from a self destructive friend and he never really bothered coming back around. I wasn't all that surprised, tbh. His actions told me what kind of individual he was.click to expand
Yeah, that's so sad. Sorry about your friend, I mean on some level I assume that you must've been quite disappointed. Because one does hope for the people you
WTF- Sorry rockyroad...
Here's my reply:
Yeah, that's so sad. Sorry about your friend, I mean on some level I assume that you must've been quite disappointed. Because one does hope for the people you refer to as friends.
I don't want to lose her friendship, I want so much to think she's temporarily insane now. That she will return to her smart self. Time will tell.
But if she doesn't change, and if she doesn't want me around in the future... I'm sure I'll be sad about it. But I'll remind myself that she's not the person I thought she was anyway.
Here's my reply:
Yeah, that's so sad. Sorry about your friend, I mean on some level I assume that you must've been quite disappointed. Because one does hope for the people you refer to as friends.
I don't want to lose her friendship, I want so much to think she's temporarily insane now. That she will return to her smart self. Time will tell.
But if she doesn't change, and if she doesn't want me around in the future... I'm sure I'll be sad about it. But I'll remind myself that she's not the person I thought she was anyway.
Posted by size zero superheroPosted by rockyroadicecream
"HE'LL LEAVE HER FOR ME!!"
...no? Even if he does, why are you so pathetic that you'd get into something serious with a guy who blatantly cheated? He'll do it to you, too. :/
And even if you distance yourself, if this chick is truly your friend, she'll come back around when she realizes the extent of her fuck up and want to mend the friendship.
^Quoted for truth.
Except for one detail; concerning relationships which begin with the pretext of infidelity, history isn't guaranteed to repeat itself--the issue is moreso that one loses the right to be surprised & play the scorned-victim-card if/when that DOES happen.
(I suspect most folks in that boat already knew the deal once they signed up; hence the trust issues & air of uncertainty likely to follow said couples for a LONG time thereafter, if not throughout the entirety of their relationship.)click to expand
True that. Funny how me and my friend had a conversation shortly before he made his move on her.
We talked about relationships and that without trust you have nothing. Maybe lies and hopes are good enough substitues...?
@Milano: So what are you going to do?
Your negative reaction to her being a mistress most likely won't ever change to positive, so now what?
-You know she'd tell you if the shoe was on the other foot
-You know that you have a right to feel disappointed in her actions b/c wrong is wrong, even when the "wrong" is done by a friend
-You know that you have a right to care as anyone would if they saw a person they loved going down a road that everybody knows almost always ends in destruction of self (or others)
-You know that it IS your business b/c 1. She's your friend & 2. She makes it your business when she brings it up around you & chooses you as her "outlet" when venting about it
-You know that this affair with him may negatively change her or at least cause a lot of drama or heartache for her in the long run
-But you also know realistically, that she probably won't listen even if you do put your foot down, shake her & say, "LISTEN!!"
So what now? I know you're still fishing for what others are advising you to do/not do, but I'm curious as to know if you're any closer to making a final decision than you were when you originally wrote this post?!
Your negative reaction to her being a mistress most likely won't ever change to positive, so now what?
-You know she'd tell you if the shoe was on the other foot
-You know that you have a right to feel disappointed in her actions b/c wrong is wrong, even when the "wrong" is done by a friend
-You know that you have a right to care as anyone would if they saw a person they loved going down a road that everybody knows almost always ends in destruction of self (or others)
-You know that it IS your business b/c 1. She's your friend & 2. She makes it your business when she brings it up around you & chooses you as her "outlet" when venting about it
-You know that this affair with him may negatively change her or at least cause a lot of drama or heartache for her in the long run
-But you also know realistically, that she probably won't listen even if you do put your foot down, shake her & say, "LISTEN!!"
So what now? I know you're still fishing for what others are advising you to do/not do, but I'm curious as to know if you're any closer to making a final decision than you were when you originally wrote this post?!
Posted by krysrenee7
@Milano: So what are you going to do?
Your negative reaction to her being a mistress most likely won't ever change to positive, so now what?
-You know she'd tell you if the shoe was on the other foot
-You know that you have a right to feel disappointed in her actions b/c wrong is wrong, even when the "wrong" is done by a friend
-You know that you have a right to care as anyone would if they saw a person they loved going down a road that everybody knows almost always ends in destruction of self (or others)
-You know that it IS your business b/c 1. She's your friend & 2. She makes it your business when she brings it up around you & chooses you as her "outlet" when venting about it
-You know that this affair with him may negatively change her or at least cause a lot of drama or heartache for her in the long run
-But you also know realistically, that she probably won't listen even if you do put your foot down, shake her & say, "LISTEN!!"
So what now? I know you're still fishing for what others are advising you to do/not do, but I'm curious as to know if you're any closer to making a final decision than you were when you originally wrote this post?!
I thought she said she'd make herself clear one more time to her friend in how she is NOT comfortable with the situation and does not approve?
Not sure what she wants to do beyond that. What if she doesn't give an eff OP, what do you choose to do then? Distance yourself? Cut her off?
Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by krysrenee7
@Milano: So what are you going to do?
Your negative reaction to her being a mistress most likely won't ever change to positive, so now what?
-You know she'd tell you if the shoe was on the other foot
-You know that you have a right to feel disappointed in her actions b/c wrong is wrong, even when the "wrong" is done by a friend
-You know that you have a right to care as anyone would if they saw a person they loved going down a road that everybody knows almost always ends in destruction of self (or others)
-You know that it IS your business b/c 1. She's your friend & 2. She makes it your business when she brings it up around you & chooses you as her "outlet" when venting about it
-You know that this affair with him may negatively change her or at least cause a lot of drama or heartache for her in the long run
-But you also know realistically, that she probably won't listen even if you do put your foot down, shake her & say, "LISTEN!!"
So what now? I know you're still fishing for what others are advising you to do/not do, but I'm curious as to know if you're any closer to making a final decision than you were when you originally wrote this post?!
I thought she said she'd make herself clear one more time to her friend in how she is NOT comfortable with the situation and does not approve?
Not sure what she wants to do beyond that. What if she doesn't give an eff OP, what do you choose to do then? Distance yourself? Cut her off?click to expand
Yeah, I will tell her once and for all that I disapprove of her self destructive behaviour. I will choose my words carefully, and for every reason she gives me for wanting to be a mistress, for wanting me to agree with her - I can provide a reason not to
I still haven't been able to talk to her. I know she's busy with work, and I also know that her person of preference is that married man...
I'll wait until she contacts me. If she isn't already upset with me (and is avoiding me, which I can't know at this point) then I won't risk to aggrevate her by "hunting her down" just to tell her how much I disagree with her.
That's why I'm hanging around here too. It comforts me to know that some of you understand my situation.
I know I can't control my friend, and if she wants to live in her fantas
Reply continued!!
IF she wants to live in her fantasy world then I'll have to let her do that.
All I can do is tell her honestly why I don't think there is any good in what she's doing.
My hope is that she'll understand where I'm coming from, and accept that. Our friendship should be strong enough to survive that disagreement.
After all, I truly don't think that man will ever become an official part of her life.
She hides him from everyone, so if he HAS to be a part of her life I'm sure that she can hide him from me too in te future.
IF she wants to live in her fantasy world then I'll have to let her do that.
All I can do is tell her honestly why I don't think there is any good in what she's doing.
My hope is that she'll understand where I'm coming from, and accept that. Our friendship should be strong enough to survive that disagreement.
After all, I truly don't think that man will ever become an official part of her life.
She hides him from everyone, so if he HAS to be a part of her life I'm sure that she can hide him from me too in te future.
It's an oxymoron in a way, isn't it? Him not oficially not existing in her life, while she seems to plan her life around him.
If I was in love with someone I'd want the whole world to know. I'd love for my parents and siblings to know. I'd love for any new friend to know, too.
You know, share stupid and funny things and elaborate on why he means so much to you, and why you mean so much to him.
Granted, even non-married lovers can end up hurting you. But who would go into a relationship knowing he's sleeping with someone else, and be fine with it? No matter how much I try, I'll never be able to understand my friend on this.
If I was in love with someone I'd want the whole world to know. I'd love for my parents and siblings to know. I'd love for any new friend to know, too.
You know, share stupid and funny things and elaborate on why he means so much to you, and why you mean so much to him.
Granted, even non-married lovers can end up hurting you. But who would go into a relationship knowing he's sleeping with someone else, and be fine with it? No matter how much I try, I'll never be able to understand my friend on this.
You've attempted several times to convey your only concern is for the friend, but those were calculated statements .... your description of feelings .....
.... clearly shows that you're jealous of him.
You just cannot stand it .... that she isn't listening to you !!!
come back with any excuse you want, but we can all clearly see that you're jealousy is showing
@Milano: Look, 9 times out of 10, she's not going to take your advice, suddenly develop a backbone & leave him alone that very day lol
Chances are, when (not if) things finally fall apart, she'll come back AFTER the fact & tell you that you were right.
So knowing that your advice is going to go in 1 ear & out of the other, what is the point of telling her ONE more time that you disapprove of her actions? Is that "One more time" a warning that your friendship will change in some way?
Do you get what I'm saying? Once you tell her "one more time" that you're disgusted, then what? She's not going to let him go. If anything she'll hide it from you like she does from everybody else. THEN WHAT?
If you're not going to cut off the friendship with her or at least put some distance there, then what is the point of having the talk "one more time?"
I could understand you being nervous if you'd never had this talk with her before, but you have, so what will be different about this time...this talk? Are you gonna give her an ultimatum? Cut off the friendship? Threaten to do so? What?
Chances are, when (not if) things finally fall apart, she'll come back AFTER the fact & tell you that you were right.
So knowing that your advice is going to go in 1 ear & out of the other, what is the point of telling her ONE more time that you disapprove of her actions? Is that "One more time" a warning that your friendship will change in some way?
Do you get what I'm saying? Once you tell her "one more time" that you're disgusted, then what? She's not going to let him go. If anything she'll hide it from you like she does from everybody else. THEN WHAT?
If you're not going to cut off the friendship with her or at least put some distance there, then what is the point of having the talk "one more time?"
I could understand you being nervous if you'd never had this talk with her before, but you have, so what will be different about this time...this talk? Are you gonna give her an ultimatum? Cut off the friendship? Threaten to do so? What?
Posted by krysrenee7
@Milano: Look, 9 times out of 10, she's not going to take your advice, suddenly develop a backbone & leave him alone that very day lol
Chances are, when (not if) things finally fall apart, she'll come back AFTER the fact & tell you that you were right.
So knowing that your advice is going to go in 1 ear & out of the other, what is the point of telling her ONE more time that you disapprove of her actions? Is that "One more time" a warning that your friendship will change in some way?
Do you get what I'm saying? Once you tell her "one more time" that you're disgusted, then what? She's not going to let him go. If anything she'll hide it from you like she does from everybody else. THEN WHAT?
If you're not going to cut off the friendship with her or at least put some distance there, then what is the point of having the talk "one more time?"
I could understand you being nervous if you'd never had this talk with her before, but you have, so what will be different about this time...this talk? Are you gonna give her an ultimatum? Cut off the friendship? Threaten to do so? What?
I know that I can't make her do anything that she doesn't want to. My point of "crafting" some sort of speech to her is... I don't want our frienship to turn into therapy sessions, where she goes on and on about him. Where she's expecting me to agree with her that she should let all her focus be on this fantasy relationship.
Because since she keeps talkong about it, I feel that she doesn't think I'm serious when I say I don't want to hear about it anymore.
So, I'll say it in other words.
So, I'll say it in other words.
Posted by P-Angel
You've attempted several times to convey your only concern is for the friend, but those were calculated statements .... your description of feelings .....
.... clearly shows that you're jealous of him.
You just cannot stand it .... that she isn't listening to you !!!
come back with any excuse you want, but we can all clearly see that you're jealousy is showing
I said I would ignore you, but I can't... What makes you think that you know me well enough to judge my personality and my supposed motive/jealosuy by what I write? Are you always this misstrusting of people? In your world, are there always selfish motives for every action? Is that how YOU work?
@Milano: Ignore P-Angel. If you feed into it, that demon will just continue & next thing you know you look silly for having an off topic full blown argument with some anonymous internet thug/bully who's never met you a day in his/her life. Explaining yourself to a person who isn't here to offer any constructive criticism, but instead to assassinate character is a waste of your time. He/she may get off on it, but you'll notice their attempts to verbally assassinate you will get much stronger once they see you've ignored them for good. Kill them with kindness. It'll drive em crazy!!!
Now back to the topic...Look. Don't be naive to think that your friend doesn't know what she's doing. If she's been down this road before than she knows the risks & odds are NOT in her favor & you might just have to accept that she's willing to take those risks.
She's not some helpless victim to manipulation. If sleeping with men who are taken has become her "thing" then she has chosen to live that life style . So all the "talks" in the world won't change a thing. Trust me, behind closed doors, she probably has moments where she's just as critical & judgmental of herself more than anyone on the outside could be!
If you hadn't ever told her how you feel before, then I'd encourage you to speak up. But if you have before, then giving your 2 cents now would be a waste of time. You know the inevitable is coming. You know one day she's going to call you in tears needing your shoulder to cry on. You know that it's not a matter of "if" but WHEN!
If I were you, I'd just put some space & distance b/w you two. Action is the best way to get someone's attention. Tell her that what she's doing is affecting how you feel about her & that you feel it's best to put some space b/w you two. If that's not what she wants and IF you are important to her, she won't necessarily break it off with him, BUT she will at least get the final hint to stop talking about it
Now back to the topic...Look. Don't be naive to think that your friend doesn't know what she's doing. If she's been down this road before than she knows the risks & odds are NOT in her favor & you might just have to accept that she's willing to take those risks.
She's not some helpless victim to manipulation. If sleeping with men who are taken has become her "thing" then she has chosen to live that life style . So all the "talks" in the world won't change a thing. Trust me, behind closed doors, she probably has moments where she's just as critical & judgmental of herself more than anyone on the outside could be!
If you hadn't ever told her how you feel before, then I'd encourage you to speak up. But if you have before, then giving your 2 cents now would be a waste of time. You know the inevitable is coming. You know one day she's going to call you in tears needing your shoulder to cry on. You know that it's not a matter of "if" but WHEN!
If I were you, I'd just put some space & distance b/w you two. Action is the best way to get someone's attention. Tell her that what she's doing is affecting how you feel about her & that you feel it's best to put some space b/w you two. If that's not what she wants and IF you are important to her, she won't necessarily break it off with him, BUT she will at least get the final hint to stop talking about it
Plus remember that friendship works 2 ways.
You don't have to sit & subject yourself to a situation or conversation that makes you uncomfortable or that goes against the morals you believe in. And that goes for ANYONE
But if you want this to stop, YOU are going to have to take responsibility & do your part too. Don't cry wolf about not wanting to hear about it anymore, but yet sit there & take it when she clearly undermines what you just told her not to do. If you don't want to hear it, stop answering her calls. Cut her off & tell her you'll call her back mid-sentence if she starts to bring it up.
People respond more to silence or a change in tone/demeanor moreso than they do the same ole speeches over & over again.
You don't have to sit & subject yourself to a situation or conversation that makes you uncomfortable or that goes against the morals you believe in. And that goes for ANYONE
But if you want this to stop, YOU are going to have to take responsibility & do your part too. Don't cry wolf about not wanting to hear about it anymore, but yet sit there & take it when she clearly undermines what you just told her not to do. If you don't want to hear it, stop answering her calls. Cut her off & tell her you'll call her back mid-sentence if she starts to bring it up.
People respond more to silence or a change in tone/demeanor moreso than they do the same ole speeches over & over again.
Posted by milono
I know that I can't make her do anything that she doesn't want to. My point of "crafting" some sort of speech to her is...
We know why you want to craft a speech to her .... it's because she doing what you are trying to make her do.
Instead, she is doing what she wants to do ... and you can't stand it because you think you know what is better for her than she knows for herself ... and you can't stand it.
You won't stand for it ..... alas, this issue where you feel slighted exists.
And because you're a control freak .... my hope is that she opens her eyes to realize that you're not a friend.
* isn't
... it's because she isn't doing what you are trying to make her do.
This thread is all about you and it always has been.
Your concern is for yourself, in trying to find advice on how to make her do what you want.
Nowhere in these 8 pages, do you suggest any other motive .. except for to try and figure out how to get her to abide by your wishes.
I feel sorry for your people, in that they have to deal with you.
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or is this an urban myth? I honestly find it hard to believe you have to treat someone like shit to get them to like you
Lets say someone has been distant with you so you take a few steps back as well & when you do finally talk with them the
So I've just recently discovered this site and am in real need of advice. I've known this Capri since august of 2011 and
What's the most drastic thing you ever did to get rid of someone? What's the most drastic thing you ever did to make
The answer is simple, tell her you do not agree with her actions and you cannot enable nor endorse that behavior. Let her know once she is done fucking up everyone's life that you might consider to be there but until then, there is the door. You don't respect her so how can you call her a friend?