Scorpios: Is it THAT horrible falling in love?

I'm sitting here crying - full diclosure.

My on-hiatus Scorp was off hiatus for exactly three hours. He came over and we had dinner and talked. I opened up to him about my feelings and he ... stood up shouted "I'm falling in love with you, that's why I backed off, I'm FUCKING FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU." He was buzzed, but not drunk, but he looked ... deranged. And then he stormed out. Wouldn't answer my calls. Deleted me from all his social networking sites. Blocked me on instant messenger. All in the space of about two hours after he left my place. He texted me to "lose his number because I'm going to be losing yours."

And ... silence.

I'm devastated, but more than that, I'm stunned. When he was confessing, he looked like he was in a tankful of piranhas that were chewing his nuts off. Is it that bad, Scorps, really? I am not trying to stir up butter or make this into a thread of Scorp bashing. Please, let's not have that. I'm hurting and I'm sad and despite some of the crazy bullshit that goes on here, I think people genuinely care about each other, even when we don't agree. I don't understand. He has an emotional reaction to me that in my view is one of the best things in life (falling in love) and instead of marching me over to my bed so that we could fuck each other's brains out, he flips out and amputates me from his life?

I get it. It's hard to trust. His ex dumped him and married another guy. That sucks, and I'm not trying to be smart. It DOES suck. I understand. But is that a reason to run away from something that might be even better for you? My ex sat on my couch the night my dad died of cancer and held me and rocked me and told me he'd always love me. Two months later, when he was dumping me, he nonchalantly told me that he never really gave a fuck about me and that all his sweetness on the night my dad died was in hopes that I'd be distracted enough to let him fuck me in the ass as he'd been pleading for for months. He was dead serious. And like the Pisces he is, swam off with nary a look back. It gutted me, but I wasn't about to let some heartless bastard keep me back from finding love. Scorps ... what IS it about love that frightens some of you so? I don't understand. I don't think I ever will.

Hang in there BM. I had a similar experience with my scorp girl. Obviously she came back. But I honestly couldn't tell you what made her run...and I'm not even sure she could or would know how to tell me. In simple terms its a control thing, its confusing to be so in control one day and then not be. Running is an illusion of control.

Dont take this personally, its him.

BMP, this dude sounds like a bit of a drama queen if you ask me. But I'm not a Scorpio, so feel free to ignore my criticism of him.

Thanks guys. I feel a little better, but it's still really kind of sucky. The "it's not you, it's me" thing gets old really fast.

The question is WHY though?

Any scorps with a similar story or any insight that can shed some light on a hurting heart?

Ridiculous.


I know you cant help your feelings...but try.

PrincePisces, that's possible, but it's like throwing a meal you haven't tasted in the garbage because three years ago, some completely other meal gave you food poisoning. Give me the chance to hurt you FIRST before you toss me, geez! Not that I would do that, but to be dismissed because of something that MIGHT happen sucks for me.

Hahaha...scorps. You just gotta love em.

BullMoon, he's pissed off cuz you ?forced? him to spit it out in actual ? GASP! - words....cuz you just didn't friggin ?get? it non-verbally. You just HAD to make him lose control and admit the cold hard truth...LOL

Didn't I tell ya he isn't going anywhere? He still isn't. Give him a week or two to chill out then he'll be back. He's just feeling all scared and vulnerable.

I love the storming out part, don't you? I just love the whole.....theatrics of it. Mine has mastered the art. It usually follows after he's shrieked ?Why are you so FUCKING stubborn??

Yikes.

^^^ He hasnt cut her off. It just appears that way. Sometimes they get impulsive like that. He just feels vulnerable and is hoping she'll make the first step to reconcile things.

It took a whole lot for him to actually say "I love you". He's not going to walk away from that. He feels too much. He just needs some space....tis all.

No, Ferdy, I haven't. Been pretty upfront and honest while trying to temper my Arien bluntness.

Newbie, I dunno. I think this might be a wrap. I was tearing up in front of him which seemed to send him further into a rage.

Well I didnt say they're easy to understand...lol. Given the way he handled things I dont think she should make the first step to reconcile. I wouldnt.

I just think she needs to give him space and get on with her life until he makes contact again...then they can talk it over....rationally...or pretend it never happened (which is usually the scorp modus operandi) and move on as a couple...

I dont know....it's really up to her whether she wants him or not...cuz he's gonna come back to her. He's pretty much hers.

he sounds bipolar or something...he sounds alittle...off...

Newbie, no way am I making the first step. He screams in my face then tells me to "lose his number" because he's going to be losing mine? No. Arien pride won't let me bend here.

I hear what you're saying, but how am I supposed to take pulling away and utter silence (what he was doing while on hiatus) as "OMG, SO IN LOVE!" He shocked me with what he said. Until he started going off, I thought he was joking.

"I hear what you're saying, but how am I supposed to take pulling away and utter silence (what he was doing while on hiatus) as "OMG, SO IN LOVE!"

You dont...NOBODY would guess that's what it meant...which is why I always say...get on with your life. They ALWAYS come back and make things clear if they pulled away for that reason.

I never sat at home and analysed. When he ran off to "deep think" I was living my life until he made it clear he wanted a relationship with me and only me.

Newbie, this may be unrelated, but do you think my Taurus moon has anything to do with my current emotional reaction? I do remember your treatise on how Air moons were best to deal with Scorpios.

His moon is in Libra, incidentally. :/

"Newbie, this may be unrelated, but do you think my Taurus moon has anything to do with my current emotional reaction? I do remember your treatise on how Air moons were best to deal with Scorpios."

I think you have a great moon. Ok...just cuz I have an aqua moon doesnt mean I dont get emotional..hahaha.

I've also cried over my scorp...believe you me. It's just that I find it easier to pick myself up and let logic kick in.

So I think your emotional reaction is normal. Just try and pick yourself up now.

Thanks everyone. I feel better now. Long live DXPnet!

I'm going to go out, get some ice cream, watch some baseball and finish researching grad programs. Thinking about my dad got me thinking that life is too short to stress over anything. Onward!

FuckinA, I always smile when I see your avatar. It takes me back to when I used to tag along with my older brother to the arcade to watch him play Ms. Pacman.

Man, are there even arcades anymore?

Aww, I think there are people out there that love stirring up drama and shit, but I think for the most part, there's people who are genuinely interested in giving others good advice.

I think I have a love/hate relationship with female scorps...

we are either cool or I either can't fuckin stand them...

yep. falling in love is pretty horrible. the second you feel like you may be developing feelings for someone, the fears start creeping up and taking hold and the scorpio response is to force that person out of their lives because the alternative is to let them in and that is waaaay too scarey.

it is dramatics of course and in a few days, he will be thinking along totally different lines because he will have lost you in his eyes and so that will take a grip on him until he can not bear to be without you any longer.

his response was so passionate, and theatrical, that it indicates a seismic depth of feeling. when he feels he may have lost you, you will see a dramatic change in him. then he will be the opposite and rather than pushing you away, he will almost smother you with his depth of emotion and you will have absolutely no doubt in your mind what his feelings are.

is he a scorp/sag cusper by any chance?

i know it's hard but you really shouldn't be sad right now because it's not over for you and him by a long way. don't chase after him but if after a week or so you hear nothing, think of a really sweet way to 'reintroduce' yourself to him. he will be pushing thoughts of you from his mind - force them back in and he won't be able to resist.

awwwww. ::hugs::

So at what point does it end then? My impression is, 'never'. Is there never a point when you know for sure the drama is done, they are ready to trust..?

Aren't you just describing commotiment-phobes?

What about someone who talked about the future, holidays together etc, then did the whole 'Outta here!' stunt, and yet still seeks me out and blushes and stammers like a child?

Don't I get to decide how much to put up with?! Yep. Do I wish he had the guts to commit? Hell yes. Do I think he's *going* to?

Erm...

Hmm...

OK, I am so done.

He unblocked me on AIM and said he felt like a pussy for running out but that he wasn't sure of my feelings for him. So I spent 20 mins. telling him about my feelings for him. He doesn't say a word throughout the whole deal. Get knocked off AIM. Come back, he's still on and then I get BLOCKED again.

If this guy came crawling to me on his hands and knees over molten lava, I'm done. I think he's crazy. I don't feel bad about telling him the truth about my feelings, and I know that motherfucker read every word of what I said. Fine. Fuck this. Love sucks.

No, Agent X, he's a Nov. Scorp, but not near or on the cusp.

Ferdy, his bday is Nov. 9. He's 25.

Yep.

Times like this I wish I were lesbian. Or a nun. 🙂

ugh, capricorns can be crazy as hell, too. Yes, I did get ice cream! I wish I'd gotten more!

emgem: could you disagree a little less passionately perhaps? 😢

bullmoonparty: well there's no point grovelling after the man is there. his behaviour is way beyond rude and you are right to be angry. it all depends on how much you want him as to whether it will work out. he is giving you all the cues to hate him but will you?

whatever, you obviously need time apart until he finds planet earth again.

yeah, anotherscorp, i think you may have a point. i was going to ask BMP if there was any complications for you to have a relationship with this guy. it struck me that it was a little extreme to block you on AIM when he could just ignore you. also, are you trying to contact him still?

sometimes i blurt out all sorts of crap when i feel cornered and get the instant urge to run and hide. perhaps he really did decide to cut you dead.

whatever, it's not nice is it?

yeah, anotherscorp, i think you may have a point. i was going to ask BMP if there was any complications for you to have a relationship with this guy. it struck me that it was a little extreme to block you on AIM when he could just ignore you. also, are you trying to contact him still?

sometimes i blurt out all sorts of crap when i feel cornered and get the instant urge to run and hide. perhaps he really did decide to cut you dead.

whatever, it's not nice is it?

sag: there isn't a difference between blocking someone and ignoring them. blocking is more dramatic and scorpio-like though and i'm sure if i could work out how to do it i would do it too. block/unblock/block/unblock - all day long. as it is, i remain invisible 😉

anotherscorp: i haven't either and i'm still a scorpio through and through 😢

is MO, modus operandi?

God u poor girl.He sounds mad in the head.I wonder with that blocking and then unblocking after he knew you were still interested was him checking if he had pushed you too far and then when you were willing to speak to him again, did he decide to carry on his little bitch fit because he was getting away with it? I dunno he sounds a little unstable.

ha ha im new here can't believe they substitute b i t c h with cookiemonster. lol I love it 😄

no way not taking filter off i love cookiemonster its so much nicer a word lol
wat does P.s.l.m mean..im so internet retarded. i know nothing today

"Scorps all have that ability, why they all don't use it is a mystery"

GASP! And let go of sulking? NEVA!

"....my sentiments exactly...it is called 'the easy way out'"

I call it the "poor me" syndrome...

poor me...my sensitive little heart got trampled on...cuz I'm the only person in the whole wide world that's ever been hurt before so I think i'll just play around with the next person's feelings...I mean...that'd be fun...yeah...it'd be cool...cuz...boo hoo hoo...I feel so deeply and no one in the world has ever felt this deep before and....

:: yawn ::

"I am sorry but I can't stop thinking that some people are deluding themselves about what is really happening here."

I'm assuming that means that YOU know exactly what's happening here? Fair enough.

oh sure life would be boring if there wasn't drama occasionally. my last relationship nearly bored me to fucking tears

"Not all scorpios are the same just like not all sags are the same."

Every sign...every planet has a basic nature...this basic nature may be modified by other planets in the chart but the basic nature still exists. The repetitive behaviour being seen with these scorp men is the basic nature...period.

Astrology has been around for thousands of years. The ancients didn't just sit around and decide to come up with this cuz they were just friggin bored. There is a reason behind it. So just cuz someone doesn't agree with their basic nature or pretends it doesn't exists, do we decide...nah, it's all crap? I think not. Cuz even though you were to say, I am an eagle, all it means is that you have learnt to curb the tendencies of your basic nature...doesnt mean that basic nature isn't there. Dramatic pouting or not...that's how it is. Embrace your inner scorpion.

FA she's talking about me. Although...I have to laugh. The fact that I am open and honest about the ways of scorpio means I'm not compatible with scorpio? How naive is that?

I'm sorry...did ya want me to only sing about how wonderful scorpio is? Would that stop the pouting? Unbelievable.

I didn't even read through all of this and don't really have to .. SSDD


Why is it so damn difficult for people to do this?


You look at your girlfriends and can clearly see what's going on when their boyfriends are being screwy .. people are ABLE to know what's up with other people based off of a situation, for you come in here to answer everyone else's same goddam questions, don't ya?

So what ..... suddenly, when it involves you personally, your brain doesn't work any longer?


However you instructed your friends with these same scenerios .. it's the same for you now that you're in it .. no different.

If you know for them .. why don't you know for yourself?


Life isn't this damn hard .... people make it that way because they read so fucking much into it .. just live it for pete's sake.

"treetrunkin' A. I get what you are saying, but if we are going to play the astrology game then you need to look at who the majority of the people who are cookiemonstering about Scorp men are and that would be Aries and Taurus."

There's also aqua, libra...and on other forums there's been cancer, scorpio and leo so yeah...I think you just need to point your evident frustrations elsewhere.

And whatever your definition of incompatible is...I'm sure glad my hubby doesnt share the same sentiments as you.

"newbie,

Are you a Taurus or an Aries? Either way, you and I don't reprensent the entire spectrum for our signs either cuz it seems she's making it out that there are so many Taurus and Aries people who complain about Scorpios, which just isn't true."

I'm a bull.

"The people on this board mainly have consisted of Scorpios, Capricorns, a lot of Libras, and some Saggies and may be a Leo and Aquarius thrown in. In general though, there hasn't been a consistency in signs that complain about Scorpios. It seems just about ALL signs have the same issues and problems with this particular sign, which to me says there's a pattern of behavior that needs to be looked at. I mean we also get so many random names and people that come in and out that you don't even know their sign to say there's a consistency of signs not liking Scorpios."

Exactly. At this point I'm like WHATever. Can you say...D-R-A-M-A queen? LOL

"Astrology may not be the only reason why something is happening, but it holds true for a lot of stuff"

here here 😄

and everybody regardless of compatibility gets pissed off with the way scorps go on sometimes. They can act deranged!!!!

LMAO!! another thread deteriorates into astrological warfare LOL!

They are fun and lovely and can be brilliantly warm and sensitive people...but fucksake they can act like they need to be dragged off in a white jacket....

Lol....

No lets not fight lets all agree Scorps are mad. Full stop ha ha

"No lets not fight lets all agree Scorps are mad. Full stop ha ha"

LOL.

"when a person complaining too much sometimes it helps to look inside."

Yes, but sagigoat the point here is that it's not one person complaining here. It's a hell of a lot of women. In the first few years when I started doing relationship counselling...in real life not this virtual world...I spoke to pisces, cancer, aquarius, capricorn, aries....even SCORPIO.

Hahaha...scorpio women who couldnt friggin figure out scorpio men. It was hilarious. But the thing that was interesting was that it got to a point where I could guess the friggin man was a scorpio simply by the behavioural pattern.

"but treetrunksake they can act like they need to be dragged off in a white jacket...."

hahaha...I know...you're like...muah muah...goodnight darling...and dont forget your meds.

Ah yea sure it's all in good fun anyway at the end of the day... my own experience with Scorp men is der gonna do wat der gonna do anyway..regardless of whether you get upset anyways. so the originator of this thread shud resign herself to the fact his behaviour is out of her hands.
And try (as hard as it may be) to step back and look at the ridiculousness of this situation...he is punishing you because your so nice he loves you...
Sure how can ya be dealing with that atall...it's laugh or cry in that situation..and he's doing enough whiging for u both so SMILE and thank the lord ur not that crazy