Did you learn anything about yourself while with him that you can openly admire?
String along (Page 2)
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Posted by MsTeeq1974Well, I am looking for a relationship, I just figured the distance would be an issue. The thing is, I don't want to be in a relationship just to be in one. I could be in one right now, but there was always something missing with that person.Posted by christinelovessnickersIt sounds like you weren't really looking for a partner, but rather an experience....no? Like I said...been there, done thst. The biggest risk in that is that when you're only looking or expecting an experience rather than a relationship, details can get overlooked (which already happens organically)...I guess I'm trying to say that details that shouldn't be overlooked end up being overlooked, because you're not necessarily looking to set up residence there. Kind of like a short stay vacation accommodation. You don't feel like you have to inspect the other. My advice is that if you go into for the sake of experience, don't change your mind. Get your experience and move on. I mean, there are always exceptions and serendipity is real. However, I wouldn't change my mind...unless something tangible and HUGE happened. I wouldn't change my mind based on the attraction/chemistry only. When we go into it with the intent of discovering partnership, while the risk of disappointment is higher, at least you're level of observation is on point. You won't miss as many details and/or red flags. That way when you see the red flag, you can analyze whether or not you should bounce.Posted by MsTeeq1974Well, I wasn't going into it expecting to like him. He was cute and figured it would be fun to date a little. Realized it felt easy to be around him and the chemistry was there, or so I thought.
When I chit chatted with my Scorp online for the first time, I asked him why he was single and he said, "trust me, I don't want to be". I tested his theory and replied with, "I'm sure thst you're single because you want to be." He was like, "nope". I said, "Ok then...be my man." After laughing and asking me if it was a set up and telling me that he actually didn't know what to do next....he asked me to meet him that night.
I did and we talked in his truck for two hours. We've been together ever since. Give a man your time who knows at the very least that he WANTS partnership, is ready for it, and actually acts like he wants partnership.click to expand
Posted by MsTeeq1974That I can actually let my guard down.Posted by christinelovessnickersDid you learn anything about yourself while with him that you can openly admire?
It felt natural to me. Normally I am reserved with people, but I wasn't with him.click to expand
I don't mean to, but I usually come off with a giant attitude with people. I never had one with him.
That I can actually communicate with someone easily and am willing to hear what they have to say. Kind of like an adult :p . That statement isn't reading the way I want it to mean. I am good at talking, but communicating when I am putting myself out there isn't always.
Posted by christinelovessnickersI completely understand. You might want to just chalk this experience up to being a part of the dating game then. Sounds like you're a little hurt, but not damaged. That's a good thing...that you're not damPosted by MsTeeq1974Well, I am looking for a relationship, I just figured the distance would be an issue. The thing is, I don't want to be in a relationship just to be in one. I could be in one right now, but there was always something missing with that person.Posted by christinelovessnickersIt sounds like you weren't really looking for a partner, but rather an experience....no? Like I said...been there, done thst. The biggest risk in that is that when you're only looking or expecting an experience rather than a relationship, details can get overlooked (which already happens organically)...I guess I'm trying to say that details that shouldn't be overlooked end up being overlooked, because you're not necessarily looking to set up residence there. Kind of like a short stay vacation accommodation. You don't feel like you have to inspect the other. My advice is that if you go into for the sake of experience, don't change your mind. Get your experience and move on. I mean, there are always exceptions and serendipity is real. However, I wouldn't change my mind...unless something tangible and HUGE happened. I wouldn't change my mind based on the attraction/chemistry only. When we go into it with the intent of discovering partnership, while the risk of disappointment is higher, at least you're level of observation is on point. You won't miss as many details and/or red flags. That way when you see the red flag, you can analyze whether or not you should bounce.Posted by MsTeeq1974Well, I wasn't going into it expecting to like him. He was cute and figured it would be fun to date a little. Realized it felt easy to be around him and the chemistry was there, or so I thought.
When I chit chatted with my Scorp online for the first time, I asked him why he was single and he said, "trust me, I don't want to be". I tested his theory and replied with, "I'm sure thst you're single because you want to be." He was like, "nope". I said, "Ok then...be my man." After laughing and asking me if it was a set up and telling me that he actually didn't know what to do next....he asked me to meet him that night.
I did and we talked in his truck for two hours. We've been together ever since. Give a man your time who knows at the very least that he WANTS partnership, is ready for it, and actually acts like he wants partnership.click to expand
Posted by christinelovessnickersI get what you're saying...no need to back peddle in convo with me. Unlike some of these dxp users, I'm not looking to tear anyone down or apart based off of a glimpse into their life. Even if I knew the ENTIRE story, I don't believe in just tearing someone to shreds especially when they're just polling...seeing how others have handled the circumstance that they're experiencing.Posted by MsTeeq1974That I can actually let my guard down.Posted by christinelovessnickersDid you learn anything about yourself while with him that you can openly admire?
It felt natural to me. Normally I am reserved with people, but I wasn't with him.
I don't mean to, but I usually come off with a giant attitude with people. I never had one with him.
That I can actually communicate with someone easily and am willing to hear what they have to say. Kind of like an adult :p . That statement isn't reading the way I want it to mean. I am good at talking, but communicating when I am putting myself out there isn't always.click to expand
Well, I am looking for a relationship, I just figured the distance would be an issue. The thing is, I don't want to be in a relationship just to be in one. I could be in one right now, but there was always something missing with that person.
I completely understand. You might want to just chalk this experience up to being a part of the dating game then. Sounds like you're a little hurt, but not damaged. That's a good thing...that you're not dam
I think I was, probably still am, in some ways. I just took a lot of time away from guys. Focused on my family and myself. That helped some.
*scratches head* I can't figure out how to get rid of some of the quotes, but not all of them
Posted by MsTeeq1974I appreciate you taking the time.Posted by christinelovessnickersI get what you're saying...no need to back peddle in convo with me. Unlike some of these dxp users, I'm not looking to tear anyone down or apart based off of a glimpse into their life. Even if I knew the ENTIRE story, I don't believe in just tearing someone to shreds especially when they're just polling...seeing how others have handled the circumstance that they're experiencing.Posted by MsTeeq1974That I can actually let my guard down.Posted by christinelovessnickersDid you learn anything about yourself while with him that you can openly admire?
It felt natural to me. Normally I am reserved with people, but I wasn't with him.
I don't mean to, but I usually come off with a giant attitude with people. I never had one with him.
That I can actually communicate with someone easily and am willing to hear what they have to say. Kind of like an adult :p . That statement isn't reading the way I want it to mean. I am good at talking, but communicating when I am putting myself out there isn't always.click to expand
There is only so much info people are willing to put down. I know most of what I put on here is usually only a situation and doesn't normally include the build up to.
Posted by christinelovessnickersExactly. It's been cool chit chatting with you and best of wishes in your healing process!Posted by MsTeeq1974I appreciate you taking the time.Posted by christinelovessnickersI get what you're saying...no need to back peddle in convo with me. Unlike some of these dxp users, I'm not looking to tear anyone down or apart based off of a glimpse into their life. Even if I knew the ENTIRE story, I don't believe in just tearing someone to shreds especially when they're just polling...seeing how others have handled the circumstance that they're experiencing.Posted by MsTeeq1974That I can actually let my guard down.Posted by christinelovessnickersDid you learn anything about yourself while with him that you can openly admire?
It felt natural to me. Normally I am reserved with people, but I wasn't with him.
I don't mean to, but I usually come off with a giant attitude with people. I never had one with him.
That I can actually communicate with someone easily and am willing to hear what they have to say. Kind of like an adult :p . That statement isn't reading the way I want it to mean. I am good at talking, but communicating when I am putting myself out there isn't always.
There is only so much info people are willing to put down. I know most of what I put on here is usually only a situation and doesn't normally include the build up to.click to expand
I don't get how people do it either. Seems like a lot of work for someone you don't care too much about.
String along
Posted by christinelovessnickersQuestion is....why do people accept that role? If they can answer that, perhaps there would be less "string alongs" ?
Why do people do them?
Posted by christinelovessnickersYour confusion/time doesn't cover the fact that you deceived someone. The end doesn't justify the means. You see, how stringing along works is you have someone (you're entertaining with lies and falsehood), but you're going around entertaining other people as well, which the person you're stringing along doesn't know. Deceptive behaviour is never okay.Posted by aquarius09I wonder if someone has strung someone along and once it needed realized the person was actually worth the time.
It's an incredibly selfish thing to do. People do this when they're afraid of being alone, so they have a user mentality thinking "you'll do until someone better comes along." I have never strung anyone along because I wouldn't want this done to me.click to expand
Posted by FleshpotOh, but you do care about them...just enough to give them the runner up position if the right person wasn't found.
I don't get how people do it either. Seems like a lot of work for someone you don't care too much about.
Posted by LetltBThat is a very good question. I am sure for just as many reasons as people do them.
String along
Posted by christinelovessnickersQuestion is....why do people accept that role? If they can answer that, perhaps there would be less "string alongs" ?
Why do people do them?click to expand
Posted by aquarius09I agree. I was just thinking the irony in it would be interesting.Posted by christinelovessnickersYour confusion/time doesn't cover the fact that you deceived someone. The end doesn't justify the means. You see, how stringing along works is you have someone (you're entertaining with lies and falsehood), but you're going around entertaining other people as well, which the person you're stringing along doesn't know. Deceptive behaviour is never okay.Posted by aquarius09I wonder if someone has strung someone along and once it needed realized the person was actually worth the time.
It's an incredibly selfish thing to do. People do this when they're afraid of being alone, so they have a user mentality thinking "you'll do until someone better comes along." I have never strung anyone along because I wouldn't want this done to me.click to expand
Posted by christinelovessnickersI can only think of only one.........desperation.Posted by LetltBThat is a very good question. I am sure for just as many reasons as people do them.
String along
Posted by christinelovessnickersQuestion is....why do people accept that role? If they can answer that, perhaps there would be less "string alongs" ?
Why do people do them?click to expand
Everyone knows when they are being strung along, and 3/4 of them are here in dxp complaining about it.
Posted by LetltBI am not complaining, I just walked away. Just curious as to why some people do it. *shrugs shoulders*Posted by christinelovessnickersI can only think of only one.........desperation.Posted by LetltBThat is a very good question. I am sure for just as many reasons as people do them.
String along
Posted by christinelovessnickersQuestion is....why do people accept that role? If they can answer that, perhaps there would be less "string alongs" ?
Why do people do them?
Everyone knows when they are being strung along, and 3/4 of them are here in dxp complaining about it.click to expand
Posted by christinelovessnickers.Because desperate people give them permission to and allow them to get away with it. My question is WHY?
Just curious as to why some people do it. *shrugs shoulders*click to expand
Posted by LetltBPosted by christinelovessnickersHmm, well maybe like you said desperate, insecure, maybe they really like the person and want to see if it will work, I am sure the list goes on..Because desperate people give them permission to and allow them to get away with it. My question is WHY?
Just curious as to why some people do it. *shrugs shoulders*click to expand
I think when I hang on to someone longer than I should it isn't, at least in my opinion, desperate. I dont feel i NEED them or just anyone...like just keeping someone around just to have someone. I am pretty loyal and when I get to a point where I am than it takes alot for me to walk away from Any kind of relationship. Ego driven I suppose. Maybe a false sense of loyalty. Love until there is no more love.
Posted by aquarius09Leads you to believe the person is fake. Same with people that are "polite" all of thr time.Posted by christinelovessnickersYour confusion/time doesn't cover the fact that you deceived someone. The end doesn't justify the means. You see, how stringing along works is you have someone (you're entertaining with lies and falsehood), but you're going around entertaining other people as well, which the person you're stringing along doesn't know. Deceptive behaviour is never okay.Posted by aquarius09I wonder if someone has strung someone along and once it needed realized the person was actually worth the time.
It's an incredibly selfish thing to do. People do this when they're afraid of being alone, so they have a user mentality thinking "you'll do until someone better comes along." I have never strung anyone along because I wouldn't want this done to me.click to expand
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