How do you retract your stinger?

Hey fellow stingers! I find myself faced with an issue that's contradictory to our nature... how do you remove your stinger from someone who has wronged you? How to you release your pincers and let go?

Someone close to me, someone I let closer than most, betrayed my trust. I tried to be okay with it. I tried to rationalize it. I put myself in their shoes, and I understand why they did what they did. I've let them say their piece. I've tried to carry on with them like nothing happened. They've sufferer my wrath, and they ve tried to make it up to me...but I'm having huge trouble to get over it. I'd like to think this friendship is worth saving.

At the same time, even though I don't like the idea of holding grudges and I kid myself that we scorps don't do that... I feel like trying to remove my stinger is like denying who I am. Like the bee that dies after they sting someone.

So... What have your done to forgive and forget the people who have wronged / hurt you deeply?

Thank you. I feel this is something I can forgive with time, so... I'll put more effort into it.

Scorpio Sun /moon here ...its really hard for me to let go.The more I tell myself I should the harder it gets,but I try to tell myself I'm better than that ,cos bearing grudges is not healthy..but I don't think I truly ever forget even when I forgive.Its who I am,don't beat yourself up if u can't let go immediately but try.

Scorpio Sun /moon here ...its really hard for me to let go.The more I tell myself I should the harder it gets,but I try to tell myself I'm better than that ,cos bearing grudges is not healthy..but I don't think I truly ever forget even when I forgive.Its who I am,don't beat yourself up if u can't let go immediately but try.

Posted by Venomouse
Hey fellow stingers! I find myself faced with an issue that's contradictory to our nature... how do you remove your stinger from someone who has wronged you? How to you release your pincers and let go?

Perhaps use your stinger more wisely? Meaning, you don't have to use it just because it's there. Not every slight requires a reaction from you. At least not for me. When I have used it, it was only be because I had no plans of keeping that person around. I mean would you want to be around someone that intentionally hurt you?

Posted by Venomouse
Someone close to me, someone I let closer than most, betrayed my trust. I tried to be okay with it. I tried to rationalize it. I put myself in their shoes, and I understand why they did what they did. I've let them say their piece. I've tried to carry on with them like nothing happened. They've sufferer my wrath, and they ve tried to make it up to me...but I'm having huge trouble to get over it. I'd like to think this friendship is worth saving.

That might be your problem. There's nothing wrong with trying the keep the friendship, but it sounds like you forced yourself to work through your feelings vs just letting them naturally resolve. The mere fact that you still have an issue means you weren't ready to resume the friendship. Relationships aren't meant to be rushed through. It's a process. If the person doesn't give you the time needed (or you don't allow yourself to time needed) to work through it completely then it will continue to come up.

Posted by Venomouse
... At the same time, even though I don't like the idea of holding grudges and I kid myself that we scorps don't do that...

I'm curious about how you define "grudge" and why you think all Scorps do this.

Posted by Venomouse
So... What have your done to forgive and forget the people who have wronged / hurt you deeply?

click to expand

I simply forgive once I've worked through my feelings. If I haven't, I keep processing them until I do. It's a little tricky and probably takes a lot longer than some because I tend to intellectualize vs actually feeling my emotions. As for the rest of your question, I never forget. That makes no sense to forget what someone did. Hurt is meant to teach you something, either about the situation (e.g. watch out for danger as to avoid it again) or about yourself (e.g. things you need to work on personally). If you forget you're bound to keep making the same mistakes.

Forgiving someone does not mean I have to maintain the relationship though.

Posted by Koniucha
Once I'm done with someone, I'm done for good. I have yet to allow someone back.

I had the Cancer guy trying to talk to me here recently, but I just ignored him. Trying to flirt with me while in a relationship.

No

Posted by Koniucha

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Koniucha
Once I'm done with someone, I'm done for good. I have yet to allow someone back.

I had the Cancer guy trying to talk to me here recently, but I just ignored him. Trying to flirt with me while in a relationship.

No

Is this good or bad? Can't tell lol

click to expand

Lol. Neither, just a "say whaaaaaa?" reaction.

Either let them or the anger go. If neither are productive they go. At the same time it depends on the situation and what was done. If it is something stupid done by someone I let it go realizing that they need to grow before we interact again. If it's a loved one then...well it can vary as well.

They say pisces smooth scorpio rough edges 😉

Choose your battles really. When I was alot younger my stinger would come out over everything! Lol

I think as we get older we learn to tame that stinger.

Ive noticed if something bugs us, we really can't let it go. Not until its resolved.

I once had a real close friend who betrayed me BIG TIME. I "forgave" her but as a result, I never allowed my guards to drop within that friendship....so basically I never truely forgave anything. The stinger eventually came out, it was horrid for the both of us.

Ive realized the stinger comes out when I don't plan on keeping that person around. When I feel its not healthy keeping that person around.