Not trying to Play the Race Card..But DAM!! (Page 6)

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natural25
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One more thing - PA, what you fail to realize is that the issues that are present in the Black community in genral relate very closely to the disconnect betwen Black men and women. These issues are all interealted in one way or the other. We can not fully address one with out bringing up ALL of the other issues that are present. And THIS is why I stated that you do not have a full culutral perspective of what I am referring to. If you were a Black woman (who lives this day to day) with a full knowledge of what is going on, you would understand/in agreeance and not be arguing with me about this.
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P-Angel
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Posted by natural25
PA: I am not going to continue to go back anf forth with you about this. I did not create the thread to argue, I created it to have a productive conversation. Yes, this is a very personal and sensitive issue. I am very concerned with the "woes" of the Black community. Hence, what I have centred my career around. I am out here in the trenches everyday working with the very young Black men who I speak about. I did not create this thread to bitch and moan. Turth is I love my people! I love my Black sister AND brother. it hurts me to see the way the community is today. I do not want to have an online argument about something that is so perosnal and dear to me. Like I said, conversation great. But i am not up for arguing.

i do not take back anything that I have said. I stand firm by what i have stated. you can twist and pick my words apart if you wish. Have at it. I am not up for it. I should not have to explain or justify myself for the way that I feel. Just like a Black man should not have to justify why he dates outside of his ethninicty.






Again, I'm not talking about how you "feel" about being a black person ..... what part of that don't you understand?


Black men came in here and voiced thier honest opinions on this topic and you threw their testimony out of the window, inferring it insignificant to you because you don't believe it to be true ... though, they were how these black men feel on the issue.


I haven't twisted your words .... you've twisted mine to assess that I'm talking about the struggles of the black woman in today's society and how you feel .... when I haven't.


Why do you insist on looking stupid, when you're not?
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P-Angel
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You have stated that this is a sensitive subject and one in which you are studying .... and it is obvious that you are upset about the injustice of it.



So, when a black man comes in here and states how he feels on this subject ... you cope a defensive attitude, instead of actually being sensitive to it, like you claim?



If the black man feeling like this IS the very problem .... so, your solution to it is to behave in the very way the black man proclaims?

You would actually prove him right, rather than "act" within the very sensitivity in which your voicing is present inside of you?





You make this thread because you want it to be known how wrong this is ...... and then prove the black man right?




wtf?

Seriously ..........
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natural25
@natural25
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Comments: 93 · Posts: 4144 · Topics: 109
PA:"Black men came in here and voiced thier honest opinions on this topic and you threw their testimony out of the window, inferring it insignificant to you because you don't believe it to be true ... though, they were how these black men feel on the issue."

One LAST time. My problem was not that they shared their experience and made it clear that it is only their experience. My problem is that hey did not do that. They spoke about black women in general. they did not say anything about "my experience...but I realize this is not always the case". They spoke in general terms as many other Black men who i have spoken to do.

PA, if you do not understand that, then I do not know what else to say. Lets agree to disagree. I am tired of saying the same thing over and over again.
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P-Angel
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Posted by natural25
One more thing - PA, what you fail to realize is that the issues that are present in the Black community in genral relate very closely to the disconnect betwen Black men and women. These issues are all interealted in one way or the other. We can not fully address one with out bringing up ALL of the other issues that are present. And THIS is why I stated that you do not have a full culutral perspective of what I am referring to. If you were a Black woman (who lives this day to day) with a full knowledge of what is going on, you would understand/in agreeance and not be arguing with me about this.





Again .... you address this to infer that I'm talking about MY UNDERSTANDING of the black woman ...... and I'm not ..... but, again .... you continue to pretend it to be so, at the cost of your own stupidity.


"If you were a Black woman (who lives this day to day) with a full knowledge of what is going on ....."




Why Natural? Why do you insist on looking stupid when you are not?


do you actually think it is me looking stupid, when I haven't even addressed my understanding of the black woman, while you defend it saying I am addressing it?






The black man has spoken .. the black man, not P-Angel .. the fucking black man ...... and you pretend as though it is me.



What an idiot you make yourself look.





Oh .. I get it .... you don't want to address any honest opinion of the black man that he might have towards you, the black woman .... so, you will do what every other ignornat person does ...... pretend it was P-Angel .. right, I'm wrong then .. you are that stupid.


Carry on .....
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natural25
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Comments: 93 · Posts: 4144 · Topics: 109
Posted by P-Angel
You have stated that this is a sensitive subject and one in which you are studying .... and it is obvious that you are upset about the injustice of it.



So, when a black man comes in here and states how he feels on this subject ... you cope a defensive attitude, instead of actually being sensitive to it, like you claim?



If the black man feeling like this IS the very problem .... so, your solution to it is to behave in the very way the black man proclaims?

You would actually prove him right, rather than "act" within the very sensitivity in which your voicing is present inside of you?





You make this thread because you want it to be known how wrong this is ...... and then prove the black man right?




wtf?

Seriously ..........



Im not proving anything right. He made a BLANKET...GERNERAL statement about ALL Black women. He did not specify that this was based solely on his expeirences. This is what upset me. How does generalizong all black women to have horrific attitudes solve the disconnection in the community. If anything it just adds to it. Perpetuates it. In fact, isnt this the very thing that you accused me of doing that is wrong. Of making blaket (which i did not) statments about Black men as a whole.
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P-Angel
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"My problem is that hey did not do that. They spoke about black women in general."



OMG ... you really are that ignorant.




"A few months ago, Oprah had an episode about this. The percentage of single Black women (between the ages of 25 - 45) is almost double to that of White women. Is it our (Black) men— Black men who are in gangs? In jail? Gay? Do not want to date Black women? Losers?"



Those are your words from the OP .... read them very carefullly ...


"Is it our (Black) men— Black men who are in gangs? In jail? Gay?"


You really don't comprehend that you started this thread making a blanket statement about the black man, do you?
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P-Angel
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The percentage of black women who are single within a certain age group is double that of a white woman.


And in this, you asked is it because of the black man, generally speaking.


You didn't say anything about your own experiences, you didn't talk about the black men you knew.


You made a blanket assessment, across the board ..... to insinuate that the reason WHY black women have this issue is because the black man is fucked up ............... generally, not specifically ... generally, the black man.


You started this thread to target the black man and make the suggestion that they are the cause .. THEY, as a whole .. are the cause for the black woman to have this issue.


The very thing in which you have a problem with in the answers given by black men .... is the very exact crime you commit yourself.


Hypocrite



You would say, you don't want to argue, and this is only a discussion .... you meant, so long as everyone agreed that black men are fucked up.
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P-Angel
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I don't agree with your assessment ... black men aren't fucked up across the board.


However, I think you are fucked up for thinking such a thing, and then fiegning as though this isn't what you mean.



It's because of prejudice people like you as to why we still suffer racial problems in the US .... you have taken a whole group of people, labelled them, and then made them the reason why another group of people are self-victims.




And if you think I'm going to be silent about this atrocity, simply because you can't admit your fuck ups .... you are sadly mistaken. I'll never be that person .... and will always be the person who stands up for what is right.



Your accusations are a disgrace ..... the black man isn't the problem ... it's this obvious attitude that has been presented here, to infer that you are victims simply because of being a female within your race.
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P-Angel
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I would agree with you, Wayne .... if she didn't prove herself to mean exactly that by stating that the black man was talking in general terms while she thought she wasn't.


She actually thinks she wasn't talking in general terms about black men ..... and then got defensive when a black man spoke ... this is an indication of her guilt.


You're a Virgo ... so, I don't expect you to grasp undercurrents.
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natural25
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Comments: 93 · Posts: 4144 · Topics: 109
Yes, PA you are correct. I am a disgrace. My accusations are a disgrace. You are correct I do not care about my community and I am complete utter disgrace. That is why I have dedicated my career to making pennies to work with young Black men. I am such an ignorant disgrace....

PA, I am not arguing with you. I am convinced that you want to argue. i have stated on numerous occasions that I do not feel like all black men are any ONE way. I have stated that I know some phenomenol Black men. Again, I work with almost nothing but young Black men who i have cultivated lasting life long relationships with. I have volunteered countless hours working in South Central Los Angeles with young men from gangs such as; Eigth Trey Crips and Grape Street Crips. You will not acknowledge this. You just want to disagree. Again, have at it.

But it is okay, becase you do not know me. You do not know what I do and whose lives I have touched and vise versa. Have at it.
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USCTaurusGal
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Posted by No1delete2

PA: Your accusations are a disgrace ..... the black man isn't the problem ...

The scarcity of eligible black men is A Problem for black women who won't date outside their own race.

This Problem causes anxiety and frustration for black women.

A black woman started this thread, posted the statistics, and asked, "What is really going on?"

Where did she infer that she's a victim??

IMO, educated & successful black women may very well be "victims of their own success" as the saying goes...



You used two very keen words: anxiety & frustration. Ofentimes when people are anxious or frustrated about something, they can not always "see the forest for the trees." While there may be some (black) women who may act/view themselves as "victims" I think (from my OWN experiences/family/friends) that most are NOT feeling they are victims, moreso, they are frustrated; specifically for those women who chose for WHATEVER reasons, not to date anyone outside of their own. Right, wrong or indifferent is not my place to judge. All I will say is that if ANY woman is anxious or frustrated by their dating options, then sometimes you may want to step outside of the situation and take a long, hard look at it from a different perspective. That's not to say it will change your mind, but it may enhance your perspective, and you may see other options. I know I have.
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natural25
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Comments: 93 · Posts: 4144 · Topics: 109
Posted by P-Angel
:::: shakes head at people like you ::::



I'm glad you started this thread .... people need to know this about you all who are discriminating, and have no awareness of such.


I'm finished with any of you who think that the black man is your problem, rather than realizing that YOU are your problem.



Out.



I do not think that Black are the main problem. I think that society is the problem. I have stated this before. I think the imposed self hatred that has manifested throughout the Black community is a problem. This is not only seen in dating this is also seen in women seeking ways to make their nose symetrical, or change the texture of their hair, etc. Like I said, this is not an issue that is as simple as getting head, or black men are dogs, or blakc women have attitudes. This is an issue that is only one of the many symptoms of a broken community...both men and women. I have stated that on numerous occasions.
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natural25
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Comments: 93 · Posts: 4144 · Topics: 109
DYR:"But, why should black woman shoulder that burden alone? Why should black men get to marry whomever they choose, and leave black women alone, and holding the bag..."

My exact question. But I guess I cannot complain, I have a good black man. My main prob with him is not racial, but astrological. He is a dreaded VIRGO!!! Lol. Jk.

Speaking of GOOD Black men... about 30 minutes ago one of my students (Black, 17 years old) came into my office with a brownie. Lol. I guess it was from lunch at 11:30. He knows I am a sucker for chocolate! 🙂
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VirgoHero
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Posted by natural25
DYR:"But, why should black woman shoulder that burden alone? Why should black men get to marry whomever they choose, and leave black women alone, and holding the bag..."

My exact question. But I guess I cannot complain, I have a good black man. My main prob with him is not racial, but astrological. He is a dreaded VIRGO!!! Lol. Jk.

Speaking of GOOD Black men... about 30 minutes ago one of my students (Black, 17 years old) came into my office with a brownie. Lol. I guess it was from lunch at 11:30. He knows I am a sucker for chocolate! 🙂



*AHEMS AT THE BROWNIE ON YOUR DESK*....
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natural25
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Comments: 93 · Posts: 4144 · Topics: 109
Posted by VirgoHero
Posted by natural25
DYR:"But, why should black woman shoulder that burden alone? Why should black men get to marry whomever they choose, and leave black women alone, and holding the bag..."

My exact question. But I guess I cannot complain, I have a good black man. My main prob with him is not racial, but astrological. He is a dreaded VIRGO!!! Lol. Jk.

Speaking of GOOD Black men... about 30 minutes ago one of my students (Black, 17 years old) came into my office with a brownie. Lol. I guess it was from lunch at 11:30. He knows I am a sucker for chocolate! 🙂



*AHEMS AT THE BROWNIE ON YOUR DESK*....
click to expand




I know....I know! It was a small little one. I promise. Lol. Besides, today is my double workout day. I am doing a hour long strength training class followed by an hour long spinning class. Now I feel guilty. Lol.
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natural25
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Comments: 93 · Posts: 4144 · Topics: 109
Posted by No1delete2

VH: *AHEMS AT THE BROWNIE ON YOUR DESK*....

Yeah, I raised my eyebrows at it, too...

:: Cues Van Halen ::

I think of all the education that I missed.
But then my homework was never quite like this.
Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad,
I'm hot for teacher.
I got it bad, so bad,
I'm hot for teacher.



No Dyr. Lol. VH is refering to me eating a brownine. Lol. I am supposed to be eating healthy so that I can get in the best shape of my life! 🙂 Lol. But I am not gonna lie...that brownie hit the spot. I have not had sugar in over 2 weeks. I am a sugar fiend!
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natural25
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Comments: 93 · Posts: 4144 · Topics: 109
VH - Speaking of bad eating habits, listen to the menu that I am goignto have for Mr. Virgo's SURprise partaaayy:

Chicken wings
turkey burgers
chicken burgers
ribs (not for him bc he does not eat pork or beef)
potato salad
fruit platters
veggie platters
spiach salad with almonds and cranberries
mac and cheese
baked beans
greens
deviled eggs
chip and dip
chips and salsa
red velevet cake
cupcakes

Y-U-M!!!!!
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VirgoHero
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Comments: 93 · Posts: 6284 · Topics: 96
Posted by natural25
VH - Speaking of bad eating habits, listen to the menu that I am goignto have for Mr. Virgo's SURprise partaaayy:

Chicken wings
turkey burgers
chicken burgers
ribs (not for him bc he does not eat pork or beef)
potato salad
fruit platters
veggie platters
spiach salad with almonds and cranberries
mac and cheese
baked beans
greens
deviled eggs
chip and dip
chips and salsa
red velevet cake
cupcakes

Y-U-M!!!!!



See...ribs are one of my weaknesses. Plus with it being summer time, I've been messing around with different marinades and rubs.

And honestly, this is a special occasion. Go off and don't worry about it. You eat good normally so you can indulge on special occasions and the weekend. Balance, baby. Balance.
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USCTaurusGal
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Comments: 2 · Posts: 4648 · Topics: 31
Posted by natural25
Posted by No1delete2

VH: *AHEMS AT THE BROWNIE ON YOUR DESK*....

Yeah, I raised my eyebrows at it, too...

:: Cues Van Halen ::

I think of all the education that I missed.
But then my homework was never quite like this.
Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad,
I'm hot for teacher.
I got it bad, so bad,
I'm hot for teacher.



No Dyr. Lol. VH is refering to me eating a brownine. Lol. I am supposed to be eating healthy so that I can get in the best shape of my life! 🙂 Lol. But I am not gonna lie...that brownie hit the spot. I have not had sugar in over 2 weeks. I am a sugar fiend!
click to expand




Damn temptation! Good luck @ natural25! I need to get back into working out too..I had such good intentions, and then I moved and lost all motivation! Le sigh!
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VirgoHero
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Comments: 93 · Posts: 6284 · Topics: 96
Back on point...
Reading today's comments had me pondering a different tangent on the topic.

For you ladies and gents who are married, have been married, or been involved in a long term relationship that may as well have been called a marriage, did you REALLY go into this with that idea that everything met your ideological expectations?

Let me explain further before you answer. Stereotypically in our American society, women have planted at a young age the expectation of "the dream". The dream of marrying (Guy X), he'll provide (Home Y), we'll have (Z amount of kids), and it will be the (XYZ dream life).

With guys, its a different dream. I'm going to drive (Car/Motorcycle X), also play (Sport Y), and become a (Prominent Male Career Figure Z). Oh yea, and I suppose I'll get married...as long as she's hot and has either nice (Boobs A, Legs B, Ass C). XYZ is far more a priority compared to worrying about the race of a mate as long as she has any of ABC.

Most of us would agree that reality is a much harder pill to swallow. There are few who actually do make that society brainwashed dream a reality. Even fewer are those who actually end up HAPPY in said reality until 'death do them part'.

Most of us adapt to our surroundings and experiences, and when luck graces us, we happen to find someone to spend some quality time with. Even luckier if it turns out to be love. If you can accept this last point I made, then my question to you is, is the bottom line really about race when it comes to love or is race just part of the unrealistic expectations of "the dream" we are given as children?

(Continued...)
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VirgoHero
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Comments: 93 · Posts: 6284 · Topics: 96
The only real story I have is a couple I know...

This gal, who is Vietnamese-American, was absolutely convinced from when "the dream" started getting planted in her at a young age, that she was GOING to marry a white guy. She was American and American society dictates that she would marry a white guy! No question in her mind that this was part of her (XYZ dream life).

Who did she end up with? My buddy, who was relentless in her pursuit of her in high school until she couldn't help but date my buddy. College came, they went their separate ways due to distance but still "hooked up" when they could. College went, both had dated other people, but both faced the reality that everyone else they became involved with was nothing but second best. They married soon after and to this day, whenever my buddy speaks to me about this gal, there's nothing but love in his voice for her. Probably one of the few couples I believe will stand the test of time and make it to —death do us part??. Ironically, for all her expectations, my buddy isn't white. He's Vietnamese-American. Society and expectations be damned 😛