Translate (what does this mean in your opinion)

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by Micha on Monday, April 11, 2011 and has 34 replies.

Profile picture of Micha
@Micha
15 Years

"I have A LOT of feelings for you that I'm holding back."

And of course, I said I would like to know how you feel.

I got nothing so I left it be.

Profile picture of ninjamu
@ninjamu
17 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Is that your quote or his/hers? That might be what's confusing.

If it's yours and they didn't respond, then there's your answer. Either they don't know how to respond properly because they are not sure or they are overwhelmed and too scared of this directness. Maybe both.

Actually, that might be the case regardless of whose quote that is.

Profile picture of LibraSid
@LibraSid
16 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

Either:

A. He's a player. He's saying it to play on your emotion. He is playing push/pull. He shows a little and tempts you to work for the rest. He'll say there is more there so you try to dig it out.

or

B. He's insecure. He's been hurt before and is afraid you'll do the same so he is trying to hold back. If he doesn't get as attached it won't hurt as bad when you leave.

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by LibraSid
Either:

A. He's a player. He's saying it to play on your emotion. He is playing push/pull. He shows a little and tempts you to work for the rest. He'll say there is more there so you try to dig it out.

or

B. He's insecure. He's been hurt before and is afraid you'll do the same so he is trying to hold back. If he doesn't get as attached it won't hurt as bad when you leave.

Hit the nail on the head!

Profile picture of LibraSid
@LibraSid
16 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

Posted by ellessque

Posted by LibraSid
Either:

A. He's a player. He's saying it to play on your emotion. He is playing push/pull. He shows a little and tempts you to work for the rest. He'll say there is more there so you try to dig it out.

or

B. He's insecure. He's been hurt before and is afraid you'll do the same so he is trying to hold back. If he doesn't get as attached it won't hurt as bad when you leave.

that is like polar opposites.

how the hell do you tell the difference between the two?

click to expand

The details.

I'm a Libra, there's always at least two choices... 😛

Profile picture of krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts

I agree. There's nothing confusing about what he said. Maybe you don't like what he's saying thus, you're trying to purposely over-complicate things just to soften the blow. Idk.

Here's how I took what he said to you: He's saying that he's not yet ready to fully acknowledge or act on his feelings for you. There's no doubt that he has real feelings for you, BUT he's acknowleding that unless he acts on those feelings or feels content/comfortable fully opening up about them, that it's the same as him not having feelings at all.

He may be insecure or he may just be telling you what he feels you wanna hear. Only HE knows the truth.

Profile picture of Micha
@Micha
15 Years

Posted by ninjamu
Is that your quote or his/hers? That might be what's confusing.

If it's yours and they didn't respond, then there's your answer. Either they don't know how to respond properly because they are not sure or they are overwhelmed and too scared of this directness. Maybe both.

Actually, that might be the case regardless of whose quote that is.

Sorry, it was his quote!

Profile picture of P-Angel
@P-Angel
21 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

As everyone can see ... their answers to translating weren't acknowledged. This is due to everyone misunderstanding Mica's question. You all thought she wanted to know an interpretation of his quotes.

she wants what every person in here wants when making a presentation and saying they are confused or don't get it ....... she wants to know how those words = he loves her

nothing else

She wants him to love her, and as all females, she hangs on his every word, his every action, his every everything .... ready to pounce on anything that even resembles him conveying to her that he loves her.

For the fact that he even said the first phrase to her, means she is making him feel compelled to give her an answer about how he feels about her.

People .... give to her how those 3 phrases translate to .... I love you

Profile picture of krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts

Well there's only 1 problem with his words P-Angel. None of us are even sure that he meant them. Only HE knows what he truly meant. And even the most intelligent "translators" may still get it all wrong.

There's no substitute for "I love you." If a person truly loves you, they'll say it. There's no reason for the extra wording or "read between the lines" language if the message you want to get across to the other person is simple & uncomplicated.

If he wanted to be with her, he'd say it. Hell, he may have said it, BUT the person writing this post is in that mode where she'll see/hear what she wants to see & hear. She's purposely going to hear his words in a particular way that fits her feelings, ego & expectations, which means that even if she discovers the true translation behind his words, it may NOT matter or make a difference until SHE'S ready to step outside of her own head & have the ability to see something for what it truly is, whether it's what she wanted to hear/see or not

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Why do women do this to themselves? Myself included. I am REALLY trying to STOP it. Stop over analyzing and trying to interpret something a man tells me that really needs no interpretation what so ever. Lol. Like krysrenee7 said, if a man wants to be with a woman, he is going to be VERY clear about his desire. The woman will know. WE, as women, make it harder by attempting to infer additional meanings to a very simple comment made by a man.

Regardless of why this guy is —holding back??, he IS holding back and there is really nothing that Micha can do about it. Regardless, if he is telling the truth or running game, the end result yields the same outcome, him holding back. Red flag. Walk away, go on with your life and when and if he comes around with a little more to offer then great, but as of right now, just leave it alone and do not try to read into it you will only drive yourself crazy.

Profile picture of LibraSid
@LibraSid
16 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

Posted by natural25
Regardless of why this guy is —holding back??, he IS holding back and there is really nothing that Micha can do about it. Regardless, if he is telling the truth or running game, the end result yields the same outcome, him holding back. Red flag. Walk away, go on with your life and when and if he comes around with a little more to offer then great, but as of right now, just leave it alone and do not try to read into it you will only drive yourself crazy.

Very well said! When I replied before about how to know the difference between the A and B I mentioned, I was going to write something in about this. That even if you could tell the difference, it doesn't really matter because he isn't ready. I just couldn't word it well enough.

Profile picture of Micha
@Micha
15 Years

Posted by natural25
Why do women do this to themselves? Myself included. I am REALLY trying to STOP it. Stop over analyzing and trying to interpret something a man tells me that really needs no interpretation what so ever. Lol. Like krysrenee7 said, if a man wants to be with a woman, he is going to be VERY clear about his desire. The woman will know. WE, as women, make it harder by attempting to infer additional meanings to a very simple comment made by a man.

Regardless of why this guy is —holding back??, he IS holding back and there is really nothing that Micha can do about it. Regardless, if he is telling the truth or running game, the end result yields the same outcome, him holding back. Red flag. Walk away, go on with your life and when and if he comes around with a little more to offer then great, but as of right now, just leave it alone and do not try to read into it you will only drive yourself crazy.

I needed to hear this as well as what a few others have said.
I appreciate it. It's blunt and it's the truth!
I'm going to walk way after seeing him tomorrow.
Maybe one day he'll let the hurt from the crazy ex-wife go and realize he HAD a good woman in me.
Thanks!

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by natural25
Regardless of why this guy is —holding back??, he IS holding back and there is really nothing that Micha can do about it. Regardless, if he is telling the truth or running game, the end result yields the same outcome, him holding back. Red flag. Walk away, go on with your life and when and if he comes around with a little more to offer then great, but as of right now, just leave it alone and do not try to read into it you will only drive yourself crazy.

Very well said! When I replied before about how to know the difference between the A and B I mentioned, I was going to write something in about this. That even if you could tell the difference, it doesn't really matter because he isn't ready. I just couldn't word it well enough.

click to expand

Riiigghhttt!! My father always tells me, if a man tells a women "he is not ready" or "cant be with her" or anything that is a blatant statement which leads to him distancing himself, it is pointless for the woman to start asking him a million and one questions. OR, to rack her brain trying to read into the reason for him walking away, because at the and of the day, it is what it is, regardless if he is walking away because he has mental issues, he does not like her, he wants to sleep with her mom, he wants to leave to go the circus, etc. Lol. Because, again, if a man wants to be with a woman, he is going to be wit her, and if he is telling the woman that he can't be or is holding back, guess what!?!? He does not want to be with her and her pushing and driving herself insane to figure everything out will only make her appear desperate and needy, which will REALLY seal the deal! Lol.

NOW, with ALL that being said, I emphasize with the Micha because I have been there before. A lot of woman have. Micha, I encourage you to change your mentality when it comes to these sort of scenarios. Look at the outcome and not the reasoning, especially when you will probably never really know the reasoning. Focus on moving forward, whenever a man attempts to distance himself. Focus on being strong and (like P said) not holding onto his every word. When and if he changes his mind, he will be back. But until then try your best to fight that urge to make up excuses and over analyze, because, in most cases, you will end up ve

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Micha

Posted by natural25
Why do women do this to themselves? Myself included. I am REALLY trying to STOP it. Stop over analyzing and trying to interpret something a man tells me that really needs no interpretation what so ever. Lol. Like krysrenee7 said, if a man wants to be with a woman, he is going to be VERY clear about his desire. The woman will know. WE, as women, make it harder by attempting to infer additional meanings to a very simple comment made by a man.

Regardless of why this guy is —holding back??, he IS holding back and there is really nothing that Micha can do about it. Regardless, if he is telling the truth or running game, the end result yields the same outcome, him holding back. Red flag. Walk away, go on with your life and when and if he comes around with a little more to offer then great, but as of right now, just leave it alone and do not try to read into it you will only drive yourself crazy.

I needed to hear this as well as what a few others have said.
I appreciate it. It's blunt and it's the truth!
I'm going to walk way after seeing him tomorrow.
Maybe one day he'll let the hurt from the crazy ex-wife go and realize he HAD a good woman in me.
Thanks!

click to expand

Stay strong, and remain focused on what is best for YOU! You are the priority!!! 🙂

Profile picture of sunshine222
@sunshine222
17 Years

Micha...

norcalman67 is right...listen to him he is wise!

He's putting his feelers out with you because of his not knowing where he stands with you....if you are feeling the same..
I have had guys do this with me and I also have done this...that's why you did not get an answer. If he tells you you may not return his feelings.
This baloney about "knowing" when a man likes you and whatever is true when the guy is aggressive/pushy/forceful however you want to say it...not all men are aggressive...think about it...

And as far as us women overthinking and wanting to know, wanting to be loved, etc...what the heck is wrong with that...who does not want to know if a man has true feelings, or if he loves you....it's awesome to know that!!! And its awesome to daydream about it being possible...oh and men do it too.....

Most of these posts are making it more complicated than necessary!!

Profile picture of krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts

@Micha: Maybe he'll realize that you were 1 of the "good ones" later on & hell, maybe he won't. Regardless, that's NOT your problem anymore. You can't continue to worry about what you CAN'T control. Honey the "what ifs" will drain the hell out of you, so spare yourself future heartache & just leave this all alone.

When you tell yourself to harp on something, you absolutely will. The same goes for the opposite. If you continually tell yourself to move on & NOT to harp on something, you absolutely will. Trust yourself for once. Find that inner strength in you that's designed to come out in moments/situations like this. That inner strength is what ultimately makes you a "good one."

He may never come back or realize your worth or potential. And even if he does come back, whose to say that you won't already be off into the sunset with the guy who got it right & made his feelings clear the FIRST time!??! I'm not saying that you should be close-minded to ever letting him back into your life in the future, BUT by the time you truly move on & realize your worth, I'm sure this guy won't even seem/be as attractive to you anyways.

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by krysrenee7
@Micha: Maybe he'll realize that you were 1 of the "good ones" later on & hell, maybe he won't. Regardless, that's NOT your problem anymore. You can't continue to worry about what you CAN'T control. Honey the "what ifs" will drain the hell out of you, so spare yourself future heartache & just leave this all alone.

When you tell yourself to harp on something, you absolutely will. The same goes for the opposite. If you continually tell yourself to move on & NOT to harp on something, you absolutely will. Trust yourself for once. Find that inner strength in you that's designed to come out in moments/situations like this. That inner strength is what ultimately makes you a "good one."

He may never come back or realize your worth or potential. And even if he does come back, whose to say that you won't already be off into the sunset with the guy who got it right & made his feelings clear the FIRST time!??! I'm not saying that you should be close-minded to ever letting him back into your life in the future, BUT by the time you truly move on & realize your worth, I'm sure this guy won't even seem/be as attractive to you anyways.

PREACH!

Profile picture of P-Angel
@P-Angel
21 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Sounds like krys has convinced you how she views this ... and what a pity because she would have you believe that his words meant something she decided they meant.

He told you exactly as he was feeling .. no interpretations were necessary.

Now, you will go and approach him with an expectation in mind, according to backwards logic. That is sad for both of you.

::: shrugs :::

Suffer as you wish.

Profile picture of natural25
@natural25
17 Years1,000+ Posts

In fact, watching that video made me neck itch. A freaking cat attacked me in December and scratched the hell out of my neck!!!! I got cat scratch fever!!! UUGHH!! It was the WORST! Luckily my neck healed nicely and did not leave any scars. :/

**No one dare laugh✨*