Gemini confused over Scorpio

Hi there.....happy new year to everyone

I have this situation with a scorpio man which i will try and be brief. Here goes

We met about a month ago and spend a week together before I left on holidays for two weeks. We saw each other everyday and he talked about his life in great detail and where he was at (divorced a couple of times) Then I went away on holidays and after a couple of days we starting texting and it lead to more texting. He told me that he missed me and eventually told me that he was falling in love with me. He also told me that we were long term. I beleived every word he said. So when I got home from holidays we spent the weekend together, which was really hot and he again told me that he loves me and that he couldnt handle me going away for that long again.

Then something changed, he pulled away and wouldnt answer my texts and wouldnt tell me what was up with him. Over the past few weeks he hasnt told me how he feels about me and he doesnt even talk out our future or if we have one. If I push the issue as I have trust issues with men he pulls away even more.

My question is - why the change in feelings? has he changed his mind? Or was he just feeding me a line of crap?

How should I approach this with him? or should I just walk away? Ignore him? I really like him and have told him that too. He knows how I feel but I have no idea how he is feeling and he never tells me anymore. I dont want to get hurt.

Any help would be great!
Thanks

:O

Well...based on what I've seen in these forums and what I've gone thru personally I'd say leave him alone. If he contacts you respond back.
He probably still likes you, he's just pulling back to think a bit.
Good luck!

Tiffany, he is merely being a typical Scorpio.

They have this flaw, where they require a person to win them over. If a relationship becomes too predictable, they will create drama.

If they have the person, then they will push that person away with an expectation of the person to come win them back .. then once you get them, they push away again.

::: sighs :::

so, the choice is before you ... you can play for attention according to his superficial need for security, or you can bounce. But, you if decide to let go and walk the other way .. he will come back full force to try and win you over.

To have a Scorpio means you have to play this game .. there's no other way.

Tiffany, it's a bit too early to 'define' your future, although from what I gathered there is an understanding you re in a committed relationship. It's been a month and you were away for some time, too.

Don't go into panic mode, he'll come around if he genuinely cares...if you push too hard, you ll be forcing a situation, and the paradox with the scorps is they expect to be chased yet DO NOT enjoy it - they d rather do it themselves, in such a case...

And yes, what P-angel said...that's exactly why you dont want to cement this pattern, where he ll be pulling back forever when things are a bit too rosy from his tastes and you ll go running after him.

It's early - go with the flow, do not get upset...he will come back full force...and then get to know him and make sure you do not rely on pure 'chemistry' alone, then work from there...

Good luck and keep us posted! 🙂

Thanks for the input

I am glad that this is typical scorpio behaviour but it doesnt make it any easier for me and what I should do.

If I walk.....which I would tell him straight out what I am doing. I am sure he would except that, and according to him its one of his fears that I am going to walk away since all th eother women in the past have done that.

So, I guess I should let him contact me and should I ignore for a while or tell him that I need time to think.

Not sure exactly what I am going to do....just putting some thoughts out there.

Why would someone say they love you, if they dont? Can scorps be honest? I thought they were.

Posted by tiffany3624

... and according to him its one of his fears that I am going to walk away since all th eother women in the past have done that.

There you go ... it's just like that.

He gives you the impression that you aren't wanted anylonger, while instilling into you that he has been tramatized in the past about being dumped .... the game is right there ... this way you won't leave him if you care, so intead of doing this when he pushes you away, you will run after him for fear of inflicting upon him what he fears.

Scorpios, Scorpios, Scorpios .... they are their own worst enemies and are quite helpless to do anything about it ... they sting themselves more often than stinging others. And it's not just intimate relationships either ... they are like this with all relations.

Whether you stay or not is up to you .. you just need to be aware of these conditions.

You ask why someone would say the love you if they don't ... and just because he plays with you doesn't mean he doesn't love, Tiffany .. he's a Scorpio, he's a manipulator by nature, I'm sure he does love you if he told you that .. but, that love isn't going to stop from him toying with you, on the Contrary, it's going to make him toy with you moreso.

This seems so complicated.....

So I dont want to be toyed with

How do I stop this behaviour?

I dont like games or anyone playing them. We are in a committed relationship so I dont know why he would be acting like this, besides that he is a good manipulator.

Should I explain how I am feeling to him....will it help or push him away further?

If you don't like the games then run the other way. I hear gems are pretty good at getting over people. When he sees this he'll come running back to you lol

I dont like playing games but I do really like my scorpio.
I doubt he will see this as he never goes on these boards.

I actually do have a hard time getting over someone who I really like or love.

I am still unsure what to do....time will tell I guess.

Its not that scorpio's LIKE playing with people's feelings. We just are so insecure we can't help it. He's trying to see if his insecurity is right or not. I do have to say we enjoy the chase though, if someone's all over me too quickly I get bored. But I've never known a scorp to LIE about their feelings. OTOH, we can fall OUT of love easily also. So yes, he meant it. But that doesn't necessarily mean he still does.

What to do... well, what would get me interested is to be there, but also not.. hmm. Be around when I want you to be. But don't beat down my door or leave a bunch of messages on my phone. Call or text once every couple days to see how I'm doing. It shows interest, but isn't too much, too easy. If you happen to be going out, invite me along.. but don't come out and say "I wanna take you out". When I'm ready for that, I'll ask you. (obviously I'm referring to 'you' as, whoever I'm interested in..)

Needed to add.. we fall OUT of love, if you fail our tests. because we realize you weren't what we thought you were. So, we deceived ourselves into loving you to begin with, because we thought you were something else.

Posted by tiffany3624
I dont like playing games but I do really like my scorpio.
I doubt he will see this as he never goes on these boards.

I actually do have a hard time getting over someone who I really like or love.

I am still unsure what to do....time will tell I guess.

My bad. I guess it was male gems or will forgive and forget easily, or at least pretend to

Thanks for that Skykomish - all you said makes sense to me.

I dont think he loves me...maybe he did though.

I think I am just going to leave him alone...i wont send any more txts etc....and if he txts me I will wait to reply, if I want to. When I do reply it will be one word answers. I will let me chase me....and this will give me sometime to think things over too. Then I will decide if I want to continue with him.

I will have to think about what the best thing to do is. As I fear getting hurt.....and I can see this coming on.

that all sounds good to me.. except the 1 word answers.. THAT would just piss me off. lol Good luck!

So, one more question I have - yesterday I txted him and asked him how his day was going....and that I missed him

He is yet to respond? what does that mean?

Also skykomish one word replies would piss you off? how so, even to end communications?

Well, one word answers would piss me off because I'd think you were trying to play games with me. I see right through that crap. *OR* I would think you were mad at me. That would hurt, which I would respond by acting pissed off lol. So, either way.

To answer your other question.. hm. Reasons I wouldn't reply. Well that would really depend if I liked you or not. If I did like you, I might not reply because I truly never got to it, or because I'm trying to make you wait, so you want me more. If I didn't like you (or only saw you as a friend, or worse- as someone who wanted me TOO much) because I'm trying to make you realize I'm not interested. But really, if I wasn't interested I probably WOULD answer, but with something short that leads to the end of the conversation. Heh. One word answers.

..but please realize I'm a female Scorsagian (more on Scorp than Sagg, but still with both). I hope my advice is helpful but I'm not the Bible or anything lol.

Thanks again for your information.

Who the hec knows whats going thru his head....I will never know, but we are suppose to be in a committed relationship and if this is his idea of that.....I will move on.

Thanks again for your input

I guess the only other thing I could say is that a lot of Geminis like me, and they come on too strong. Turns me off. I was in a committed relationship with a Gemini once, he got too clingy, scared me off. So, if that helps at all. You Gems seem to love me lol.

Wait... what? How is that playing games? Gah. I don't try to be mean or play with people's feelings!! 😢 *hides in a corner and sulks*

skykomish - Thanks for that....but it was him that came on really strong in the beginning and I was a little scared. It seems maybe the tables have turned.
Still seems to be too many unanswered questions and things have changed alot in a few weeks which leaves me confused. Maybe he wants out and doesnt know how to do it or hurt my feelings.

I think he is too much work as well......dont want to be walking around on egg shells worrying about what I should say or shouldnt.

Go forbeit that he would come on this board and read this stuff.....I would be toast in a second for sure. lol

Hahahahahaha ok sorry. I came on WAY strong to my Gemini also. I pretty much walked into his work and picked up his artwork and said "Who drew this? I want to talk to them, NOW." He was shy about it, and I practically walked into the back of the store to see if anyone else was there. At which point he admitted he drew it. And then I was like, "So when do you get off? You're coming with me."

But then when I had really hooked him, he got clingy. I need my space too! So.. yeah. I can see why we're so confusing. To me, it sounds like he likes you, but needs a little space. Respect that he needs alone time too, give it to him, and he'll come back.

And OSF, Seriously! Pls tell me. *puppy dog eyes*

lol...lol

Ok what does OSF mean?

I do think you are right in him needing space...which I am fine with as I do need my space too. He has opened up to me alot and told me alot of personal stuff....which is a good sign.

My biggest problem was why the change in things. For example he phoned me while I was on holidays and said He was falling in love with me....and then told me atleast 8 times a day that he loves me. I said we you love me this much when I get home? He said yes and even more. Well I have heard those 3 little words twice since home.

Maybe I read too much into things but all the stuff he said to me while away he hasnt in the past two weeks and it seems like things have changed and I dont know why.

Maybe he needs time to think? maybe he is dating someone else too? Maybe he just wants sex? Who the hec knows! lol as he avoids questions about us, and gets angry when I ask

Nope, its stereotypical Scorpio behavior. We'll tell you how we feel, then back off and watch your reaction. Then the tests start. If you pass, you got us, for keeps. If you fail, we realize we didn't love you after all, but thought we did. What would *I* want? I would expect my man to be a gentleman, to do things for me, to want to be with me, but to still have his own life and not become a clingy burden to me. Most men, at this point, will let their guard down, and stop being so gentlemanly. Which is #1 way to make me run the other way. OR they will want to be with me night and day, and let their friends go, their hobbies etc. Which will drive me away even faster! If he calls, texts, wants to do something, go do it, IF you don't have other plans. But KEEP your other plans too! Don't make your life revolve around him. "Yeah, I'd like to be with you, but I have other things I like to do also" is a big turn on. BUT at the same time, don't go out with other guys!! Just go be with your girlfriends. Personally, I would still appreciate the occasional check in, but not every single day! Every couple days, call or text. Set up something fun to do when you do. Dont just be like 'how are you.' Be 'I'm going to see this movie, I'd love if you joined me'. (But point is, you're going either way, because you have a life)

oh and OSF = oldskoolflavor. The guy makin' fun of me 😉

All of that makes sense....and yes I do all of that as well. But do I always have to make the plans to do something?

Will give this a try and see what happens....Do you think I have passed all his tests? What kinds of tests are they? How long is the testing period. One would think that if I havent passed his tests then he would call it quits....right?

No you don't always have to be the one to make the plans. But a few days/weeks of this, should have him chasing you again. I know I would be lol. I don't know if you have or haven't, but yes if you failed, he'd be done with you. It does depend on how serious of a test though also. How long of a testing period? LoL I've never had anyone pass. I guess I don't know when I'd be done. And what kinds of tests? Well, I'm not entirely sure, but Scorpio's want someone who is loyal, loves them, but is independent and has a backbone. Things I've done..? I'll see how much I can get away with.. how much I can ask you to do before you stand up to me. There should be some give and take, but it shouldn't be you all giving. I *WANT* you to set a limit. I might take my man out into a hooters bar or something, to see how loyal he is. I might invite his ex over for dinner, again, to see how loyal he is & how much he loves me. He damn well better be paying 100% attention to ME the whole time, in BOTH scenarios. I might get him drunk and do these same things. A lot of the 'tests' aren't something we ask you to do, but just seeing if you change when you get comfortable. Stay what you have always been, don't get lax.

Question if he is going to call it quits with me....will he tell me face to face or just disappear?

*I* would tell you. I would ask for a male scorpion's opinion on that question also though.

I don't understand why you felt a need to discredit everything I said. I was only trying to help, and only said what I would do, personally, not what HE would do.

Posted by bluemoon2
he is not responsible for the pain you went through. You need to let it go. If you have a weak or faint heart, don't go for him. You must have the heart of someone like Rocky Balboa. Good luck. 🙂

Agree 100%
From personal experience I had my own trouble with a weak heart because I still had issues with a past ex and though my relationship at the time lasted a long time it was strained and ended with my ex (now) very hurt. I made sure I was totally over my ex (now) to get into another relationship which took me 3 years. It probably won't take you that long, but you need to be strong in the heart and okay with who you are so that you can remain yourself through all these tests.

I also wish you good luck 🙂 You're gonna need it with this scorpio ;P

update****

So, I went over to my scorpio's house to talk a couple of nights back. We talked and he told me that when ever he spends time at my house .....he runs...he gets scared, because he use to have what I have now...meaning he use to live in a nice new place etc...now lives in a what he calls a dumpy apartment. I of course couldnt understand any of this. But tried and took it at face value.

He also told me that he has a hard time trusting...so not sure if he trusts me yet. How do I get him to trust more?

In conclusion he said that he doesnt want to end what we have and would like to continue but slow it down a bit including the texting. I agreed to that. So in the last couple of days we have texted like once. no plans to meet up or spend time together.

We did end up in bed that night and sex was very different really closed off and I usually spend the night with him and when I asked he said I think you should go home cause I have to get up at 6am (that never stopped him before).But he left it up to me....I left.

Anyway, I am still confused and have been thinking all about this for the last couple of days...mainly do I want to end this, because I feel I may get hurt and the longer we drag this on....the more I will get hurt.

Is he just thinking I will fade away? or should I just give this sometime for him to miss me. I dont think me playing hard to get is going to work again. But maybe a scorpio can tell me this
Not sure what to do now.......

I would love to hear sound advice from a scorpio for once about scorpio and other signs for once.

We do interact in the world, and not in some vacuum, life happens, it doesn't boil down to, you gotta do it by a Scorpion's rule book or else.

I value what bluemoon2 posts throughout the boards because it isn't some snappy whack on the nose, it is with a sense of how things play out, work well, don't work well, I can't describe it.

I only wanted to remark on what was said like it very well might be:

Posted by bluemoon2
Here is the best advice anyone is going to give you. It's honest.

1. Do not listen to these Scorpios.
2. Do not try to get inside the head of a Scorpio. You're already headed in the wrong direction.

Now that we got those things cleared away....

You should not change or modify yourself. You will lose your own self by doing that.

My only thoughts on my Scorpio interaction of late: dear life, I was more than just fine, it seemed to be a great match, why do I go away with a consolation prize of "yeah I guess I should have prejudged someone who I didn't want to belittle or think less of, and still don't, so I will just be left pondering, yay life" ... a bit crass and selfish statement but I am allowed to be flip about this at times haha

Scorpios just get scared. He probably got feelings for you really quickly but then his own feelings scared him. At that point, he has a choice. Back off, keep the walls up, move really slowly, OR throw caution to the wind and go for it. Most scorpion's won't do the latter, its just too scary. I might, but I'm half Sag. And it would kind of depend on what my man did, how safe I felt. *shrug* You didn't do anything wrong. Its up to you if you still want to pursue it or not, but know that he does care, and that very fact is why he backed away.

Wanted to add. I'm sorry we're so bloody confusing. Because we are both extremes at the same time. Its this combination of being afraid of our own feelings, but also easily bored. I'm not trying to tell you to stay or go, but anyway hang in there, it'll be alright. *hugs*

Awe...thanks for those encouraging words.

So, with him backing away...should I just give him his space and he will come around?

Should I play a little hard to get? will that help?

I really like this guy and I do hope it works out for the best. I just have major doubts about him and if he is able to communicate. When we are together (most times) its great but as soon as we are apart thats when I think its over and of course I go into protection mode.

So, you you think he will come back in full force after he has thought about things? or will he continue to take things really slow? How long does this last for?

How am I suppose to read the last post if its hidden?

Tiffany, no disrespect, but it sounds to me like he got you to basically agree to expect nothing from him, forget about everything you need/want and just give him what he wants, when he wants it. I dunno...sounds like he just successfully turned your relationship into a FWB type of thing.

I actually bought that topic up (FWB thing) He didnt know what it meant and had never heard of that phase.

If this is the case (which I thought about it) I am done with him!

Thanks for your advice

Actually he was telling me that he loved me after we had sex when I was on holidays 5,000 miles away. I was a little taken back by this as it was so soon to be telling me thsi stuff. Since I have been back he doesnt express those feelings anymore. Confuses the hec out of me still, and makes me not trust his words

The whole thing doesnt make sense to me at all...when I asked him why he said all ht ethings he did while I was away...he said it was because I was at a distance and I guess felt safe.

I think he is messed up and not sure if repairable or not

I think you could be right on that he spoke too soon.

I am just going to leave it for now, which is usually hard for a gemini to do...we dont have a lot of patience and want answers like yesterday. When we talked, I didnt agree to all his wants/needs we both did the give and take thing. This relationship seems like its going to be a lot of work....have to figure out if he is worth it or not. Will need to think more about things. So I will need my space to do that.

His actions will speak louder than his words.

Posted by QuietSt0rm
It's possible. I've been impulsive in the past and moved quickly in relationships and said that I was in love before I actually was. Then back tracked when I realized it was only infatuation.

I don't think it's too far gone, but I would suggest slowing it down. Relationships need a solid foundation to be built on... not a fly-by-night sort of thing. You both will be insecure in that case. Just give it time to let his feelings catch up with his words, because I'm assuming he just spoke too soon.

Think this is very similar to what I was trying to say.

Oh, no worries. I think I came across a bit confusing. Reiterating is a good thing, in case I confused anyone.

Just to let you guys know....havent heard from Mr. Scorpio in days and even when I texted him this morning he was very cold and short....
So...I ended it and I feel much better...and he hasnt responded to me yet, and probably wont.

Thank you for all your help....I will never trust another scorpio male

You shouldn't trust anyone in general.

Posted by Eris
You shouldn't trust anyone in general.

so true you gotta know yourself before u can know others.

Be strong girly 🙂. There are other men out there, just waiting to be with someone like you. Scorpios are a pain in the ass 😉.

...but if he was really just scared of his own feelings.. you just confirmed that fear. Not to guilt trip you or anything, you did what was right for you. Just trying to explain the way scorpio brains work.

Well you are right I had to do it for myself and I am a strong gal...so life moves on

Scorpios actions were speaking louder than his words....and to be that is not being honest with the so called relationship that we had. He always avoided questions about us (not that I asked that much).

In my text (not my choice of the way to do things) I said Good-bye and I felt that I was used for sex and led on...how sad. I havent heard a thing from him and I still have some of his stuff at my place. Not sure if I will heard from him again.

I wish I knew what was going on in the scorpio mind or how they operate.