To what extent is celebrity crushes a problem?

Hi everybody,

I would like to know everybody's input on how far celebrity crushes should be tolerated within a relationship? I just recently broke up my relationship and this was partially a deciding factor. My thoughts and feelings about the issue is that having a celebrity crush is not a deal breaker, but a vocal one can be. In my personal case, the person I was dating would made me feel as I was in 2nd and 3rd place. She would use social media and say that this singer was "her weakness and perfect husband".. ect, but I would not receive anything remotely inquisitive from her. I feel as a man who is doing the best to move forward with a productive relationship, putting time & effort and doing all the little things that men don't do anymore, it's disrespectful and hurtful to praise and admire other men. When gently brought up, of-course she denied and called me insecure. You think she would accept the same conditions if the roles were reversed? Of-course not, because your ruining the 1 on 1 intimacy that constitutes a relationship. My example is a bit different, but what are your thoughts on the matter?

Cheers

Only a Pisces could have these problems.

Sighs.

Posted by crabRiot
Only a Pisces could have these problems.

Sighs.

What does having a Pisces have to do with anything? Your totally fine putting in 100 and getting back 20?

Posted by Piscesdream89

Posted by crabRiot
Only a Pisces could have these problems.

Sighs.

What does having a Pisces have to do with anything? Your totally fine putting in 100 and getting back 20?

click to expand

I'm just being sarcastic hun but if you have a problem with how he's acting just bounce. Think about it how delusional can someone be to put a celebrity, pretty much a fantasy person over his actual woman.I would laugh at him and just go ghost.

*she and her, made a couple errors there.

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

You good. I did think it over to myself to make sure I wasn't being to insecure or stupid about the matter. But in the long term, I was just tired of being put in second place. I never expect anything more or less than what I give out and I think that's fair.

Posted by channingtatumsneck
you can also post your question here

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/the-powder-room/beta-male-uprising-headquarters-5785705/

lol

Posted by Piscesdream89

Posted by crabRiot
Only a Pisces could have these problems.

Sighs.

What does having a Pisces have to do with anything? Your totally fine putting in 100 and getting back 20?

click to expand

Putting in 100 from your perspective, though ... which isn't a legit statistic considering he hasn't spoken on his perspective of the 100

It's possible he wanted you to turn him on with the talk he kept trying to engage you in ... in which case, you were probably closer to a 15% to him

There's no question that you are very insecure ..... every sexually healthy couple has fantasies they share. It's part of the experience.

Since you didn't engage, and instead got closed lipped about it ....... he's probably relieved the prune finally shriveled up, so he could be free

So you're assuming she would come to the same conclusion as you if the roles were reversed?

Not everyone is going to share the same perspective as you.

People are going to find other people attractive on a physical level. Some people are more vocal about these types of things, others are not.

If anything her vocalizing these thoughts creates intimacy. Transparent intimacy. Sad that you're not capable of viewing it that way.

/fistbump to this chick who got away before you boiled her rabbit.

Posted by Piscesdream89

Hi everybody,

I would like to know everybody's input on how far celebrity crushes should be tolerated within a relationship? I just recently broke up my relationship and this was partially a deciding factor. My thoughts and feelings about the issue is that having a celebrity crush is not a deal breaker, but a vocal one can be. In my personal case, the person I was dating would made me feel as I was in 2nd and 3rd place. She would use social media and say that this singer was "her weakness and perfect husband".. ect, but I would not receive anything remotely inquisitive from her. I feel as a man who is doing the best to move forward with a productive relationship, putting time & effort and doing all the little things that men don't do anymore, it's disrespectful and hurtful to praise and admire other men. When gently brought up, of-course she denied and called me insecure. You think she would accept the same conditions if the roles were reversed? Of-course not, because your ruining the 1 on 1 intimacy that constitutes a relationship. My example is a bit different, but what are your thoughts on the matter?

Cheers

Everyone has a level of insecurity, it can't be cured but as U get older you get better at maintaining it, it's all part n parcel I'm afraid. The feeling is nasty and it makes you feel weak and useless but if you learn to face your fear you can come out on the other side very liberated and all the more wiser when approaching relationships.

How long have u guys been going out for? If it's only 5 months then it's nothing and you should be taking it slow, even if it's 7 months or even up to a year you should be taking it slow, don't expect to be the apple of someone's eye from the get go, if you want that tight one on one relationship well it takes years of trust to get to that and you certainly won't get there if you dump girls for making you feel insecure, take responsibility for your feelings and understand what you're afraid of.

That's my stance on it but also you aren't at liberty to hang around anyone who makes you feel insecure, I certainly don't. Although my boyfriend does occasionally, he always does things to show that I'm his man.

I've been fantasizing about Tom Hardy lately...
It's not just me is it guys...
Guys?

Posted by P-Angel

There's no question that you are very insecure ..... every sexually healthy couple has fantasies they share. It's part of the experience.

Since you didn't engage, and instead got closed lipped about it ....... he's probably relieved the prune finally shriveled up, so he could be free

She.

Posted by capricornmoon

Posted by wagtail
I've been fantasizing about Tom Hardy lately...
It's not just me is it guys...
Guys?

Eww., he likes to dip in peanut butter every now and then.

click to expand

Sounds delicious...?

Posted by capricornmoon

Posted by BlackMamba

Posted by wagtail

Posted by capricornmoon

Posted by wagtail
I've been fantasizing about Tom Hardy lately...
It's not just me is it guys...
Guys?

Eww., he likes to dip in peanut butter every now and then.

Sounds delicious...?

Lol lol lol funniest reply ever! Dude she means he likes to tap butt. Men's butt. Lol looooool

LOL. I think she knows tho,

*i hope she knows, I hope she cares*

click to expand

Oh no, I thought it was actual peanut butter, like the sandwich spread, which still sounds like a euphemism - like something he did one time and now every one makes jokes about it...
oops

I like peanut butter.... and I thought... Tom Hardy... never mind 😢

That's okay... there's stil Bradley Cooper and Cumberbatch. Or Kit Harrington, or Marlon Teixeira...
or Robert Downey Jnr...
Or Chris Evans, or Chris Pratt, or Zac Efron or Ryan Gosling or Paul Newman...or that other dude from that movie one time...
Or the other guy on that show Friday nights... or Freddy Rodriguez- totes obsessed with him in Six Feet Under lol
~Le sigh~

Most people have celebrity crushes and most couples give each other a pre-determined "celebrity pass" for if they ever have an opportunity to get with a celebrity. Because, like, the reality of it happening, is like...well, like...nonexistent.

Posted by P-Angel

There's no question that you are very insecure ..... every sexually healthy couple has fantasies they share. It's part of the experience.

Since you didn't engage, and instead got closed lipped about it ....... he's probably relieved the prune finally shriveled up, so he could be free

Its a woman and your statement is a fallacious argument. The problem at hand was that I was in a relationship that I felt was not mutually exclusive to me. These were not little crushes or finding someone attractive, but bolstering through social media that another man was her weakness and perfect man. To me, that is a sign of disrespect because after two years, I assumed that the said statement would of been about me; Gestures and show of affection in a committed relationship. Insecurity has nothing to do with it, its the nature and respect in a relationship. I'm not going to get sexually aroused with her telling me her wild fantasy's with celebrity men.

Posted by Skitty
So you're assuming she would come to the same conclusion as you if the roles were reversed?

Not everyone is going to share the same perspective as you.

People are going to find other people attractive on a physical level. Some people are more vocal about these types of things, others are not.

If anything her vocalizing these thoughts creates intimacy. Transparent intimacy. Sad that you're not capable of viewing it that way.

/fistbump to this chick who got away before you boiled her rabbit.

I'm confused, how am I suppose to feel wonderful and secure about her vocalizing her deep desires for another man? Am I missing something? After two years, I expected that I would be close to being the "perfect husband or whatever", not a rapper. What incentive do I have in a serious relationship if she shows off another man but me?

I have no incentive to boil her rabbit.

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11

Posted by Piscesdream89

Hi everybody,

I would like to know everybody's input on how far celebrity crushes should be tolerated within a relationship? I just recently broke up my relationship and this was partially a deciding factor. My thoughts and feelings about the issue is that having a celebrity crush is not a deal breaker, but a vocal one can be. In my personal case, the person I was dating would made me feel as I was in 2nd and 3rd place. She would use social media and say that this singer was "her weakness and perfect husband".. ect, but I would not receive anything remotely inquisitive from her. I feel as a man who is doing the best to move forward with a productive relationship, putting time & effort and doing all the little things that men don't do anymore, it's disrespectful and hurtful to praise and admire other men. When gently brought up, of-course she denied and called me insecure. You think she would accept the same conditions if the roles were reversed? Of-course not, because your ruining the 1 on 1 intimacy that constitutes a relationship. My example is a bit different, but what are your thoughts on the matter?

Cheers

Everyone has a level of insecurity, it can't be cured but as U get older you get better at maintaining it, it's all part n parcel I'm afraid. The feeling is nasty and it makes you feel weak and useless but if you learn to face your fear you can come out on the other side very liberated and all the more wiser when approaching relationships.

How long have u guys been going out for? If it's only 5 months then it's nothing and you should be taking it slow, even if it's 7 months or even up to a year you should be taking it slow, don't expect to be the apple of someone's eye from the get go, if you want that tight one on one relationship well it takes years of trust to get to that and you certainly won't get there if you dump girls for making you feel insecure, take responsibility for your feelings and understand what you're afraid of.

That's my stance on it but also you aren't at liberty to hang around anyone who makes you feel insecure, I certainly don't. Although my boyfriend does occasionally, he always does things to show that I'm his man.

click to expand

Hey thanks for your modest response.

I'm afraid this forum could be a gold mine without the judgmental opinions. We all have our character flaws and weaknesses, but I try my best to be objective and mature. In this case, the relationship was not a bad one, but over the course of two years, she made allot of judgmental opinions. She didn't like some of the ways I think, certain criticisms that I wouldn't make to her. However, she would take celebrities and call them perfect, ect.

Posted by Huldra

Posted by Piscesdream89

Posted by P-Angel

There's no question that you are very insecure ..... every sexually healthy couple has fantasies they share. It's part of the experience.

Since you didn't engage, and instead got closed lipped about it ....... he's probably relieved the prune finally shriveled up, so he could be free

Its a woman and your statement is a fallacious argument. The problem at hand was that I was in a relationship that I felt was not mutually exclusive to me. These were not little crushes or finding someone attractive, but bolstering through social media that another man was her weakness and perfect man. To me, that is a sign of disrespect because after two years, I assumed that the said statement would of been about me; Gestures and show of affection in a committed relationship. Insecurity has nothing to do with it, its the nature and respect in a relationship. I'm not going to get sexually aroused with her telling me her wild fantasy's with celebrity men.

It's a celwbrity crush, dude. Hubdreds of women pine over Hollywood men. Hubdreds of men pine over Hollywood women. So you really see that as a legitimate threat??

click to expand

Ay man, No need to be coy and disrespectful. Would you like to share your flaws?

Anyhow, since you do not have a total understanding of the relationship I was in, I tried to explain the best I could. If you read carefully, you could understand with more objectivity.

Hahaha oh dear.

Posted by Huldra
That's what I stated in my first reply, needn't make it one in first place is what I was getting at.

Of-course there is more but no one is going to care enough to read a wall of text. But I'm still confused , how is a partner who is obsessed with another man or woman that is not you beneficial to a relationship?