
truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685




Posted by Lex
I think it has to do with the already trained and groomed aspect. People already in relationships tend to exhibit a personal confidence that isn't based on superficial bravado. In short they tend to on average like themselves on a personal level that is incredibly sincere. Like a beautifully honest smile or genuine laugh it is irresistible, especially to those who lack it or don't understand that this is why they desire already taken people in the first place.
It could be simply put as a stock thing, if at least someone is with you, you must have desirable traits. Its really simple animal behavior. When looked at logically thought you can see the evolutionary reasoning for this as well as the actual flaws in pursuing someone already committed.
Posted by truecap
I think there's something mentally wrong with women like that.
Now, it's different if she didn't know he was married/had a girlfriend. I'm talking about the ones that know and still go after them.

Posted by djbuck1
Some people, male and female, are predators. Merciless, selfish predators. They have no conscience (as their many posts on here clearly reflect), and their sole "value" if it can be called such, is the maximization of their own pleasure. In the words of Chaucer, they are "The smiler, with the curved knife." (for cutting throats)
Their sheer lack of empathy is breathtaking. As they work to steal another's mate, they cold-bloodedly justify it by maintaining that there are no moral absolutes, that ethics-- if they exist at all-- are entirely relative to "the situation," and "If s/he can't hold onto him/her, then that's their look out! All's fair! 😄 "
These predators crash through other peoples' lives like the proverbial runaway trains, leaving heartache and destruction in their wake, leaving their battle-cry "Hey! that's YOUR problem!" in their wake.
But this is a choice these predators make. Never, ever think that they are somehow blameless because "It's who they are."
No ethical norms? No "right or wrong?'
Well my friends, if you really think that they don't know right from wrong, wrong THEM. And then watch what happens!

Posted by virgosagscorpioPosted by truecap
I think there's something mentally wrong with women like that.
Now, it's different if she didn't know he was married/had a girlfriend. I'm talking about the ones that know and still go after them.
Yeah, I went through this phase wherein a man was already taken. I was told he was free and I'm so stupid to believe him until the girlfriend contacted me.
I immediately cut the relationship cos I don't want to be a third wheel.
I'm not emotionally retarded to stay in that relationship.click to expand

Posted by guiwaterdaymaster
I like lex... Statement
I will say personally I think it has to do with the fact that other woman wanted them and they often think of that as a way to evaluated quality...
Like women that often dress for other women... They want the. To almost be jealous... Or they do... Same with men... Well then some women get jealous and say why can't I find a man like that... And instead of trying to find a man like that or asking him he he has any quality friends they go after him... Trying to seduce him... I have had 2 women show up at my door in nothing but a coat and beautiful lace... Turns out they both new I was friend with each and they both wanted more... As it turns out neither too me about their feelings and only decided to do this because they got competitive with each other...
Result I thought it was very immature and ended up with neither of them...
If you like a guy or are interested in him let him know... Give him obvious signs as guys can often be oblivious... Don't do the above it turns into a bad thing unless you are in a relationship...
PM


Posted by truecap
I see it on the boards here a lot. Women interested in men who already have girlfriends or married men. Why go after a man that's already involved with someone else?
Is it the challenge? The fact that he must be a good man because someone else wants/has him? Do they not care? Do they have no moral standards? Do they like being homewreckers? Do they have little faith in the single, unattached men?
What is the attraction?



Posted by feby16aqua
The betrayal aspect of it gets me every time. I understand about having a good time, trust me I'm ALL for that...but how do you think she would feel if she found out?

Posted by feby16aquaPosted by wateryram80
I think this is the slimiest type of chase. I love to chase AVAILABLE men. Going after a man that is taken really says a lot about the chaser. Low self-esteem and self-worth. I will be no one's second choice or sloppy sex option. Yuck. I want to be IT or not in your life at all.
Hey, it has a LOT to do with the man imo. Either he's a coward or incredibly selfish.click to expand

Posted by feby16aqua
It's happened to me. I've been on both sides.
When I've caught glimpse of the "other woman" GEEZUS lol. Um. wtf dude.
I've heard though that it's not about the woman, it's about the pussy and numbers.

Sister wives or open relationships are the way to go in situations sometimes I believe. Then at least everything is out in the open and all cards are on the table.

Posted by feby16aquaPosted by DMVPosted by feby16aqua
The betrayal aspect of it gets me every time. I understand about having a good time, trust me I'm ALL for that...but how do you think she would feel if she found out?
like ive said b4, i think i actually HELP their relationship.
You know, I can see your point as well.
I am not judging you DMV. I'll say that I am in no position to judge. I feel passionately about one side more than the other, but I do see both sides.
Sister wives or open relationships are the way to go in situations sometimes I believe. Then at least everything is out in the open and all cards are on the table.click to expand



Posted by wateryram80Sister wives or open relationships are the way to go in situations sometimes I believe. Then at least everything is out in the open and all cards are on the table.
Now if it's a situation where it's out in the open and everyone is happy, then I see no problem. If one person is in the dark and will ultimately feel betrayed, it's not cool and not helping (sorry DMV, just stating my opinion). If I were the girl, I'd want to know so I could get rid of the guy.click to expand




Posted by wateryram80
@DMV
I don't think that people should give up on marriages because of cheating but if I'm not married and I still have the option to bounce, I would. I do agree that people make mistakes but if it becomes a pattern, that's a problem.
What's up with women not giving fellatio btw? Are there any women that don't and have major reasons for not doing it?

Posted by DMV
well listen to this, she didnt end the marriage because of cheating. she ended it because when she wanted to talk about something, he still needed time to think about it. so they had trouble communicating.
"I divorced him because he doesnt talk to me when i want him to not because he was sleeping with other women on the side"

Posted by CluelessCancerPosted by DMV
with the guy ive been screwing for 3+ years. When i first met him, he told me from jump that he was involved. he wasnt looking for another gf, he was just looking for a good time. i was also looking for a good time.
so we've been having a good time for a long time. i dont call his cell "looking" for him. i dont flip when he is busy. and vice versa. this may sound weird but he is the best relationship/nonrelationship ive ever had. he isnt only my lover, but he is a great friend.
the reason why he decided to look elsewhere is always attraction #1 and his girl doesnt give fellatio. so like you always hear, if he wasnt getting it at home, he went out looking for it.
he doesnt discuss his relationship with me but i do run things by him. we talk about other things and see each other 4-5 days a week.
4-5 days a week is a relationship.
click to expand

Posted by truecapPosted by CluelessCancerPosted by DMV
with the guy ive been screwing for 3+ years. When i first met him, he told me from jump that he was involved. he wasnt looking for another gf, he was just looking for a good time. i was also looking for a good time.
so we've been having a good time for a long time. i dont call his cell "looking" for him. i dont flip when he is busy. and vice versa. this may sound weird but he is the best relationship/nonrelationship ive ever had. he isnt only my lover, but he is a great friend.
the reason why he decided to look elsewhere is always attraction #1 and his girl doesnt give fellatio. so like you always hear, if he wasnt getting it at home, he went out looking for it.
he doesnt discuss his relationship with me but i do run things by him. we talk about other things and see each other 4-5 days a week.
4-5 days a week is a relationship.
Sounds like he's in the relationship with you and not her. He spends more time with you or do yall just do quick hookups? Not meaning that in an insulting or nasty way, just curious.
click to expand

Posted by CluelessCancer
Look everyone has a "choice" to cheat if they choose, so someone saying well I've had so many people approach me is BS, a woman walking down the street can get ass that minute, if she so desires.
Men as well...especially in this day and time.
Actually people who don't cheat and are committed to their relationships are a lot more interesting, because cheating is actually very easy to do, but staying faithful is not, that shows idk, a higher level of being.


Posted by Libra911Posted by DMVPosted by feby16aqua
The betrayal aspect of it gets me every time. I understand about having a good time, trust me I'm ALL for that...but how do you think she would feel if she found out?
like ive said b4, i think i actually HELP their relationship.
I respect the fact you are honest about this. I am far from being miss perfect, like everybody else here, but I don't think your last statement is genuine. I don't think you truly believe you are helping the relationship, do you??click to expand

Posted by truecapPosted by CluelessCancer
Look everyone has a "choice" to cheat if they choose, so someone saying well I've had so many people approach me is BS, a woman walking down the street can get ass that minute, if she so desires.
Men as well...especially in this day and time.
Actually people who don't cheat and are committed to their relationships are a lot more interesting, because cheating is actually very easy to do, but staying faithful is not, that shows idk, a higher level of being.
I'm not really that interested in why people cheat. I'm more interested in the women or men that are willing to be with a taken man. I want to understand what's in it for them.
I suppose the taken man will never ask them for a committment - what if it messes up his committment to someone else.
I suppose it's just recreational sex - but why not do that with someone single.
I just don't get it.
Thanks to DMV for being honest and upfront.click to expand

Posted by CluelessCancer
Look everyone has a "choice" to cheat if they choose, so someone saying well I've had so many people approach me is BS, a woman walking down the street can get ass that minute, if she so desires.
Men as well...especially in this day and time.
Actually people who don't cheat and are committed to their relationships are a lot more interesting, because cheating is actually very easy to do, but staying faithful is not, that shows idk, a higher level of being.

Posted by Libra911Posted by DMVPosted by Libra911Posted by DMVPosted by feby16aqua
The betrayal aspect of it gets me every time. I understand about having a good time, trust me I'm ALL for that...but how do you think she would feel if she found out?
like ive said b4, i think i actually HELP their relationship.
I respect the fact you are honest about this. I am far from being miss perfect, like everybody else here, but I don't think your last statement is genuine. I don't think you truly believe you are helping the relationship, do you??
i wouldnt have said it if i didnt believe it to be true.
In what way? I am just curious what made you believe you are helping the relationship?
I would understand if there is a very short passionate affair and the man realizes how much he loves his wife after the passion during that affair is gone, but if this is happening for a while, it is def an emotional connection which imo can cause more damage to his relationshipclick to expand


Posted by truecapPosted by CluelessCancer
Look everyone has a "choice" to cheat if they choose, so someone saying well I've had so many people approach me is BS, a woman walking down the street can get ass that minute, if she so desires.
Men as well...especially in this day and time.
Actually people who don't cheat and are committed to their relationships are a lot more interesting, because cheating is actually very easy to do, but staying faithful is not, that shows idk, a higher level of being.
I'm not really that interested in why people cheat. I'm more interested in the women or men that are willing to be with a taken man. I want to understand what's in it for them.
I suppose the taken man will never ask them for a committment - what if it messes up his committment to someone else.
I suppose it's just recreational sex - but why not do that with someone single.
I just don't get it.
Thanks to DMV for being honest and upfront.click to expand



Posted by BalmyTigressPosted by feby16aquaPosted by BalmyTigress
I would say though that there is a second part to that "test of character" and that is to not throw that choice to the other person's face saying "I could've had sex with someone else, but I didn't". It's a bit like telling someone "I could've stolen your car, but I didn't." It doesn't exactly win you Person of the Year -award :-)
This isn't aimed at feby, by the way. Just something I was thinking.
Why doesn't it get you the person of the year award? I think it should! And you better believe it that when it comes down to it and I've found out YOUVE betrayed me OH FUCK YES I am going to let you know that I had my chances and did not. It's the truth.
I suppose it depends on the people involved in the relationship. If both admit that it's hard to stay monogamous, then I'm sure sticking to it is an accomplishment and something to be proud of.
But I'm scared now. I haven't betrayed you :-) I promise!click to expand

Posted by DMVPosted by Libra911Posted by DMVPosted by Libra911Posted by DMVPosted by feby16aqua
The betrayal aspect of it gets me every time. I understand about having a good time, trust me I'm ALL for that...but how do you think she would feel if she found out?
like ive said b4, i think i actually HELP their relationship.
I respect the fact you are honest about this. I am far from being miss perfect, like everybody else here, but I don't think your last statement is genuine. I don't think you truly believe you are helping the relationship, do you??
i wouldnt have said it if i didnt believe it to be true.
In what way? I am just curious what made you believe you are helping the relationship?
I would understand if there is a very short passionate affair and the man realizes how much he loves his wife after the passion during that affair is gone, but if this is happening for a while, it is def an emotional connection which imo can cause more damage to his relationship
well,i send him back home floating on cloud 9. till he needs another fix. he goes home more relaxed and satisfied. now, instead of focusing on the fact that she doesnt give fellatio and how much of a bummer it is, he can focus on other more important things in their relationship.
i have met members of his family which is totally his bad.click to expand

Posted by truecapPosted by CluelessCancerPosted by DMV
with the guy ive been screwing for 3+ years. When i first met him, he told me from jump that he was involved. he wasnt looking for another gf, he was just looking for a good time. i was also looking for a good time.
so we've been having a good time for a long time. i dont call his cell "looking" for him. i dont flip when he is busy. and vice versa. this may sound weird but he is the best relationship/nonrelationship ive ever had. he isnt only my lover, but he is a great friend.
the reason why he decided to look elsewhere is always attraction #1 and his girl doesnt give fellatio. so like you always hear, if he wasnt getting it at home, he went out looking for it.
he doesnt discuss his relationship with me but i do run things by him. we talk about other things and see each other 4-5 days a week.
4-5 days a week is a relationship.
Sounds like he's in the relationship with you and not her. He spends more time with you or do yall just do quick hookups? Not meaning that in an insulting or nasty way, just curious.
That is a very good point TrueCap. Thank you.
click to expand


Posted by cunninglinguistPosted by DMVPosted by feby16aqua
The betrayal aspect of it gets me every time. I understand about having a good time, trust me I'm ALL for that...but how do you think she would feel if she found out?
i dont know which is why i stay in my lane. we both get a benefit from it and then go our separate ways.
like ive said b4, i think i actually HELP their relationship.
Not by putting her at risk for STDs. Condoms don't protect from everything or anything all of the time.click to expand


Posted by cunninglinguistPosted by DMVPosted by cunninglinguistPosted by DMVPosted by feby16aqua
The betrayal aspect of it gets me every time. I understand about having a good time, trust me I'm ALL for that...but how do you think she would feel if she found out?
i dont know which is why i stay in my lane. we both get a benefit from it and then go our separate ways.
like ive said b4, i think i actually HELP their relationship.
Not by putting her at risk for STDs. Condoms don't protect from everything or anything all of the time.
yawn
haha nice. so you probably are a walking collection of diseases.click to expand


Posted by xygeneration
DMV, do you really believe that the guy doesn't get some goodies at home?

Posted by cunninglinguistPosted by DMVPosted by cunninglinguistPosted by DMVPosted by cunninglinguistPosted by DMVPosted by feby16aqua
The betrayal aspect of it gets me every time. I understand about having a good time, trust me I'm ALL for that...but how do you think she would feel if she found out?
i dont know which is why i stay in my lane. we both get a benefit from it and then go our separate ways.
like ive said b4, i think i actually HELP their relationship.
Not by putting her at risk for STDs. Condoms don't protect from everything or anything all of the time.
yawn
haha nice. so you probably are a walking collection of diseases.
double yawn
If you keep your mouth open long enough, maybe you can catch another cock.click to expand

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Wow chill, she hasn't shagged your beau, easy now!

Posted by cunninglinguistPosted by everevolvingepithet
Wow chill, she hasn't shagged your beau, easy now!
I know, but it's the idea of the wife having her health put at risk that just doesn't seem right. I know someone who contracted HIV from their boyfriend cheating. Not right.click to expand

Posted by xygenerationPosted by DMVPosted by xygeneration
DMV, do you really believe that the guy doesn't get some goodies at home?
absolutely i believe that he doesnt get fellatio at home. that's his reason for dipping out and not my reason for sleeping with him.
So you believe this guy, who is in a relationship but lies to his gf is telling you the truth? What makes you believe him?click to expand
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Is it the challenge? The fact that he must be a good man because someone else wants/has him? Do they not care? Do they have no moral standards? Do they like being homewreckers? Do they have little faith in the single, unattached men?
What is the attraction?