OProserpina
@OProserpina
13 YearsVirgo
Comments: 0 · Posts: 342 · Topics: 19
Advice/Moral Support (Page 3)
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Posted by PhoenixRising
I find it funny, Virgo doesn't correct IntriguedScorp in her response below..... . So now it's "The more things have progressed over the years, it has become blatantly clear to me (from talking to him)...he's told me flat out that they have nothing in common. he's also told me their relationships foundation was on sex and pretty much sex alone." Which one is it? Are you misrepresenting things now, or was he lying then ("he has feeling for Aqua---no, gosh gee it's just sex"). I'm not interested in accusing you of anything, so we'll just say he's lying. If he was lying, that tells you already who you were dealing with. I'm trying to route for you here, but this is all very confusing luv.
Okay, these are two different frames of time.
Timeline:
- May (1st year/Intro to Scorp/No knowledge of Aqua/Scorp and I just getting benefits)
- August (1st year/Scorp & I add friends to the benefits portion/still no knowledge of Aqua on my part)
- October ( 1st year/ Scorp mentions some psycho girl he used to know, but insinuates she's out of the picture/I open up to Scorp about my life/dad)
- November ( 1st year/ Dad Dies, Aqua takes my number from his phone, and starts randomly texting me/ I put two and two together and realize it's the psycho girl he was talking about before)
- November (1st year/ He invites me + my friends to his birthday dinner/outing....Aqua corners me at the end of the night and just starts rambling things mentioned in OP/ I leave and don't talk to him for a month)
- End of December (1st year, she's out of his life for awhile so I decide, okay, i'll give this a shot and see if they're done with...whatever the hell they are doing, he claims she wanted to date him and he wouldn't so she freaks out and the girls he's sleeping with because he won't commit) (AT THIS POINT SHE IS NOT IN THE PICTURE AT ALL)
- March (Almost end of 1st year, at some point he starts hanging out with Aqua again and not telling me, I find out/he says he really has feelings for her this time/they date & I disappear.)
*more to continue
End of April = The broke up in early April, and he seeks me out. We become friends again, and she's out of the picture.
Somewhere in between = She dates this other guy she's been seeing for awhile...
Fast forward to the...
February (a year (ish) later): She returns...and they date once more for a month...but this time, I refuse to see him, because it's the second time this has happened and i'm giving up on him...or so I thought I would. (but he manages to keep tabs on me through a mutual friend of ours, because she works for him)
May: I go on vacation, and come back, and i let him convince me to meet up, because he's driving our mutual friend nuts asking about me.
(I also met decan 3 scorp while on hiatus from decan 2 scorp)..
August: Scorp and I date, we break up in september. (this was last year)
Now, she has been gone since last february, and just now reappeared again THIS June.
I think, that should put everyone exactly on point. Any questions, ask, PLEASE.
Somewhere in between = She dates this other guy she's been seeing for awhile...
Fast forward to the...
February (a year (ish) later): She returns...and they date once more for a month...but this time, I refuse to see him, because it's the second time this has happened and i'm giving up on him...or so I thought I would. (but he manages to keep tabs on me through a mutual friend of ours, because she works for him)
May: I go on vacation, and come back, and i let him convince me to meet up, because he's driving our mutual friend nuts asking about me.
(I also met decan 3 scorp while on hiatus from decan 2 scorp)..
August: Scorp and I date, we break up in september. (this was last year)
Now, she has been gone since last february, and just now reappeared again THIS June.
I think, that should put everyone exactly on point. Any questions, ask, PLEASE.
Posted by OProserpinaPosted by PhoenixRising
I find it funny, Virgo doesn't correct IntriguedScorp in her response below..... . So now it's "The more things have progressed over the years, it has become blatantly clear to me (from talking to him)...he's told me flat out that they have nothing in common. he's also told me their relationships foundation was on sex and pretty much sex alone." Which one is it? Are you misrepresenting things now, or was he lying then ("he has feeling for Aqua---no, gosh gee it's just sex"). I'm not interested in accusing you of anything, so we'll just say he's lying. If he was lying, that tells you already who you were dealing with. I'm trying to route for you here, but this is all very confusing luv.
Okay, these are two different frames of time.
Timeline:
- End of December (1st year, she's out of his life for awhile so I decide, okay, i'll give this a shot and see if they're done with...whatever the hell they are doing, he claims she wanted to date him and he wouldn't so she freaks out and the girls he's sleeping with because he won't commit) (AT THIS POINT SHE IS NOT IN THE PICTURE AT ALL)
- March (Almost end of 1st year, at some point he starts hanging out with Aqua again and not telling me, I find out/he says he really has feelings for her this time/they date & I disappear.)
*more to continueclick to expand
Okay, first things: based on this information here, when you think back did you not sense he could not be trusted? You state "she's out of his life for awhile... okay, i'll give this a shot and see if they're done with...whatever the hell they are doing", which says to me that a part of you knew he was not trustworthy, that there was a strong chance this "situation" between them was a lot of drama and not necessarily over, but for some reason you did not listen to yourself and pursued it anyway. You need to ask yourself why? Why were you willing to accept less (e.g. dishonesty, drama, psycho twit) when you could get more? Did you think you could achieve more? Did you even think you deserved more? You're email states you realize that at some point (which we can get to later), bu
*sigh*....(con't) but unless you figure that out he may slip into your life again--or worse you go through all of this again with some other dude.
why is everyone so rattled by p-angel all the time!! if it wasn't for her, this place would be mind numbingly boring sometimes, lol.
plus the stock price of skittles goes through the roof every time she 'contributes' in her inimitable style e. i'm going long on skittles immediately.
plus the stock price of skittles goes through the roof every time she 'contributes' in her inimitable style e. i'm going long on skittles immediately.
Posted by OProserpina
- March (Almost end of 1st year, at some point he starts hanging out with Aqua again and not telling me, I find out/he says he really has feelings for her this time/they date & I disappear.)
End of April = The broke up in early April, and he seeks me out. We become friends again, and she's out of the picture.
So here, this man has lied to you about seeing her (on the side? we really don't know, you may have been the side thing since he clearly was never an honest person) but you allowed him back in your life just like that. I realize I am assuming here (and really fast forwarding through all the "baby I'm sorry...I was confused" whatever), but I don't think it's a leap to realize that you didn't really address the BS that brought you to this point. March to the end of April..come on-- forgive me tough love again. again, you need to ask yourself why you were so willing to accept sloppy seconds. He only came back to you because SHE left him, no matter how he packaged it.
Posted by OProserpina
Posted by OProserpina
Fast forward to the...
February (a year (ish) later): She returns...and they date once more for a month...but this time, I refuse to see him, because it's the second time this has happened and i'm giving up on him...or so I thought I would. (but he manages to keep tabs on me through a mutual friend of ours, because she works for him)
click to expand
Again, you know what's up, but take him back into your life. So basically, after being with him for a year. Caring about him, building a "bond" of some form with him, he just ups and decides to be with her as well (on the side?). Now that is all good and gravy b/c you're FWB right? So what exactly is the issue? Perhaps you were not just seeing this a FWB and wanted more. Otherwise, all of this wouldn't have bothered you. When you you state: "I refuse to see him, because it's the second time this has happened an
lockquote>Posted by OProserpina
Fast forward to the...
February (a year (ish) later): She returns...and they date once more for a month...but this time, I refuse to see him, because it's the second time this has happened and i'm giving up on him...or so I thought I would. (but he manages to keep tabs on me through a mutual friend of ours, because she works for him)
Again, you know what's up, but take him back into your life. So basically, after being with him for a year. Caring about him, building a "bond" of some form with him, he just ups and decides to be with her as well (on the side?). Now that is all good and gravy b/c you're FWB right? So what exactly is the issue? Perhaps you were not just seeing this a FWB and wanted more. Otherwise, all of this wouldn't have bothered you. When you you state: "I refuse to see him, because it's the second time this has happened and i'm giving up on him..." that says you did NOT just see yourself as just FWB. You hoped you meant more to him and he was plainly showing you, no you are not! Let's continue.
Posted by OProserpina
May: I go on vacation, and come back, and i let him convince me to meet up, because he's driving our mutual friend nuts asking about me.
click to expand
Here is where I begin to have issue. I hear what you're saying. I understand it, but I don't think you do. No where in this do *you* take responsibility for what took place. Was he doing an a $ $ hole thing? Yes. However, you still decided to get back involved with him. Now if you simply said "I still cared about him, hoped to make this "more than just FWB, so I decided to give it another go--my bad" (more honest) then I would be cool. No, you write about how he's "was pestering my friends, so I let him convince me to give him another chance" Who the f*ck cares! Could you not have taken ownership and contact him to say "look, you lied, treated me like crap, go f*ck yourself. Stop harassing my friends because we will never be friends again"? Nothing was "done" to you. You made a conscious choice to be treated poorly. Hon, I'm really not trying to beat you over the head here, you said you wanted to reflect *roll up sleeve* so let's reflect
Summary: You made some poor decisions--you already know this, so let's not beat a dead horse. The areas of personal growth for you, since that is what you are saying you want, is to honestly (and privately--or with a therapist--no judgement) find answers to why you made the decisions you made. Why you were so willing to be treated the way you were. Is it a matter of being more honest with yourself about what it is you want from other/partner? Is it that you think you don't deserve more? Do you think you're worthy of more? Otherwise this will play itself out in some other relationship. I'm not trying to assume these are any of your issues, but there ARE some issues there. We all have our f*ckin' issues. Whatever. No shame. Do you want to relieve them or learn from this situation and grow up? I honestly think this is a private process, not for a forum. You don't need anyone opinions about your own issues and the answers you come up with--including my own--but here you are, so here it is. Good luck--peace out homie!
*relive...I typed way too much
Posted by OProserpinaPosted by RealTalkPosted by OProserpina
Decan 3 and I are still friends, but he was pretty pissed I picked Decan 2 over him. (I deserve this, and lost a great guy)
stupid stupid stupid.
You don't deserve that. WTF? You just believed at that time you & the scorp had another chance to make the relationship work. That's not a bad thing. If you & the other guy are still friends, maybe the 2 of you can work something out now. He's still in your life right? Worth a shot. 😉
No, I do deserve that actually. It' is exactly what I would do to me in that situation.click to expand
You sound as if you're playing the martyr. Do you subconsciously believe you deserved to be treated that way by the scorp? I don't want to assume here but you seem to justify his actions a great deal just like you're justifying the second guys actions so that it appears ok. *shrugs*
Greatest thread ever! 😉
Posted by PhoenixRising
Summary: You made some poor decisions--you already know this, so let's not beat a dead horse. The areas of personal growth for you, since that is what you are saying you want, is to honestly (and privately--or with a therapist--no judgement) find answers to why you made the decisions you made. Why you were so willing to be treated the way you were. Is it a matter of being more honest with yourself about what it is you want from other/partner? Is it that you think you don't deserve more? Do you think you're worthy of more? Otherwise this will play itself out in some other relationship. I'm not trying to assume these are any of your issues, but there ARE some issues there. We all have our f*ckin' issues. Whatever. No shame. Do you want to relieve them or learn from this situation and grow up? I honestly think this is a private process, not for a forum. You don't need anyone opinions about your own issues and the answers you come up with--including my own--but here you are, so here it is. Good luck--peace out homie!
You're right. I know it was my own stupidity. This isn't a theme in my life. He's the only one I've allowed anything like this to happen with. (and yes i've had other relationships). All of the above is true about how I wanted more than friends with benefits (in the beginning I wasn't sure, this feeling came later)
I made the final decision to post it here because I felt like if I posted it here anonymously then I could read it over and over and finally listen to my own stupid advice. (and others). to ensure I never let it happen again. I think I only let him around again because I'm stubborn and don't like to give up on anything. especially things I care a great deal about. I was never blind about anything, but I didn't want to give up and walk away. I have a problem with just walking away from problems...even if they involve people. Well, I'm just gonna have to get over that! I've always known, known better, you name it. I just haven't been able to figure out the "how" part...in regards to my stubborn (all or nothing, rush headfirst) kind of nature.
Obviously, as much as we all know we should trust our close friends...some times we need random outsiders to scream a
Posted by RealTalkPosted by OProserpinaPosted by RealTalkPosted by OProserpina
Decan 3 and I are still friends, but he was pretty pissed I picked Decan 2 over him. (I deserve this, and lost a great guy)
stupid stupid stupid.
You don't deserve that. WTF? You just believed at that time you & the scorp had another chance to make the relationship work. That's not a bad thing. If you & the other guy are still friends, maybe the 2 of you can work something out now. He's still in your life right? Worth a shot. 😉
No, I do deserve that actually. It' is exactly what I would do to me in that situation.
You sound as if you're playing the martyr. Do you subconsciously believe you deserved to be treated that way by the scorp? I don't want to assume here but you seem to justify his actions a great deal just like you're justifying the second guys actions so that it appears ok. *shrugs*click to expand
To answer your question, No, I have never thought I "deserved" to be treated that way by him.
I only justify the other Scorps actions because I blatantly did him wrong by going back to a situation I KNEW was bad. So, yes, I feel that I didn't deserve him for that reason. Truth be told, when I met Scorp number 2, I didn't have high expectations of us liking each other as much as we did. He's not typically the kind of guy I'd go for. I also want someone that invokes emotion in me...that gives me some sort of passion. I usually assume I won't have that with people. Which is why I said it's hard for me to find someone I actually like. I have to be passionately moved by someone...not just physically. all around.
It cut off my first post...but I was going to say that
"Sometimes we need random strangers to yell at us, it's easier to shake yourself out of stupidity...especially if you know the problem and refuse to walk away or listen to yourself."
"Sometimes we need random strangers to yell at us, it's easier to shake yourself out of stupidity...especially if you know the problem and refuse to walk away or listen to yourself."
Oh yeah, I also mentioned (it got cut off), that i'm a Rising Aries. So, I like to stubbornly rush head first into things with a relentlessly passionate force. It's like being in a permanent forest fire. Enhance that with Moon in Cancer hyperdrive emotions = Catastrophic mess.
Posted by IntriguedScorp
You pulled the feelings for Aqua out of your ass, P.
Posted by OProserpina
He tells me (expecting me to be thrilled), that he thinks he has feelings for her.
Of course he ends up dating her ....
click to expand
The timeline, on page 11, fills in where/when he actually said he might have feelings for her.
Posted by OProserpina
.... making keys to his place and showing up when I was sleeping over, to e-mailing
He tells me (expecting me to be thrilled), that he thinks he has feelings for her.
Of course he ends up dating her ...
This is my favorite part of your bullshit ....
Just this part alone is enough to prove the utter bullshit .....
At this point you two were dating (allegedly) and you want to have a talk with her and tell her that you have a ground to stand on now, what's her problem, she can't talk to you like that.
Then you say "sure" to him wanting to take her out dancing.
Seriously ... what a crock of shit !!!
You say "sure" when your boyfriend wants to take the Aqua out dancing?
Whoever took this at face value, or is to stupid to realize that the true story is written right there inbetween the lines is a dumbfuck.
I'm not that person ... I can smell your bullshit all the way over here ... because I know goddamn well that a woman who had been fighting to get the man she wants, once she finally gets statues, she is NOT going to agree for him to go dancing with the enemy. And you said it so carelessly, so non-chalantly, like it didn't really matter.
Full of Bullshit ... you are
Posted by OProserpina
.... he and I also dated, last year for the first time since our friendship...or whatever it is. He ends up talking to her, and I tell him, Look I want to meet up with this girl one more time and just tell her it wasn't okay for her to speak to me that way...
He asks me if he can bring her out dancing (with me and my friends), and I say sure..
Just this part alone is enough to prove the utter bullshit .....
At this point you two were dating (allegedly) and you want to have a talk with her and tell her that you have a ground to stand on now, what's her problem, she can't talk to you like that.
Then you say "sure" to him wanting to take her out dancing.
Seriously ... what a crock of shit !!!
You say "sure" when your boyfriend wants to take the Aqua out dancing?
Whoever took this at face value, or is to stupid to realize that the true story is written right there inbetween the lines is a dumbfuck.
I'm not that person ... I can smell your bullshit all the way over here ... because I know goddamn well that a woman who had been fighting to get the man she wants, once she finally gets statues, she is NOT going to agree for him to go dancing with the enemy. And you said it so carelessly, so non-chalantly, like it didn't really matter.
Full of Bullshit ... you are
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