Is he still interested? (Page 2)

Posted by Damnata

Posted by Montgomery

"... I've been seeing a pattern here..."

What's wrong with seeing patterns? I do it all the time and all the Pisces Moons I know do it also 😛

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Not a damn thing.

That was my point. 😄

+1 IrresistableScorp

General rule for me with any astrological sign is if a man isn't keeping up with communication he simply lost interest.

I used to think losing communication was bad and/or about the woman but I now know losing communication is not about a woman, losing communication happens, it's a natural part of what happens between the opposite sex.

Losing interest is not the nail in the coffin. To be really clear I don't suggest women chase men because it's nerve wrecking and it is very hard on a woman psychologically, emotionally, sometimes physically.

But If you must reach out again wait for about 6 to 8 weeks before you do It.

Once the line of communication opens do not go back forth for days. 3 text minimum and then go for it.

When the line of communication is flowing naturally, suggest getting together, how about (insert day of the week), time, place and make It appealing, no long drawn out date say like dinner, something simple, coffee, maybe cocktail hour would be appropriate.

If you suggest a day of the week, place, time and he declines then it's done, move on but if he's open to It, the answer is yes then you have your opportunity to apologize if you need to.

If you??re going to be the one pursuing you must go all the way. What I couldn't grasp is your level of expectations. Expecting him to ask you out. Expecting him to keep communicating with you when he wasn't the one initiating contact to begin with. He didn't contact you so he is not obligated to ask you out nor is he obligated to keep the pace of communication going.

The rules change significantly when women/a woman pursues a man. And yes initiating any kind of contact Is pursuing/chasing a man.

You chase by initiating communication, suggesting a date, asking for a date, then you have to follow through or communication will drop off and/or stop/stall altogether.st is not the nail in the coffin, reach out again n 8 weeks and then you can ask him out

I must say I agree with IrresistableScorp and tiki33

I wouldn't have felt comfortable just coming out and apologising, especially as I don't know how he was feeling about the whole thing, and whether he thinks an apology is necessary.
We were seeing eachother longer than a month, but I think it still applies.

Anyway, in this time that I have been thinking about what to do, he reached out this morning! So we have been texting back and forth a bit. I will see how conversation goes. He may just be being friendly though? Who knows!

As I said, I will see how it goes, and if I feel good vibes then maybe I will suggest a quick meet up. If he declines then I know I must forget about him.

Oh and if he agrees to meet, then I might say something along the lines of apologising for how things ended last time

I agree with Tiz


My advice to you cancerrose really wasn't about apologizing.... it was more about an attitude of waiting around and worrying.

Nowhere did I say to come out and give a dripping sentimental apologize to this guy... all I said was to be more honest and direct about your intentions. With Cancers it can be more about how we say things.

Posted by cancerrose
Oh and if he agrees to meet, then I might say something along the lines of apologising for how things ended last time

Even in ^^this^^ reply, you are going to sit back and see how it goes. "I might say something along the lines of..." translated means "I'm going to try to avoid doing/saying anything that might make me look stupid or vulnerable."

An apology or better yet, ownership of past actions, is more for yourself than the other person. If you acted a bit nutty last time, enjoy his company and would like to continue speaking or get together sometime... what is wrong with expressing that? Any person regardless of sign or sex would appreciate that kind of honesty. Why pretend you didn't act pushy in the past if you did?

You don't have to go out to talk about it, it's just being real instead of staging a courtship. Step 1. text and talk. Step 2. meet for coffee. Step 3, blah, blah, blah. Seems corny to me and reads like games.

He DID contact you. Don't assume he's just being friendly. Don't assume anything... just be open to honesty without so much protective shell and maneuvering.

Posted by shellshocker
I agree with Tiz


My advice to you cancerrose really wasn't about apologizing.... it was more about an attitude of waiting around and worrying.

Nowhere did I say to come out and give a dripping sentimental apologize to this guy...

I don't think anyone did. :/

The advice was to "be direct" and "be honest"-- if an apology was part of it (which only she can determine), then so be it.

Posted by cancerrose
I must say I agree with IrresistableScorp and tiki33

I wouldn't have felt comfortable just coming out and apologizing....

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IS and tiki said "Establish trust, communication FIRST... " and "follow-through" are important, respectively-- (advice you rejected several pages ago).

It is unclear why you find it more palatable on page six (?).


Jeezus

Posted by shellshocker


If you acted a bit nutty last time, enjoy his company and would like to continue speaking or get together sometime... what is wrong with expressing that? Any person regardless of sign or sex would appreciate that kind of honesty. Why pretend you didn't act pushy in the past if you did?

You don't have to go out to talk about it, it's just being real instead of staging a courtship. Step 1. text and talk. Step 2. meet for coffee. Step 3, blah, blah, blah. Seems corny to me and reads like games.

He DID contact you. Don't assume he's just being friendly. Don't assume anything... just be open to honesty without so much protective shell and maneuvering.

Can you please advise me on what is the best way at going about this?

If it was me..I'd meet up with the guy and have a nice team. Depending on where I feel he's at, I'd bring it up or not. I'd keep the atmosphere as light as possible.

Like IrresistableScorp said..going heavy and telling him sorry straight off the bat might make him go "uhhh?". But if you can reconnect in a way with him..that would work.

I had a huge fight with a Taurus friend of mine and I knew I wouldn't be able to say anything or excuse myself..took him a year to want to talk to me again. We went out to a museum and between criticising paintings, I just blurted out "Hey I really am sorry about what happened. I'd explain myself but that would be me avoiding taking responsability and I was in the wrong there. Not sure where you're at?". He smiled and told me he had forgiven me.

I honestly don't know what's that hard about doing this. You're Cardinal AND Water...ugh. If my weak ass Virgo Sun can do it, you probably can too. Going round in circles is immensely infurriating and the way Cancers go about it..they think they're actually being nice by avoiding to bring up emotional issues but it comes across as flaky or offensive to the other person.

*nice time
*I'd feel
*yours probably can too

UGH

idk, it really depends on your personality.

Do you make jokes? tell stories? make references? I do the latter, so I??d probably make a reference to another time when I—d been pushy or had too many expectations and work it in... —I also did that with you, that was silly of me. It's something I??d consciously try not to repeat if we spent more time together.??

Something like that but that's me and about as direct as my Cancerself would get.

no big deal, no real apology... just acknowledgement of your actions. The guy in question can take that information and do whatever with it. No guarantees he??ll pursue, say nothing or tell you he's not looking for a relationship. Who knows, but at least YOU have said yours and been honest.

I agree with Shell and others that you shouldn't drag this out too long.

You've already freaked out online about the lack of contact (needy).

Men are men, they do what they want and not what we women expect/want them to do.

I'm not sure what's going on inside of you on an emotional level but maybe you're not emotionally ready for any of this. I sense some needy energy and a tad hint of desperate energy coming from you and this kind of energy will eventually interfere with progress as it did once before.

I'm really confused actually, maybe he's confused as well, I dunno, but this shit ain't rocket science and it really shouldn't be this hard.

Had you contacted him, suggested a mini date (tea, lunch, cocktails) to begin with you wouldn't have to ask if he's interested, you'd know already.

Update - So I guess I was worrying over nothing. He ended up contacting me, and we were messaging eachother back and forth for a while and we arranged to meet up after work for a couple of drinks.

I couldn't stay long as I had to get home, but it was really nice. No awkwardness, I didn't want to apologise or bring up the past just yet as I didn't want to ruin the mood. He told me he had a nice time and that he was happy to see me again and would like to do it again soon, and I agreed.

All pretty positive! My only thinking is, does he see this as just friends or something more?

He said in the past he didn't want a relationship, but some time has passed now and he could be ready now.

Also do Scorpios tend to be players? I'm concerned that if we start to meet up regularly (ie. essentially dating again), that I could end up getting hurt.

I'm sure he's seeing other girls. I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I was really hoping to reconnect, and now that it could be well possible I am afraid of getting hurt 😢

~sigh~

Posted by cancerrose
Update - So I guess I was worrying over nothing. He ended up contacting me, and we were messaging eachother back and forth for a while and we arranged to meet up after work for a couple of drinks.

I couldn't stay long as I had to get home, but it was really nice. No awkwardness, I didn't want to apologise or bring up the past just yet as I didn't want to ruin the mood. He told me he had a nice time and that he was happy to see me again and would like to do it again soon, and I agreed.

All pretty positive! My only thinking is, .................(

Get out of your head, it's thinking too much.
Don't talk about the past. Move forward.

Don't worry if Scorpio's are players and what you think he is doing when he is not with you.
He is a free man, you are a free woman.
If you meet another guy and you both want to go out, do it.
Enjoy your time with him and don't plan the wedding/divorce just yet. 😉

Why are you guys so obsessed with Scorpio guys that are being honest and say that they don't want a relationship or aren't ready for one yet, it's like the more they say no the more it gets in your heads to say ok I'll wait or I'll be here...

That's any guy. Women love that mess.