No trust?

Can it ever change? Do you stay or go? Do you stay when everything else is perfect? Such a difficult situation. Any thoughts or similar situations? X

Lack of trust creates major issues. How can "everything else" possibly be perfect?

No trust

No thrust

🙃

Posted by MyStarsShine

No trust

No thrust

🙃

Lol!

True that, tho

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Can it ever change? Do you stay or go? Do you stay when everything else is perfect? Such a difficult situation. Any thoughts or similar situations? X

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship IMO. If I can't trust someone I leave them. Time can allow someone to gain my trust, but if I know someone has been dishonest with me from the start, I don't stick around to find out why.

Posted by PhoenixStorm

@sweetpea29777 Easily.

I stopped trusting my ex after he made a mistake. But he also was the type to massage my temples when I had a migraine, made me coffee every morning, breakfast in bed, he was my best friend.. supportive of everything I do, my number one cheerleader. Took care of our son while I was sick, would drop everything to come to my rescue in the event that I needed him (flat tire, car accident, biopsy of lump in my breast.

There are women in relationships with men that they can trust, but they don’t have any of that above.

I totally understand what OP is saying when she says everything else was perfect. It would be easy if the guy was a narcissistic asshole but that’s not always the case. Good people make bad choices and it makes it so much harder to get past it.

As nice as that sounds, my point remains valid. Why? Without trust one may still reap good things, but true PEACE that TRUST brings is gone after it's broken. As you said, "...it makes it so much harder to GET PAST it."

Posted by PhoenixStorm

@sweetpea29777 Easily.

I stopped trusting my ex after he made a mistake. But he also was the type to massage my temples when I had a migraine, made me coffee every morning, breakfast in bed, he was my best friend.. supportive of everything I do, my number one cheerleader. Took care of our son while I was sick, would drop everything to come to my rescue in the event that I needed him (flat tire, car accident, biopsy of lump in my breast.

There are women in relationships with men that they can trust, but they don’t have any of that above.

I totally understand what OP is saying when she says everything else was perfect. It would be easy if the guy was a narcissistic asshole but that’s not always the case. Good people make bad choices and it makes it so much harder to get past it.

Very much the same for me. I'm glad you get what I'm saying. What made you leave in the end? Did they mess up?

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by PhoenixStorm

@sweetpea29777 Easily.

I stopped trusting my ex after he made a mistake. But he also was the type to massage my temples when I had a migraine, made me coffee every morning, breakfast in bed, he was my best friend.. supportive of everything I do, my number one cheerleader. Took care of our son while I was sick, would drop everything to come to my rescue in the event that I needed him (flat tire, car accident, biopsy of lump in my breast.

There are women in relationships with men that they can trust, but they don’t have any of that above.

I totally understand what OP is saying when she says everything else was perfect. It would be easy if the guy was a narcissistic asshole but that’s not always the case. Good people make bad choices and it makes it so much harder to get past it.

As nice as that sounds, my point remains valid. Why? Without trust one may still reap good things, but true PEACE that TRUST brings is gone after it's broken. As you said, "...it makes it so much harder to GET PAST it."

click to expand

It makes it harder to leave because everything else is amazing. It's not as easy as it may seem to people on the outside.

Posted by Mactavish_R

Posted by MyStarsShine

No trust

No thrust

🙃

And that ladies and gentlemen is why I love Scorpio women.

click to expand

Yes we’re the darlings of the zodiac 😍😚

“Curtsies” 👸

I'll have the unpopular opinion here :

... trust in my books is gained, I don't come into a relationship blindly trusting my partner.

It builds overtime and if that is destroyed, it's over forever.

I'm charming I know

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Posted by PhoenixStorm

@sweetpea29777 Easily.

I stopped trusting my ex after he made a mistake. But he also was the type to massage my temples when I had a migraine, made me coffee every morning, breakfast in bed, he was my best friend.. supportive of everything I do, my number one cheerleader. Took care of our son while I was sick, would drop everything to come to my rescue in the event that I needed him (flat tire, car accident, biopsy of lump in my breast.

There are women in relationships with men that they can trust, but they don’t have any of that above.

I totally understand what OP is saying when she says everything else was perfect. It would be easy if the guy was a narcissistic asshole but that’s not always the case. Good people make bad choices and it makes it so much harder to get past it.

Very much the same for me. I'm glad you get what I'm saying. What made you leave in the end? Did they mess up?

I initially found out he cheated in 2016 and left him, then returned after several months to try again. Then left him again in 2018 after finding out he was still texting his ex who is now married and lives across the country. I sometimes wonder if I overreacted because I literally moved out a second time just over a text message. But that’s the thing.. when taking them back you are constantly in protective mode.. can never really feel relaxed again and I was always anxious on edge. It’s heartbreaking honestly because the love doesn’t go anywhere but it wears on you mentally, to keep yourself in a situation where you can’t seem to have peace of mind.

Some people say the answer is to find peace of mind within yourself instead of seeking it in your relationships. I have not learned how to do this yet.

My ex is still trying to get me back to this day, and i’d Be lying if I said I never thought about it and I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss him sometimes.

Wish I could say it gets easier but I’m struggling my damn self. ☹️

click to expand

The feeling ok edge part and lack of peace of mind is such torture I completely get that. There is alot to be said for gaining inner peace of mind. I'm just at a crossroads of what to do. No proof but a gut feeling and many red flags.

I believe its possible to rebuild trust. But it requires a change in BEHAVIOR not just words. Too often we accept the tears and pleading and apologies and then they just go right back to fucking you over. There needs to be some accountability and real marked change in order for trust to be rebuilt. A flowery apology can't magically make everything better.

Tbh I know what I'm doing. I've taken into account everything and it's got better but after mistrust it's hard to rebuild. I am using my head and not my heart. I'll know when time is right x

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by PhoenixStorm

@sweetpea29777 Easily.

I stopped trusting my ex after he made a mistake. But he also was the type to massage my temples when I had a migraine, made me coffee every morning, breakfast in bed, he was my best friend.. supportive of everything I do, my number one cheerleader. Took care of our son while I was sick, would drop everything to come to my rescue in the event that I needed him (flat tire, car accident, biopsy of lump in my breast.

There are women in relationships with men that they can trust, but they don’t have any of that above.

I totally understand what OP is saying when she says everything else was perfect. It would be easy if the guy was a narcissistic asshole but that’s not always the case. Good people make bad choices and it makes it so much harder to get past it.

As nice as that sounds, my point remains valid. Why? Without trust one may still reap good things, but true PEACE that TRUST brings is gone after it's broken. As you said, "...it makes it so much harder to GET PAST it."

When I said it makes it harder to get past it, I was referring to the relationship itself, not the betrayal. The fact that a good person that you love made a mistake doesn’t stop you from loving them and seeing the good in them. Many people with adult children experience this first hand where the kid gets involved with drugs or something else.. it’s horrible, yes.. you can hate the betrayal but still feel for them as a person.

You probably don’t intend to come across this way, but your comment (and others like it) comes across like you think she’s delusional for still feeling that he otherwise was good to her.

click to expand

You've taken this post all the way LEFT 🤦

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by PhoenixStorm

@sweetpea29777 Easily.

I stopped trusting my ex after he made a mistake. But he also was the type to massage my temples when I had a migraine, made me coffee every morning, breakfast in bed, he was my best friend.. supportive of everything I do, my number one cheerleader. Took care of our son while I was sick, would drop everything to come to my rescue in the event that I needed him (flat tire, car accident, biopsy of lump in my breast.

There are women in relationships with men that they can trust, but they don’t have any of that above.

I totally understand what OP is saying when she says everything else was perfect. It would be easy if the guy was a narcissistic asshole but that’s not always the case. Good people make bad choices and it makes it so much harder to get past it.

As nice as that sounds, my point remains valid. Why? Without trust one may still reap good things, but true PEACE that TRUST brings is gone after it's broken. As you said, "...it makes it so much harder to GET PAST it."

I’m not saying she should stay with him. I didn’t stay either. I was just answering your question. You asked how is it possible that everything else is perfect and that was my answer.

click to expand

I received your answer yet my point remains VALID. That's all I'm saying. Doesn't matter to me whether she stays or goes, but I know that TRUST is a core-essential for any true relationship to thrive strong.

Posted by bluepikachu

I think there's always wisdom in trust issues too, you don't have to feel weird or dumb for it, i mean you are still figuring out your own trust about it. Also you would never wanna stay with an abuser , all sorts.

I really like your response. Only I am in this and I do know what I'm doing. Only I can really judge but it's interesting other people's views.

Posted by Mactavish_R

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Mactavish_R

Posted by MyStarsShine

No trust

No thrust

🙃

And that ladies and gentlemen is why I love Scorpio women.

Yes we’re the darlings of the zodiac 😍😚

“Curtsies” 👸

'Darlings' no I don't think so. You're more like the 'Darling Witches of the zodiac' 😏



Even though Cate Blanckett is a Taurus, her Hela role always gives me a Scorpio lady vibes.

click to expand

I was being ironinc 👁😈👁

Posted by Mactavish_R

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Mactavish_R

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Mactavish_R

Posted by MyStarsShine

No trust

No thrust

🙃

And that ladies and gentlemen is why I love Scorpio women.

Yes we’re the darlings of the zodiac 😍😚

“Curtsies” 👸

'Darlings' no I don't think so. You're more like the 'Darling Witches of the zodiac' 😏



Even though Cate Blanckett is a Taurus, her Hela role always gives me a Scorpio lady vibes.

I was being ironinc 👁😈👁

Ofcourse. I forgot you also had a Taurus moon, which makes my Cate Blanckett example even more suitable for you now. 😆😋

click to expand

Moon and Mars in Taurus and in the 2nd!