The importance of Sex

So honstly how important is sex in relationships? If your partner won't do something sexually, does this make you start to loose interest in them, even if the other aspect of your sexlife are good? Do you just accept the sex you get? Does not getting everything you want through sex make your eyes wander?

eh?

Sex is important because there are just some things beyond explaining. Not getting any luvin' from my man doesn't make my eyes wander: it makes me question his lack of drive.

Could be stress, could be illness, could be any number of things. So, I'll investigate before I lose interest.

I'm speaking on specific acts. Not the lack of sex in any way, but certain things that they may want that you are not comfortable with or have no desire to do.

yeah whatever...i just have to have good sex..it cant be boring because it will make me wonder

you mean like a 3some?

Depends on the intensity of your love for your man. Sex is very very important. But if he loves you ad you him, and if the lack of sex is due to other factors like ill health, stress, family problems etc. as Afrasileira mentioned, then you can suppress those intense feelings and channelise them to some worthy course of action and pour all your passion and drive into it, and do something great....alll the while being loyal to your man.

But all the same being a Scorp, I breathe sex, if you get what I mean. And it would take all the will power in this world to quench the thirst, but when the intention is noble and the cause is something beyond our control, then we just have to adjust.....

To me sex is a part of life like breathing. If I'm with a man that can't perform because I have my period or he has the sniffles, well, I do lose interest. Sex is more than sex. It's the essence of 2 beings. Some are more lax in the bedroom. But, I need someone that is above and beyond my call of duty. Someone that calls ME the lazy one! That's a challenge I will always take!

Does not getting everything you want through sex make your eyes wander?

I don't get everything I want through sex, but if my long term sexual drive with a person cannot be met, then Yes! My eyes wander!

Even air turns me on so yes I would say sex is important..But sex only with someone I have committed myself wholly to and for the long haul..It needs to be intense..an out of body experience..I feel saddened when it isn't..I feel as though something is missing and that empty feeling is horrid..makes me feel cheap

"But, I need someone that is above and beyond my call of duty. Someone that calls ME the lazy one! "

"It needs to be intense..an out of body experience"

"And it would take all the will power in this world to quench the thirst"

We have engineers working on this problem.

"There were things he would not do because of his raising. But for me, there are no restrictions between two people in the bedroom. That's just the way it is. His loss."

Maybe he dint know how to play Golf.

LOL

Imo, I think sex is not everything but a big part of a relationship. Communicate and express to him what you feel. If he still wont, then maybe I would deal with this as long as I could but I feel in a relationship two people should be willing to try new things sometime. I wouldn't just settle and except because you deserve to be happy in every way. I'm sure this would get frustrating. My scorp and I seem to find a middle ground and it works for the both of us.

EG
".....and not to disparage my current scorp love. He makes a mighty fine runner-up! "

WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well all love and emotions aside (new relationship, not speaking the L word yet), I am the one who is more than satisfied with the sex, but I feel my Scorpio is disappointed in my lack of...um.. lets say adventurous spirit. We have discussed some of the things I do not feel comfy with, or have no desire to do and he reluctantly accepts it and tells me it's ok, but I am left wondering if he is eventually going to tire of what he is getting and want to wander to greener pastures so to speak.

Emeraldgem

He has brought it up a couple of times so I know it is something he is only "reluctantly accepting", leaving me to feel like I am not really pleasing him as I should (he does his job at pleasing me). Not a good situation.

"but I feel my Scorpio is disappointed in my lack of...um.. lets say adventurous spirit"

That is real serious. You have to shed ALL your inhibitions and be ready to enjoy and experience ANYTHING ......I mean ANYTHING to satisfy a Scorpio...Otherwise ........yes, there is Danger.

Above all we want our partner to initiate as much as we do.

What about Scorpio women and Libra men. Why do we get so emotional when Libras are their wishy washy playful, unserious self. I need help. I attract Libras like a magnet and I can never resist them!!! Somebody....

So basically Topazwoman do what he wants even if it is something I do not wish to do, or run the risk of loosing him. hmmmmmm I'm not liking this plan too much.

Message posted by: emeraldgem on 11/30/2006 1:23:00 PM
Although - to quote my scorp b/f who may or may not have stolen it from someone else:

"Sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad - it's still pretty good."

LoL, I have heard that before.

"if the guy comes into bed carrying a goat and wants a threesome - are you inhibited for saying NO——"

Good Point.

The thing is there is a world of things I will do, and only a select few things I won't, it just happens that some of those select few are things he wants. He seems happy with sex in general and we both want to continue to explore our options in bed with eachother, we just keep returning to this little snag and it really concernes me that it will turn into a huge problem eventually.

OK can I be blunt... are there positions that you don't like; do you not want to engage in oral sex; is it that you don't like the lights on, or are we talking threesomes, animals, and other extreme activities?

If it's positional or a personal hang up of yours that he wants to get past, then you should think about it. HOWEVER if it's something that seriously goes completely out there, then it's his issues that we should worry about.

Are we talking light bondage or are we talking gagging to unconscienceness bad porn movie sex?

Of course Emgem, we cannot force anyone to do what they do not want to do and

more than that we would never want anyone to do what they do not like to do.

But I would love my man to be the most kinky....and he has to be so enjoying it, that is whatever we are doing...I definitely do not want him to fake interest...

Yes, just as lavyvie was saying, I had oral sex in mind...Not anything else..

If it is oral that you are withholding, then I am sure that he would be wanting it real bad....

Think of it as a strawberry lollipop...

One thing is kind of a position thing. Nothing too off the wall kinky or anything like that. I have just done it before and did not like it at all!!!! I have no desire what so ever to do it again. I have already tried explaining it to him. That is one of the things that got a reluctant "ok fine"

LoL Oral is not a big issue for me. You know they make special flavor stuff just for that purpose.... Mmmmm strawberry

Not trying to paint him a bad guy emeraldgem. He just seemed very dissapointed that I won't do that. There are a few other areas that are a bit touchy, but I am trying to offer compromises on so he is happy too. The thing is he does allot to please me so some of this guilt I am laying on myself.

I don't doubt he should be pleasing me, and he does, more than previous men have, but I am also a 50/50 person and want to make sure I am returning the favor. I think thats why this is bothering me. He actually does his job compared to other men I have had and now I feel like I am the one falling short because I am denying him by setting up my boundaries.

I just wonder with him being a scorpio and all if being denied certain sexual pleasures is something he can deal with.

Message posted by: Roxijam on 11/30/2006 2:43:22 PM
"mamma roz........i told my ex i would be more than happy to give it a go if he tried it first with a dildo!!! "

I have said this before as well!! Not to my scorpio, but to other men before him.

LOL @ PIC...Hahaha..thats what my Sagi friend sent to the cancer guy she fancied for like a year...

Choc is overrated EG..Strawberry is where its at..Mmmmmmmmmmmm..Oral ecstacy

"Hahaha..thats what my Sagi friend sent to the cancer guy she fancied for like a year..."

whoa, sag female after a cancer guy? recipe for disaster

It didn't work...LOL..It was doomed from the start..never really took off..he's messed her head up totally!!..

are you serious? jesus, i was thinking the exact opposite. i got burnt really badly by a sag once... never again!

Are you cancer?

Well this cancer dude just totally played her, never met her alone, just fucked up her head totally..they got off with each other on the xmas party but thats about it..He could've had anything he wanted from her...but alas he was very reclusive...god knows what was wrong with him..I thought he was gay!

i keep hearing about how cancers mess with peoples' heads, but i just don't understand it. i'm a cancer/leo cusp and i never try to mess with anyones' head. how odd.

"while we're on a Cancer trip....do you reaaly hurt for a long time after a break up—
and what about a second smackdown,depending on if you'e still a parasite —?"

depends on how attached i am to the woman in question. if it's a casual thing, i can brush it off no problem. if i "love" her, then there's going to be a long healing process. what do you mean "second smackdown?" as in by the same person? it's more complicated... depends on why we broke up, where i am in my healing process... but generally i don't date someone again after after a break up. too many painful memories, and i kind of shut down emotionally towards that person.

Message posted by: missmorals on 11/30/2006 3:28:32 AM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.50
Even air turns me on so yes I would say sex is important..But sex only with someone I have committed myself wholly to and for the long haul..It needs to be intense..an out of body experience..I feel saddened when it isn't..I feel as though something is missing and that empty feeling is horrid..makes me feel cheap

for some reason, i agree 210% on this..i thought i was the only one thinking like this: the problem is.. men sometimes see sex as "a casual thing", and for us it's so much more..it has to have the ingredience of pure intense love with fireworks (or something close to it)

Yes...I fink thats your Scorpio rising talking..Apparantly the rising sign has more influence over your sun and moon..read that somewhere from the gazillions of web pages on Scorpio..LOL..

I only had that experience with the one person...and it hasn't happened again..Your souls have to connect..thats all I can say..its weird explaining it..

Fiddlesticks: "too many painful memories, and i kind of shut down emotionally towards that person."

Prolly why Scorp has gone into hiding..

And oh blingy...are you rekindling fires?