Bull-ish
@Boots1313
7 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 2429 · Posts: 2637 · Topics: 65
Am I being a brat?
$ 400 is no chump change - I think he most likely thinks he did something huge which he did. A lot of men are not the "cards and gifts" type ... you can't expect someone to do what you would do - everyone is different
Posted by WarAngel1
Brat.
Thank you, still upset by it tho.
I understand his grsture, that's why I haven't brought it up and I have thanked him about 1000xs for picking up the bills
Posted by tctaaTrue, and I know in his mind he thinks this is him showing my family and friends he can "provide for me" very taurean. But I'm use to tangible gifts, even when they weren't ideal...I guess in reality this is better because I really don't NEED anything materialistic...I do like cards tho
$ 400 is no chump change - I think he most likely thinks he did something huge which he did. A lot of men are not the "cards and gifts" type ... you can't expect someone to do what you would do - everyone is different
Posted by tizianiI just like cards lol, maybe I'm old schhol. I perfect cards over material objects.
Tell him that you would prefer a card?
It's better to be open about it.
Posted by The_Mad_H8RLol honestly year I would prefer a 2 $ card and skittles hshahs...
Tell him.. I'm sure he'd rather spend $ 12 next year on a card and a pack of juicy fruit next year...
$ 400? What? Your friends couldn't BYOB?
I live in NY everything is expensive...
My friends offered to pay but my guy insister on it.
Like I said I did thank him 1000xs for it. I just thought there would be a gift too.
Posted by Boots1313in the right time and place, tell him what you like so that in the future he has all the ammunition to make you happy - granted, even when some men know, they still sort of stubbornly do what they want to do - I have been personally confused by this but it is what it is sometimesPosted by tctaa
$ 400 is no chump change - I think he most likely thinks he did something huge which he did. A lot of men are not the "cards and gifts" type ... you can't expect someone to do what you would do - everyone is different
True, and I know in his mind he thinks this is him showing my family and friends he can "provide for me" very taurean. But I'm use to tangible gifts, even when they weren't ideal...I guess in reality this is better because I really don't NEED anything materialistic...I do like cards thoclick to expand
Posted by WarAngel1He's a very simple guy. We kind-of have a 50/50 relationship. We both equally take care of eachother.Posted by Boots1313Posted by WarAngel1
Brat.
Thank you, still upset by it tho.
I understand his grsture, that's why I haven't brought it up and I have thanked him about 1000xs for picking up the bills click to expand
To put this issue to bed once and for all, a question:
Does he take care of you in other ways during your time together? If yes, let it go. If no, address it. click to expandclick to expand
Yes I'm content.
I won't bring it up to him, you're right not hugely important in the grand scheme of things
Posted by ScorpioTruthPosted by tiziani
Tell him that you would prefer a card?
It's better to be open about it.
Bingo.
Why don’t people believe in communicating anymore? click to expandclick to expand
Lol we communicate I just don't want to seem petty, because I know he thinks he's the man for paying.
He even said "I'm golden for the next week now" hahah...he can be a bit egotist
Yes you're being a brat.
Posted by The_Mad_H8RHAHAHA yeah I hear you.Posted by Boots1313Posted by The_Mad_H8R
Tell him.. I'm sure he'd rather spend $ 12 next year on a card and a pack of juicy fruit next year...
$ 400? What? Your friends couldn't BYOB?
Lol honestly year I would prefer a 2 $ card and skittles hshahs...
I live in NY everything is expensive...
My friends offered to pay but my guy insister on it.
Like I said I did thank him 1000xs for it. I just thought there would be a gift too. click to expand
I have to really really know... not just like.. but know someone to buy a card for them period.. essentially you are paying someone to express your thoughts, but it's cookie cutter crap and sometimes they don't say enough or they add extra that makes the recipient think more than it meant..Awkward.. here, just take this gift card to Applebee's and a high five click to expandclick to expand
Nownimnlaughing about thebistuation.
It helps to hear from strangers when you're being ridiculous. ..really puts things in perspective
Posted by ScorpioTruthSubtle hints, got it 🙂Posted by Boots1313Posted by ScorpioTruthPosted by tiziani
Tell him that you would prefer a card?
It's better to be open about it.
Bingo.
Why don’t people believe in communicating anymore? click to expand
Lol we communicate I just don't want to seem petty, because I know he thinks he's the man for paying.
He even said "I'm golden for the next week now" hahah...he can be a bit egotist click to expand
You have a Libra rising like me lol we worry too much about how we seem to other people, don’t want to be petty, don’t want to rock the boat... etc. I am the same way. But it’s all about the tone and how you lead the conversation. For instance, if your mom or dad or sister etc bought you card, tell him how much it meant to you to hear what they wrote to you etc and maybe he will get the hint click to expandclick to expand
Serious question,...was he aware it was your bday?
my bull is dreadful with that sort of stuff. dread.ful. the worst. ever.
to be honest, yeah it upset and hurt me at the start. i looked a little too deeply and started to analyse it which was a waste of time. now as the years have gone by, i realise it is just who he is. he's just really shit at birthdays and gifts. one year he forgot my birthday even though it is a day after his dad's. he forgot his dad's too. what can you say to that?
i accept it that that is just him. i remind him now of important days. how far my reminders get me i don't know. as of today, he still owes me a promised christmas present. smh. his heart is in the right place.
to be honest, yeah it upset and hurt me at the start. i looked a little too deeply and started to analyse it which was a waste of time. now as the years have gone by, i realise it is just who he is. he's just really shit at birthdays and gifts. one year he forgot my birthday even though it is a day after his dad's. he forgot his dad's too. what can you say to that?
i accept it that that is just him. i remind him now of important days. how far my reminders get me i don't know. as of today, he still owes me a promised christmas present. smh. his heart is in the right place.
eh...just IMO, but yes I think that's way too practical, and more of a favor than a gift...money is easy...you either have it to give or you don't....generosity is a good quality but I think, on special occasions, most women prefer something more demonstrative/sentimental...obviously you do....both VinGems right? Shouldn't be too hard to get your point across....
Posted by LadyNeptuneYes, he knew. He also kept saying he had something planned. .but nothing ever happen. Unless he has a surprise this weekend? Doubt it tho...
Serious question,...was he aware it was your bday?
He didn't do anything for his birthday eithetr...I think I was the ONLY one who cared it was his birthday last month. His mom didn't even do/get him anything
Posted by jeaneThank you Jeane, this makes me feel so much better. I thought maybe it showed a lack of interest for me.
my bull is dreadful with that sort of stuff. dread.ful. the worst. ever.
to be honest, yeah it upset and hurt me at the start. i looked a little too deeply and started to analyse it which was a waste of time. now as the years have gone by, i realise it is just who he is. he's just really butter at birthdays and gifts. one year he forgot my birthday even though it is a day after his dad's. he forgot his dad's too. what can you say to that?
i accept it that that is just him. i remind him now of important days. how far my reminders get me i don't know. as of today, he still owes me a promised christmas present. smh. his heart is in the right place.
In so many other ways he shows me he cares though, So I really shouldn't question it.
But I'll subtly mention something to him next occassion.
Posted by Boots1313the good thing about them is that they are trainable! if it's important to you, i have no doubt that he'll try to express his feelings to you in a way that you treasure. if his heart is in the right place that's all the matters really.Posted by jeane
my bull is dreadful with that sort of stuff. dread.ful. the worst. ever.
to be honest, yeah it upset and hurt me at the start. i looked a little too deeply and started to analyse it which was a waste of time. now as the years have gone by, i realise it is just who he is. he's just really butter at birthdays and gifts. one year he forgot my birthday even though it is a day after his dad's. he forgot his dad's too. what can you say to that?
i accept it that that is just him. i remind him now of important days. how far my reminders get me i don't know. as of today, he still owes me a promised christmas present. smh. his heart is in the right place.
Thank you Jeane, this makes me feel so much better. I thought maybe it showed a lack of interest for me.
In so many other ways he shows me he cares though, So I really shouldn't question it.
But I'll subtly mention something to him next occassion. click to expandclick to expand
i can appreciate that the card itself doesn't matter all that much to you, it's the feeling of insecurity, fear and vulnerability that its absence stirs. if you can deal with those very natural reactions (and sometimes it just takes time) then you'll find a good balance with this.
Posted by Metatron
eh...just IMO, but yes I think that's way too practical, and more of a favor than a gift...money is easy...you either have it to give or you don't....generosity is a good quality but I think, on special occasions, most women prefer something more demonstrative/sentimental...obviously you do....both VinGems right? Shouldn't be too hard to get your point across....
We have only been seenin each other a little over 3 months...just a conversation we need to discuss. Both our birthdays came up within the first 3 months of dating.
Yes both gem venus' luckily we easily can discuss topics and issues with ease and wit
Posted by TimonI never expressed it. I just figured that's what people typically do...all my other past relationships I never mentioned I liked cards or little sentimental gifts, they just got them for me. I assumed this was standard (you know what assuming does lol)
Let's face it. Some men are terrible with these things. I personally would want something smaller and meaningful also. Did he wish you happy birthday? I'm sure if he knew a smaller and more personal gift was going to make you more happy he would gladly not have wasted 400 $ and got you what you wanted instead. Have you expressed that you prefer more personal gifts because they are not mind readers?
Also I got him small gifts and I made him a card and put on the inside funny, inside jokes (nothing too mushy). Kind of just expected if he wasn't sure that he would have followed my lead (again assuming)
Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsExtremely generous, not doubting that. Just questioning if this is the norm. If this is his way of showing love and care for me, it's cool by me, just I have a different love language. Nothing that a little communication can't solve for next time.Posted by Boots1313Posted by Metatron
eh...just IMO, but yes I think that's way too practical, and more of a favor than a gift...money is easy...you either have it to give or you don't....generosity is a good quality but I think, on special occasions, most women prefer something more demonstrative/sentimental...obviously you do....both VinGems right? Shouldn't be too hard to get your point across....
We have only been seenin each other a little over 3 months...just a conversation we need to discuss. Both our birthdays came up within the first 3 months of dating.
Yes both gem venus' luckily we easily can discuss topics and issues with ease and wit click to expand
$ 400 after only 3 months of dating is exceptionally generous IMO. Some people would be considering whether to get anything at all at that stage. Still though if you appreciate the gesture of cards there is nothing wrong with saying that. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by Boots1313Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by Boots1313Posted by Metatron
eh...just IMO, but yes I think that's way too practical, and more of a favor than a gift...money is easy...you either have it to give or you don't....generosity is a good quality but I think, on special occasions, most women prefer something more demonstrative/sentimental...obviously you do....both VinGems right? Shouldn't be too hard to get your point across....
We have only been seenin each other a little over 3 months...just a conversation we need to discuss. Both our birthdays came up within the first 3 months of dating.
Yes both gem venus' luckily we easily can discuss topics and issues with ease and wit click to expand
$ 400 after only 3 months of dating is exceptionally generous IMO. Some people would be considering whether to get anything at all at that stage. Still though if you appreciate the gesture of cards there is nothing wrong with saying that. click to expand
Extremely generous, not doubting that. Just questioning if this is the norm. If this is his way of showing love and care for me, it's cool by me, just I have a different love language. Nothing that a little communication can't solve for next time.
click to expand
Yeah, I like that about your post. You're just asking if your expectations are right. Other people who have posted topics like this would be having a fit right now if other posters disagreed with them. click to expandclick to expand
Lol thank you. For the most part I'm pretty rational and I'm not really materialistic.
Just needed some advice and guidance before approaching him. I'm not beyond admitting when I'm being a brat or selfish. We all need a virtual reality slap once in awhile.
Thank you for your help!
Posted by jeaneTaurean one-track mindedness, practicality, + laziness....you need to whip some romanticism into that bull....
my bull is dreadful with that sort of stuff. dread.ful. the worst. ever.
to be honest, yeah it upset and hurt me at the start. i looked a little too deeply and started to analyse it which was a waste of time. now as the years have gone by, i realise it is just who he is. he's just really shit at birthdays and gifts. one year he forgot my birthday even though it is a day after his dad's. he forgot his dad's too. what can you say to that?
i accept it that that is just him. i remind him now of important days. how far my reminders get me i don't know. as of today, he still owes me a promised christmas present. smh. his heart is in the right place.
Female bulls and male bulls seem completely different when it comes to this subject. Lol..or maybe it's just a male /female difference in general
Posted by TimonPosted by Boots1313Posted by Timon
Let's face it. Some men are terrible with these things. I personally would want something smaller and meaningful also. Did he wish you happy birthday? I'm sure if he knew a smaller and more personal gift was going to make you more happy he would gladly not have wasted 400 $ and got you what you wanted instead. Have you expressed that you prefer more personal gifts because they are not mind readers?
I never expressed it. I just figured that's what people typically do...all my other past relationships I never mentioned I liked cards or little sentimental gifts, they just got them for me. I assumed this was standard (you know what assuming does lol)
Also I got him small gifts and I made him a card and put on the inside funny, inside jokes (nothing too mushy). Kind of just expected if he wasn't sure that he would have followed my lead (again assuming) click to expand
Yeh but some men are not very romantic. I guess he is more practical. He probably thinks you would be really happy about it. At least he did something and 400 $ is not little even if it wasn't what you wanted. At least he remembered your birthday lol. click to expandclick to expand
Lol I agree. Like I said if that's HIS way of showing me he cares/likes me/can provide for me that's fine, I can deal with it.
Imo you’re being a brat just like a kid who doesn’t get the present, they wanted for their birthday then sulks over it. If someone dropped $ 400 of their hard earned money on me, I would consider that my gift and be happy with their generosity. But then again, that’s just me and I know not everyone feels the same when it comes to things like this. If you don’t like it, then just let him know that you would’ve preferred something else and we will usually accommodate to something more of your fancy.
Posted by MetatronPosted by jeane
my bull is dreadful with that sort of stuff. dread.ful. the worst. ever.
to be honest, yeah it upset and hurt me at the start. i looked a little too deeply and started to analyse it which was a waste of time. now as the years have gone by, i realise it is just who he is. he's just really shit at birthdays and gifts. one year he forgot my birthday even though it is a day after his dad's. he forgot his dad's too. what can you say to that?
i accept it that that is just him. i remind him now of important days. how far my reminders get me i don't know. as of today, he still owes me a promised christmas present. smh. his heart is in the right place.
Taurean one-track mindedness, practicality, + laziness....you need to whip some romanticism into that bull.... click to expandclick to expand
ha! thanks, i will try!
i don't think it is laziness (well, maybe a little) i just know the kid is very busy with running his businesses and dealing with the rest of his responsibilities. while he is dealing with all the raging fires that spring up everyday, the less squeaky wheel (me and my birthday) can take second place to all of that.
he has his romantic moments but yes, you're right, more nagging required!!
Posted by LentoBull91I'm not beyond admitting I'm being a brat. I thanked him for his geberousity, it's just simply not something I'm use to.
Imo you’re being a brat just like a kid who doesn’t get the present, they wanted for their birthday then sulks over it. If someone dropped $ 400 of their hard earned money on me, I would consider that my gift and be happy with their generosity. But then again, that’s just me and I know not everyone feels the same when it comes to things like this. If you don’t like it, then just let him know that you would’ve preferred something else and we will usually accommodate to something more of your fancy.
It made me kind of question his interst in me. If this is his way of showing his care for me, I'm okay with this moving forward. Just wanted to make sure this is reasonable and not him having a lack of interst in me.
I'm not ungrateful, I could have taken a 5 $ card and been happy. Im.not materialistic and tbh there isn't much I need or want.
He's a real man, no one has ever spent $ on me like thay, and i know his mind set. This is his way of showing he can provide and I'm grateful and happy for that.
Just be grateful.you have someone who loves you. Ive never had anyone spend anywhere near $ 400 on me. Jesus christ thats A LOT OF MONEY.
Keep this brat thing to yourself for awhile so that he doesnt feel insulted by your lack of appreciation for what he did do. In a few weeks bring up how cards are your favorite expression of love, something along those lines. That way he knows in the FUTURE. The last thing you want to do with anyone, is make them feel unappreciated. That is the fastest way to have someone STOP showing appreciation.
he spent money so you could have a good birthday.
sounds like he made a big contribution
I took my boyfriend on a trip and paid for hotel and tickets
then we split everything else. that was my gift, taking him on a MEMORABLE trip.
if you want a gift next time instead of something MEMORABLE
them be straight forward what you want as a gift.
sounds like he made a big contribution
I took my boyfriend on a trip and paid for hotel and tickets
then we split everything else. that was my gift, taking him on a MEMORABLE trip.
if you want a gift next time instead of something MEMORABLE
them be straight forward what you want as a gift.
Posted by Boots1313Taurus females and males are soooo different to me. Married a Taurus and have Taurus besties.
Female bulls and male bulls seem completely different when it comes to this subject. Lol..or maybe it's just a male /female difference in general
My Taurus female friends? Special gifts (never spend a lot of money. Like ever.)
My ex? Would pay for everything and everyone while out. (Funny because this got hard when I realized it was all on credit cards and that debt became mine when we got married. 😂😂😳.)
Anyway, after a while he started getting me little things and cards because I talked to him about it. By year 5 it was like 3 cards and 10 gifts because he couldn’t decide what to get. 😂
Talk to him. Otherwise you do sound like a brat! 😂
Posted by Boots1313Out of curiosity....Posted by tiziani
Tell him that you would prefer a card?
It's better to be open about it.
I just like cards lol, maybe I'm old schhol. I perfect cards over material objects. click to expandclick to expand
If you could pick which one would you pick: 1) > $ 20 Birthday Card or $ 400 dinner tab?
^ meant
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My birthday passed a few days ago and I'm still waiting for a present from my significant other.
He seemed to me like the type of guy who would have moved moubrains for my birthday, instead I'm left feeling confused.
Now, he didn't not do anything for me...he stayed at my place the whole weekend...friday, sat and Sunday. He picked up the bill Friday and Saturday night when I went out with my friends and family (which was very considerate and I'm grateful for) ~400 $ .
But that was it. No card, nothing tangible. I'm okay with the gesture of paying but I'm confused if he's just more pratical? Are my expectations too high? Or is he just not that into me?
His birthday was at the end of April and I got him a few things and made him some artwork for his place. He said they were the most thoughtful gifts he's ever received.
I'm just kind of upset about it. Let me know if I'm being a brat or ridiculous.