School Of Sex Management , University of Aries

Hi

It gives us a great plzzure to announce that admissions to the following programs are open -

1. The Yogic wayz of Sexual Health Management.
2. Tantric Sex.
3. Sexual Networking.
4. Guide to Sex-working.
5. Economy of Sex.
6. Adoloscent Sex and Reproductive Health.
7. Sexual Health, Mind and Development.
8. Importance of Sex in Life Insurance.
9. Celebrity Sex Management.
10. Strategic Corporate Sex Management - Enron Case Study
11. Statistical Analysis of Sexual Motions.
12. Sexual Database Management.
13. Sex in Internet age - Advanced course.
14. Biology of Sex Appeal.
15. Chemistry Of Sex Appeal.
16. Virtual Sexual Intercourse Management.


We have consciously and unilaterally decided to keep the admission process as "rolling". Pre-requisites are - An undergraduate course in sexual awareness with distiction. Virgin applicants will be summarily rejected.

In addition, we have arranged for a tie-up with the notorious "Scorpio Institute of Sexual Technology" and visiting faculty will take up various courses offering project work as well in various corporations.

On the opening day - there will be a lecture delivered by Professor Emeritus Mr. AntiBling on his famous piece of work -

" Tail of Love"

Thanks.

Some of the courses on offer by Professor Alcheme from SIST :

"Please note that ST 1000 (or an equivalent demonstratable level of competence in the subject matter) is a prerequisite for all classes. This prerequisite is waved for all virgins over the age of 21."

ST 1000 - Introduction to Sexual Technology
ST 1100 - Security Issues in Sexual Technology
ST 1200 - Sexual Technology in the Home
ST 1201 - Sexual Technology in the Workplace
ST 1300 - Erotic Programming Concepts
ST 2100 - Bondage Design and Implementation
ST 2101 - MicroWhip Administration
ST 2102 - LinWax Administration
ST 2200 - Object Oriented Sexual Analysis and Design
ST 2300 - User Enter-Face Design
ST 2400 - Desktop Publicking
ST 2500 - Web Sex Management
ST 2501 - Multimedia and Sex-Commerce

Scorpedo sexperts are into advanced sexual research on topics like -

1. Sex in zero-gravity conditions : Implications for Astronauts
2. Appplied Sexual Science - Sub Surface Sexual Exchanges.
3. Same Sex Sexual Reproduction: Advanced Surgical Techniques.
4. Sex in outer Space : Future of Civilizations.
5. Wireless Sex Technology : Bridging the Gap.

"5. Wireless Sex Technology : Bridging the Gap."

ROFL

" know you didn't come up with all of this by yourself. "

Trust me sometimes.

" by yourself. "

SIST has remedial courses for that...

""5. Wireless Sex Technology : Bridging the Gap."

"

In fact an off-shoot course would be -

1. Wireless Sex and Rape Laws : Preventive Measures And Implications for Public Poicy.

what a sucky university, it doesn't even teach the students who need it most

SIST isn't quite as harsh in their entry requirements...

"Please note that ST 1000 (or an equivalent demonstratable level of competence in the subject matter) is a prerequisite for all classes. This prerequisite is waved for all virgins over the age of 21."

Virgins are accepted at SIST, they merely are required to take the intro course (as are most non-virgins)...

"what a sucky university, it doesn't even teach the students who need it most"

The courses mentiond would lead to a Masters Diploma. For the virgins, SIST has lots to offer.

Admissions Cell Incharge -

Prof. Alcheme.

"btw G...whats with all this sexual teaching n all...khali dimag shaitan ka ghar"

Yeah Khali dimag and Khali bed 😛

Just like that...was actually wondering about sex education 😉

"lol...khali bed?
where's doc?"

haa haa....Dcotor is fast asleep. Not by my side though 😛

Hope U found the courses useful.

haa haa...Ok I will float special courses for U -

1. Architectural Virginity and Vigin Design.
2. Virginity and Visual Arts.
3. History, Theory, and Criticism of Virginity.
4. General and Special Theory of Virginity - Lectures by Feynman.
5. Anatomical Virginity.

Professor Alcheme ..Anything from SIST ?

"I don't need any Sex University. I can figure it out for myself."

Notso ...U may consider this -

We have established a Student Exchange Program as well. And for meritorius students like U we offer scholarships as well. If U think U r a prodigy, our faculty positions are also open.

"so where will the courses be held?
is there any class like 'how to 'do it' the first time'?
"

All the courses will have practical orientation, so classes will be held in a Lab funded by "Durex".

As regards, How to do it the first time guide , Professor Alcheme and Professor Bling will hold a special seminar.

Class 1 -

Students will get to interact with the faculty:

1. Professor Alcheme - Kamma suutra Beta Professor of Sexual Marketing.
2. Professor Bling - Director, School of Fine Sexual Arts.
3. Professor GA - Director, SoSM.
4. Yama - Best young sexual Scientist awardee.

Afterwords, all the virgin students shall proceed to attend an introductory course wherein they would be given demonstrations on intimacy, flow control, kissing, and copulation.

The Department of Virtuosity does offer a number of advanced courses...

Standard junior level SIST courses:
ST 1000 - Introduction to Sexual Technology
ST 1100 - Security Issues in Sexual Technology
ST 1200 - Sexual Technology in the Home
ST 1201 - Sexual Technology in the Workplace
ST 1300 - Erotic Programming Concepts


Dept of Virtuosity advanced courses:
VT 2100 - Introduction to Sexual Communication
VT 2101 - Introduction to Soft-Ware Troubleshooting
VT 2200 - Introduction to Erogenous Programming
VT 2300 - Sexual Architecture and Orgasm Systems
VT 2301 - Advanced Orgasm Engineering
VT 2400 - Sexual Audit and Analysis
VT 2500 - Sexual Intelligence and Expert Systems

haa haa haa.....Soon we will have the Nobel institute come with a Nobel Prize on Sexology as well.

"ahh all these courses r making me dizzy...O-o"

We have a session on -

Managing the aftermaths of a marathon romp.

"Managing the aftermaths of a marathon romp."

I would like to observe that class... Does it have a lab?

"I would like to observe that class... Does it have a lab? "

Yes Indeed. We will have experts like Jenna Jameson coming in for guest lectures and practical demos.

"ohh maybe scorpio mars will teach me something in the comming days"

Pluto can U take up a class on -

Planetary Positions and Sexual Inclinations ?

Welcome students...I am your professor.

Seat yourselves down now..or rather lie down now...

😛

Please welcome Dr. Morals from Royal Institute of Sexual Medicine and Health sciences. Her areas of practice are - Sex, Ethics and Environment.

She will be taking up following classes -

1. Free Trade and Sexual Adventurism.
2. Algorithms for Computational Sexual Biology.
3. Neurobioloby of Sexual Mood, Temperament and Creativity.

She will be an acting Dean and incharge of Students "Affiars".

::Stretches rubber gloves over hand::

::evil grin::

LOL @ "incharge of Students "Affiars"."

"Free Trade and Sexual Adventurism"

ROFL

😢 where are the clases I requested?

You can't request the classes..you just have to enrol..this is not an on-demand campus...

"We could just roll the entire institute into one class called "Just do it.""

Thatz reserved for the Convocation Day.

"this is not an on-demand campus..."

I think it would demand on what it being demanded... 🙂

I like romantic rendevouz. no course on that? 😢

Nah you want to try out the University of Pisces perhaps...This is a red brick Uni..concentrating on physical labour..Aint got time for flowers and puffy cushions..

😛

"This is a red brick Uni..concentrating on physical labour..Aint got time for flowers and puffy cushions..."

hehe...We may actually need some comfort after a day of hard work....no ? 😉

No people you get it all wrong...

Pffffft..

Cancerinlove said she wants romance classes, so I said go enrol at the Pisces University as they seem to be romantic folk..I wouldn't know romance if it hit me in the face! so I am at the correct Uni..i.e. Aries..LOL..

When I said Labour I meant in the physical thing..(sex)..Never mind!..

I am not in a good mood today..

No smoking day 3...

LOL @ EG

University of Scorpio would be one huge erect pillar perhaps..

LMAO @ EG's picture and "See how it rises from "the bush"?"

hahahah..that was a classic...love it!

LOL @ Cap..I am never in a bad mood with you..you put a smile on my face...

🙂

EG: Thanks for the patch..i've actually gone and bought some today..there was a special offer..buy one pack and get the 2nd half price..

I took an hour off work on monday to go Doctors to get it on prescription only to get there and the nurse advises me that they have stopped the no smoking clinics at the surgery..WHAT THE FK..I was pissed...so I said "don't you think you should've told me that before I trekked an hour from Central london to be here, what is it you doctors"...Walked out in a huff!!!

Its officially the misery week this week..Said so in the morning papers..

Failed new years resolutions, lack of funds and everyones overweight

Urgh!..can't stand the snow..I woke up this morning to a complete whiteness...Rubbing my eyes as I entered the bathroom only to realise it was bright as ever..was wondering if I got up late but it was the brightness from outside!...then I couldn't walk on heels so I had to take small steps like those chicks do in kimonos in Japan!

EG: plow truck? I am getting visions of that scary old guy in Home Alone...LOL. Can't imagine you driving one of those..you seem like such a delicate Gem..

Cap: I wonder if our Guru is loving the snow..He must've woken up to a surprise today..it was quite heavy and settled well..

p.s. I would trade places with you anyday..i really wnt to come to India..Actually was dicussing with a lady from work who wants to go to India in November..

Nah we don't get much snow where I am...although when we do...where I live usually sees the first of it!

I am a tomboy too..but I am soooooooooooo CRAP at the domestic stuff...

For instance my poor baby (car) has been cleaned once since i've had it and washed only once..and that was because my pisces brother said "you disgust me...call yourself a woman!, look at the state of your car"..hehe..so he took it in to be washed and cleaned...hahahaha...I got a cleaner once a week, now I just need a cook...I will make a terrible wife...

LOL..i am sure he won't...(if he knows whats good for him 😛

Puke @ the word Husband

LMAO @ Pet..haha..

I dunno...can't ever imagine saying "husband jee" LOL

Some poor bugger will have me one day I guess....

I wonder if it will be:

::drum roll::

Virgo....hmmmmm

Cap: "form of water i can see is in my refregrator "

LOL..aww..I will make a snowman in my back garden and call it Cap

Have you ever stood outside in the snow, lost in thought with one hand out to catch the snowflake??...I like those moments...

PM: "snow-woman"

Yama will be sooo proud