Understanding Scorpio, is it really over?

Hello everyone, This is my first time doing anything like this but I find myself looking for answers. I'm a taurus female, he's a male scorpio. We were together for 2.5 years and recently broke up in early December (right before xmas and new years.. th
  • Hello everyone,

    This is my first time doing anything like this but I find myself looking for answers. I'm a taurus female, he's a male scorpio. We were together for 2.5 years and recently broke up in early December (right before xmas and new years.. this totally sucked). In any case, we haven't spoken in 6 weeks but apparently he still has all my pictures and posts on his fb. He's also a part of a fitness fb group I belong to and the notifications tell me he views all my posts. Not hearing from him during the holidays and all really hurt me. My children are very fond of him and he didn't reach out at least to acknowledge my kids or anything. He's always been the type to blame me for everything and so I assumed this is his way of "punishing" me or is playing a game to see who can ignore who the most. Very immature.. but I wouldn't be surprised if this is what he's doing.

    In any case, about the break up.. I recently started a new job. He had been on me and making me feel bad for having been laid off of my previous job. I've worked my whole life and am accomplished, so his criticism was hurtful and demeaning(this is how I felt). Anyhow, we both knew that we would go from spending several days a week to one day a week or 2-3 days every two weeks. We both agreed it would be good for me to have some time to settle into my new job before considering staying over his place during the work week (he lives far from me and my work). On one of the few weekends we had designated to spend together, he messaged me to let me know he was going to hang out and smoke with his coworkers. Meaning, I was being put on hold and had to wait until he was done "hanging out" to see him. This was really upsetting. In my mind, he gets to see his coworkers all week, why did he have to pick one of our designated days to be with them? I was so excited to see him and felt second when I saw he wasn't as eager to see me. I told him to just hang out with his friends and that I would see him the next day instead. Well this turned into an explosive argument. He said I was over exaggerating and couldn't understand why I was hurt. He accused me of trying to control him and told me to go find another man to boss around. I've never been one to tell him what to do and feel that his smoking has gotten out of hand (he lied to me in the beginning and told me he hardly smoked) with his smoking 5-6 times a day for long periods of time. He was very disrespectful, said hurtful things, name called, etc.

    This isn't the first time he's been disrespectful and so I did what I thought was best.. I stood up for myself.. I told him it was over and I never responded to his many messages that followed. Contacting him would mean that his bad behavior was acceptable so I've stood my ground and haven't made any contact. Everyone keeps telling me he's probably waiting for me to make the first contact.. well that's never going to happen. Even before our split, things had been shaky. In the second year we've been together, he's become so negative and he hasn't been the nicest. I feel a lot of this has happened because he had some personal issues with his daughter that really effected him. Nonetheless, I have been there for him.. but I recognize that those are his issues.. not mine. I'm not his doormat for him to take things out on whenever he gets upset.. and it's often.

    I've begun to move on with my life but can't help but feel we've never really gotten closure. Maybe this is what he wants? To leave me in lingo? I don't know. I've been trying to make sense out of all this and especially his Facebook activity. As a taurus, even though we love someone.. when we feel disrespected, we move on. It doesn't matter if my heart still feels what it feels because I will always love him in some form or another, but it doesn't mean I have to be with him. I can't help but feel like he'll reappear later and be upset once he sees I've moved on. I'd love to hear all your feedback or input on any of this. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
  • nikkistar
    My moral compass acts like its in the Bermuda Triangle
    I am going to bullet this stuff

    1) Broke up 6 weeks ago
    2) Overanalyzing social media crap and looking into it more cause that's what all girls do
    3) You broke up with him
    4) Question why he didn't contact your kids on Christmas, which aren't his kids, and after you broke up
    5) Moved on

    Yet you are still on here asking about him?

    If you are going to move on, move the treetrunk on. I get so sick of these stupid threads of women wondering weeks later what this or that means.
  • Iridessaries
    female
    That smoking can be a probleem. I don't mind my bf smoking, I do it too. But I only do it on Friday or Saturday. When you smoke 3 or 4 daily, you became paranoid and stuck in negativity.
    As for of it is over, you 2 are the only ones with answer. I recognize the "punishing" from my scorpio. I don't see at his punishing anymore, more licking their wounds and hiding. Confrontation is scary for a scorpio I believe. And by standing your ground for the first time you probably scared him.

    Or...he's just a coward

    I have this "nasty" habit of always seeing the good in people. Try reflecting on what happpend and your pov. Then do it from his. I always do this for insight and how to better myself should a similar situation ever come up again
  • DMV
    anybody else wanna be a hero? Sag Sun Scorpio Moon Scorpio Merc
    36 years old
    It takes awhile 4 neone to emotionally leave a relationship.

    Some people dont take the time to delete everything off.social media.

    You wouldn't want your daughter dating some guy who calls her name and insults her.

    Let this one go
  • 13th
    scorp sun-bull moon-virgo asc
    Posted by nikkistar
    I am going to bullet this stuff

    1) Broke up 6 weeks ago
    2) Overanalyzing social media crap and looking into it more cause that's what all girls do
    3) You broke up with him
    4) Question why he didn't contact your kids on Christmas, which aren't his kids, and after you broke up
    5) Moved on

    Yet you are still on here asking about him?

    If you are going to move on, move the treetrunk on. I get so sick of these stupid threads of women wondering weeks later what this or that means.




    Oh thank goodness...I was hoping someone gave me the extra short version lol...kudos to u miss for reading all that :0
  • Bricks195
    Sun in Bull, Moon in Fish, etc. ENTJ
    male from USA
    Posted by Sweet_sassy
    Hello everyone,

    This is my first time doing anything like this but I find myself looking for answers. I'm a taurus female, he's a male scorpio. We were together for 2.5 years and recently broke up in early December (right before xmas and new years.. this totally sucked). In any case, we haven't spoken in 6 weeks but apparently he still has all my pictures and posts on his fb. He's also a part of a fitness fb group I belong to and the notifications tell me he views all my posts. Not hearing from him during the holidays and all really hurt me. My children are very fond of him and he didn't reach out at least to acknowledge my kids or anything. He's always been the type to blame me for everything and so I assumed this is his way of "punishing" me or is playing a game to see who can ignore who the most. Very immature.. but I wouldn't be surprised if this is what he's doing.

    In any case, about the break up.. I recently started a new job. He had been on me and making me feel bad for having been laid off of my previous job. I've worked my whole life and am accomplished, so his criticism was hurtful and demeaning(this is how I felt). Anyhow, we both knew that we would go from spending several days a week to one day a week or 2-3 days every two weeks. We both agreed it would be good for me to have some time to settle into my new job before considering staying over his place during the work week (he lives far from me and my work). On one of the few weekends we had designated to spend together, he messaged me to let me know he was going to hang out and smoke with his coworkers. Meaning, I was being put on hold and had to wait until he was done "hanging out" to see him. This was really upsetting. In my mind, he gets to see his coworkers all week, why did he have to pick one of our designated days to be with them? I was so excited to see him and felt second when I saw he wasn't as eager to see me. I told him to just hang out with his friends and that I would see him the next day instead. Well this turned into an explosive argument. He said I was over exaggerating and couldn't understand why I was hurt. He accused me of trying to control him and told me to go find another man to boss around. I've never been one to tell him what to do and feel that his smoking has gotten out of hand (he lied to me in the beginning and told me he hardly smoked) with his smoking 5-6 times a day for long periods of time. He was very disrespectful, said hurtful things, name called, etc.

    This isn't the first time he's been disrespectful and so I did what I thought was best.. I stood up for myself.. I told him it was over and I never responded to his many messages that followed. Contacting him would mean that his bad behavior was acceptable so I've stood my ground and haven't made any contact. Everyone keeps telling me he's probably waiting for me to make the first contact.. well that's never going to happen. Even before our split, things had been shaky. In the second year we've been together, he's become so negative and he hasn't been the nicest. I feel a lot of this has happened because he had some personal issues with his daughter that really effected him. Nonetheless, I have been there for him.. but I recognize that those are his issues.. not mine. I'm not his doormat for him to take things out on whenever he gets upset.. and it's often.

    I've begun to move on with my life but can't help but feel we've never really gotten closure. Maybe this is what he wants? To leave me in lingo? I don't know. I've been trying to make sense out of all this and especially his Facebook activity. As a taurus, even though we love someone.. when we feel disrespected, we move on. It doesn't matter if my heart still feels what it feels because I will always love him in some form or another, but it doesn't mean I have to be with him. I can't help but feel like he'll reappear later and be upset once he sees I've moved on. I'd love to hear all your feedback or input on any of this. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

    I'm not an marker, so I'll respond to you respectfully.

    I don't think you need closure. I think that's a trap. You still have some residual feelings for him and things feel unfinished. You need to convince yourself that it really is over before you seek him out again to resolve this in your head and end up back with him.

    He sounds like jerk. Regardless of his personal problems, he should've had enough respect for you to treat you well. He didn't and got what he deserved.

    Let him go rot. You don't need that crap. Your kids don't need to see that crap. They don't need his acknowledgment. Best thing for you and your kids is probably to never have to deal with him again. Clean break.
  • Posted by Bricks195
    Posted by Sweet_sassy

    I'm not an marker, so I'll respond to you respectfully.

    I don't think you need closure. I think that's a trap. You still have some residual feelings for him and things feel unfinished. You need to convince yourself that it really is over before you seek him out again to resolve this in your head and end up back with him.

    He sounds like jerk. Regardless of his personal problems, he should've had enough respect for you to treat you well. He didn't and got what he deserved.

    Let him go rot. You don't need that crap. Your kids don't need to see that crap. They don't need his acknowledgment. Best thing for you and your kids is probably to never have to deal with him again. Clean break.
    click to expand


    Thank you for your respectful response. I appreciate that. There's so much more to the story but there's only so much I can write here without it turning into a novel. You're correct, there are residual feelings. After being friends with someone for 10 years and dating them for 2.5 years, that's expected. So perhaps this is why I had hoped we'd be able to talk like two adults after some time has passed just to bring some peace and closure to it. My children and I don't need a disrespectful man in our lives, henceforth, the break up. In retrospect, it was more of a mutual break up, and that's why I've questioned his social media actions. Not that it truly changes anything, but I find that odd. So I've been curious.. Thanks again Bricks195 for taking the time to read/respond.
  • I see you've already been helped and made your mind but just wanted to tell you that you did the right thing. If he did not man up and respect his woman before, he wont change ever.
  • He sounds like an marker. You don't need him demeaning you. Move on. Find someone kinder, especially since you have kids
  • Impulsv
    " http://youtu.be/25-JZp0CqsY"
    43 years old female
    Posted by Iridessaries
    That smoking can be a probleem. I don't mind my bf smoking, I do it too. But I only do it on Friday or Saturday. When you smoke 3 or 4 daily, you became paranoid and stuck in negativity.
    As for of it is over, you 2 are the only ones with answer. I recognize the "punishing" from my scorpio. I don't see at his punishing anymore, more licking their wounds and hiding. Confrontation is scary for a scorpio I believe. And by standing your ground for the first time you probably scared him.

    Or...he's just a coward

    I have this "nasty" habit of always seeing the good in people. Try reflecting on what happpend and your pov. Then do it from his. I always do this for insight and how to better myself should a similar situation ever come up again


    Mmm op broke up
    What more is there for him to do
    He won't reach out
  • Impulsv
    " http://youtu.be/25-JZp0CqsY"
    43 years old female
    Posted by Bricks195
    Posted by Sweet_sassy
    Hello everyone,

    This is my first time doing anything like this but I find myself looking for answers. I'm a taurus female, he's a male scorpio. We were together for 2.5 years and recently broke up in early December (right before xmas and new years.. this totally sucked). In any case, we haven't spoken in 6 weeks but apparently he still has all my pictures and posts on his fb. He's also a part of a fitness fb group I belong to and the notifications tell me he views all my posts. Not hearing from him during the holidays and all really hurt me. My children are very fond of him and he didn't reach out at least to acknowledge my kids or anything. He's always been the type to blame me for everything and so I assumed this is his way of "punishing" me or is playing a game to see who can ignore who the most. Very immature.. but I wouldn't be surprised if this is what he's doing.

    In any case, about the break up.. I recently started a new job. He had been on me and making me feel bad for having been laid off of my previous job. I've worked my whole life and am accomplished, so his criticism was hurtful and demeaning(this is how I felt). Anyhow, we both knew that we would go from spending several days a week to one day a week or 2-3 days every two weeks. We both agreed it would be good for me to have some time to settle into my new job before considering staying over his place during the work week (he lives far from me and my work). On one of the few weekends we had designated to spend together, he messaged me to let me know he was going to hang out and smoke with his coworkers. Meaning, I was being put on hold and had to wait until he was done "hanging out" to see him. This was really upsetting. In my mind, he gets to see his coworkers all week, why did he have to pick one of our designated days to be with them? I was so excited to see him and felt second when I saw he wasn't as eager to see me. I told him to just hang out with his friends and that I would see him the next day instead. Well this turned into an explosive argument. He said I was over exaggerating and couldn't understand why I was hurt. He accused me of trying to control him and told me to go find another man to boss around. I've never been one to tell him what to do and feel that his smoking has gotten out of hand (he lied to me in the beginning and told me he hardly smoked) with his smoking 5-6 times a day for long periods of time. He was very disrespectful, said hurtful things, name called, etc.

    This isn't the first time he's been disrespectful and so I did what I thought was best.. I stood up for myself.. I told him it was over and I never responded to his many messages that followed. Contacting him would mean that his bad behavior was acceptable so I've stood my ground and haven't made any contact. Everyone keeps telling me he's probably waiting for me to make the first contact.. well that's never going to happen. Even before our split, things had been shaky. In the second year we've been together, he's become so negative and he hasn't been the nicest. I feel a lot of this has happened because he had some personal issues with his daughter that really effected him. Nonetheless, I have been there for him.. but I recognize that those are his issues.. not mine. I'm not his doormat for him to take things out on whenever he gets upset.. and it's often.

    I've begun to move on with my life but can't help but feel we've never really gotten closure. Maybe this is what he wants? To leave me in lingo? I don't know. I've been trying to make sense out of all this and especially his Facebook activity. As a taurus, even though we love someone.. when we feel disrespected, we move on. It doesn't matter if my heart still feels what it feels because I will always love him in some form or another, but it doesn't mean I have to be with him. I can't help but feel like he'll reappear later and be upset once he sees I've moved on. I'd love to hear all your feedback or input on any of this. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

    I'm not an marker, so I'll respond to you respectfully.

    I don't think you need closure. I think that's a trap. You still have some residual feelings for him and things feel unfinished. You need to convince yourself that it really is over before you seek him out again to resolve this in your head and end up back with him.

    He sounds like jerk. Regardless of his personal problems, he should've had enough respect for you to treat you well. He didn't and got what he deserved.

    Let him go rot. You don't need that crap. Your kids don't need to see that crap. They don't need his acknowledgment. Best thing for you and your kids is probably to never have to deal with him again. Clean break.
    click to expand


    No no no op don't ever reach out if u have no intentions to return
    It will be cruel for him as he might think there is hope
    Also he might not want to see u
  • Why? Why anyone will stay with person after first act of disrespect or worse?
    How is it even normal?

    Idk...is it sex or what???
  • PhoenixRising
    I'm nothing you think and everything you feel....❤
    I'm late to the party, but I'll respond anyway:

    Posted by Sweet_sassy

    I've begun to move on with my life but can't help but feel we've never really gotten closure....

    Maybe this is what he wants? To leave me in lingo? To leave me in lingo?

    Ummm what? Leave you in limbo? You ended it did you not? You've moved on, or so you're claiming. There is absolutely nothing wrong with still having feelings for this man, but don't front.

    What "closure" is required? You ended things. Rather abruptly at that, and choose to ignore his attempts to reach out because you were upset, so I'm not sure what more you would be looking for. Especially him contacting you over the holiday? Naw, you lost that.

    Your "break up" was clearly about more than simply wanting to end things and he's aware of this. Hence the silence. He's not interested in playing your game, or so it is coming off based on the contradiction you've written here. Why exactly would it matter who reaches out first if you're done?

    As for the FB activities, Scorps aren't robots. The mask cracks. He still looks at your pics because he cares. That didn't end simply because you ended things, but I wouldn't connect any more meaning than that. Caring doesn't mean he's gonna put himself out there anymore and that isn't about waiting to see who cries "chicken" first. For you to expect so speaks to something else.




  • PhoenixRising
    I'm nothing you think and everything you feel....❤
    ^^^con't
    Posted by Sweet_sassy

    I can't help but feel like he'll reappear later and be upset once he sees I've moved on.

    Yeah, that's not your problem. His feelings are his to own and manage. Be respectful, but keep it moving. That's you're only responsibility.
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