so I told my Sag i need a break

he's great. really good guy. but I need a breather from a rather intense emotionally relationship. he said: "that's fine, take you're time, i'll still be here when you come back" - I need my priorities straightened up and not put him in the first place, as I have a habit of doing. So what is he really thinking? I think he is just being nice. As he is - Mr. Nice.
but is he? we hardly have any issues, but I get so wrapped up in him that it's too much.

any advice?

I posted about this in the Gem's board, but I thought I should here as well.

Thank you in advance.

YOU'RE DATING MR NICE?!

😛 on another note...I feel like you just went through this a couple months ago? No?

I never understood a persons need to take a break. Sure I get irritated, very busy, tired of people, but I force myself to stick with it.

Idk, just never understood why someone would take a break unless they were planning to break up. Why not just fix stuff with him still in your life? Or is he always up your ass?

I could see where a mr.nice would do that

Posted by happykitsune
I never understood a persons need to take a break. Sure I get irritated, very busy, tired of people, but I force myself to stick with it.

Idk, just never understood why someone would take a break unless they were planning to break up. Why not just fix stuff with him still in your life? Or is he always up your ass?

I could see where a mr.nice would do that

I agree.

he's a good guy. 😢
I'm overwhelmed with stress and very many things that happened recently and he consumes my thoughts, where I should be thinking about other priorities.
I never understood why people need a break at times either. If you are with someone, than you are, regardless... I never did, until now.
I don't like it, but it's the first day where I feel like I can focus on my priorities.

Posted by brianafay
😛 on another note...I feel like you just went through this a couple months ago? No?

yeah... he seemed to good to be true...well, he is good and he is true...

*too

Posted by roamingfree
he's a good guy. 😢
I'm overwhelmed with stress and very many things that happened recently and he consumes my thoughts, where I should be thinking about other priorities.
I never understood why people need a break at times either. If you are with someone, than you are, regardless... I never did, until now.
I don't like it, but it's the first day where I feel like I can focus on my priorities.

Just sucks for him cus he has things that keep him busy in life too and yet he's willing to put you before him. That's when you need to look at the situation and see if you really have enough time to devote to a bf or if you need to cut ties because being in a relationship is something that involves two people and while you are your own person you get into a relationship because you want to spend time with someone else.

Idk, just food for thought. I just know as a sag I wouldn't like to wait around for too long. Something better might come along. And that has happened, even when the guy I was waiting for was the one I thought I'd be married to, someone else better came along.

well, I'm not worried about him looking, he just recently divorced after 16 years. We are only together for barely 5 months and officially for 3. If he is not around when I'm ready, than he was not meant to be. I won't hold my breath. I had a lot of things go berserk on me in the last month and asked him for a few days break, because I need to focus on things like my kids and home, something he understands as a father. idk, I just feel so engulfed by him, when I shouldn't be. He talks of thingss for us in the future, but at the same time, I don't treat it seriously, at 38 I learned long ago, that if a man means something he will back it by substance, until than it's a stupid woman who waits around and holds her breath for castles built with sand. We are good together, but sometimes it just feels so mechanical and so "honey moon is over" like.... blah...

i know. but we talk from morning till night, it's good morning to good night throughout the day, twice a day calls, skype or facetalk almost every day. i think we communicate more than normal couples just because of the nature of the face to face frequencies.

It seems you like guys that treat you like crap like that libra just sayin

gawd.... dont remind me...
I have forsaken the break yesterday, my crappy days are better with him in it. like I said: he's a good guy. I'm just neurotic I think... it was really the first time in my life that I wanted a breather - seriously - a wrong guy to do it with. All is good, no explanations were needed, I didn't want to give any, he didn't want to hear any, must be that Sag/Gem and our Scorp/Cancer combo. He's just right for me...

Posted by Reason

Posted by roamingfree
my crappy days are better with him in it.

You are not alone. People readily share their crap with us. We are definitely flattered. Feel so special. In the last 24 hours Gems scored the highest. Keep the competition on.

click to expand

lol...maybe it's a Gem thing - we'll excel even in this lol

ohhh.... idk.... Scorp Asc with Cancer in Venus and Pisces Mars will make me all that.... kinda annoying with big "A", annoys my Taurus moon quite readily 😉, it's ok though, matches his Gem Asc, Taurus Venus, Scorp Mars and Cancer Moon

Ohhh..the Sag with the Taurus Venus, again.

Who did his chart?

ohh...it's not annoying... it's me being watery that annoys me.... he seems to dig it though.

&

what do you mean "the Sag with Taurus venus"? - waaaaa....what's wrong with him? waaaa....now you got me neurotic 😢

You know something that may help if you ever feel overwhelmed again is not to take a break, but to limit your time with him, or talking to him, to 2 hrs a day.

For me and my scorp we're both busy with school and jobs, but we love time with each other so we allow ourselves at least 2 hrs a day except when I'm out of town or he's too busy. Then he usually comes to surprise me for a little bit before he has to get back to work.

It helps to limit your time, but still see each other everyday. Cus I doubt you're busy at every hr of the day. One hours not gonna kill you 😛

lol. yeah, I know, we only talked for 20 minutes today, texted a couple times only - we are both busy, I'm here running around with my stuff and he is busy doing Army stuff working 12-15 hour days...we barely have the time. We make time. I think the intensity of this is freaking me out maybe... I like my crappy days with him more than without him - learned that pretty fast... didn't need 24 hours.

Posted by roamingfree
ohh...it's not annoying... it's me being watery that annoys me.... he seems to dig it though.

&

what do you mean "the Sag with Taurus venus"? - waaaaa....what's wrong with him? waaaa....now you got me neurotic 😢

Nooo nothing's wrong with him, you're either compatible or you're not. Where his Venus is makes no difference, not really.

Venus can only be 2 signs away from the sun on either side. So a Sag can only have Venus in Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn or Aquarius.

Posted by roamingfree
lol. yeah, I know, we only talked for 20 minutes today, texted a couple times only - we are both busy, I'm here running around with my stuff and he is busy doing Army stuff working 12-15 hour days...we barely have the time. We make time. I think the intensity of this is freaking me out maybe... I like my crappy days with him more than without him - learned that pretty fast... didn't need 24 hours.

Glad you realized this 🙂 I'm sure he was relieved

uuuhmm.... sooooo..... that was ok, untill two days ago we had a skype date, I rushed through the whole day to be ready for the evening. I haven't heard from him all day, than after midnight I just sent him a text saying: "good night, i'm going to bed" he replied: "good night" I asked him to call me, he did in a few minutes, I said to him in the least guilt tripping way that he could have let me know that we will not talk that evening and that all I ask for is a text or call next time, and he yelled into the phone: "I'm not dealing with this shit" and hung up.... yay me...I haven't heard from him since. I know he was online through out the day because the iphone app we use gives time stamps to the last visits.
I think it's safe to say we are done.
I don't know how to or why I even should bother to want this or fix this...

:/

We are good together, but sometimes it just feels so mechanical and so "honey moon is over" like.... blah...

I am a Sag as well. After you are in a relationship for a while, the honey moon as you say, usually is over and the real part of the relationship starts to begin. Since he was married so long he probably is the type of man that will fall into the pattern of being comfortable in a relationship and not just a dating relationship. If he works as much as you say then, him fitting you into his life is a big deal. I am a very busy person as well and if I am just dating a man then I will see him or talk to him when I have time but if I really care about a man then I will loose sleep to want to talk with him or be with him. I WILL fit him into my life.

I was in a relationship with a Sag man and we both made time for each other until I realized he didn't want to settle down but he kept telling me he did but didn't show it except for the 1st year. After that I became to busy for him and him for me. I spent 3 years with him and we should of ended it sooner. I broke up with him over 6 months ago and he will still contact me here and there and I will respond but we don't want the same things so there was no reason to keep it going. I wasted 2 years where I could of met someone else when I already knew it wasn't going to work out. Either be in a relationship with your man or cut him loose so he can move on.

Posted by roamingfree
uuuhmm.... sooooo..... that was ok, untill two days ago we had a skype date, I rushed through the whole day to be ready for the evening. I haven't heard from him all day, than after midnight I just sent him a text saying: "good night, i'm going to bed" he replied: "good night" I asked him to call me, he did in a few minutes, I said to him in the least guilt tripping way that he could have let me know that we will not talk that evening and that all I ask for is a text or call next time, and he yelled into the phone: "I'm not dealing with this shit" and hung up.... yay me...I haven't heard from him since. I know he was online through out the day because the iphone app we use gives time stamps to the last visits.
I think it's safe to say we are done.
I don't know how to or why I even should bother to want this or fix this...

:/

The universe granted your wish. now u have all the time in the world.

That guy's a dick. Good riddance.

Posted by Wynter
That guy's a dick. Good riddance.

Agreed, kinda a jerk move.

He could be dealing with a lot right now tho. I say if you really like him make a last attempt at getting him back. Ask if something wrong or what he's been dealing with. I can't speak for all sags, but these last few weeks have been rough for me. He could be dealing with stuff too and maybe that's why he's irritable. Sometimes we snap at people. I did the other night. Things got too overwhelming and it's that time of the month so I ended up snapping at my scorpio when he wanted to figure out what was wrong.

Sometimes when the emotions run high we just can't deal. I feel like I wanna shut down, but my scorp didn't let me. So just try to make a last attempt before you say things are done

i did. i sent him a text yesterday about 6 saying that I haven't heard from him and is it safe to say we are done. - the way he acted was like mind as well say: "go f*** yourself" to me. there was no answer back at all. I can't chase some one who doesn't want to take the effort to even say "I need a few days to cool off" for whatever reason. if I make yet another effort than he can just was well walk all over me. I can't be bothered with that - I already had that in my life, don't plan on having a man act this way towards me again. 😢
I miss him dearly, but it's best probably that I move on and let him be. He obviously doesnt want to talk, if he did there is nothing in his way to do so.
When a man wants a woman, he will make it happen. If he wants to talk to one, nothing will stop him.
He's not making it happen.

😢
I'm so upset at this 😢

well, we made up - I backed out of that darn break. we were fine. things were fine. than he pulls this fast one for no reason at all.

Posted by Nights22

Posted by happykitsune

Posted by Wynter
That guy's a dick. Good riddance.

Agreed, kinda a jerk move.

He could be dealing with a lot right now tho. I say if you really like him make a last attempt at getting him back. Ask if something wrong or what he's been dealing with. I can't speak for all sags, but these last few weeks have been rough for me. He could be dealing with stuff too and maybe that's why he's irritable. Sometimes we snap at people. I did the other night. Things got too overwhelming and it's that time of the month so I ended up snapping at my scorpio when he wanted to figure out what was wrong.

Sometimes when the emotions run high we just can't deal. I feel like I wanna shut down, but my scorp didn't let me. So just try to make a last attempt before you say things are done

Oh shut the fuck up you two. He is no dick.

She wanted a break because she couldnt handle a real relationship once the honeymoon faze ended. So now she got her break and if he doesnt feel like talking to her he has every right since theyre on this break and all. I think once someone in a relation wants a break its a signal for the beginning of the end. I think he realized that as he should have.

This is ALL on her. She cant just go asking for breaks and then when she wants it to all be over and better expect him to be all happy joy joy.

click to expand

Ok, my bad. She's the dick. Good riddance.

Posted by Nights22

Posted by happykitsune

Posted by Wynter
That guy's a dick. Good riddance.

Agreed, kinda a jerk move.

He could be dealing with a lot right now tho. I say if you really like him make a last attempt at getting him back. Ask if something wrong or what he's been dealing with. I can't speak for all sags, but these last few weeks have been rough for me. He could be dealing with stuff too and maybe that's why he's irritable. Sometimes we snap at people. I did the other night. Things got too overwhelming and it's that time of the month so I ended up snapping at my scorpio when he wanted to figure out what was wrong.

Sometimes when the emotions run high we just can't deal. I feel like I wanna shut down, but my scorp didn't let me. So just try to make a last attempt before you say things are done

Oh shut the fuck up you two. He is no dick.

She wanted a break because she couldnt handle a real relationship once the honeymoon faze ended. So now she got her break and if he doesnt feel like talking to her he has every right since theyre on this break and all. I think once someone in a relation wants a break its a signal for the beginning of the end. I think he realized that as he should have.

This is ALL on her. She cant just go asking for breaks and then when she wants it to all be over and better expect him to be all happy joy joy.

click to expand

+1

bah! the break didn't even truly happen, unless you will count 12 hours, I realized soon enough that I don't want one and we were back to normal. this is different, but I like how everyone is making an excuse for a dude who was rude without a reason...snapped at me while I asked very unaccusatory to give me heads up if he can't make it. Not any different if I was sitting in a restaurant for two hours waiting for him to show up because we had a dinner date and he never showed up and just snapped like this.
the break never really happened, things went ok, things were good right away. he was irritated in the morning saying he slept too long and than the next thing I know he pulls that.
I don't see the logic behind it and all sense I can make is that he's not that into me 😢

if you cant take the heat, get out the kitchen.

saggis are half horse, half man. horses are moody creatures. we buck and want some space from time to time. gotta learn his patterns.

I totally agree with below. It's your own fault for wanting a break. If someone said that to me then, that break would be final for me for a relationship. If occasionally, I wanted sex or something, I might just allow that person to be around. But you DON'T tell a Sag you want a break. Lesson Learned!

I think logically speaking, you showed some red flags. Wanting this break no matter how fast you changed your mind showed you were not ready for anything real. And also you admitting you did this break with the wrong man and some of your other comments means you associate some of your exes actions with his and if a person starts associating things exes did with their new SO thats a huge red flag and hopefully he knows it.

he just made it all better: he said he's sorry, he was mad because he's leaving his kids behind - (he's being transferred to another base in a month), - he's having a hard time with it. he's sorry and he had a miserable couple days and doesn't want to be without out me and all kinds of other neat, realistic and to the point things.

gawd...I say we deserve each other

craps I love this man...

and really - the break was limited and he knows why and the reasons - I had all of a sudden too many things going on my plate and had to deal with my kids' diagnosis and my dogs death...he knows it had not much really to do with him, but he also knows that I get wrapped up in him.so, really lets get off this "break" that I put an end to it fast.

in any case - I do appreciate eveyone's imput. Really. 🙂

Posted by roamingfree
i did. i sent him a text yesterday about 6 saying that I haven't heard from him and is it safe to say we are done. - the way he acted was like mind as well say: "go f*** yourself" to me. there was no answer back at all. I can't chase some one who doesn't want to take the effort to even say "I need a few days to cool off" for whatever reason. if I make yet another effort than he can just was well walk all over me. I can't be bothered with that - I already had that in my life, don't plan on having a man act this way towards me again. 😢
I miss him dearly, but it's best probably that I move on and let him be. He obviously doesnt want to talk, if he did there is nothing in his way to do so.
When a man wants a woman, he will make it happen. If he wants to talk to one, nothing will stop him.
He's not making it happen.

😢
I'm so upset at this 😢

Yeah, a last attempt is all you can do. You made the effort. The balls in his court now. But you'll prob just wanna move from this, at least it sounds that way

Posted by happykitsune

Posted by roamingfree
i did. i sent him a text yesterday about 6 saying that I haven't heard from him and is it safe to say we are done. - the way he acted was like mind as well say: "go f*** yourself" to me. there was no answer back at all. I can't chase some one who doesn't want to take the effort to even say "I need a few days to cool off" for whatever reason. if I make yet another effort than he can just was well walk all over me. I can't be bothered with that - I already had that in my life, don't plan on having a man act this way towards me again. 😢
I miss him dearly, but it's best probably that I move on and let him be. He obviously doesnt want to talk, if he did there is nothing in his way to do so.
When a man wants a woman, he will make it happen. If he wants to talk to one, nothing will stop him.
He's not making it happen.

😢
I'm so upset at this 😢

Yeah, a last attempt is all you can do. You made the effort. The balls in his court now. But you'll prob just wanna move from this, at least it sounds that way

click to expand

he made it up. I get it. we're even. 8) whatever that means. he had his reasons or whatever. he's under a lot of stress and so I'll give him a break, but this better not be a prelude to a new habit. In the end all is good again. We're a good match, just both are fickle and our placements don't help at time, but also help tremendously. We seem stuck together.

relationships make me neurotic. I don't like it. I rather be not dating at all. I need to be either alone or absolutely both feet in. blah...

Posted by DMV

Posted by Nights22

Oh shut the fuck up you two. He is no dick.

She wanted a break because she couldnt handle a real relationship once the honeymoon faze ended. So now she got her break and if he doesnt feel like talking to her he has every right since theyre on this break and all. I think once someone in a relation wants a break its a signal for the beginning of the end. I think he realized that as he should have.

This is ALL on her. She cant just go asking for breaks and then when she wants it to all be over and better expect him to be all happy joy joy.

+1

click to expand

+2 He's going to see getting back with you is going to bite him in the ass. Even if you don't want to acknowledge it, the writing is on the wall. Hope I'm wrong but...

oh great, now I'm lost.

So you dumped him and he was mad.

I mean how did you think this was gonna turn out?

omgawd!
I didn't dump him - i need time to sort things out with my daughter and my dog passing if he gets it why no one here does? - it resulted in 12 hours, if that.
than we were good for a few days. than on Saturday he was irritated and this thing happened - he is divorced, he is leaving his 15 and 10 year old daughters behind because he is transferred to another base a few states away, while they live with their mother in another Soldiers house who is deployed right now. He is stressed out and it's getting to him. I get it. Today he apologized sincerely in very many words. We talked things out. Things are good now.... I did. He did. We are even. I get it.
In the end we are so similar it's freaky. I get every single lesson in this... I'm sure he does as well. Relationships flex, it matters only where you are at the end of the day...and I rather be with him.

Posted by DeadRingerr
This is like a bad Abbott and Costello skit, "What's on first and Who's on second."

lol! Yeah 😛

I sag will treat you the way you treat it. That is all I'm saying.

Posted by roamingfree

Posted by happykitsune

Yeah, a last attempt is all you can do. You made the effort. The balls in his court now. But you'll prob just wanna move from this, at least it sounds that way

he made it up. I get it. we're even. 8) whatever that means. he had his reasons or whatever. he's under a lot of stress and so I'll give him a break, but this better not be a prelude to a new habit. In the end all is good again. We're a good match, just both are fickle and our placements don't help at time, but also help tremendously. We seem stuck together.

click to expand

Meh, seems like there is something in the air. Stress is hittin'. Christmas season I suppose. Glad you got things worked out tho. Must be a better air today cus I fixed my problem as well. I don't feel as hostile. Didn't check the horoscope so I have no idea what the "forecast" was for sags yesterday or today. Must have been pretty blustery yesterday and died down today o.o

Posted by roamingfree
relationships make me neurotic. I don't like it. I rather be not dating at all. I need to be either alone or absolutely both feet in. blah...

I don't like it either. I get pretty emotional and out goes the logic. I guess it's not so bad when you're with someone who is stable and wants to be with you tho.

Posted by roamingfree
omgawd!
I didn't dump him - i need time to sort things out with my daughter and my dog passing if he gets it why no one here does? - it resulted in 12 hours, if that.
than we were good for a few days. than on Saturday he was irritated and this thing happened - he is divorced, he is leaving his 15 and 10 year old daughters behind because he is transferred to another base a few states away, while they live with their mother in another Soldiers house who is deployed right now. He is stressed out and it's getting to him. I get it. Today he apologized sincerely in very many words. We talked things out. Things are good now.... I did. He did. We are even. I get it.
In the end we are so similar it's freaky. I get every single lesson in this... I'm sure he does as well. Relationships flex, it matters only where you are at the end of the day...and I rather be with him.

I get what you're saying.

Maybe I missed it in this thread, but what is your sag's chart? I wonder if he's similar to me because I just had something like that happen with me and my scorpio recently.
I shut down and then today I apologized, we talked it out, and all was fine. I was super stressed yesterday tho and I snapped at him, which I regret. Which I'm betting your sag regrets what he did too.

And I agree. You're gonna have fights, but it's the way you handle those fights and resolve the problem to make things better than matters at the end of the day.

him:

Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Sagittarius 29.06 Ascendant Gemini 8.42
Moon Cancer 5.38 II Gemini 29.56
Mercury Sagittarius 9.01 III Cancer 18.44
Venus Sagittarius 2.37 IV Leo 9.24
Mars Scorpio 23.22 V Virgo 6.55
Jupiter Capricorn 15.15 VI Libra 18.21
Saturn Gemini 16.08 R VII Sagittarius 8.42
Uranus Libra 22.25 VIII Sagittarius 29.56
Neptune Sagittarius 5.52 IX Capricorn 18.44
Pluto Libra 4.21 Midheaven Aquarius 9.24
Lilith Sagittarius 3.30 XI Pisces 6.55
Asc node Capricorn 16.56 XII Aries 18.21

me:

Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Gemini 16.46 Ascendant Scorpio 18.00
Moon Virgo 14.14 II Sagittarius 18.15
Mercury Cancer 6.09 III Capricorn 27.34
Venus Cancer 2.18 IV Pisces 7.42
Mars Pisces 21.11 V Aries 8.36
Jupiter Aquarius 12.02 R VI Taurus 1.01
Saturn Gemini 23.07 VII Taurus 18.00
Uranus Libra 19.05 R VIII Gemini 18.15
Neptune Sagittarius 5.46 R IX Cancer 27.34
Pluto Libra 1.42 R Midheaven Virgo 7.42
Lilith Sagittarius 22.19 XI Libra 8.36
Asc node Capricorn 7.49 XII Scorpio 1.01

my Scorpio is driving me crazy today btw...gloomy, jealous, lonesome pits of nagging despair that it's too good to be true, but I'm keeping that out of the Sag's earshot :/

Posted by happykitsune
I never understood a persons need to take a break. Sure I get irritated, very busy, tired of people, but I force myself to stick with it.

Idk, just never understood why someone would take a break unless they were planning to break up. Why not just fix stuff with him still in your life? Or is he always up your ass?

I could see where a mr.nice would do that

I fully agree on this

Posted by GemsrGalsBestPals
The only time I need a break is when I am having too much sex,lol.With too many people.At once😉

Holy crappy clone acct on a stick! And a ton of useless attention-whore posts to boot.

Heh..that's your Mars in Leo showing. 😉

Yeah he sun, asc, moon, and mars are very similar to mine. the moon is cancer while mine is scorp but thts still very similar. I think we have the same merc too.

You still with ur sag?