Help!

I have been seeing a Scorpio for a month now. We started talking one night at a party where I guess he slept with someone else and felt bad so he didn't speak to me. We met up again and exchanged phone numbers and started talking and hanging out. We spent almost everyday together and act like horny teenagers. we stayed up all night one night talking he told me he likes me and he stared at me so much even while I was half asleep and he told me about the girl and how he wants to get tested before we have sex. He said he felt a strong bond and connection with me even though we haven't had sex. He came over for dinner the next night and then he quit talking to me. He said he was taking a chance he is just busy. Then I invited him to a movie and he ignored me which made me mad and I accused him of being on a bender. He didn't respond even after my apology. Then I found out the girl he slept with was in town and I texted him and said his hat will be in my milk box and still nothing. I saw the girl out and she glared at me and watched me all night. I texted him the next day to tell him how I felt and he said "I'm sorry too i just got scared like I always do and honestly Ive been way to busy and overwhelmed to give you the time and attention you deserve so I made a dumb decision to not give you any which was the wrong way to handle it i would love to do the things we talked about as well I just need a little time to straighten out my own life otherwise I'm just gonna let you down like I already have which believe it or not is not my intention". I replied with I understand and am still holding him to a hockey game in a few months. And I hope it's sooner rather than later because my feelings are real. He said nothing. Last night I texted him after I saw his hat and missed him I said I hope you are doing well. Would you like me to hold onto your hat or give it to your sister. He said nothing yet he is on Facebook and it popped up that he has new friends that are girls. I am lost. I know I am being dumb but I really felt something with him that I hve never felt even the first time we hung out we had sparks. Please help me.

Forget the hat. Move on. You'll have more sparks.

Posted by Aquarius12
...he said "I'm sorry too i just got scared like I always do and honestly Ive been way to busy and overwhelmed to give you the time and attention you deserve so I made a dumb decision to not give you any which was the wrong way to handle it i would love to do the things we talked about as well I just need a little time to straighten out my own life otherwise I'm just gonna let you down like I already have which believe it or not is not my intention"....

I am lost.

Hmph. Understatement.

The man has expressed that he can not give you the time/attention/focus you deserve. His action following that statement (e.g. silent treatment) confirms as much. He seems to be placing more value on your time and affection than you are currently doing.

Listen to him and distance yourself until he steps up. Don't play games, simply give him the amount of energy and mental space he is deserving of at this point and time.

Posted by DMV
Forget the hat. Move on. You'll have more sparks.

Right? Reminds me of when I was graduating from middle school and swore to God and all that was holy I would love my crush for ever because he gave me a few butterflies.

Lawd, I forgot that boy after my first week of high school.

If it's a Scorpio things, there are many more. February seems to be a popular month for conceiving babies.

Thanks. I feel so dumb. I just hear about him all of the time so that just doesn't make it easy on me. He is a good guy I've heard he hasn't drank in a week and a half. Do I go out with a guy who asked me out even though he will hear about it?

Posted by Aquarius12
Thanks. I feel so dumb. I just hear about him all of the time so that just doesn't make it easy on me. He is a good guy I've heard he hasn't drank in a week and a half. Do I go out with a guy who asked me out even though he will hear about it?

Yes. Go out and have fun..sleep with him if you must.

He's not just playing some sort of Scorpio mind game?

Ugh I want to see him and see how he acts. I want to be there for him he really opened up to me. He really did make me believe him.

Posted by Aquarius12
Thanks. I feel so dumb. I just hear about him all of the time so that just doesn't make it easy on me. He is a good guy I've heard he hasn't drank in a week and a half. Do I go out with a guy who asked me out even though he will hear about it?

Does your left hand have a ring on it?

Go enjoy your life and have fun*! Scorps always go after what they want. If he wants you, he'll step up.

Also don't feel dumb. We poke fun around here. Honesty delivered with sarcasm is the Scorpio way.

*DO NOT go on the date simply to make the Scorp jealous.

Posted by Aquarius12
Thanks. I feel so dumb. I just hear about him all of the time so that just doesn't make it easy on me. He is a good guy I've heard he hasn't drank in a week and a half. Do I go out with a guy who asked me out even though he will hear about it?

If you like this guy, I say go out with him.

If the Scorpio gets upset it's his own fault. He can't be angry with you when he's the one who was going back and forth with you. To me, his excuses that he gave you were not completely genuine. It sounds like he is playing the field and as of right now, you're an option. Don't allow yourself to be treated like that. If you're an option to him...he should be an option to you. Don't miss an opportunity to go out with someone who IS giving you attention for someone who can't make up their mind.

The only genuine thing he said was that he doesn't think he's treating you right. That's the most accurate statement he made. Everything else sounded to me like he wanted to make it sound pretty so you hold on just a little bit (kind of like you are), so in the future if someone else doesn't work out for him...he can fall back on you.

It may not be the way he's thinking at all, but that's how I perceive it. Let him figure himself out like he wants to, but don't delay your own life to wait for him. He may not even be worth it. I vote for the other guy who actually is acknowledging you. You DESERVE to be acknowledged...not ignored until you're "convenient".

Posted by Aquarius12
He's not just playing some sort of Scorpio mind game?

Ugh I want to see him and see how he acts. I want to be there for him he really opened up to me. He really did make me believe him.

Now..things have changed. He's changed his mind.

He values you more than you do.

Hey youre right. This is a scorpio mind trick.

Dont date anyone

In fact dont leave the house

Hes watching your every movement

Leave the house ina disguise if you must

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by Aquarius12
Thanks. I feel so dumb. I just hear about him all of the time so that just doesn't make it easy on me. He is a good guy I've heard he hasn't drank in a week and a half. Do I go out with a guy who asked me out even though he will hear about it?

If you like this guy, I say go out with him.

If the Scorpio gets upset it's his own fault. He can't be angry with you when he's the one who was going back and forth with you. To me, his excuses that he gave you were not completely genuine. It sounds like he is playing the field and as of right now, you're an option. Don't allow yourself to be treated like that. If you're an option to him...he should be an option to you. Don't miss an opportunity to go out with someone who IS giving you attention for someone who can't make up their mind.

The only genuine thing he said was that he doesn't think he's treating you right. That's the most accurate statement he made. Everything else sounded to me like he wanted to make it sound pretty so you hold on just a little bit (kind of like you are), so in the future if someone else doesn't work out for him...he can fall back on you.

It may not be the way he's thinking at all, but that's how I perceive it. Let him figure himself out like he wants to, but don't delay your own life to wait for him. He may not even be worth it. I vote for the other guy who actually is acknowledging you. You DESERVE to be acknowledged...not ignored until you're "convenient".

click to expand

Dating out of convience. What a slap in the face.

That's actually a very good thing for him...

Posted by DMV

Posted by Aquarius12
He's not just playing some sort of Scorpio mind game?

Ugh I want to see him and see how he acts. I want to be there for him he really opened up to me. He really did make me believe him.

Now..things have changed. He's changed his mind.

He values you more than you do.

Hey youre right. This is a scorpio mind trick.

Dont date anyone

In fact dont leave the house

Hes watching your every movement

Leave the house ina disguise if you must

click to expand

I read something a while ago about mind games and testing people.

Posted by Aquarius12
Ugh I want to see him and see how he acts.

Hmph *sips tea*.....

Posted by PhoenixRising
*DO NOT go on the date simply to make the Scorp jealous.

As for this:

Posted by Aquarius12
He's not just playing some sort of Scorpio mind game?

To what end? "I'm pushing you away to see what you'll do"? First, if that is his objective why you're even enetertaing that nonsense is beyond me. Life's too short for bullsh*t. Unless there is info you're leaving out, I would take what he's saying at face value.

Posted by Aquarius12
I want to be there for him he really opened up to me. He really did make me believe him.

click to expand

Refer to my initial post. I'm not sure what "believe him" means exactly, but if it's what I think it is...he may have been sincere but realized be just couldn't deliver. It can happen. However his actions mean more than whatever he said. At this stage this man is offering you less than friendship---at least that's not how I treat a friend, yet you want to be there to offering his an ear and gentle breast to lay his troubled head between (/sarcasm for now).

Provide what is being offered. Nothing wrong with being there for him, but don't bend over backwards to "be there for him" (eg put your life on hold, forsake other potential suitors, drop everything at his whim). That won't earn his respect and in most cases respect trumps any level of affection you give a Scorp.

Posted by Aquarius12
That's actually a very good thing for him...

I'd put some distance there until he gets himself sorted.

I am just hurt going from so much to nothing. Feeling as though I did something to be ignored and led on when I am just being honest and I put myself out there for someone who i believed and trusted with my secrets as well as letting him share his.

Posted by Aquarius12

Posted by DMV

Posted by Aquarius12
He's not just playing some sort of Scorpio mind game?

Ugh I want to see him and see how he acts. I want to be there for him he really opened up to me. He really did make me believe him.

Now..things have changed. He's changed his mind.

He values you more than you do.

Hey youre right. This is a scorpio mind trick.

Dont date anyone

In fact dont leave the house

Hes watching your every movement

Leave the house ina disguise if you must

I read something a while ago about mind games and testing people.

click to expand

Dont believe the hype.

Idk but if a man told me he wouldnt give me the time i deserved, id believe him.

Posted by Aquarius12
I am just hurt going from so much to nothing. Feeling as though I did something to be ignored and led on when I am just being honest and I put myself out there for someone who i believed and trusted with my secrets as well as letting him share his.

You did not get led on. Quite the opposite.

He liked you but then changed his mind and told you that things had changed. Thats more than most people get.

Love and relationship is a risk. Youre going to have to put yourself out there if you want to get caught. Sometimes it will end up in flames or a nice goodbye text. Other times it will be successful.

Youre going to have to keep putting yourself out there.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Aquarius12
That's actually a very good thing for him...

I'd put some distance there until he gets himself sorted.

click to expand

Hmmmm im worried. Is he on drugs or something? Or just a drinking problems?

Cause a week and a half isnt much time. Not to minimize his progress at all.

Posted by DMV

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Aquarius12
That's actually a very good thing for him...

I'd put some distance there until he gets himself sorted.

Hmmmm im worried. Is he on drugs or something? Or just a drinking problems?

Cause a week and a half isnt much time. Not to minimize his progress at all.

click to expand

Yes he does sometimes if they are there and then does go on a bender for a night and feels shitty the next day. he's been distancing himself from those people.

Posted by DMV

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Aquarius12
That's actually a very good thing for him...

I'd put some distance there until he gets himself sorted.

Hmmmm im worried. Is he on drugs or something? Or just a drinking problems?

Cause a week and a half isnt much time. Not to minimize his progress at all.

click to expand

Length of time mean very little too me. I've heard more than enough warning signs to put this guy on my "yeah, I think I know that guy. We hung out a few times" list. He'd be forgotten already. Connection or no connection. I do respect that the OP is very different than I am though and it may be harder for her, so my advice comes from that perspective.

Posted by Aquarius12

Posted by DMV

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Aquarius12
That's actually a very good thing for him...

I'd put some distance there until he gets himself sorted.

Hmmmm im worried. Is he on drugs or something? Or just a drinking problems?

Cause a week and a half isnt much time. Not to minimize his progress at all.

Yes he does sometimes if they are there and then does go on a bender for a night and feels shitty the next day. he's been distancing himself from those people.

click to expand

He is going to need tons of time to sort himself.

Idk dont try to save him. Youre not a professional

Posted by Aquarius12
I am just hurt going from so much to nothing. Feeling as though I did something to be ignored and led on when I am just being honest and I put myself out there for someone who i believed and trusted with my secrets as well as letting him share his.

So much? It's been a month. You'll be fine. Trust.

As for putting yourself out there, that's okay. Opening up and being vulnerable is not something to regret. It also doesn't guarantee a favourable outcome. It simply a process of being with others.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Aquarius12
I am just hurt going from so much to nothing. Feeling as though I did something to be ignored and led on when I am just being honest and I put myself out there for someone who i believed and trusted with my secrets as well as letting him share his.

So much? It's been a month. You'll be fine. Trust.

As for putting yourself out there, that's okay. Opening up and being vulnerable is not something to regret. It also doesn't guarantee a favourable outcome. It simply a process of being with others.

click to expand

Sorry I fell hard for this one.

I am not someone who can't not say how they feel and I'm lost when someone says and acts a certain way and then just vanishes. Is this something I can say "ignoring me fun as usual and an excellent way to push me away. I'm glad you are sorting out your life but I didn't take that as a way to be rude to someone who put themselves out there and listened to your speech about being scared."

I really feel you on this. Reading what everyone has said made me open my eyes to just leave my scorp alone. I've been in touch with him for around 11 years total. In September, it will be an official year of actually initiating getting to know each other. Like you, I fell for him hard. I wasn't easy at first. He pulled the friends card but I'm starting to think he's stringing me along by labeling us "friends" after all we've been through. I feel he manipulated and lied to me. Bravo for hurting me more than ever when I've always protected myself from it and really am one of the most genuine girls ever. It's going to hurt girl but just leave him alone. He'll come back if and when he wants you.

Posted by Aquarius12
I am not someone who can't not say how they feel and I'm lost when someone says and acts a certain way and then just vanishes. Is this something I can say "ignoring me fun as usual and an excellent way to push me away. I'm glad you are sorting out your life but I didn't take that as a way to be rude to someone who put themselves out there and listened to your speech about being scared."

Its not a good idea to.contact him.

Since you will anyway, go for it. What do hope to accomplish?

Posted by DMV

Posted by Aquarius12
I am not someone who can't not say how they feel and I'm lost when someone says and acts a certain way and then just vanishes. Is this something I can say "ignoring me fun as usual and an excellent way to push me away. I'm glad you are sorting out your life but I didn't take that as a way to be rude to someone who put themselves out there and listened to your speech about being scared."

Its not a good idea to.contact him.

Since you will anyway, go for it. What do hope to accomplish?

click to expand

Nothing except express myself which I already have done. I won't say anything.

OP said: " He came over for dinner the next night and then he quit talking to me."

What exactly happened on this "last supper"?

I can understand that you have fallen for him hard, but can´t believe you texted him soo much.... you are an Aqua, do you have some heavy water planets? maybe even a scorpio? I cannot explain your constant texting him otherwise....

leave him alone, go out with your friends and dont date, until you are ready, its not fair to the other guys

avoid him and information about him if necessary and avoid places where you can hear about him, it will fuel your hurting.....

just be with your friends..... dont go out now with other guys... it would make him jealous, yes, and he may react to this, but you will regret it

Posted by Pandora101
OP said: " He came over for dinner the next night and then he quit talking to me."

What exactly happened on this "last supper"?

I can understand that you have fallen for him hard, but can´t believe you texted him soo much.... you are an Aqua, do you have some heavy water planets? maybe even a scorpio? I cannot explain your constant texting him otherwise....

leave him alone, go out with your friends and dont date, until you are ready, its not fair to the other guys

avoid him and information about him if necessary and avoid places where you can hear about him, it will fuel your hurting.....

just be with your friends..... dont go out now with other guys... it would make him jealous, yes, and he may react to this, but you will regret it

Heavy water plants? I don't know that term. We hung out watched a movie made dinner. Talked he acted like he normally did. I invited him to a dinner with my family to be nice and told him no pressure and that I knew it was much but thought I would ask since he had asked me 3 times what I was doing the next night and I gave the same response them finally invited him. He said he would let me know. He never did. That was probably the deal breaker even though he said he wanted to go.

Posted by Aquarius12
I am not someone who can't not say how they feel and I'm lost when someone says and acts a certain way and then just vanishes. Is this something I can say "ignoring me fun as usual and an excellent way to push me away. I'm glad you are sorting out your life but I didn't take that as a way to be rude to someone who put themselves out there and listened to your speech about being scared."

I may not be the best person to answer this because I have a different take on this whole thing, but I get it you're fixed and you'll need to have the last word.

What I will say is given he hasn't responded to your past messages, he may not respond to this. So, if your goal is to get a response (which I am sensing it is), save the energy to text the new guy when he should pick you up.

I personally don't respond to emotional text, but the Scorp men may say differently. You'll just get blocked if you send me that. I don't like manipulative maneuvers. Your best approach is to not send anything (I mean you sent two messages already) and when/if you see him be clear and honest about what you're feeling. Also be clear about where you stand.

Posted by DMV

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Aquarius12
That's actually a very good thing for him...

I'd put some distance there until he gets himself sorted.

Hmmmm im worried. Is he on drugs or something? Or just a drinking problems?

Cause a week and a half isnt much time. Not to minimize his progress at all.

click to expand

Right? For all we and OP know, the only reason he hasn't done drugs for the past week and a half is because he only gets paid every 2.

I say give it a full period cycle before calling it progress.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Aquarius12
I am not someone who can't not say how they feel and I'm lost when someone says and acts a certain way and then just vanishes. Is this something I can say "ignoring me fun as usual and an excellent way to push me away. I'm glad you are sorting out your life but I didn't take that as a way to be rude to someone who put themselves out there and listened to your speech about being scared."

I may not be the best person to answer this because I have a different take on this whole thing, but I get it you're fixed and you'll need to have the last word.

What I will say is given he hasn't responded to your past messages, he may not respond to this. So, if your goal is to get a response (which I am sensing it is), save the energy to text the new guy when he should pick you up.

I personally don't respond to emotional text, but the Scorp men may say differently. You'll just get blocked if you send me that. I don't like manipulative maneuvers. Your best approach is to not send anything (I mean you sent two messages already) and when/if you see him be clear and honest about what you're feeling. Also be clear about where you stand.

click to expand

I won't say anything more to him. I misspoke in my OP this has been going on for a few months it just got more involved in the last month and then more so two weeks ago. I put in the effort he was putting in. He even invited me on a family vacation that isn't until February.

Maybe it was all the drugs I don't know. I wasn't aware of how bad it was until yesterday.

Would it be a slap in the face if I give his hat to his sister?

Posted by Aquarius12

Posted by Pandora101
OP said: " He came over for dinner the next night and then he quit talking to me."

What exactly happened on this "last supper"?

I can understand that you have fallen for him hard, but can´t believe you texted him soo much.... you are an Aqua, do you have some heavy water planets? maybe even a scorpio? I cannot explain your constant texting him otherwise....

leave him alone, go out with your friends and dont date, until you are ready, its not fair to the other guys

avoid him and information about him if necessary and avoid places where you can hear about him, it will fuel your hurting.....

just be with your friends..... dont go out now with other guys... it would make him jealous, yes, and he may react to this, but you will regret it

Heavy water plants? I don't know that term. We hung out watched a movie made dinner. Talked he acted like he normally did. I invited him to a dinner with my family to be nice and told him no pressure and that I knew it was much but thought I would ask since he had asked me 3 times what I was doing the next night and I gave the same response them finally invited him. He said he would let me know. He never did. That was probably the deal breaker even though he said he wanted to go.

click to expand

water planets - I ment what are your other planets, besides of sun sign? your moon, mars, venus? and his?

you can find out this on cafeastrology - moon signs rule emotions, find out

I wouldnt give his hat to his sister, I would do nothing, just leave him alone for now

water planets - I ment what are your other planets, besides of sun sign? your moon, mars, venus? and his?

you can find out this on cafeastrology - moon signs rule emotions, find out

I wouldnt give his hat to his sister, I would do nothing, just leave him alone for now





My planets are saturn and Uranus

His are Mars and Pluto

Posted by brandyp

Posted by Aquarius12
water planets - I ment what are your other planets, besides of sun sign? your moon, mars, venus? and his?

you can find out this on cafeastrology - moon signs rule emotions, find out

I wouldnt give his hat to his sister, I would do nothing, just leave him alone for now

My planets are saturn and Uranus

His are Mars and Pluto

Lol- ur so cutee





Was that wrong? Ugh!

Posted by Aquarius12

Posted by brandyp

Posted by Aquarius12
water planets - I ment what are your other planets, besides of sun sign? your moon, mars, venus? and his?

you can find out this on cafeastrology - moon signs rule emotions, find out

I wouldnt give his hat to his sister, I would do nothing, just leave him alone for now

My planets are saturn and Uranus

His are Mars and Pluto

Lol- ur so cutee

Was that wrong? Ugh!





you are kidding, right? 🙂 🙂

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by Aquarius12

Posted by brandyp

Posted by Aquarius12
water planets - I ment what are your other planets, besides of sun sign? your moon, mars, venus? and his?

you can find out this on cafeastrology - moon signs rule emotions, find out

I wouldnt give his hat to his sister, I would do nothing, just leave him alone for now

My planets are saturn and Uranus

His are Mars and Pluto

Lol- ur so cutee

Was that wrong? Ugh!

you are kidding, right? 🙂 🙂





I wish I was... I don't know anything about astrology that's how I ended up here..

Posted by Aquarius12
I won't say anything more to him. I misspoke in my OP this has been going on for a few months it just got more involved in the last month and then more so two weeks ago. I put in the effort he was putting in. He even invited me on a family vacation that isn't until February.

Maybe it was all the drugs I don't know. I wasn't aware of how bad it was until yesterday.

Would it be a slap in the face if I give his hat to his sister?

Well all of that is new info, but it still doesn't change my position. It only helps me understand your feelings a bit more. Sorry, you're hurting so much.

As for the hat, why do I feel like you're trying to get a reaction from him? Just a warning, if you poke a Scorp be careful what you wish for.

The man couldn't care less about the hat or he would have made sure he took it before ghosting you. If he wanted it, he'd ask for it. Stop trying to find reasons to gain space in his head. If you're in his head because he put you there, you won't have to lift a finger. The seed will grow.

If you want to be nice, send one message telling him he has 7 days to get the hat or it's going in the garbage---oh wait you already told him to come get his hat and he didn't respond remember?

I guess alternatively you could keep it hoping he'll use that as an excuse to reach out and have a story to tell later..."the hat that brough is together". 😛

Throw the hat away already.

Step away from the scorpio guy!!

Posted by aquanib

Posted by Aquarius12
He is a good guy I've heard he hasn't drank in a week and a half.

I lol'd. Them standards.

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😆