wheelhomies
@wheelhomies
19 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 15279 · Topics: 125
when it comes to exes...
Wheels,
Pretty eyes 🙂
Pretty eyes 🙂
I think about almost all of my exes.
I mean, I liked them/dated them for a reason = aka they were pretty effing cool. So even though we aren't involved anymore, doesn't mean I don't miss them as a person.
I always try to remain friends, even though I know it's not always realistic, especially if the breakup was not a mutual decision.
I'm not like BFFLs with any of them, but if I see them out I always say hi and give them a hug and catch up with them.
I think out of all of my exes I'm only on bad terms with one & that's all his decision. He's the only one holding a grudge. He thinks I "ruined" his life. I think he is over-dramatic...we only dated for like 5 months?
I mean, I liked them/dated them for a reason = aka they were pretty effing cool. So even though we aren't involved anymore, doesn't mean I don't miss them as a person.
I always try to remain friends, even though I know it's not always realistic, especially if the breakup was not a mutual decision.
I'm not like BFFLs with any of them, but if I see them out I always say hi and give them a hug and catch up with them.
I think out of all of my exes I'm only on bad terms with one & that's all his decision. He's the only one holding a grudge. He thinks I "ruined" his life. I think he is over-dramatic...we only dated for like 5 months?
VirgoHero,
Thank you 🙂
but you really have no idea. 😉
c'mon, someone answer mis preguntas!
Thank you 🙂
but you really have no idea. 😉
c'mon, someone answer mis preguntas!
see this!
Posted by brianafay
I think about almost all of my exes.
I mean, I liked them/dated them for a reason = aka they were pretty effing cool. So even though we aren't involved anymore, doesn't mean I don't miss them as a person.
that's how i feel too.
Posted by brianafay
I always try to remain friends, even though I know it's not always realistic, especially if the breakup was not a mutual decision.
I'm not like BFFLs with any of them, but if I see them out I always say hi and give them a hug and catch up with them.
click to expand
right..you could never be BFFs cause that would just make things complicated.
i guess going along with my original questions, is it selfish to want them to be a part of your life to some extent?
I don't think it's selfish...because your intention isn't to possess them or expect them to hold onto you and never move on with their lives.
You just appreciate them for who they are, and realize they contribute something positive to your life.
I actually think it's a beautiful trait to appreciate people and recognize their good qualities.
You just appreciate them for who they are, and realize they contribute something positive to your life.
I actually think it's a beautiful trait to appreciate people and recognize their good qualities.
there's absolutely nothing wrong with wondering how someone from ur past is doing... whether or not things ended badly.
now there is no definitive answer to ur questions. answers to these are entirely on a case-by-case basis. there are other important questions to ask urself and u must always keep in mind the feelings of ur ex. if u weren't good for each other's health then why would u want to return to that? do u know if ur ex is/was bitter about the break-up? i'd say after some time has passed, and it ended under mutual understanding, then i think it's ok to re-establish the friendship. i would communicate everything if there is a reconciliation. make sure there's no room for questions. old feelings could be dredged up and cause unnecessary and unwanted drama. if u know for a fact that u do not ever want to be in an intimate relationship with this person, let it be known. if they'd been wanting to reconcile this entire time they might see ur initiation for re-contact as a window of opportunity. see what i'm saying?
i am still good friends with my current ex. i broke it off but it was mutual nonetheless. we agreed that we made much better friends than lovers. we know the other quite well so it works for us. now i can't say the same thing about my first bf. he tried to become friends with me years after our break-up. he was pretty much like a stranger to me so i gave it a shot. maybe he grew up a little? nope! i still found him incredibly annoying and he was still someone i could not have in my life. so it really all depends u see.
now there is no definitive answer to ur questions. answers to these are entirely on a case-by-case basis. there are other important questions to ask urself and u must always keep in mind the feelings of ur ex. if u weren't good for each other's health then why would u want to return to that? do u know if ur ex is/was bitter about the break-up? i'd say after some time has passed, and it ended under mutual understanding, then i think it's ok to re-establish the friendship. i would communicate everything if there is a reconciliation. make sure there's no room for questions. old feelings could be dredged up and cause unnecessary and unwanted drama. if u know for a fact that u do not ever want to be in an intimate relationship with this person, let it be known. if they'd been wanting to reconcile this entire time they might see ur initiation for re-contact as a window of opportunity. see what i'm saying?
i am still good friends with my current ex. i broke it off but it was mutual nonetheless. we agreed that we made much better friends than lovers. we know the other quite well so it works for us. now i can't say the same thing about my first bf. he tried to become friends with me years after our break-up. he was pretty much like a stranger to me so i gave it a shot. maybe he grew up a little? nope! i still found him incredibly annoying and he was still someone i could not have in my life. so it really all depends u see.
I agree with Ninjamu
What's up Bear, Welcome back bro!
I don't see why it's wrong to be friends with any of your exes, but I'm not in that band wagon in being friends with them. I would probably say being acquaintances is ok but for me anything other than that is non-treading territory. I believe that everything that happens in the past should stay in the past. Don't want nothing to resurface.
-SMiLES
I don't see why it's wrong to be friends with any of your exes, but I'm not in that band wagon in being friends with them. I would probably say being acquaintances is ok but for me anything other than that is non-treading territory. I believe that everything that happens in the past should stay in the past. Don't want nothing to resurface.
-SMiLES
Posted by brianafay
I don't think it's selfish...because your intention isn't to possess them or expect them to hold onto you and never move on with their lives.
You just appreciate them for who they are, and realize they contribute something positive to your life.
I actually think it's a beautiful trait to appreciate people and recognize their good qualities.
i think so too. sometimes it's not as simple as "you're not good enough to be my boyfriend, wanna be my friend instead?" so it wouldn't necessarily be an insult that an ex want you in their life. in some cases yes, but not all.
Posted by XFoosMePosted by wheelhomies
right..you could never be BFFs cause that would just make things complicated.
wheel, my ex is my BFF. We were together for about 2.5 years about 20 years ago. In fact, we became friends about 6 months after our breakup. He will always be the closest person in my life. Things have always been a bit complicated with the people we've dated and his current wife, but he will always be one of the most special people in my life. I'm very close with another ex as well.
Just because we weren't right for eachother as partners does not mean I will not ALWAYS love them both dearly. I certainly don't feel that way about all of my ex's, but these two were special. They know me in a way no one else does which makes them invaluable when it comes to relationship advise. I just think there is something so beautiful about being able to put all of our problems behind us and only seeing why drew us together.click to expand
awww. that is beautiful. i'm really glad you've been able to do that.
I think it's natural to wonder what they are doing or how they are doing as they were a part of your life but as for being in their lives I think that could be complicated to a degree on either side with new partners etc, unless there are children involved and then it's a matter of having to make somethings work.
Remember you have broken up and there are reason for that...
I would suspect that if you want to be a apart of their lives it's because you haven't completely got over them and hold a glimmer of hope still...cos anyone that I can think of that I'd be happy to see again or would like to know where they are at, I will admit that I would give a second chance to if they asked.
Remember you have broken up and there are reason for that...
I would suspect that if you want to be a apart of their lives it's because you haven't completely got over them and hold a glimmer of hope still...cos anyone that I can think of that I'd be happy to see again or would like to know where they are at, I will admit that I would give a second chance to if they asked.
I just say no to EX's. No matter what the situation is when I'm done I'm done.
Posted by sweethearts
I would suspect that if you want to be a apart of their lives it's because you haven't completely got over them and hold a glimmer of hope still...cos anyone that I can think of that I'd be happy to see again or would like to know where they are at, I will admit that I would give a second chance to if they asked.
i can see why you'd think that...it's not always the case though.
It definitely has to do with the individuals involved. I don't mean to sound callous, but overwhelmingly, I don't care once I'm done ... with the caveat, that sometimes we are all weak and human, and want to know what's happening with someone from our past - it's only human. Anyway, the only guy that I dated that I am extremely close to is my ex-fiance'. I will always love him, and he will always love me; however, NOT in the "we should get back together way." We grew up together since we went to college together, moved across the country (twice) together. It's impossible for me to just push him out -- trust me, I tried, but being the typical Libra male that he is, he couldn't except me not being in his life at all. Now, we are very good friends, and he's done a hell of a lot for me that he didn't/doesn't have to do. Everything happens for a reason; he and I weren't meant to be. It doesn't make him a good or bad person, or me a good or bad person it simply - is what it is. My problem is that I have a lot of male friends in general, and I see how they are with their women (even the "nice ones") and I just don't like it because they are all cheaters, etc. I am NOT saying that all men are cheaters, but I've had the unfortunate pleasure of being associated with these types of guys (athletes, etc). Even my "nice" male friends still do "dirt" from time to time. I just say if that's what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life if I chose to be in a relationship, then I am 1,000,000,000 times better off by myself.
Id say cut an ex off completely
I think it's safe to say I'm not friends with my exes.
I have an Aries ex and we're "friends" in the sense that we like each other and when we randomly see each other it's not awkward and we're always happy to see one another. We don't call, text or email regularly though.
But there's a Capricorn ex that I want nothing to do with. If I saw him I wouldn't bother to acknowledge him. It ended horribly though but it was a long time ago. Come to think of it, all my relationships end "bad" (as in not mutual) but the Cap was the only person where I had a genuine personality clash.
I can see how friendship with an ex could work but then I think about if I had a boyfriend that was bff with their ex and that's something I don't ever want to deal with. It's like something I would need to know at the beginning of a relationship so then I could run fast! I'd rather have nothing than be jealous or going crazy yah know 🙂
I have an Aries ex and we're "friends" in the sense that we like each other and when we randomly see each other it's not awkward and we're always happy to see one another. We don't call, text or email regularly though.
But there's a Capricorn ex that I want nothing to do with. If I saw him I wouldn't bother to acknowledge him. It ended horribly though but it was a long time ago. Come to think of it, all my relationships end "bad" (as in not mutual) but the Cap was the only person where I had a genuine personality clash.
I can see how friendship with an ex could work but then I think about if I had a boyfriend that was bff with their ex and that's something I don't ever want to deal with. It's like something I would need to know at the beginning of a relationship so then I could run fast! I'd rather have nothing than be jealous or going crazy yah know 🙂
I think it's pretty safe to say those who can't be friends - or atleast be "friendly" - with their exes are still bitter/hurt by the breakup or the relationship in general.
Not saying this is a bad thing, however, as some people really suck and don't deserve your friendship, especially after the shit they pull during/after the relationship.
Not saying this is a bad thing, however, as some people really suck and don't deserve your friendship, especially after the shit they pull during/after the relationship.
:O
really?
really?
Posted by wheelhomies
is it wrong to wonder how they're doing? not in a nosy or ha! i'm doing better than you are way, just as you would wonder how a friend was doing if you hadn't heard from them in a while.
i mean, is it generally the expectation that once things are done, you shouldn't care whether they drop off the face of the earth, even if things ended on civil terms?
just because things don't work out doesn't mean you're not allowed to appreciate them as a person, does it?
and is it always a bad idea to contact them after a good amount of time has passed, if only to say, "hey, what's up, still alive?" 😛 i guess my question is, is it possible to be friendly acquaintances with an ex? or is it always better to just cut them off completely and allow them to forget you ever existed while you do the same?
I do appreciate my exes a lot. I learned from each of them something different and I will always be grateful for that. With years, I learned better and better to end the relationships in a mature way, which lets both sides to keep the pride despite one of the sides always being more hurt then the other. Even if the hurting side is me, I avoid the drama and try to move on. Not easy, but I keep trying. However, from emotional point of view, I am not able to be a close friend of my ex after our roads split. It just requires too much emotional involvement and I don't believe in superficial friendships. When I'm done (I mean really done) with a romantic relationship, I'm emotionally burned out with this particular person. Nothing is left. It always takes a while, but when I get there, no return. Don't get me wrong, I wish them all the best and I say casual hello etc. But I don't search information about them and don't initiate contact. It's just extremely superficial relationship with no slightest possibility to return to emotional depth we shared at some point.
Posted by wheelhomies
is it wrong to wonder how they're doing? not in a nosy or ha! i'm doing better than you are way, just as you would wonder how a friend was doing if you hadn't heard from them in a while.
i mean, is it generally the expectation that once things are done, you shouldn't care whether they drop off the face of the earth, even if things ended on civil terms?
just because things don't work out doesn't mean you're not allowed to appreciate them as a person, does it?
and is it always a bad idea to contact them after a good amount of time has passed, if only to say, "hey, what's up, still alive?" 😛 i guess my question is, is it possible to be friendly acquaintances with an ex? or is it always better to just cut them off completely and allow them to forget you ever existed while you do the same?
I don't find anything wrong with this. As a matter of fact, there are a few exes of mine that I often wonder how they are doing.
Depends on how much time has lapsed and how the relationship went down. There is only one ex that I wish to not have any contact with or even care much of how he is doing and that is because he is a total mental abusive a@@hole. As for all my other exes I don't wish to get back together with any of them ....it ended for a good reason. I often am interested to know what has happened in their lives but I don't make it a priority to find out. If someone mentions them or I happen to run into them ....well than it is all good.
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i mean, is it generally the expectation that once things are done, you shouldn't care whether they drop off the face of the earth, even if things ended on civil terms?
just because things don't work out doesn't mean you're not allowed to appreciate them as a person, does it?
and is it always a bad idea to contact them after a good amount of time has passed, if only to say, "hey, what's up, still alive?" 😛 i guess my question is, is it possible to be friendly acquaintances with an ex? or is it always better to just cut them off completely and allow them to forget you ever existed while you do the same?