Recently married to Aquarius man! HELP!!!

Am a scorpio woman who was married to an aquarius last may. Weve been in a distant on and off relationship for 17 years. It was a roller coaster and ive changed alot because of my relationship with him. I obviously still love him, thats why i took him back after he broke up and disappeared for stupid reasons. One week before we got married, he asked me to pick him up from airport and get ready to get married as soon as he gets to my country. Thats what we did! After we got married, he told me that we will live in different states. He works in 2 jobs so he works in 2 states. He wants to have me living in the state where he least visits.. Thats 6 days a month which i refused and had a big fight over. Then he surprises me, again, that he wants me to sign a prenup because we have a fragile history (he was always the who left. I went to the US late June and asked to meet to discuss things but he refused saying he's clear about what he wants from me. From May until today, weve only spoke on the phone 4 times, always fighting about it over and over. We rarely exchange messages and when we do its fighting as well. Please note, it not necessary for me to be with him on fb (because his profile is public!!) Whenever i used to call before marriage, he would never pick up- it always has to be when he find suitable. He lives a single life, as if i dont exist. He never asks about how im doing or if i need anything, even when im nice to him and show him that i care.

He does not want a divorce, he wants me to accept to live in the states he's working at the least. He does not seem to appreciate that im leaving a very good career behind, my whole family that im attached to and my best friends. He does not seem to understand no sane person would leave all this, to marry someone who would see 6 days a month. He claims the reason he doesnt want me to be in the state he lives there the most is because its too expensive, even tho the other state is as expensive as much!! Please note, his mother did not like me sincce we got engaged and was the reason we broke up one of the times.. He married me without her knowing, and hes not willing to tell her before we have kids. She lives with him in the state he will be staying at the longest.. What do i do.. I do not feel safe, or ok. Ive been depressed over this.

Mya family wants me to divorce, but there is something inside me that tells me he will appreciate all ive been through to make it work all these years, and another voice

and another voice tells me, he didnt appreciate me before i got into his house, when im in its going to be even worst.

i need ur opinions, i cannot be married and relive distance, and i cannot sign a prenup for the simple fact that he might not be sure how long he wants to stay with me, or does not trust me. I feel hurt and humiliated for this.

Thank u all.

I'm assuming you're American and he is not? Because you said that he wanted to marry you as soon as he got to your country. That sounds suspiciously like he married you for the green card, especially seeing as he was rushing the marriage and not caring how you felt. Then there's the fact that he wants you to live in a different state than he does and will only see you 6 days out of a month. That really sounds like he just used you and now is probably going to see other women in the state that he lives in. Someone who really loves you cares about your feelings. Also, newly-weds would want to be with eachother all the time right after marrying. This is the honey-moon stage. Yet your man could give less of a fuck if he sees you or not. That raises red flags.

All in all, he sounds like a complete and total sociopath who used you for his own gains and now just wants to conveniently brush you to the side. Especially with the prenup in order. I am really sorry you married a jackass like him. If I were you, I would divorce. There are better men out there honey, and he is not one of them.

I am not American, he has a citizenship and works as a dentist. I sacrificed the best years of my life for him, and he knows pretty much what i sacrificed and that i was faithful, and he still treats me as a complete stranger. He does not want me to share anything. Im hurt for this and causes me to hate to think of dating other men or being in a relationship ever again. When he told me that he wants me to sign a prenup, which i did not know what it was, he said it exactly this way: "The way u get in is the way u get out" Is this respectful to explain it this way or is it me i took it too hard?

If it werent for your feelings of love, you'd actually turn this around to work in your favour. Use him for the citizenship & rebuild your career/life. IDK but America seems to have a lot of opportunities imo. I wouldn't give a damn about him if I were you, my only focus would be getting a piece of the "American dream". Ah, but you love him. Damn. You can't turn it off lol?

I really feel for you, but you can turn this around if you work on those feelings. Plus, there must be far better looking men in the state that he wants you to live at alone. Who cares about him?

Posted by WaterCup
If it werent for your feelings of love, you'd actually turn this around to work in your favour. Use him for the citizenship & rebuild your career/life. IDK but America seems to have a lot of opportunities imo. I wouldn't give a damn about him if I were you, my only focus would be getting a piece of the "American dream". Ah, but you love him. Damn. You can't turn it off lol?

I really feel for you, but you can turn this around if you work on those feelings. Plus, there must be far better looking men in the state that he wants you to live at alone. Who cares about him?

Ha! I love the way you think! 😉

Posted by ladolcevita

Posted by WaterCup
If it werent for your feelings of love, you'd actually turn this around to work in your favour. Use him for the citizenship & rebuild your career/life. IDK but America seems to have a lot of opportunities imo. I wouldn't give a damn about him if I were you, my only focus would be getting a piece of the "American dream". Ah, but you love him. Damn. You can't turn it off lol?

I really feel for you, but you can turn this around if you work on those feelings. Plus, there must be far better looking men in the state that he wants you to live at alone. Who cares about him?

Ha! I love the way you think! 😉

click to expand

LMAO. He just doesnt deserve any sympathy. He's a self serving prick. Two can play that game 😉 Those mail order brides do it all the time by marrying fat ugly guys that dont deserve them. All they need is legal entry & the rest is as simple as taking candy from a baby.

How old are you OP?

Posted by seapearl2014
Am a scorpio woman who was married to an aquarius last may. Weve been in a distant on and off relationship for 17 years.

Mya family wants me to divorce, but there is something inside me that tells me he will appreciate all ive been through to make it work all these years, and another voice

Fuck that 1st voice. Is that the same voice that told you to marry a 17 year off n on relationship? That voice gives terrible advice. 17 years, still waiting on that appreciation?

Gurl....bye

Posted by seapearl2014
and another voice tells me, he didnt appreciate me before i got into his house, when im in its going to be even worst.

i need ur opinions, i cannot be married and relive distance, and i cannot sign a prenup for the simple fact that he might not be sure how long he wants to stay with me, or does not trust me. I feel hurt and humiliated for this.

Thank u all.

yes, the second voice! The second voice! The lessons in this are yours and yours alone. Imo, you cant blame him. He didnt cause your hurt and humiliation. Come on girl, you did that.

The voice in my head is telling me that this is just a vent. You're going to stay neways. What can strangers on the internet say that your friends n family havent already said? They know n love you and you still thought you knew best. What can we say that could possibly kill off that first voice?

Posted by seapearl2014
I am not American, he has a citizenship and works as a dentist. I sacrificed the best years of my life for him, and he knows pretty much what i sacrificed and that i was faithful, and he still treats me as a complete stranger. He does not want me to share anything. Im hurt for this and causes me to hate to think of dating other men or being in a relationship ever again. When he told me that he wants me to sign a prenup, which i did not know what it was, he said it exactly this way: "The way u get in is the way u get out" Is this respectful to explain it this way or is it me i took it too hard?

This is NOT a prenuptial agreement. It is called a POSTNUPTIAL AGREEMENT/POSTMARITAL AGREEMENT.
Courts don't like them AT ALL. Especially in your case as you explain it.

HOWEVER...this jerk you married is using this agreement as EXTORTION & BLACKMAIL. I've seen this before and it's usually done to foreigners and very naive women. ALSO...once you married this man you became a citizen of the United States, why haven't you gotten a green card—... When you married, you had to get a Marriage License. Do you have that in your possession— If not, you can go to the county of the state you married, and get a copy of that. DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING UNTIL YOU SEE AN ATTORNEY! Start a file and SAVE ALL CORRESPONDENCE from this man. Try to get him to e-mail you or write you a letter stating WHY he wants you to sign a postmarital agreement, and ask him to send you a copy. Add it to your file AND DON'T SIGN IT!! Hire an attorney immediately.

Next, the attorney or firm will most likely need to hire a private investigator. Anything short of hiring an attorney could be a disaster for you. So please hire one, you can get a consultation for FREE and they will tell you what to do next! I wish you luck.

Also...do you live in a home or apartment? Do you own a vehicle?

Does he financially take care of your bills etc...??

hello seapearl2014,

If I were you. drop it. If you are the one who did all the chasing and trying to work out the relationship I promise you... it won't go that farther. It will cause you a lot of pain at the
end.. so I advise you, have savings financially for yourself and be prepared for the future.

Marriage for american is like business. when they think it's not working and all those negative impacts is really exhausting they will file divorce because they knew it's not gonna work.The relationship is not healthy and their thoughts of marriage is very rational.

Pre nuptial is not disrespect thing behavior but it looks like he can't give you what he invested for
himself. He is protecting his property which is good and fair enough. abuse might come along the way.

The fact that his mother cannot accept you... OMG this is RED FLAG. There is no blessing. It's curse.

I had a live in partner Aquarius man 10 yrs ago. same as you.. did all those chasing and trying to work out the relationship. I prepared myself and he was clueless. I left him and all investment we had. It was painful but atlast I am free and happy.. and he kept chasing me.

Good Luck and God be with you.

Oh dear god!!! This man is so much of a narcissist and player that it's not funny. Read about narcissists, read how they work, what they do, etc. Do as LIB says and protect yourself, and I definitely think you need to get out of this marriage ASAP, and thank goodness you two don't have kids together. Run, run RUN from this person. He's bad news in every way.

Posted by starlover
Aqua and Marriage in the same sentence always seems odd to me


Such a freedom loving sing!

well many of them arent marriage material, but there are a rare few who love marriage.

ie, Paul Newman who married a Pisces woman. Even he's better than most sun signs in the marriage department. It all depends.

but that's besides the point.

The OP sees something that we don't see. I dont know what it is, because it's very unattractive to wait 17 years for marriage and not being able to have a family together.There is NO security.