Thinking about dumping my BF

First off I'm a Sagittarius, he's a Gemini, we have amazing chemistry. We're also both Aquarius moons so we have a close bond and really love each other deeply because we were friends before we started dating. BUT, lately he's been pissing me off quite a lot. He's lazy within the relationship a lot of times, never really tells me how he feels about me even if I ask him to he says he has to be "in the mood to talk about it" and I don't ask for much honestly I'm not high maintenance. I just want a little bit of reassurance every so often, it's nice to hear how much they care about you, ya know. Also he plays video games a lot, and by a lot I mean almost all day every day. I honestly wouldn't care, as long as I get a little bit of undivided attention at some point, but he's just selfish and doesn't see it as important. You might think by all of this that he doesn't care about me or he's playing me, but I know for a fact that's not true, because he honestly needs me more than I need him, he has a lot of emotional issues and I'm the only person in his entire life he's fully opened up to, so when he's upset, he comes to me. Another thing is he says things that he shouldn't say to me, like backhanded complements almost, or something rude, which I usually understand that he didn't mean it that way, but I'm getting tired of it. I mean it's nice that we can talk about everything, but there's some things you should just keep to yourself. For instance earlier he got drunk, and I was driving us back home, I asked him in the car how drunk he was and he said it was wearing off, so being drunk shouldn't be an excuse. Anyway, we're laying in bed at home and he starts talking about these girls he remembers from when he was in like 2nd grade and they were in 8th and they thought he was a cute little kid so they would come up to him all the time and stuff. Then he was saying how he could probably talk to one of the teachers at his old school and try to figure out who they were. Then he said "what do you think they'd do if they saw me now?" And I said "idk they probably wouldn't know it was you" and then he said "do you think I could get some?" I was pretty pissed when he said this, I mean why the treetrunk would you think that's a good question to ask your girlfriend? I understand that guys think with their dicks, but it's called having a filter. His excuse was "it's all hypothetical, it's never going to actually happen" but no it gets worse. He then has the audacity to say he's been really horny all day and wanted to have sex when we got home, ofcourse I turn him down, and say he doesn't deserve it. Then he was like "are you really that mad?" I responded "I'm not mad, I'm just annoyed. If you really wanted to have sex then you should've been loving instead of rude." And then I tried to keep talking to him about it and he said he was tired and he was trying to go to sleep. Then I was even more annoyed because he wasn't too tired to try and have sex with me, but doesn't wanna talk to me. I've been contemplating breaking up with him for about a week but the past few days he had been doing a lot better being sweet and stuff, so I was like maybe I'm just overreacting a little bit. He has always been somewhat up and down with his affection/emotions I think it's the 2 different sides of him (Gemini), one being sweet and the other being standoffish and stupid. I've dealt with it for a long time and usually just get over things after a while but right now my patience is running very thin. One of my friends told me I should give him an ultimatum and say basically if he doesn't start treating me the way I deserve then things need to end. I don't know if this would work though. I mean I don't like being controlled and I know neither does he, but at this point just talking to him about it does nothing. He just acts like it shouldn't be a big deal, and then tries to make excuses. I don't want to give up on our relationship, I love him with all my heart, but I'm not going to let someone treat me like butter half the time, and only try when they feel like it. Don't know what to do...

Gemini's can and will say the most off the wall stuff at the most inoppurtune times lol. that's sort of par for the course.

how long have you been with him? perhaps more than a weeks time should be considered if you have been with him long term.

but only you can determine if you are happy continuing this relationship or not. all relationships hit rough patches, they all go through rough times. do the good times outweigh the bad for you?

ultimately, you should do what you feel will be in your own best personal interest.

also, being straightforward with him is obviously the best route. you should express your concerns openly and directly to him, without being too harsh. Gemini's do like to communicate, but you might not understand what they are saying lol (:

Posted by Oblivion
Gemini's can and will say the most off the wall stuff at the most inoppurtune times lol. that's sort of par for the course.

how long have you been with him? perhaps more than a weeks time should be considered if you have been with him long term.

but only you can determine if you are happy continuing this relationship or not. all relationships hit rough patches, they all go through rough times. do the good times outweigh the bad for you?

ultimately, you should do what you feel will be in your own best personal interest.

also, being straightforward with him is obviously the best route. you should express your concerns openly and directly to him, without being too harsh. Gemini's do like to communicate, but you might not understand what they are saying lol (:

We have been on and off for over a year, but it's been his decision to break up every time, and then he always comes back because he realizes that he doesn't want to lose me. When we got back together this past time he told me he realized that he has abandonment issues, so he runs away from me because subconsciously he thinks he's going to get hurt. He said this time when he gets scared he might shut off but he's going to hopefully eventually get over it, it'll just take time. Which I'm trying to be understanding, but the rude comments are just bullshit. I don't know if the good outweighs the bad right now, but it does sometimes. It's like up and down every week or 2

Posted by CaringSagittarius

Posted by Oblivion
Gemini's can and will say the most off the wall stuff at the most inoppurtune times lol. that's sort of par for the course.

how long have you been with him? perhaps more than a weeks time should be considered if you have been with him long term.

but only you can determine if you are happy continuing this relationship or not. all relationships hit rough patches, they all go through rough times. do the good times outweigh the bad for you?

ultimately, you should do what you feel will be in your own best personal interest.

also, being straightforward with him is obviously the best route. you should express your concerns openly and directly to him, without being too harsh. Gemini's do like to communicate, but you might not understand what they are saying lol (:

We have been on and off for over a year, but it's been his decision to break up every time, and then he always comes back because he realizes that he doesn't want to lose me. When we got back together this past time he told me he realized that he has abandonment issues, so he runs away from me because subconsciously he thinks he's going to get hurt. He said this time when he gets scared he might shut off but he's going to hopefully eventually get over it, it'll just take time. Which I'm trying to be understanding, but the rude comments are just bullshit. I don't know if the good outweighs the bad right now, but it does sometimes. It's like up and down every week or 2

click to expand

so he breaks up with you and comes crawling back? is this a regular occurrence? that is not ok, and you can't keep letting him do that. he knows he can come and go as he pleases and you'll just always be waiting there for him.

the more you reveal about him, he doesn't sound like the best guy. I can see more clearly why you have issues me insecurites about your relationship.

I think you should take some time away from him to really think if this is something you actually want to deal with for the long term.

it also sounds like you are unhappy more often than not, with a few bright spots here and there in a mostly abysmal relationship. I could also be projecting though (:

I think at the very least you should take some time to yourself, create some space so you can think without his influence. although, truthfully I think you already have the answer, but executing it is often painful and difficult.

be strong, stand up for yourself, because sometimes no one else will

I really don't understand how can women stand Gemini men...

Just kick him to the curb...he isn't worth it!

Posted by Oblivion

Posted by CaringSagittarius

Posted by Oblivion
Gemini's can and will say the most off the wall stuff at the most inoppurtune times lol. that's sort of par for the course.

how long have you been with him? perhaps more than a weeks time should be considered if you have been with him long term.

but only you can determine if you are happy continuing this relationship or not. all relationships hit rough patches, they all go through rough times. do the good times outweigh the bad for you?

ultimately, you should do what you feel will be in your own best personal interest.

also, being straightforward with him is obviously the best route. you should express your concerns openly and directly to him, without being too harsh. Gemini's do like to communicate, but you might not understand what they are saying lol (:

We have been on and off for over a year, but it's been his decision to break up every time, and then he always comes back because he realizes that he doesn't want to lose me. When we got back together this past time he told me he realized that he has abandonment issues, so he runs away from me because subconsciously he thinks he's going to get hurt. He said this time when he gets scared he might shut off but he's going to hopefully eventually get over it, it'll just take time. Which I'm trying to be understanding, but the rude comments are just bullshit. I don't know if the good outweighs the bad right now, but it does sometimes. It's like up and down every week or 2

so he breaks up with you and comes crawling back? is this a regular occurrence? that is not ok, and you can't keep letting him do that. he knows he can come and go as he pleases and you'll just always be waiting there for him.

the more you reveal about him, he doesn't sound like the best guy. I can see more clearly why you have issues me insecurites about your relationship.

I think you should take some time away from him to really think if this is something you actually want to deal with for the long term.

it also sounds like you are unhappy more often than not, with a few bright spots here and there in a mostly abysmal relationship. I could also be projecting though (:

I think at the very least you should take some time to yourself, create some space so you can think without his influence. although, truthfully I think you already have the answer, but executing it is often painful and difficult.

be strong, stand up for yourself, because sometimes no one else will

click to expand

Well it's happened twice, the first time he thought it was just culture shock and adjusting to starting college, but then after the second time he realized there was a deeper issue there. I've only given him chances because I know that he really does have these underlying issues, and he wants to be with me and loves me at the end of the day, and that he's trying to change this. But yes, it's hard for me, and am I willing to put myself through all of this? I was, for a long time, because I care that much, but slowly like I said my patience is running thin.

Posted by CaringSagittarius

Posted by Oblivion

Posted by CaringSagittarius

Posted by Oblivion
Gemini's can and will say the most off the wall stuff at the most inoppurtune times lol. that's sort of par for the course.

how long have you been with him? perhaps more than a weeks time should be considered if you have been with him long term.

but only you can determine if you are happy continuing this relationship or not. all relationships hit rough patches, they all go through rough times. do the good times outweigh the bad for you?

ultimately, you should do what you feel will be in your own best personal interest.

also, being straightforward with him is obviously the best route. you should express your concerns openly and directly to him, without being too harsh. Gemini's do like to communicate, but you might not understand what they are saying lol (:

We have been on and off for over a year, but it's been his decision to break up every time, and then he always comes back because he realizes that he doesn't want to lose me. When we got back together this past time he told me he realized that he has abandonment issues, so he runs away from me because subconsciously he thinks he's going to get hurt. He said this time when he gets scared he might shut off but he's going to hopefully eventually get over it, it'll just take time. Which I'm trying to be understanding, but the rude comments are just bullshit. I don't know if the good outweighs the bad right now, but it does sometimes. It's like up and down every week or 2

so he breaks up with you and comes crawling back? is this a regular occurrence? that is not ok, and you can't keep letting him do that. he knows he can come and go as he pleases and you'll just always be waiting there for him.

the more you reveal about him, he doesn't sound like the best guy. I can see more clearly why you have issues me insecurites about your relationship.

I think you should take some time away from him to really think if this is something you actually want to deal with for the long term.

it also sounds like you are unhappy more often than not, with a few bright spots here and there in a mostly abysmal relationship. I could also be projecting though (:

I think at the very least you should take some time to yourself, create some space so you can think without his influence. although, truthfully I think you already have the answer, but executing it is often painful and difficult.

be strong, stand up for yourself, because sometimes no one else will

Well it's happened twice, the first time he thought it was just culture shock and adjusting to starting college, but then after the second time he realized there was a deeper issue there. I've only given him chances because I know that he really does have these underlying issues, and he wants to be with me and loves me at the end of the day, and that he's trying to change this. But yes, it's hard for me, and am I willing to put myself through all of this? I was, for a long time, because I care that much, but slowly like I said my patience is running thin.

click to expand

so basically he dips during a crisis type situation? red flag.

I understand you love him and feelings run deep, but it almost sounds like you stay with him out of more a sense of obligation than actually just wanting to be there. it sounds like you have been his savior, yet it doesn't seem to go both ways.

love is blinding, love is harsh, love is not defined by happiness as many would think.

sounds like you're starting to see that perhaps you don't always want to take care of him, enable him.

again, the choice is really yours.

it's hard to let go, but think about it for a while and ponder this..are you truly happy in this relationship overall? do you feel fulfilled? do you feel stable?

these are all paramount things.

ponder away (: