Manipulative? Playing games? Or Sincere? (Page 2)

Pluto''s_Pride you know whats up...lol

Thank You FloridaFemale ...LOL!

"but I don't say I miss him or love him unless he says it first"


I have a question .. maybe two:

On the OP, you said that you were letting go, and so stopped contacting him .. he contacts you now. And above .. the quote infers that you are only sentimental with him only if he says it first. And also, you have suggested that his words are matching his actions.

So, my question is .. when you decided to let go .. did you actually tell him this? Or, have you just left it to lead him on?

It just seems awefully curious to me that if a person was unhappy with getting a distant kind of treatment .. then how can it be justified within yourself that this is bad treatment, if same person turns around and pulls the same stunt.

Second question: Doesn't that make you the same ass as him, then? If you would ignore him (= bad treatment of a person) and play word games to get him to have some sort of expected response.

* aren't .... his words aren't matching his actions.

This all sounds pretty manipulative to me ....


"Sunday: I decided to let go, because he say's one thing, but his actions show differently. My sanity is more important! Didn't call him, but he called me. He asked me to call him later...I didn't.

Monday: Didn't call, refused to pick up the phone, but he called me several times at work.

Tuesday: I got three calls. (1) What the fuk, where have you been? (2) I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. (3) I was just thinking about you and I miss you. On all three calls I was very nice, but I'm sure he could sense my distance."


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Why play games with him?

"I made the decision to walk away from my Scorpio"

It doesn't sound to me like you've made a decision to walk away from him .. it sounds to me as though you've decided to emotionally manipulate him by acting distant, while telling him you miss him and love him IF he tells you first, to get him to crawl back to you.


My advise is to grow up .. if his behaviour is immature, then your solution to play him isn't any moreso.

"NO ONE SAID they were in need of changing to please scorp dude.
this thread is SIMPLY what scorp dude IS.
take him or leave him.
it has nothing to do with changing WHO YOU ARE.
it has to do with UNDERSTANDING why he is the way he is.
period."

LMAO keep telling yourself that. All this thread is saying is "What can I do to get my Scorp back?"

Every friggin thread about a scorp man is about some dainty female moaning about how she can get him back and/or how she can get him to fall in love with her, i.e. I've tried being who I am and I dont think it's working because I'm too friggin impatient so...how can I be someone else?

Anyway...all you women will keep writing these threads and complaining like teenagers until you realise the fault is within YOURSELVES. YOU'RE the ones accepting the behaviour and YOU'RE the ones wanting to make changes. I mean, are your scorp men on a forum trying to figure you out? So hilarious.

If nothing else, I guess the threads are amusing.

^^^ Feeling better, now that you've huffed and puffed? This is what I call pathetically amusing. YOU'RE the one who talked about having to succumb to your scorp because...OMG...I am mutable. You keep telling these women to "give him full control".
Bottom line is, these relationships are dead already so you think giving him full control will suddenly make him fall in love?

Are you 5? Just because a woman refuses to be a doormat doesnt mean she's a lesbian. It means she has self-respect. But then again, you dont have the intellect to realise this do you?

And...YOU'VE got life all figured out havent you? If you dont like reading my comments, dont read them...or better yet, block me.

Enough with the capital letters already. They dont make you less dumb. I forgive you anyway. You're a gemini.

Is it the dual nature being at such an opposition that it causes circuits to fizzle, and so zings severe emotional spikes that create overzealousness, that shifts solely between belligerance & exaltation, with nothing inbetween in the form of actual awareness?

"i don't forgive you.
you are a hyper-sensitive/rigid/resentful/taurus."

My world is over.

"i smell something
rotten fish.
take a shower already."

Says the b1tch from Florida.

Ok...The reason why I started this thread is because my Scorp was giving me mixed signals because his actions did not back up his words...

Short version...

He was being distant and unavailable, yet was always assuring me that he loved me and missed me. The last three weekends he's something has always come up at the last minute and we could never make a connection. Now this week he did all the calling.

Mon- I love you
Tues- I miss you
Wed- I wish we could run away
Thur- We were suppose to hook-up (didn't)
Fri- We were suppose to hook-up (didn't because of babysitting issues)

Now Friday he did manage to stop by to give me a kiss, gave me a compliment and told me it was good to see me. After we kissed I definitely felt something was different. He told me he would call me around midnight. A little after midnight he sent me a text saying he couldn't get out. I tried him on his cell. No answer...Left a text asking if he could talk for a minute. He said no...So of course a red flag went up and I left him this text.

Wow! It appears that something or maybe someone has had your attention because I definitely feel that something has changed with you. It seems lately that we just can't make a connection. Action speaks louder than words and if I'm reading your actions right than I'm getting the message loud and cleat. All I ask is for your honesty.

Do you know an hour and a half later I got "Yeah your right".

Damn! Totally threw me for a loop! So now I'm thinking all those things he said in the beginning of the week was just a crock of s_ _t!

My questions is...Should call him for an explanation? Or should I just leave it alone because he did answer my question?

Friday: Leaves me "Just thinking about you" message on my work voicemail.
That evening we were supposed to get together and all of the sudden an emergency comes up. (Which he didn't want to share). I told him don't worry about it and lets get together Saturday

Saturday: I didn't hear from him, until I called him that evening. He was tied with his son and didn't have a babysitter. I decided to go out and have my own fun. He ended up calling me while I was out and we hooked up for a drink. When I saw him I just felt that something wasn't right and I told him how I felt and again he say's "I love you", "I wish I could see you everyday"...yada...yada...yada

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PB, my observations come from just the OP ..

Friday, he leaves a text that says he's thinking about you.

Friday night, he has an emergency come up, in which you blow off and say it's ok, no problem (when in fact, it was a problem because it is a part of what has led you to believe some hidden agenda is taking place). A person has a right to keep their personal issues, personal and if he believes it is something he needs to keep to himself for whatever reason, is his right .. and it doesn't indicate that anything underhanded is going on. But, in your mind .. you are being paranoid, for whatever reason.

Saturday, he had to take care of his child.
Saturday (later) .. he manages to find childcare and hooks up with you to have some drinks and tells you he loves you after you tell him that something doesn't feel right. And going off of what you posted that has taken place the past two days .. what isn't feeling right to you is because you are feeling insecure because he has other obligations in which he has to honor, and in fulfilling these obligations, he cannot give you 100% of his time .... though, he sends texts telling you that while he is busy with his duties, he is thinking about you.

You decide to break up on Sunday .. however, don't tell him this and just back off to crawl in your shell .. and then have hard feelings about him because he isn't reading your mind. He isn't responding in the way in which you want him to, to nurture your hurt feelings, yet, you never tell him that your feelings are hurt .... rather, actually telling him sentimental things at his prompting.

PB ... I understand that Crabs feel things close to thier heart and this is what causes the insecurity .. however, he cannot respond to you unless you communicate to him.

"My questions is...Should call him for an explanation? Or should I just leave it alone because he did answer my question?"


It doesn't appear that either one of you are being honest with each other .. he sounds like he's holding something back, and you are holding back how you truly feel ....

Communication is key .... you should approach him openly, and honestly about how you feel. If he is forthcoming with how he truly feels and this is a workable situation .. then put forth effort in working in unison. If he isn't forthcoming .. than walk away.


But, by no means should you 'pretend' or 'fake' any sentiment with intentions of evoking any emotion to suit yourself that is in contrary to yourself.

In other words .. if you manipulate him to tell you he loves you, or misses you by means of ignorance to him ... then what you are pulling out of him is just a reaction, and not sincere. And visa versa .. if he is playing a game to get you to respond to him .. then this is just a reaction of superficial sentiments, which is contrary to how you truly feel.

Don't play .. my God .. don't play !!!!

Thanks P Angel for your feedback...

I was just blown away by the short response I got back from the text I left last night.
"Yeah your right"...

I do have a some insecurities when it come to this relationship, but what am I suppose to think when someone wants to spend all their time with you in the beginning and now I can barely get some time.

Now I'm regretting sending that text last night. I text him this am telling him that we needed to talk and if I could see him later this evening. Of course I'm nervous at the response I'll get back.

" .. what am I suppose to think when someone .. "


This is a huge problem in which most people face .. and in which causes the Virgo to be leary, and have a need for clarification. However, every person falls victim to this, and it's all self-inflicted because we attempt to figure out, based off of suspicions and speculation, rather than approaching .. for fear of confrontation, because confrontation might cause injury. And the thing is .. by not confronting the issue .. injury of feelings are still taking place.


You'll do fine (if he responds) ... just be frank and honest about how you feel. And remember .. a person cannot be made to feel you .. either they do, or they don't. If they don't, then walk away and go find a person who does.

Thanks again P...It just hurts like hell. But you're right I will be fine either way.

My Scorpio gave me a tongue lashing Saturday after I left my not so nice text Friday night. I just knew that he was through with me after he left such a cold reply.

He re-assured me (for the 1,000th time)that he was crazy about me, he loved me and that he wasn't going anywhere. He also said that If I was going to constantly question his feelings for me, or if there is someone else that I should re-evaluate if it want to be in this relationship.

The thing I'm battling with is he's saying all the right things, but I just can't get over the fact that he's been unavailable, we don't talk as much, and it seems that he's trying to be a little possessive when he's not available and I decide to do go about my life and make other plans.

I've decided to live in the moment and go with the flow and have no expectations, because if I think any other way I will lose my mind!

I've noticed something about Scorpios, they need to shine but always direct their light elsewhere.

Just get on with your life. Who needs this game-player anyway?

pb: i noticed that scorps make some major mistakes in communication but they think that they didn't do anything wrong. or all men do that? be carefull of people who tell you exactly what you want to hear.
I've decided to live in the moment and go with the flow and have no expectations, because if I think any other way I will lose my mind! - a very smart and mature decision. how long do you think it's going to last?🙂
Froggie2 is right but easier said than done, unfortunately.

"be carefull of people who tell you exactly what you want to hear."


Absolutely agree with that statement.

wow p-a. we finally agreed on something 🙂

"wow p-a. we finally agreed on something"

Quick! Somebody grab a camera to record this historic moment!

i'm about to start crying happy tears!!!! lol

I agree with most things you say, ariesgirl .. 🙂

ariesgirl, just for future reference ..

.. I don't usually verbally speak unless in disagreement ..

.. if silent, then it's in agreement.


If in agreement, then there's nothing of interest to talk about because it's already established/confirmed .. if in disagreement then there is something of interest to talk about because it is different .. that probably doesn't make sense to you, and didn't to me for a long time, however, thanks to Roxi and her nice gift, it makes sense now.

AG:Thanks for all the feedback!

**be careful of people who tell you exactly what you want to hear.**

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

**I've decided to live in the moment and go with the flow and have no expectations, because if I think any other way I will lose my mind! - a very smart and mature decision.**

I'm already doing that and it's been a great week!!!

**how long do you think it's going to last?**

Who knows...Not forever...That's for sure!!!!! TODAY...I don't give a treetrunk!

glad to hear that you're making some positive for you decisions here. all that scorp thing can be flustrating. like couple of days ago there was some text exchange between me and scorp. i let him know fed days back that i missed him and he wrote back that i was sweet. what kind of a response is that? the next day he writes me asking me how much i missed him so, i responded that he was being sweet. then i reminded him that he forgot something at my place and he can pick it up any time. no response back. what am i supposed make out of this situation?

He is scared. I find even when a scorp guy confesses his undying love for you he can be scared.

QS- are you referring to pb situation or my bitching?🙂 if it's mine - what the hell is he scared off? it's not like we're in a serious relationship here?

Exactly ariesgirl... Scorp men seem to be most causious when they aren't in a serious relationship and their feelings and emotions pulls them much closer to that person than they expected to be. In my experience. Because they know once they/we fall, we fall hard and want to be sure.

caucious

thanks gs for the insight here. in my defense: he keept coming back and initiate all the emotional thing. when i started to open up and respond back emotionally he gets scared? it feels like "i want to get her" game. nobody wins at the end of this game. i played it before and now i'll never ever play with anyone's emotions again. learned a good lesson.
guess, i'm just vulnerable now and over thinking everything. i'm taking it as it goes except i'm afraid that when he'll decide that he's ready "to fall" i won't be there to catch him.
hope you got some rest and feeling better