
Well based off this board the "traditional" way doesn't seem much better either. But then again it's hard to gauge since it's not something that is common. At least, not in my experience.


Posted by Arielle83Statistics??
I think relationships are just about chance and percentages.



Posted by xtinaPosted by Crapmaster555She has three 🙂
The only think I thought was "Wow, her cat looks just like mine".
Which one 😄click to expand

Posted by tizianiI agree. But seeing as it's not a common occurrence among women I thought I'd bring it up in an encouraging manner. Get the idea circulating at least 🙂
When two people are mutually attracted to one another, it really doesn't matter who makes the first move. The only issue arises at the very beginning when someone mistakes idle interest for genuine attraction and rushes in... which I've seen happen to both men and women alike.

Posted by Pandora101I agree. But obviously whether traditional or not people are still going to get their hearts broken or get used. There's no way to really stop that. But I don't believe we should shelter and coddle women like children.
The point is, if you ask a guy out, do it confidently
You should only ask out somebody, if you can maintain the confidence level after the guy accepted and you go on a date....
if you think, the main thing is to ask out somebody, and after that it will be the traditional roles, then dont do it...... See, if you ask out a guy, he thinks you are confident and can lead and he will expect this from you....... so if he sees, that you had a courage to ask him out, but your behaviour after that is not confident and couragoues, then he will not respect you, because your behaviour is not consistent..... that is a situation which ends with confusion or fwb
I dont think you should go only with somebody, who is truly interested....... they dont know you, so even if they are just semi-interested in you at first, your character, interesting ideas, your personality may win them over...... again, confidence......
the bad thing is, that there is a double standard unfortunately: if a man chases you and does everything to win you - he is a romantic...... if a girl does the same - she is labelled as desperate lunatic
man brag about how many girls they had sex with (which is easy) girls brag about how many man has fallen for them and doing romantic things for her (which is hard and longer term)........ but hey, this mindset will not disapper in a few years, it was a norm for centuries, just a last 50 or so years it is changing....... slowly, but surely🙂 so girls, dont give up, and pave the way for future generations of girls 🙂

Posted by xtinawhy not? because of expectations, you ask him out and if he accepts, then you go back to "girl" mindset and want the man to pursue..... which is fine, if you dont get to a "meekly waiting what he would do", which is the core of the problems presented here by various posters........ so, ask him out, if you can handle NOT THE REFUSAL, BUT THE ACCEPTANCE 🙂 that is a hard thing🙂 but if there is a mutual attraction, it will flow, so no headache from this.......... asking him out is easy, but handle the aftermatch is when the headache may come in...... so the main thing is, not that you ask him out, but if you can handle his acceptance and act on it and dont loose yourself afterwardsPosted by Pandora101I agree. But obviously whether traditional or not people are still going to get their hearts broken or get used. There's no way to really stop that. But I don't believe we should shelter and coddle women like children.
The point is, if you ask a guy out, do it confidently
You should only ask out somebody, if you can maintain the confidence level after the guy accepted and you go on a date....
if you think, the main thing is to ask out somebody, and after that it will be the traditional roles, then dont do it...... See, if you ask out a guy, he thinks you are confident and can lead and he will expect this from you....... so if he sees, that you had a courage to ask him out, but your behaviour after that is not confident and couragoues, then he will not respect you, because your behaviour is not consistent..... that is a situation which ends with confusion or fwb
I dont think you should go only with somebody, who is truly interested....... they dont know you, so even if they are just semi-interested in you at first, your character, interesting ideas, your personality may win them over...... again, confidence......
the bad thing is, that there is a double standard unfortunately: if a man chases you and does everything to win you - he is a romantic...... if a girl does the same - she is labelled as desperate lunatic
man brag about how many girls they had sex with (which is easy) girls brag about how many man has fallen for them and doing romantic things for her (which is hard and longer term)........ but hey, this mindset will not disapper in a few years, it was a norm for centuries, just a last 50 or so years it is changing....... slowly, but surely🙂 so girls, dont give up, and pave the way for future generations of girls 🙂
If they want to ask, why not?click to expand

Posted by Pandora101Definitely a good message to put out and spread but just as much in terms of expectaPosted by xtinawhy not? because of expectations, you ask him out and if he accepts, then you go back to "girl" mindset and want the man to pursue..... which is fine, if you dont get to a "meekly waiting what he would do", which is the core of the problems presented here by various posters........ so, ask him out, if you can handle NOT THE REFUSAL, BUT THE ACCEPTANCE 🙂 that is a hard thing🙂 but if there is a mutual attraction, it will flow, so no headache from this.......... asking him out is easy, but handle the aftermatch is when the headache may come in...... so the main thing is, not that you ask him out, but if you can handle his acceptance and act on it and dont loose yourself afterwardsPosted by Pandora101I agree. But obviously whether traditional or not people are still going to get their hearts broken or get used. There's no way to really stop that. But I don't believe we should shelter and coddle women like children.
The point is, if you ask a guy out, do it confidently
You should only ask out somebody, if you can maintain the confidence level after the guy accepted and you go on a date....
if you think, the main thing is to ask out somebody, and after that it will be the traditional roles, then dont do it...... See, if you ask out a guy, he thinks you are confident and can lead and he will expect this from you....... so if he sees, that you had a courage to ask him out, but your behaviour after that is not confident and couragoues, then he will not respect you, because your behaviour is not consistent..... that is a situation which ends with confusion or fwb
I dont think you should go only with somebody, who is truly interested....... they dont know you, so even if they are just semi-interested in you at first, your character, interesting ideas, your personality may win them over...... again, confidence......
the bad thing is, that there is a double standard unfortunately: if a man chases you and does everything to win you - he is a romantic...... if a girl does the same - she is labelled as desperate lunatic
man brag about how many girls they had sex with (which is easy) girls brag about how many man has fallen for them and doing romantic things for her (which is hard and longer term)........ but hey, this mindset will not disapper in a few years, it was a norm for centuries, just a last 50 or so years it is changing....... slowly, but surely🙂 so girls, dont give up, and pave the way for future generations of girls 🙂
If they want to ask, why not?click to expand



Posted by Pandora101I love how you further elaborate and she agrees wholeheartedly, but she gets cunty with me about it.
why not? because of expectations, you ask him out and if he accepts, then you go back to "girl" mindset and want the man to pursue..... which is fine, if you dont get to a "meekly waiting what he would do", which is the core of the problems presented here by various posters........ so, ask him out, if you can handle NOT THE REFUSAL, BUT THE ACCEPTANCE 🙂 that is a hard thing🙂 but if there is a mutual attraction, it will flow, so no headache from this.......... asking him out is easy, but handle the aftermatch is when the headache may come in...... so the main thing is, not that you ask him out, but if you can handle his acceptance and act on it and dont loose yourself afterwards

Posted by Pandora101Maybe the bullet points will help her better understand...
Xtina said: " But saying women "shouldn't" ask guys out for fear of rejection doesn't change or help current situations in anyway."
I know, what you mean, I am just saying, that asking out a guy is easy, fear of rejection is nothing in comparison with if the guy accepts (for sex or for why not, etc)...... and to behave accordingly afterwards......
So my take:
1. ask the guy out, if you really like him and you are sure you will not fall on meekly waiting afterwards
2. dont ask him out, if you know you are going to question his moves/not moves (if you have a personality, like this)
3. if you like him, and he doesnt seem interested enough, ask him out and gradually win him over with your personality
4. if its mutual, ask him out, and you will see, but dont get afterwards to "girly mode"
in my opinion again (just my opinion, but supported by observations), asking out somebody is not about refusal but the acceptance....
if the girl would think: I asked him out, mission accomplished, he said yes, win! ..... then it may cause a headache and heartache.....

Posted by rockyroadicecreamOoooo... Ouch... BuuurrnnnPosted by Pandora101Maybe the bullet points will help her better understand...
Xtina said: " But saying women "shouldn't" ask guys out for fear of rejection doesn't change or help current situations in anyway."
I know, what you mean, I am just saying, that asking out a guy is easy, fear of rejection is nothing in comparison with if the guy accepts (for sex or for why not, etc)...... and to behave accordingly afterwards......
So my take:
1. ask the guy out, if you really like him and you are sure you will not fall on meekly waiting afterwards
2. dont ask him out, if you know you are going to question his moves/not moves (if you have a personality, like this)
3. if you like him, and he doesnt seem interested enough, ask him out and gradually win him over with your personality
4. if its mutual, ask him out, and you will see, but dont get afterwards to "girly mode"
in my opinion again (just my opinion, but supported by observations), asking out somebody is not about refusal but the acceptance....
if the girl would think: I asked him out, mission accomplished, he said yes, win! ..... then it may cause a headache and heartache.....
click to expand

Posted by Pandora101Like I said. Nice idea but you'll be the ones fighting the up hill battle of you think you can change the way people are or tell them how they should do things.
Xtina said: " But saying women "shouldn't" ask guys out for fear of rejection doesn't change or help current situations in anyway."
I know, what you mean, I am just saying, that asking out a guy is easy, fear of rejection is nothing in comparison with if the guy accepts (for sex or for why not, etc)...... and to behave accordingly afterwards......
So my take:
1. ask the guy out, if you really like him and you are sure you will not fall on meekly waiting afterwards
2. dont ask him out, if you know you are going to question his moves/not moves (if you have a personality, like this)
3. if you like him, and he doesnt seem interested enough, ask him out and gradually win him over with your personality
4. if its mutual, ask him out, and you will see, but dont get afterwards to "girly mode"
in my opinion again (just my opinion, but supported by observations), asking out somebody is not about refusal but the acceptance....
if the girl would think: I asked him out, mission accomplished, he said yes, win! ..... then it may cause a headache and heartache.....

Posted by rockyroadicecreamOk since you begged and asked so nicely 🙂Posted by Pandora101I love how you further elaborate and she agrees wholeheartedly, but she gets cunty with me about it.
why not? because of expectations, you ask him out and if he accepts, then you go back to "girl" mindset and want the man to pursue..... which is fine, if you dont get to a "meekly waiting what he would do", which is the core of the problems presented here by various posters........ so, ask him out, if you can handle NOT THE REFUSAL, BUT THE ACCEPTANCE 🙂 that is a hard thing🙂 but if there is a mutual attraction, it will flow, so no headache from this.......... asking him out is easy, but handle the aftermatch is when the headache may come in...... so the main thing is, not that you ask him out, but if you can handle his acceptance and act on it and dont loose yourself afterwards
Butthurt city up in heeere. Talk about missing the point. *cough*
This is what the issue was with the video. The chick in that video has her head so far up her ass, she doesn't get it. Like I said, the point she makes is fine, nothing wrong with the concept generally, but it really does depend on the individual and the situation. We have so many emotionally retarded people out there that I really would not recommend some bothering asking the guy out. They can do it, but it's just gonna be a trainwreck.
Yeah, it's sad when women are scared to ask first because of societal norms. They shouldn't feel that way. But at the same time, I can think some individuals who really should just... not. Mostly for their sake. It's not about sheltering or learning, these people are just serial fuck ups in dating and should just stick to "traditional" because they never learn or their tendencies just never change. THEY were sheltered because they just cannot grasp how reality works in dating, much like seems to be the case with the OP in her immature reaction.
I think the sooner we get away from all the ridiculous myths in dating that are beaten into women's heads, the higher probability we'll have for women asking first and not being preyed upon because of that. Same applies to how some react in these situations, much like you've mentioned. Women's behavior when dating is also something perpetuated by a lot of myths- aka the "romantic comedy" out look on dating.click to expand

Posted by busyeyes88Well I don't mean it as an absolute but as an option or alternative avenue. I don't mean it as in a dogmatic sense but something to consider when starting a relationship.
No!!! I do not agree....
It's a man's role as far as I am concerned... But each to their own!!!

Posted by xtinaAnd I'll admit I was being kPosted by rockyroadicecreamOk since you begged and asked so nicely 🙂Posted by Pandora101I love how you further elaborate and she agrees wholeheartedly, but she gets cunty with me about it.
why not? because of expectations, you ask him out and if he accepts, then you go back to "girl" mindset and want the man to pursue..... which is fine, if you dont get to a "meekly waiting what he would do", which is the core of the problems presented here by various posters........ so, ask him out, if you can handle NOT THE REFUSAL, BUT THE ACCEPTANCE 🙂 that is a hard thing🙂 but if there is a mutual attraction, it will flow, so no headache from this.......... asking him out is easy, but handle the aftermatch is when the headache may come in...... so the main thing is, not that you ask him out, but if you can handle his acceptance and act on it and dont loose yourself afterwards
Butthurt city up in heeere. Talk about missing the point. *cough*
This is what the issue was with the video. The chick in that video has her head so far up her ass, she doesn't get it. Like I said, the point she makes is fine, nothing wrong with the concept generally, but it really does depend on the individual and the situation. We have so many emotionally retarded people out there that I really would not recommend some bothering asking the guy out. They can do it, but it's just gonna be a trainwreck.
Yeah, it's sad when women are scared to ask first because of societal norms. They shouldn't feel that way. But at the same time, I can think some individuals who really should just... not. Mostly for their sake. It's not about sheltering or learning, these people are just serial fuck ups in dating and should just stick to "traditional" because they never learn or their tendencies just never change. THEY were sheltered because they just cannot grasp how reality works in dating, much like seems to be the case with the OP in her immature reaction.
I think the sooner we get away from all the ridiculous myths in dating that are beaten into women's heads, the higher probability we'll have for women asking first and not being preyed upon because of that. Same applies to how some react in these situations, much like you've mentioned. Women's behavior when dating is also something perpetuated by a lot of myths- aka the "romantic comedy" out look on dating.
It's hard to take someone so hateful and bitter seriously.
Just being honest. I personally think you're better than that but I didn't want to tell you what to do. I know you won't listen anyway.
click to expand


Posted by busyeyes88Busy, a passive man is a jack-pot for some women, and its right for them.... as an active woman is a jack-pot for a passive man....... they can be very happy together, she wearing the trausers, he listening to every command.... maybe not healthy, but quite common and they are happy for like a lifetime.... true stories in my family and surroundings..... sometimes I envy them, you know? 🙂Posted by xtinaThere's lots of women who come to these forums complaining about their situation re men that they have been "chasing" and that has not been working...Posted by busyeyes88Well I don't mean it as an absolute but as an option or alternative avenue. I don't mean it as in a dogmatic sense but something to consider when starting a relationship.
No!!! I do not agree....
It's a man's role as far as I am concerned... But each to their own!!!
If a woman starts in this way, imo, then she will have to be pursuing him constantly... Don't expect him to suddenly switch into 'hunt" mode when the woman decides to turn into a "female" again...
This has always been a man's role and only very passive men will let a woman chase them... A passive man imo, is bad news all round...click to expand


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