how to get sadge to ease off a bit...?

hi everyone, thanks for clicking. 🙂

i was wondering if i could get some advice regarding a sadge male i've been tight with for about eight-nine years now...

he's one of the most easy-going, laid back people i know and i honestly have nothing to complain about except that he sometimes gets kinda irritated (?) when i don't take his advice on something i'm trying to do by myself (for example, my business projects, the way i exercise in the gym lol, what i wear, what i eat lol, what i buy etc)

to elaborate a bit on the "what i buy" part, he once didn't like the watch i was wearing so he just went and bought one (a pretty expensive one) and gave it to me to wear. he said my old watch looked crusty lol but i liked it 'cause it had sentimental value to me.

so these are just some examples...

i know he means well and i take his advice like eight out of ten times but, for the remainder times, i just wanna do things my own way 'cause i have preferences sometimes...? :/

i know sags are smart and they enjoy teaching people things and i don't want to offend him in any kinda way but i just need him to ease off a bit...?

so i guess my question is,

1. how do you get a sadge to ease off on you ?

2. how do i do all of this without irritating the sadge?

he has scorpio moon.

thanks in advance...!

The LEAST you can do is let him know that you will take his advice into account but they are your choices to make and to respect them.

Be upfront there is no easy way here but to be honest.

Uh oh.. @DMV

Just be blunt and tell him, he clearly doesn't know how you feel about what he's doing. Tell him exactly that, you have your own ideas and like trying it your way.

Him buying you gifts is nice but tell him you don't need them.

Most nice gestures or helpful things we "think" we are doing will stop almost immediately if we are told the other person doesn't like it. It's wasted effort on our part.

Awwwwww he likes you ❤️❤️❤️

I’ve experienced this with a Sag Sun, Cancer moon and other Sag Sun males.

To give advice is to love for them. Shows they care. They get hard ones if you ask them their opinion.

The trick is to never tell them your business.

Only strategically share.

i really appreciate your replies, everyone 🙂

@blvck

you're right, i probably gotta prove to him that i got everything under control lol

i always thought i'm pretty self-sufficient but maybe in his eyes, i'm doing things in an awkward way, i dunno...:/

@WarAngel

i got nine years worth of crazy stories...lol where do you want me to start....lol jk he's cool haha

@Weeds

you're right, i've avoided a confrontation for too long. i'll still let him know i'll take his opinions into consideration but that i gotta ultimately do my own thing. thx

@Cocosugar

? lol why uh oh ?

@Bumboklaat

yeah i feel like he's gonna be irritated no matter what :/

gotta be honest with him tho 😢 thx

@saggurl88

you're right, i don't think he knows how i feel about him intervening in my decisions 'cause i've been kinda beating around the bush, trying to keep things from getting heated.

i told him i'm happy with what i have. like, if i have the basic necessities in life, i'm good. haha

sags are generous and i think that's an admirable trait but his money is better spent elsewhere

@DMV

sorry i missed your reply just now! i think we were typing our replies at the same time up there! lol

i wanna tell you more things, hold on, it's gonna take me a awhile lol just wanted to say thanks first.

Posted by serenidad

i really appreciate your replies, everyone 🙂

@blvck

you're right, i probably gotta prove to him that i got everything under control lol

i always thought i'm pretty self-sufficient but maybe in his eyes, i'm doing things in an awkward way, i dunno...:/

@WarAngel

i got nine years worth of crazy stories...lol where do you want me to start....lol jk he's cool haha

@Weeds

you're right, i've avoided a confrontation for too long. i'll still let him know i'll take his opinions into consideration but that i gotta ultimately do my own thing. thx

@Cocosugar

? lol why uh oh ?

@Bumboklaat

yeah i feel like he's gonna be irritated no matter what :/

gotta be honest with him tho 😢 thx

@saggurl88

you're right, i don't think he knows how i feel about him intervening in my decisions 'cause i've been kinda beating around the bush, trying to keep things from getting heated.

i told him i'm happy with what i have. like, if i have the basic necessities in life, i'm good. haha

sags are generous and i think that's an admirable trait but his money is better spent elsewhere

Just say something then. I don't think you telling him to save his money, cause he's wasting it on you will be an issue. lol

Who would argue about that? And he's not your boyfriend.

But if he doesn't know something is bothering you, he can't fix it. Especially if it's his behavior.

@DMV

i'm back, sorry about that.

i really appreciate his thoughtfulness and interest in what i'm doing (in my business, in my daily life, my family etc) like, i can't put it into words. we're the same age but i respect him a lot 'cause he's just so well-rounded.

you said i shoudn't tell him my business...lol that might be kinda hard 'cause i live with him...lol he pretty much sees everything i do on a day to day basis...lol

we both work online so if we have our laptops, we're basically ok and we've been traveling from place to place (he also has a shop back home but his cousins are running that right now...) so it's not a regular living situation...? i guess

i've never thought about strategic sharing!!

being an aries, i'm bad at hiding things lol i probably tell him everything before he even asks...lol

he's more strategic with everything, i think. 🙂

@saggurl88

thx i will tell him that again lol i always say, "we don't need anything more than the bare necessities. we can't take material possessions with us to the grave. " lol

i think he kinda gets it but kinda doesn't lol

Posted by serenidad

@saggurl88

thx i will tell him that again lol i always say, "we don't need anything more than the bare necessities. we can't take material possessions with us to the grave. " lol

i think he kinda gets it but kinda doesn't lol

That's pretty vague. I think being more direct and just asking him to stop would be more beneficial.

If I say "It looks like rain", cause the sky is gloomy- that doesn't mean someone would get that I don't like rain.

You get what I'm saying? It's too vague and he's just being nice.

Is he your boyfriend or just a roommate?

@saggurl88

sorry for the confusion, he's a boyfriend.

sorry i wasn't clear about that part.

Posted by serenidad

@saggurl88

sorry for the confusion, he's a boyfriend.

sorry i wasn't clear about that part.

What's your mercury? I'm curious.

And just find your voice and let him know what's up.

I'm NOT a Scorpio Moon, so I don't know exactly what that's like on a Sag- But as a Sag, I'd rather be told that someone doesn't like something, then to not know and continue to do things that I think are ok, when they are not.

Hopefully DMV can shed some more light on your situation.

Posted by serenidad

@DMV

i'm back, sorry about that.

i really appreciate his thoughtfulness and interest in what i'm doing (in my business, in my daily life, my family etc) like, i can't put it into words. we're the same age but i respect him a lot 'cause he's just so well-rounded.

you said i shoudn't tell him my business...lol that might be kinda hard 'cause i live with him...lol he pretty much sees everything i do on a day to day basis...lol

we both work online so if we have our laptops, we're basically ok and we've been traveling from place to place (he also has a shop back home but his cousins are running that right now...) so it's not a regular living situation...? i guess

i've never thought about strategic sharing!!

being an aries, i'm bad at hiding things lol i probably tell him everything before he even asks...lol

he's more strategic with everything, i think. 🙂

Ah you live together.

Ok, one day over food or sex, tell him how much you love his help with certain things. Like pump him up in those areas and then, tell him to stick to that advice. The other advice crashed and burned and his services won’t be needed there but pump up those other places.

Like he is King on plants and lawn care but sucks at cooking.

Scorpio moon appreciates a niche. Somewhere they can shine.

Strategically direct the energy

Posted by DMV

Posted by serenidad

@DMV

i'm back, sorry about that.

i really appreciate his thoughtfulness and interest in what i'm doing (in my business, in my daily life, my family etc) like, i can't put it into words. we're the same age but i respect him a lot 'cause he's just so well-rounded.

you said i shoudn't tell him my business...lol that might be kinda hard 'cause i live with him...lol he pretty much sees everything i do on a day to day basis...lol

we both work online so if we have our laptops, we're basically ok and we've been traveling from place to place (he also has a shop back home but his cousins are running that right now...) so it's not a regular living situation...? i guess

i've never thought about strategic sharing!!

being an aries, i'm bad at hiding things lol i probably tell him everything before he even asks...lol

he's more strategic with everything, i think. 🙂

Ah you live together.

Ok, one day over food or sex, tell him how much you love his help with certain things. Like pump him up in those areas and then, tell him to stick to that advice. The other advice crashed and burned and his services won’t be needed there but pump up those other places.

Like he is King on plants and lawn care but sucks at cooking.

click to expand

"Ok, one day over food or sex,"



This would cure most world problems if all issues were handled after food or sex!

@saggurl88

@DMV

my mercury is in aries, his mercury is sag. communication is pretty smooth for the most part...lol

we can talk for hours about anything under the sun and then go a few hours not saying a word but still be in the same room doing our own thing lol it's a relaxed sorta vibe haha

i finally talked to him an hour ago. lol he had three glasses of cuba libre so i dunno how much of the talk actually sunk in but he was listening and was responsive....the thing about scorpio moons....they always look calm on the surface but it's hard to tell what they're really thinking....but he was like "ok".

i'm gonna start heading to the gym by myself and try to steer my business deal in the direction i wanted to. i feel like my plan would work better in this particular instance.

i didn't know about scorpio moon and niches!

he has more than a couple of niches. he's always been about his business and his money tho.

set up his own shop five years ago at 25. really determined. kinda like a pitbull locking its jaw on a prey. if he wants something, he wants it. there's no talking him out of anything lol i think he's hungry for power sometimes but that's just how he moves and i respect his mind and hustle...

is this scorpio moon thing? or a sag thing? no one can really talk you guys out of anything lol

Yes , mutables don’t like being controlled especially by cardinal and fixed signs.

It’s best to let us touch the stove to see that it’s hot

We know the way to the urgent care

thanks. lol i gotta be careful for the next few weeks 'cause his "ok" doesn't always mean "ok".

it just means "ok for the time being until he changes his mind" or "ok but with conditions" lol (after nine years, i caught on lol)

i never met a sag/scorp besides him so i'm really happy haha

DMV, can i ask you two questions about your emotional nature...? (these will be my last questions lol i won't bother you after this lol)

1. does the possibility of getting hurt make scorpio moon shut down emotionally...? like, when you sense that someone or a situation might hurt you, do you go numb emotionally?

i know scorpio and possibly capricorn placements too have this gloomy, realistic view of life in general, and you guys aren't like overly optimistic all the time about things...so you probably sort of expect pain as part of life...

he doesn't make a big deal out of painful events that happen to him, he just goes cold and numb and deals with it internally and kinda quietly...

do you do this too...? the whole "go numb before you get hurt" thing?

2. do you feel like you have to test people constantly to see if they'll stick around?

when do you decide "ok, they're not going anywhere." ?

like, what finally makes you decide, "ok, i'm safe with this person."?

is there an end to the suspicion...?

i feel like in the beginning, he was constantly trying to test my character, our friendship, but he seems satisfied now for the time being (after nine long ass years lol).

i guess he knows i'm not gonna hurt him.



thank you so much in advance! i really appreciate it!

It’s a good lesson for saggis to know that NO ONE has to take their advice.

Some Sagittarius get seriously offended and get on their high horse but truly the two cents ain’t always needed or appreciated.

I used to test people but in my golden years idc anymore. I spent so much time testing and being cold being upset at how people treat me and blocking them out that I finally just block myself out.

Now I pick and choose who comes in rather than let any ol riff raft come in and than test them to see if they wanna stick around.

Tests only appear when their is doubt. Room for confusion. Grey area. I don’t focus on grey areas. People can keep their confusion. I’m good.

Now if I HAVE to be around people and I feel slighted. Because you’re right, an “ok” is never an “ok”. I will start treating you how you treat me. I will detach emotionally and handle accordingly.

thanks for your reply. really interesting stuff.

he tested me for about a year after we met...

i was still married at the time to another person (i was 21. i got married at 19 to a girl i'd been dating since highschool. long story haha) so, he kept trying to get me into situations where some kinda adultery could possibly go down but i didn't take the bait. i waited till after the divorce to do anything with him and he later told me that's why he thought i was solid or something.

he doesn't test me anymore but i see him doing it to other people. pretty much everytime he meets someone new...i asked him if he ever gets exhausted and he didn't know what the hell i was talking about lol

i hope you are with someone you can feel safe with. and if not, i hope in the future, you will. scorp moons are awesome and they should feel understood. 🙂

anyway, thank you so much for your help!

no reply necessary. 🙂

I grew up with 3 Scorpio moons.

I’ve learned to appreciate the time I have with people. I don’t look for anything further.

As saggis age, the number of friends they have decreases.

Your Sagittarius /Scorpio intuition about first meetings just may save you one day

I think most Sag are hard workers and do what they want and strive to get it. It's natural for us. I also have a habit of offering my opinion. It comes out sounding like a fact but it doesn't bother me whether you take the advice or not. It's your life and you have to do what's right for you.

I understand decisions with your business, that the advice isn't needed and you need to do things your way.

But what's going on at the gym? So you guys used to go together as a couple and now you want to go by yourself?

This seems like a bigger change and I would be bothered by it, personally. Instead of telling him to leave you alone and go to a different section, while you work out, you have now excluded him altogether.

This seems like a big change, IMO, if this was something you two did as a couple. But I am a quality time type of person, so maybe that's why I see it like that. I would automatically wonder if you were trying to cheat or up to something else, cause why all the sudden do you need alone time.

The gym is big, why does he have to stop going with you?

@saggurl89

thanks! i understand sags mean well when they offer their opinions to people they care about. i guess i just believed that if they offered it, i gotta take it and follow through with it or they would feel some type of way about it....i dunno, maybe it was in my head...

sorry about the confusion regarding the gym thing. let me explain lol

i want to go in the morning and he only wants to go at night (there's a gym inside the building we live in. we're on the 14th floor and the gym is on the 2nd floor, there's also a pool there). so i've been adjusting my workout schedule to his and going at night, but the thing is, my body just feels more alert and ready to go in the morning, rather than night.

and then when we get to the gym, i have a workout plan that i wanna do , but he suggests i do something else, saying it's more effective....lol but you know when you see a workout video on youtube or some shit and you wanna try it just to try it...? lol if a lot of people are hyping up a certain workout, i'm the type of guy that wants to try it at least once lol

but i guess the main issue is WHEN we go.

i'm very much a morning person, he's a night guy.

he came with me to the gym in the morning like 2-3 times in the past but i guess he didn't like it lol

i don't know how the hell he can get so pumped up before going to sleep lol i'm looking at him like "........" lol

i wanna spend my nights quietly lol apparently tho, when you raise your body heat at night, you burn more fat and you sleep better. and this is all true. that's why people tend to sleep better after a warm bath. and working out at night can really help you relieve the stress you've accumulated during the day. so i think that's what he likes.

in the morning usually, there's less people in the gym, so it's a lot more peaceful. at least i find it more peaceful...

anyway, i'm sorry i gave you the impression that i was trying to sneak off by myself to do something lol i can assure you, it's not the case at all haha

but you got me thinking now lol i hope he's not thinking the same LOL

one more thing i gotta go sort out now haha i told him the morning/night thing tho.

@DMV

yeah his intuition is always on point! lol almost eerie..i'm more gullible than he is for sure...lol his intuition has definitely kept us out of trouble and complications lol

Posted by serenidad

hi everyone, thanks for clicking. 🙂

i was wondering if i could get some advice regarding a sadge male i've been tight with for about eight-nine years now...

he's one of the most easy-going, laid back people i know and i honestly have nothing to complain about except that he sometimes gets kinda irritated (?) when i don't take his advice on something i'm trying to do by myself (for example, my business projects, the way i exercise in the gym lol, what i wear, what i eat lol, what i buy etc)

to elaborate a bit on the "what i buy" part, he once didn't like the watch i was wearing so he just went and bought one (a pretty expensive one) and gave it to me to wear. he said my old watch looked crusty lol but i liked it 'cause it had sentimental value to me.

so these are just some examples...

i know he means well and i take his advice like eight out of ten times but, for the remainder times, i just wanna do things my own way 'cause i have preferences sometimes...? :/

i know sags are smart and they enjoy teaching people things and i don't want to offend him in any kinda way but i just need him to ease off a bit...?

so i guess my question is,

1. how do you get a sadge to ease off on you ?

2. how do i do all of this without irritating the sadge?

he has scorpio moon.

thanks in advance...!

Are you imposing your opinion on him or e changing information about yourselves?

Ya sags tend to just act on things. Sup of the moment I hear a lot. What not ask about it. I'm sure he would be happy to share.

@Lostthoughts

peaceful exchanging of information, I think lol

Posted by serenidad

@Lostthoughts

peaceful exchanging of information, I think lol

Depends on his temparment lol

People are diverse with their expression. Keep a open mind.

Posted by serenidad

i really appreciate your replies, everyone 🙂

@blvck

you're right, i probably gotta prove to him that i got everything under control lol

i always thought i'm pretty self-sufficient but maybe in his eyes, i'm doing things in an awkward way, i dunno...:/

@WarAngel

i got nine years worth of crazy stories...lol where do you want me to start....lol jk he's cool haha

@Weeds

you're right, i've avoided a confrontation for too long. i'll still let him know i'll take his opinions into consideration but that i gotta ultimately do my own thing. thx

@Cocosugar

? lol why uh oh ?

@Bumboklaat

yeah i feel like he's gonna be irritated no matter what :/

gotta be honest with him tho 😢 thx

@saggurl88

you're right, i don't think he knows how i feel about him intervening in my decisions 'cause i've been kinda beating around the bush, trying to keep things from getting heated.

i told him i'm happy with what i have. like, if i have the basic necessities in life, i'm good. haha

sags are generous and i think that's an admirable trait but his money is better spent elsewhere

She was wondering where the advice threads are lol.

Ask and ye shall have!

minor update : as expected, he changed his mind after two weeks. i don't want to be problematic so i won't say anything further to him.

thanks everyone for your help.

Posted by dontgiveup

If you dont tell him, he will never know the impact its making on you.

Just communicate... Scorp moon is sensitive yes, but they also value truth.

He thinks he is taking care of you and thats his way of showing he cares...

Just a simple talk and things will smooth out, be more open/blunt

sensitive or paranoia i dunno.....he sometimes imagines these scenarios in his head and projects that onto people....it seems to be a scorpio moon thing....my niece does it too (she's a double scorp) i think it's unintentional they're both sweet people but the paranoia thing is definitely there with both of them.

also i think it might be his libra venus that wants to do things "together"....but i'm not sure...niece also has libra venus like him and she hates being left alone for too long...