How long can a scorpio stay away or ice you out? (Page 3)

Posted by StarChild63
I didn't read this long thread except last 2 pages. You are just as screwed up as he is. Not responding to soneone on purpose is childish and abusive. Then wonder why you 2 have such a fucked relationship. He didn't do anything wrong. He just wasn't ready for a relationship and is probably waiting until he knows he can give you what you want and need. Why be so pressed out for a title? If someone was pressing me like that I would be reluctant to tell them about shit going on in my personal life and he probably isn't being a jerk. He backs up and comes back slowly cuz he doesn't know how to handle u and you probably put pressure in him. It's like trying to pet a wild dog you don't know how to approach. If u do petty shit like ignore me at given times I wouldn't know how to approach your moody ass. He's giving you space that he thinks you are saying you need when you withdraw and go no contact. Be more accountable and maybe he can come to a decision.

LOL Ummmm, you should probably read the rest before labeling people. Clearly, you missed a lot. "Not responding to someone is childish and abusive." You just described my ex. Thanks.

Do with it what you will that was just my input. Can you summarize? I don't feel like reading all that. But I said I could be wrong bcuz of missing info. But how can you expect to get a healthy relationship if you do the same games as him like picking and choosing when to get back to him? Games beget games especially with men. And both people just start drifting apart bcuz the games break down what it could be between the two of you

Posted by StarChild63
Do with it what you will that was just my input. Can you summarize? I don't feel like reading all that. But I said I could be wrong bcuz of missing info. But how can you expect to get a healthy relationship if you do the same games as him like picking and choosing when to get back to him? Games beget games especially with men. And both people just start drifting apart bcuz the games break down what it could be between the two of you

It's a long story. Basically, he gets upset over things that normal people just talk about and easily work through, he'll end things by going silent on me, the silence will last for a long time, he'll then come back and say he missed me, etc., things will be good, he'll get upset over something again...it's a stupid cycle. I wonder if he even realizes that things aren't peaceful because of him, because I think he blames me for everything. I just don't know how a person can't NOT see themselves to that extreme.

I don't want to play games at all, but there's a fine line between not playing games and being honest and someone seeing you as weak or using it to their advantage. I always wonder if I should tell him how I feel and ask to talk or if I should keep staying away.

Also, I've heard conflicting things about scoprs. A lot of people (like one of my friends who is a male scorp) say if you stay distant, a scorpio will let you walk out of their life, even if they love you and miss you. I guess they are wanting you to go to the ends of the earth, walk through fire, put up with their bs, and still be there waiting for them. To me, if you act like you don't care, I'll start to believe it. If you say you don't want to talk, I'll stop asking. It has nothing to do with me not caring. I just feel like I can't force anyone to care back. I know he does care, though.

I've also heard that if you don't give them space, they'll get annoyed. So, it's like you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. I don't get it.

Last night, we were over at a mutual friends' house and he started playing songs from his phone. He made a playlist and all the songs were songs he had posted before about us with a few I've never heard before. One of the songs I hadn't heard before is "We" by Volbeat. I googled the lyrics:

It's good to be here, long time no see my dear
I took the run out to the road to find a way
But the loneliness broke into tears
I believe I was wrong but baby
now I know your love is not a thing
You throw out in the cold and walk away
I'm so sorry, please say you forgive

Close your eyes baby and lend me your finger
Together we walk out as one
No lonely nights, broken promises or fights will
return anymore

I remember a time I believe was fine
But inside my heart broke down in two
Something inside starts to burn like a fire
And I knew it was you

We're broken and damned
But together we'll find a way
And no longer shall hell awaits
We will seek all the light in the day
Cause forever our love will breathe

...So, he plays all these songs about loving a person, missing a person, etc. Yet, he stays away. When I've asked to talk, he won't. It's like a self-imposed torture. Why do some scorps do that— I read about girlfriends/exes dealing with it all the time.

Posted by DeathbyScorpio
Also, I've heard conflicting things about scoprs. A lot of people (like one of my friends who is a male scorp) say if you stay distant, a scorpio will let you walk out of their life, even if they love you and miss you. I guess they are wanting you to go to the ends of the earth, walk through fire, put up with their bs, and still be there waiting for them. To me, if you act like you don't care, I'll start to believe it. If you say you don't want to talk, I'll stop asking. It has nothing to do with me not caring. I just feel like I can't force anyone to care back. I know he does care, though.

I've also heard that if you don't give them space, they'll get annoyed. So, it's like you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. I don't get it.

Last night, we were over at a mutual friends' house and he started playing songs from his phone. He made a playlist and all the songs were songs he had posted before about us with a few I've never heard before. One of the songs I hadn't heard before is "We" by Volbeat. I googled the lyrics:

It's good to be here, long time no see my dear
I took the run out to the road to find a way
But the loneliness broke into tears
I believe I was wrong but baby
now I know your love is not a thing
You throw out in the cold and walk away
I'm so sorry, please say you forgive

Close your eyes baby and lend me your finger
Together we walk out as one
No lonely nights, broken promises or fights will
return anymore

I remember a time I believe was fine
But inside my heart broke down in two
Something inside starts to burn like a fire
And I knew it was you

We're broken and damned
But together we'll find a way
And no longer shall hell awaits
We will seek all the light in the day
Cause forever our love will breathe

...So, he plays all these songs about loving a person, missing a person, etc. Yet, he stays away. When I've asked to talk, he won't. It's like a self-imposed torture. Why do some scorps do that— I read about girlfriends/exes dealing with it all the time.

And you think these songs are about you? 😕

Did you ever read the book called, "He's Just Not That Into You?"
Don't waste your pretty on this man Death.
For all you know he could be talking about a new girl he is crushing on.

I'm 100% positive. He made the playlist as soon as I got there, they are the same songs he has played for me after we first broke up and he let me know they reminded him of us. He has also sent them to me before. He doesn't communicate with words, so I guess that's the way he communicates anything to me. Also, I've noticed if he thinks I'm not paying attention, he'll start singing what he wants me to hear, and he'll point out what song it is to someone. I wasn't looking at him and was talking to someone else and he would start singing certain parts of songs--parts he has pointed out before. It sounds all insignificant, but I notice everything, and I think he knows that.

He was taking so long to choose the songs that someone actually asked what he was doing for so long. He said, Oh I'm just looking for songs you guys will like...yet, none of the songs were the type of music anyone there liked. Another guy actually asked at one point why he was playing sappy songs, and then the guy got up and turned off his playlist.

Also, I wouldn't be posting about this and asking for insight if I didn't think he cared. It would be easier to move on if I didn't think he cared. For a year, I had a gut feeling about things and my intuition was the opposite of what his overall actions would lead one to believe. Every single time, my intuition was right. What I don't now is what is helpful and what is harmful a far as handling the situation. Obviously, it would be better if I could just move on, because he needs to mature emotionally. But, I haven't been able to do that in over a year, and neither has he.

I went on a date last night after I left my friend's house. The guy likes me, puts forth effort, is nice, and extremely attractive. Yet, I can't shut off how I feel for my ex. Love is really stupid sometimes. 😢

now=know*

Posted by DeathbyScorpio
Also, I wouldn't be posting about this and asking for insight if I didn't think he cared. It would be easier to move on if I didn't think he cared. For a year, I had a gut feeling about things and my intuition was the opposite of what his overall actions would lead one to believe. Every single time, my intuition was right. What I don't now is what is helpful and what is harmful a far as handling the situation. Obviously, it would be better if I could just move on, because he needs to mature emotionally. But, I haven't been able to do that in over a year, and neither has he.

I went on a date last night after I left my friend's house. The guy likes me, puts forth effort, is nice, and extremely attractive. Yet, I can't shut off how I feel for my ex. Love is really stupid sometimes. 😢

So do you place his feelings toward you above your own for yourself?
If you really think he cares you are in prime position to crush his balls.
Get a new man and flaunt him.

I don't think anyone can help you if you are not willing to help yourself.
Plus you seem to wallow in playing the fool. It's sad.
Its working on your self esteem. No woman with self respect would put up with this.
I feel suffocated when I read your story.
If it were me I would have completely removed myself from his presence.
Including leaving my job to be away from that somber energy.

Don't you want to be free?
I fear you are beyond help.
You are wasting your pretty. 😢

Sigh. I just posted the longest thing and it didn't post. I'm too lazy to retype it all.

Bull, thank you so much for your posts. I completely agree with everything you said. It's just the reminder I needed. I KNOW that, but sometimes my emotions take over and make me weak and fearful, which is when I feel the need to contact him. You're right about staying away. I had been staying away, but wanted to hang out. That was a mistake. I do think he is basking in feeling like he has me, and that's bs. It isn't mature or healthy love, that's for sure.

"So do you place his feelings toward you above your own for yourself?
If you really think he cares you are in prime position to crush his balls.
Get a new man and flaunt him.

I don't think anyone can help you if you are not willing to help yourself.
Plus you seem to wallow in playing the fool. It's sad.
Its working on your self esteem. No woman with self respect would put up with this.
I feel suffocated when I read your story.
If it were me I would have completely removed myself from his presence.
Including leaving my job to be away from that somber energy.

Don't you want to be free?
I fear you are beyond help.
You are wasting your pretty. 😢"

I have been talking to a guy and have been out with him twice. Honestly, I'm not ready for a new relationship. I'm still healing. But, I will try to keep myself distracted while not leading on someone else. I told the guy I need to take things slowly and that I'm hurt.

I've always been confident and never had a problem ending a relationship (minus a bad break up with a guy I was going to marry--THAT was AWFUL). He has just broken me down so much that I don't even feel like my happy self anymore. :/ It IS sad. I've actually started looking up houses or condos to buy in two other states to try to get away from all this. Changing jobs won't be easy for me, for a number of reasons. For now, I'll just stay away and try to focus on myself and move on.

Posted by DeathbyScorpio
Sigh. I just posted the longest thing and it didn't post. I'm too lazy to retype it all.

Bull, thank you so much for your posts. I completely agree with everything you said. It's just the reminder I needed. I KNOW that, but sometimes my emotions take over and make me weak and fearful, which is when I feel the need to contact him. You're right about staying away. I had been staying away, but wanted to hang out. That was a mistake. I do think he is basking in feeling like he has me, and that's bs. It isn't mature or healthy love, that's for sure.

A healthy love makes you feel like you are flying.
This crap is like rolling in pig shit.

I think you should take a long vacation because you truly need it.
Go away and get your mind, body and spirit right.

Put yourself around positive people and experiences.
Get the right energy around you.
Pamper yourself, let someone spoil you.

If you see or hear him, don't respond or just move away from it.
You are not alone, many people are going through heartache.

Posted by DeathbyScorpio
"So do you place his feelings toward you above your own for yourself?
If you really think he cares you are in prime position to crush his balls.
Get a new man and flaunt him.

I don't think anyone can help you if you are not willing to help yourself.
Plus you seem to wallow in playing the fool. It's sad.
Its working on your self esteem. No woman with self respect would put up with this.
I feel suffocated when I read your story.
If it were me I would have completely removed myself from his presence.
Including leaving my job to be away from that somber energy.

Don't you want to be free?
I fear you are beyond help.
You are wasting your pretty. 😢"

I have been talking to a guy and have been out with him twice. Honestly, I'm not ready for a new relationship. I'm still healing. But, I will try to keep myself distracted while not leading on someone else. I told the guy I need to take things slowly and that I'm hurt.

I've always been confident and never had a problem ending a relationship (minus a bad break up with a guy I was going to marry--THAT was AWFUL). He has just broken me down so much that I don't even feel like my happy self anymore. :/ It IS sad. I've actually started looking up houses or condos to buy in two other states to try to get away from all this. Changing jobs won't be easy for me, for a number of reasons. For now, I'll just stay away and try to focus on myself and move on.

I think having a balanced positive presence of male and female friends around can be very helpful.
I am not saying seriously date anyone, but to have a friend with potential offers a sense of hope.
Especially if he's treating you right.

We Crabs are a resilient bunch, if you keep working on it, you will get back to being your true self.
Good luck.

Posted by LunarMaiden

Posted by DeathbyScorpio
Sigh. I just posted the longest thing and it didn't post. I'm too lazy to retype it all.

Bull, thank you so much for your posts. I completely agree with everything you said. It's just the reminder I needed. I KNOW that, but sometimes my emotions take over and make me weak and fearful, which is when I feel the need to contact him. You're right about staying away. I had been staying away, but wanted to hang out. That was a mistake. I do think he is basking in feeling like he has me, and that's bs. It isn't mature or healthy love, that's for sure.

A healthy love makes you feel like you are flying.
This crap is like rolling in pig shit.

I think you should take a long vacation because you truly need it.
Go away and get your mind, body and spirit right.

Put yourself around positive people and experiences.
Get the right energy around you.
Pamper yourself, let someone spoil you.

If you see or hear him, don't respond or just move away from it.
You are not alone, many people are going through heartache.

click to expand

Thanks, hon. I appreciate your words. 🙂