Ask Stinger Ladies (Page 2)

You are on page out of 3 | Reverse Order
Profile picture of MoonArtist
MoonArtist
@MoonArtist
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87
Posted by Infinite8
Posted by MoonArtist
ok, question for the stinger ladies....
since the scorpio had her peace offering rebuffed, how is she going to take it, will she attempt more or will she grow a spine and actually try to fix her end of things, OR will she get butthurt and leave me alone?



Hello MA,

These are my thoughts on her:
When a Scorpio woman (Mars/Pluto energy) is with an Aries (mars energy), be it romantic, familial, work or friendship... The mars energy is heightened. Aries and Scorpio can become more extreme in their thoughts and actions because they have a lot of things(mars energy) in common and together they believe they are always in the right... But in a more forceful, hard, direct, black&white way.
Scorpio can also be extremely loyal to Taurus. Rather a weak spot there. Those two (Aries & Scorpio)probably appreciated his unwavering (in its own way extreme) views and respected his behavior/opinions.

So, with her husband she probably had some extreme views in the situation and saw you as a weak link in some way. I'm not sure how you were with them, but if passive-aggressive and trying to please all: She could have seen this in bad light as a type of fakeness and weakness.

Her peace offering: not sure it was a peace offering. IMO, I think it was only the begining of a peace offering. Meaning: If you accepted the slurpy, it would lighten the air between you two and it would have allowed a moment where you two could talk about what happened, clear the air, apologize where it was needed. Perhaps her Pluto energy finally kicked in and she saw the whole picture and saw how wrong her behavior was. You not accepting the slurpy perhaps gave her the indication that you are not interested in hearing an apology out and just want to stay "in the hurt". She will probably walk away with clear conscience that she made the move towards a peace offering, but cannot go any further because YOU cannot handle it at this moment.

I might be completely wrong... But I am a Scorpio, and that is just how I saw the scenario.

I hope it helps 🙂
click to expand




Posted by Infinite8
MA: I'm actually more confrontive, even with my apologies... So, not sure why she hasn't done that yet. Maybe you need to s
Profile picture of MoonArtist
MoonArtist
@MoonArtist
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87

That does make sense. I know my Aries Mars can go a bit wiggy at times and it drives me nuts when it does (and everyone around me...like the last month!). A big part of her doesn't like my ex because she's seen the controlling behavior and is against it, especially as she is pretty independent, BUT, he's still her husband's brother and she lives on the same property (my ex mil/fil own it) with the rest of the compound. From what I've heard through the grapevine she's caught a huge amount of hell from that family for her "support" of me, especially since she's the one who told me back in Jan. 2013 that my mil had told my then husband that if I do seek divorce to not worry, she has more money than me and would get the kids.

As for how I was with the family....I was a little passive aggressive if someone would mess with me. Example: sil made a snotty comment about me not eating dinner at the mil's house on a certain night because the entire meal minus the anemic salad was loaded with wheat. She hates it when I cuss in front of her kids and since I didn't appreciate her mean comment I responded by agreeing with her but with some added swear words since her oldest was in the kitchen. I know, not nice, but she cusses in front of her kids when she's pitching a fit, so it's not like they've never heard it all before. I've even heard her call her daughter a shit. Most of the time I was pretty in their face and would stand up for myself, something that the ex and his family didn't like. Example: about 5 yrs ago there was a fire in the area that they evacuated for. We all stayed and we were fine, the fire never crossed from one side of the glen to the other. At the mil's house I said to my sil that we should think about getting a horse trailer (we both had a horse on the property) so we could get them out fast in an emergency like that. My fil was listening and said that buying a horse trailer was the stupidest thing one could do. He then went on to say that the 2 acre pasture (completely ringed by 60 ft. california incense cedars) was the safest place for the horses if there was another fire. I disagreed and he pulled the "Listen here, little girl. You think you know more about horses than I do and I'm older....?" My response was, "Yes, I do know more than you about horses. All you've ever done with them is occasionally play on a couple of plow horses for a few years out of your life and I've been riding seriously since I was 8, have competed in Hunter Jumpers
Profile picture of MoonArtist
MoonArtist
@MoonArtist
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87
in Hunter Jumpers and have trained horses." Needless to say, he didn't like it and I've never been one to defer to someone just because they are older. Prove yourself worthy and you'll have my respect, act like an arrogant ass and you can forget about it. Anyway, there were plenty of times I rocked the boat but I was outnumbered. Any dissension would earn a huge fight with the husband and him insisting I hate them, etc. The fights could go on/off for several days before he either tired of it or thought my silence was an agreement to comply.

The sil's little peace offering probably was her way to clear the air a little. That makes sense. My cardinal energy doesn't really go that route for how I handle things like apologizing. I'll just plow forward and do it, might even be a bit bull doggy about it just to make sure they really understand how sorry I was, but I don't really put feelers out like that to see if I should proceed. If I need to say it then it's coming out and you'll hear it, even if you don't want to.

I'm trying to decide how I would constructively confront her on the issue. Not sure which way would be the most effective. I'm not so sure I want much to do with her as far as having her a part of my life, considering how tied into that family she is, and I certainly don't expect her to divorce and run away. I've never fully trusted her and it's even less now. I do want the air cleared, though, because I don't like feeling as if a loose end is flying around.
Profile picture of MoonArtist
MoonArtist
@MoonArtist
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87
Posted by Impulsv
Ok MA
Even if they are wrong, like I explained earlier, if u mess with my family u mess with me. So hearing u hurt her Taurus brother the nastiness was unleashed. Perhaps not even knowing the whole story. But once she heard u left her brother n his side of the story she called n unleashed the worst. Yes we will do this n don't give butter because my family is first.
But I won't protect them if they did wrong.

Frankly in a scorp mind there is no need for peace offering unless the truth of the story came out n she could see all the Taurus bad traits u describe. But she probably doesn't seem him as u do so ultimate the loyalty is for her brother. Perhaps The only reason she'd like to keep it civil is for the kids.
But I'd say keep doing as ur doing. U can't be liked by all. Leave her alone she will let u be. Unless u mess with her brother ( hypothetacilly lol)



She's married to my ex's brother, but yes, she is super protective of family, which is a great trait unless you're protecting wrong. I'm sure she disagrees with how I left, disagrees that I had to leave, who knows. We never really talked about divorce since when I made my mind to leave him I wasn't about to tip him off by her knowing and accidentally saying something to his brother. She could very well be doing it for the sake of the kids, hers and mine, but the kids see plenty of each other when they're with their father since they all live on the same family compound and eat dinner at the mother's house every night.
Profile picture of MoonArtist
MoonArtist
@MoonArtist
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87
Posted by Juicysbaby214
Post got cut off but iwas saying i never turn down anything save for stuff chewed out of someones mouth. That hasn't happened lol ever.



I do politely turn down things if I don't want them. I'm under no obligation to eat something just because someone gives it to me. As for non-edible gifts, I'll accept them graciously, unless it's a ploy by someone I don't like and don't trust, in which case they'll find out very bluntly that the gift is declined and I want nothing from them.
Profile picture of LilliLou
LilliLou
@LilliLou
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 391 · Posts: 3020 · Topics: 28
MA, it's a tough situation...

I'm a little tipsy, but I know I don't like a fuss, but I also don't like to have my nose rubbed in a mistake/ bad behaviour... Generally I will step up in the heat of the moment- BUT! If it's an older wound I will try to smooth over, a little token gesture, then carry on... Mars; let's get moving...
I guess that doesn't suit cancers who want to dwell, but people I want to keep in my life/ mean something to me/ love me will. Understand. Even if they don't really condone it.

Not fair perhaps? #scorpiorules
Profile picture of PhoenixRising
PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
So. Lovely Arthropod ladies, what it is it that that truly gets your attention in terms of a man, beyond just the superficial?



Intelligent
Kind
Patient
Thoughtful
Respectful
Ambitious
Assertive
Good Sense of style
Committed
Rebellious 😈
Open Minded
Witty/Clever/Sarcastic (or at least appreciate this trait)
Be quick to listen and slow to speak...
Profile picture of FixedWater
FixedWater
@FixedWater
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 23 · Posts: 2298 · Topics: 37
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
So. Lovely Arthropod ladies, what it is it that that truly gets your attention in terms of a man, beyond just the superficial?



Intelligent
Kind
Patient
Thoughtful
Respectful
Ambitious
Assertive
Good Sense of style
Committed
Rebellious 😈
Open Minded
Witty/Clever/Sarcastic (or at least appreciate this trait)
Be quick to listen and slow to speak...
click to expand




I want this, and he has to be able to pick me up OR catch me when I hurl myself at him. 😄
Profile picture of FixedWater
FixedWater
@FixedWater
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 23 · Posts: 2298 · Topics: 37
Posted by IrresistableScorp
Posted by Damnata
lol @ scorpios being compared to tsunamis

*rolls eyes*

overplaying their hand like crazy.



You really have never had a relationship with a true scorp before have you?

That ain't an overplayed hand, its a force of will. Do you get that?

I don't think you do. 🙂
click to expand




When I see the words "No Drama" on a profile of a Man that has sent me a message, I giggle. 😉
Profile picture of PhoenixRising
PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by Fox
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by Fox
How do you go about cutting a 'family' member out of your life?



*🤗* Just take space until it gets better.

If you feel the same way in a few, I'll answer this question.


I've thought about this for many years lmao and I've only now started cutting this person out, but I don't like the way I'm doing it. I'm not explaining why I'm doing it and that's not normally how I do things. This person in my eyes doesn't deserve an explanation though and actually I don't want to talk to this person.
Have you ever had to cut someone out who's been related to you?
click to expand



Ah, well see that was what I meant in my post. Scorps don't typically need tips, or a "how to guide" on ways to "cut someone out of your life". So, I guessed (or assumed) you were just upset at the moment. If you really wanted to (or were ready to) you would have already.

To answer your question, yes. I left home four days after I turned 16 and never looked back. I resume a relationship with my sister when my niece was born a few years ago. She and my niece are the only people in my immediate family that I talk to. All of my "family" members are friendships I developed when I was a kid and manage to maintain or distant relatives back home.

I can be extremely cold when I am hurting. I detach almost immediately and don't look back, which you clearly are not. What's making it hard Foxy? Is it something that needs a serious heartfelt conversation and time?
Profile picture of LilliLou
LilliLou
@LilliLou
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 391 · Posts: 3020 · Topics: 28
Posted by Fox
I know for definite that I will cut him out because 24 years is long enough to step up to the mark of being a father and I've now had enough. Do I explain why? is there no need to? maybe It's a need to vent before I completely cut him off that I need. *



Hugs little Foxy... I understand this very well!

I think there is weighing up of how important it is to you to get this thing off your chest and make sure that the other person knows exactly why/ what. This is common to sagi placements- needing to tell someone off!
But I think your hesistation is based around your scorpy-ness protecting you just incase all your reasoning falls on deaf ears and that hurts your wee heart.
So much more so that of all the people parents can do so much more damage to us.
Profile picture of LilliLou
LilliLou
@LilliLou
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 391 · Posts: 3020 · Topics: 28
Posted by aquasnoz
well follow up question: (ps wee fox, you're a pocket rocket :p strong as they come!)

Is it because there's an expectation to be understood without explanation? Is it a preservation mechanism to safeguard emotions?



I think a lot of it is, partly to see how well you can read me, partly due to an egotistical belief that everyone understands what is going on in my head/ heart
Profile picture of aquasnoz
aquasnoz
@aquasnoz
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 362 · Posts: 10167 · Topics: 100
Posted by IrresistableScorp
Posted by aquasnoz
well follow up question: (ps wee fox, you're a pocket rocket :p strong as they come!)

Is it because there's an expectation to be understood without explanation? Is it a preservation mechanism to safeguard emotions?



That's a good question.

For me personally its because words have meaning and once I attach words to how I'm feeling then I am bound by their meaning. Like by the time I express a feeling, I know exactly what I am getting myself into and no turning back. Until then, I keep it light. my two cents.
click to expand




Interesting IS, that's exactly how I feel about words as well. I guess what I fear is sometimes my assumptions are wrong, and not knowing which words to use it becomes a silent mental argument with scorps.
Profile picture of aquasnoz
aquasnoz
@aquasnoz
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 362 · Posts: 10167 · Topics: 100
Posted by LilliLou
I think a lot of it is, partly to see how well you can read me, partly due to an egotistical belief that everyone understands what is going on in my head/ heart



Is it sadistic of me to say, I quite enjoy the little 'game' and the subtle probing into the minds?

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry

It's really simple for me.

I just don't know how.

click to expand




Actually a fair point. Is it more matters dealing with negativity? Can't recall the amount of times I've wanted to say something but silence came out lol, like something malfunctioned.
Profile picture of LilliLou
LilliLou
@LilliLou
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 391 · Posts: 3020 · Topics: 28
Haha, no, I also love the 'game'...

^^ IS & Snoz, this is quite interesting! I remember a family friend once telling me to be precise with my words... and how a collection of noise can be so easily scrambled from the mouth of one to the ear of another.
But paradoxically there is nothing you can do once they have been said.
(The family friend is a scorp with a whole lot of super intense)
Profile picture of PhoenixRising
PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by Fox

I guess what's holding me back is the fact that I want this person to know exactly why he is being cut out. I'm a bit conflicted though because at the same time: I think he should know why. He should instinctively know why. I am in the process of cutting him out, I've had no communication with this person for months now. It's not so much that I'm looking for tips, but I'm curious as to whether people have felt comfortable just leaving. You seemed to have been able to do that. Well instead of referring this person as a person smh, he is my 'father'. I know for definite that I will cut him out because 24 years is long enough to step up to the mark of being a father and I've now had enough. Do I explain why? is there no need to? maybe It's a need to vent before I completely cut him off that I need. *



It's funny because as I read a post I already have an answer/reply in my mind and then....I read the rest of the post. So my answer is going to be different from what I was going to write initially.

Well, I believe the only people that can read minds are Scorps (😛), so I don't know if it's fair to expect that he will just intuitively "get it". It sounds like expressing how much he has hurt you is something you need to do, but your sort of hoping he'll make the first move. It may not happen. So if you need it, do it. Going silent on people does not teach them some sort of lesson. I'm not sure why water sign operate in that way. Expressing how he has affected you does---if that is important to you.
Profile picture of PhoenixRising
PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by aquasnoz
well follow up question: (ps wee fox, you're a pocket rocket :p strong as they come!)




+1

Posted by aquasnoz

Is it because there's an expectation to be understood without explanation? Is it a preservation mechanism to safeguard emotions?
click to expand




Hmph......hmmmm, I guess unfairly, sometimes yes there has been an expectation, but I am learning to let that go. For the most part though, I'm just not a person that expresses my feelings verbally. Especially when I was younger. I'd much prefer to throw a chair at your head then say I am pissed off. I figured the chair said everything I could possible say.

I would say this has changed significantly over the years, but only with the people I care about. I have tried to make more of an effort to just take a deep breathe and put myself/feelings out there.
Profile picture of MoonArtist
MoonArtist
@MoonArtist
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87
Posted by Fox
I'm still so young and na??ve. I hope that when I'm older, I'm a much stronger person.



You're definitely young, but you most certainly will grow up to be stronger. We either let the hard lessons crush us or we choose to learn from them and rise above, stronger, better and more wise. The key is that you CHOOSE.

As for the confusion you have in regards to your "father"; I think part of you knows that the cut might be permanent and you're burning a bridge, but that you still hold onto a sliver of hope way down deep in your heart that he'll step up to the plate and be what he should have been for you, while your logical part of the mind knows it won't happen. It's ok, that's normal, we all want that security and love from our parents, we just don't always get what we want or need from everyone. Part of you also wants him to know the WHY of it so you can dole out a little of your pain to him, and again, that logical part knows that it's wasted energy and won't really make anything better.
Profile picture of Sn1p3r187
Sn1p3r187
@Sn1p3r187
12 Years5,000+ PostsCapricorn

Comments: 546 · Posts: 6870 · Topics: 474
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
Posted by Sn1p3r187
Are Scorps known for cheating? And if so- Why would they cheat?



I personally have never cheated.

However, I had a best friend who was a scorp and she had an affair with my ex Cap husband when we were still married.

I don't think you can take Sun sign alone and determine if someone is a cheater or not.
click to expand


Does moon come into play? Say Sag moon?
Profile picture of FixedWater
FixedWater
@FixedWater
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 23 · Posts: 2298 · Topics: 37
Posted by Sn1p3r187
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
Posted by Sn1p3r187
Are Scorps known for cheating? And if so- Why would they cheat?



I personally have never cheated.

However, I had a best friend who was a scorp and she had an affair with my ex Cap husband when we were still married.

I don't think you can take Sun sign alone and determine if someone is a cheater or not.

Does moon come into play? Say Sag moon?
click to expand




I agree with TS, and I would add that I have experienced the same behaviors from different sun signs. That would indicate the problem exists within me and has less to do with astrology and a whole lot to do with life experiences. Astrology is an amazing tool, but just a tool.
Profile picture of MoonArtist
MoonArtist
@MoonArtist
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87
Posted by Infinite8
Posted by MoonArtist


I'm trying to decide how I would constructively confront her on the issue. Not sure which way would be the most effective. I'm not so sure I want much to do with her as far as having her a part of my life, considering how tied into that family she is, and I certainly don't expect her to divorce and run away. I've never fully trusted her and it's even less now. I do want the air cleared, though, because I don't like feeling as if a loose end is flying around.



Thats a great sign that you are pondering on what steps to take next instead of taking an emotional reaction. I understand it doesn't make sense to keep her close, if you don't trust her and it might not be worth it to be so confrontive and create unnecessary drama.

What's in it for you to have her in your life? How will you benefit from her friendship? Are you staying close because of the kids?
click to expand




The kids would be the main reason for having contact with her, but it would be hard to fully trust her. It's not that she's a bad person or even a back stabber, it's just that her loyalty is to her husband and that also means a part of it extends to his brother, etc.
Profile picture of 2BlackIndian3
2BlackIndian3
@2BlackIndian3
11 Years1,000+ PostsCancer

Comments: 368 · Posts: 2669 · Topics: 7
@TachiMichi hey nothing wrong with what you are saying. I think 2 water signs can work if there's good communication & understanding. I wouldn't give up on this pairing just yet. I think a Scorpio Woman would understand me better. I wouldn't mind dating an Earth sign like Capricorn. But I think Scorpio or even Cancer can offer me a great deep love. I respect your opinion tho