Are all Taurus men SO controlling??

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by TxOgal on Friday, July 14, 2017 and has 51 replies.

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Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

I am currently seeing a taurus (I am one too) Ive been seeing him for nearly 4 months until we had a fall out last night.. (I am not sure where this is going now) It is an LDR but we managed to meet up and spent days together. I am in love with him already and he was going to officially propose to me next month when he planned to return (now I doubt it).

Obviously everything was going amazingly well, although we had some arguments before that we managed to discuss and resolve them every time, and I always thought this is part of any relationship and that most days I was feeling happy, loved and cared for in ways that I admire. We also have so many things in common, so that too always brings us closer again.

Now comes the ugly part.. He is extremely jealous and ofcourse it started subtly, like not wanting me to hang out with guy friends, and not chatting with them. Once he even got angry at me cause a guy friend called me n I didnt pick up (which he apologized about after me standing my ground and telling him nothing is my fault here and ge told me to promise him not to let himself ruin our relationship). But to that extent he gets jealous!!

First I thought I can put up with it and that I dont have guy friends anyway, they are mostl ppl i just know/met throughout my life. Now, a new thing! He tells me he doesnt want me to talk to any guy even if hes a work colleague, even if we talk about work. But, he can do that, he's a man after all. Evenmore he tells me he doesnt need to tell me where hes at or who he meets, but I HAVE TO.l, cause i'm a woman. Well..... This is nonsense to me and even when I tried to calmly convince him by my point of view, he was so stubborn and couldnt comprehend what im saying. Said he wont change and its up to me to accept him with his flaws n that I should make up my mind before talking to him.

P.S. He was already mad which i figured later, he had a problem with his family that day, but still I think that is his opinion anyway even if he was in a good mood.

Is this normal? TAURUS MEN a little help here?

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

I forgot to mention that he also brought up that he knew i was hesitant when he proposed to me and that he felt me being hesitant when he told me that he comes from a simple family. And how i'd want a guy who runs a couple of companies n from huge family and all that.

I never mentioned this. I love him deeply and I was intimate with him. I accepted his proposal to me, he just caught me off guard when he said it.

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by TxOgal
I forgot to mention that he also brought up that he knew i was hesitant when he proposed to me and that he felt me being hesitant when he told me that he comes from a simple family. And how i'd want a guy who runs a couple of companies n from huge family and all that.

I never mentioned this. I love him deeply and I was intimate with him. I accepted his proposal to me, he just caught me off guard when he said it.

How long into the relationship did he propose?

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

I mean...he's being upfront with you and telling you how it's gonna be if you choose to make your life with him.

Can you live with being isolated from the male population, deal with his jealousy, all while accepting that the rules don't apply to him? If so, he's your guy.

Profile picture of boxcarmirnta
@boxcarmirnta
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Youve only just started dating.....you BARELY know this guy and its a LDR. he is already trying to control you. He gets angry at the drop of a hat. It will not get better it will get MUCH worse. I dated a guy like this. He had borderline personality disorder. It was terrifying he was extremely abusive and irrationally jealous and angry. DO NOT get involved with this man. PLEASE. this is not a joke.. He will only hurt you.

Profile picture of jane84
@jane84
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Scorpio123
?

Mmmm girl, you gotta run! Run for the hills. What a misogynet! This isn't cute or adorable or coming from a loving place, he's so insecure and lame and that is control, ugly.

If it's not cute now, it'll be 20 times LESS cute once you're married. Think, abuse like.

"Think abuse like."

So true...

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by TxOgal
I forgot to mention that he also brought up that he knew i was hesitant when he proposed to me and that he felt me being hesitant when he told me that he comes from a simple family. And how i'd want a guy who runs a couple of companies n from huge family and all that.

I never mentioned this. I love him deeply and I was intimate with him. I accepted his proposal to me, he just caught me off guard when he said it.

How long into the relationship did he propose?

click to expand

3rd month .. Everything was happening so fast we both realize that and we both knew from the beginning that we are looking for a serious relationship .. It sucks I already love him immensely .. It is sad that things are taking this turn now.

Profile picture of AgentP911
@AgentP911
12 Years1,000+ Posts

If you love that thing of a male then you really need to check your standards and once you've done that you need to check yourself into a mental home.

Stop excusing his behaviour by saying you don't need male friends anyway, and that he makes you happy some of the time just because you have a few things in common.

You fucked each other a few times, now you're forming some kind of emotional attachment to someone who, when you breakdown his qualities, isn't particularly nice at all.

Yet you want to marry it?

Your funeral. Literally, because this is how these things start out. Next you'll be covering up your bruises and telling people how clumsy you are because you walked into the door.

Stop being so fucked up. You're a Taurus. Where's your self esteem gone?

Profile picture of jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by TxOgal
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by TxOgal
I forgot to mention that he also brought up that he knew i was hesitant when he proposed to me and that he felt me being hesitant when he told me that he comes from a simple family. And how i'd want a guy who runs a couple of companies n from huge family and all that.

I never mentioned this. I love him deeply and I was intimate with him. I accepted his proposal to me, he just caught me off guard when he said it.

How long into the relationship did he propose?

3rd month .. Everything was happening so fast we both realize that and we both knew from the beginning that we are looking for a serious relationship .. It sucks I already love him immensely .. It is sad that things are taking this turn now.

click to expand

Moving so fast is always a huge red flag for me.

See point 2

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-jacobs/early-warning-signs-of-an_b_6009076.html

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by jeane
Posted by TxOgal
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by TxOgal
I forgot to mention that he also brought up that he knew i was hesitant when he proposed to me and that he felt me being hesitant when he told me that he comes from a simple family. And how i'd want a guy who runs a couple of companies n from huge family and all that.

I never mentioned this. I love him deeply and I was intimate with him. I accepted his proposal to me, he just caught me off guard when he said it.

How long into the relationship did he propose?

3rd month .. Everything was happening so fast we both realize that and we both knew from the beginning that we are looking for a serious relationship .. It sucks I already love him immensely .. It is sad that things are taking this turn now.

Moving so fast is always a huge red flag for me.

See point 2

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-jacobs/early-warning-signs-of-an_b_6009076.html

click to expand

How sad .... Emotional abuse! I know hes controlling ...but hmm now i see some more signs and it sucks how this is true

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by Simsimi
Yes, some taurus men get like that. When it gets bad, everything is not always rosy. You call them out on it or move on from them. Don't key into that angelic BS.

Some taurus men go over board and become this annoying.

Its all cute initially and shit but don't get it twisted.

Sometimes, they don't want you to have male friends and most times it's ridiculous then again culture could play into it too, upbringing, past experiences.

I'm not saying you should stay in this, im saying a huge percentage of people do this and lie about it in public. Don't believe the hype

I think big part of it is culture.... Because I talked to a couple of married friends about it, and they tell me how they argued with their husband about that too .. that their wife shouldnt ask them where they going n how they want their wife all to themselves. It is a common thing, but i thought hes different ... 😢 but his controlling behavior is already scaring me now, i dont want to spend the rest of my life being controlled while he does as he pleases ...thats not fair at all..

Profile picture of jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by TxOgal
Posted by jeane
Posted by TxOgal
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by TxOgal
I forgot to mention that he also brought up that he knew i was hesitant when he proposed to me and that he felt me being hesitant when he told me that he comes from a simple family. And how i'd want a guy who runs a couple of companies n from huge family and all that.

I never mentioned this. I love him deeply and I was intimate with him. I accepted his proposal to me, he just caught me off guard when he said it.

How long into the relationship did he propose?

3rd month .. Everything was happening so fast we both realize that and we both knew from the beginning that we are looking for a serious relationship .. It sucks I already love him immensely .. It is sad that things are taking this turn now.

Moving so fast is always a huge red flag for me.

See point 2

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-jacobs/early-warning-signs-of-an_b_6009076.html

How sad .... Emotional abuse! I know hes controlling ...but hmm now i see some more signs and it sucks how this is true

click to expand

just be careful. these things start off small and so innocent looking you can easily excuse them away.

its only been 4 months. not 40 years. at the very least you should slow things right down and be sure to stand your ground.

if it's cultural for him, it's going to be incredibly difficult to challenge and really do you want to spend all your time doing that? it's going to be either a case of constantly arguing or giving in. either option is exhausting. my advice would be to cut your losses. there are guys who are loving and supportive and emotionally healthy. that's who you deserve in your life.

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

I think I ended up dating someone who has my dad's bad qualities .... N i thought I wanted someone totally different :/

Problem is bf had so many things that liked about him .... It is shocking to me now that they dont carry any weight against being emotiinally abusive and controlling ....

Uh i am trying to get myself out of the picture and look at this objectively

Profile picture of AgentP911
@AgentP911
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by TxOgal
I think I ended up dating someone who has my dad's bad qualities .... N i thought I wanted someone totally different :/

Problem is bf had so many things that liked about him .... It is shocking to me now that they dont carry any weight against being emotiinally abusive and controlling ....

Uh i am trying to get myself out of the picture and look at this objectively

What culture are you and him from?

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by AgentP911
Posted by TxOgal
I think I ended up dating someone who has my dad's bad qualities .... N i thought I wanted someone totally different :/

Problem is bf had so many things that liked about him .... It is shocking to me now that they dont carry any weight against being emotiinally abusive and controlling ....

Uh i am trying to get myself out of the picture and look at this objectively

What culture are you and him from?

click to expand

Mid East. It is common that men dont want their woman to talk to other men. But it is not normal to be emotionally abusive.

Profile picture of jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by TxOgal
I think I ended up dating someone who has my dad's bad qualities .... N i thought I wanted someone totally different :/

Problem is bf had so many things that liked about him .... It is shocking to me now that they dont carry any weight against being emotiinally abusive and controlling ....

Uh i am trying to get myself out of the picture and look at this objectively

it's interesting. there is a theory that we will choose partners that are similar to both our parents good and bad traits. the theory goes that we will be drawn to what we are already familiar with.

don't know how much i believe it.

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by Scorpio123
Posted by TxOgal
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by TxOgal
I think I ended up dating someone who has my dad's bad qualities .... N i thought I wanted someone totally different :/

Problem is bf had so many things that liked about him .... It is shocking to me now that they dont carry any weight against being emotiinally abusive and controlling ....

Uh i am trying to get myself out of the picture and look at this objectively

What culture are you and him from?

Mid East. It is common that men dont want their woman to talk to other men. But it is not normal to be emotionally abusive.

I grew up in the Middle East too so I know what it's like, this isn't a normal common Middle East trait, sorry. Yes men get jealous easier but they understand not every man out there is looking to fuck their women!

You also need to know what class he's from, no offense to him but only low class Middle easterns think that way cause they've zero self confidence so they need to belittle everyone.

click to expand

It is different, in some regions families are more strict than in other regions. I wouldn't tag it as "low class" it makes me cringe cause I believe we are all the same. However, he does come from a more strict region and this is something I thought I can deal with, since he was always trying to be understanding and we always discussed any matters between us. I thought he is different, and being understanding was one of the qualities i cherished about him. Now Im thinking maybe the honeymoon phase is over and our true colours are showing..

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by Simsimi
I think growing up there and being from there are two very different things.

Loads of my middle eastern friends say the men are like this , so its the culture. Perhaps there sre some with traits not this bad ?

It is common cause even in the most modernized regions, many people still have this trait "the man has the last say" and I believe this will not be avoidable in my culture. No matter how much I oppose it. But well I loved so many things about him that I even knew he's jealous, bad tempered at times and controlling, and still loved him. Maybe cause I thought I won't find any man as loyal, honest and trustful as he is, which are the most important qualities to me. I have been cheated on before and lied to. And I dont like secretive men. Bf was different .... Sigh it seems they are all the same. Men just like to be secretive eh..

Profile picture of AgentP911
@AgentP911
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by TxOgal
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by TxOgal
I think I ended up dating someone who has my dad's bad qualities .... N i thought I wanted someone totally different :/

Problem is bf had so many things that liked about him .... It is shocking to me now that they dont carry any weight against being emotiinally abusive and controlling ....

Uh i am trying to get myself out of the picture and look at this objectively

What culture are you and him from?

Mid East. It is common that men dont want their woman to talk to other men. But it is not normal to be emotionally abusive.

click to expand

Yeah, I thought as much. I've been in a relationship with an Arab, it lasted six months. The selfish, childish, controlling, domineering etc behaviour didn't suit me at all.

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by AgentP911
Posted by TxOgal
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by TxOgal
I think I ended up dating someone who has my dad's bad qualities .... N i thought I wanted someone totally different :/

Problem is bf had so many things that liked about him .... It is shocking to me now that they dont carry any weight against being emotiinally abusive and controlling ....

Uh i am trying to get myself out of the picture and look at this objectively

What culture are you and him from?

Mid East. It is common that men dont want their woman to talk to other men. But it is not normal to be emotionally abusive.

Yeah, I thought as much. I've been in a relationship with an Arab, it lasted six months. The selfish, childish, controlling, domineering etc behaviour didn't suit me at all.

click to expand

I am sorry that you had such bad experience too... I think it is common but some of them are not like that.. My ex wasnt controlling but was still selfish and a liar..

Profile picture of AgentP911
@AgentP911
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by TxOgal
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by TxOgal
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by TxOgal
I think I ended up dating someone who has my dad's bad qualities .... N i thought I wanted someone totally different :/

Problem is bf had so many things that liked about him .... It is shocking to me now that they dont carry any weight against being emotiinally abusive and controlling ....

Uh i am trying to get myself out of the picture and look at this objectively

What culture are you and him from?

Mid East. It is common that men dont want their woman to talk to other men. But it is not normal to be emotionally abusive.

Yeah, I thought as much. I've been in a relationship with an Arab, it lasted six months. The selfish, childish, controlling, domineering etc behaviour didn't suit me at all.

I am sorry that you had such bad experience too... I think it is common but some of them are not like that.. My ex wasnt controlling but was still selfish and a liar..

click to expand

Meh, there were good bits but overall I couldn't continue as it would have got worse. I think, underneath, a lot of them are like this. Conditioned to think they are better, more important, rule over you just because they have a penis!

Profile picture of AgentP911
@AgentP911
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by The_Ands
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by TxOgal
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by TxOgal
I think I ended up dating someone who has my dad's bad qualities .... N i thought I wanted someone totally different :/

Problem is bf had so many things that liked about him .... It is shocking to me now that they dont carry any weight against being emotiinally abusive and controlling ....

Uh i am trying to get myself out of the picture and look at this objectively

What culture are you and him from?

Mid East. It is common that men dont want their woman to talk to other men. But it is not normal to be emotionally abusive.

Yeah, I thought as much.

Wow good catch

click to expand

Thanks

Profile picture of TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by TxOgal
He has pisces mars

Taurus Sun...Pisces Mars here.

We're the least aggressive of the Taurus natives.

Before I decide to take action, There are two decisions to make, stay & fight or simply swim away.

If the Bull is assertive, you're worth keeping. If the Fish swims away, you're forgotten about forever.

I would never coerce an individual into making a decision which is why he's leaving that decision to you.

We're passive like that....but also unapolgetic in this aspect.

As inflexible as this pairing may appear (Taurus Sun, Pisces Mars), it's still the most empathetic/passive pairing of all the Taurus combos. You will most likely take the reigns of this relationship, so misogyny is clearly not the dilemma. This means that he will tune you out before he argues with you. This placemement is known for indirect aggression. If you are confronted, this may not end well.

The problem here isn't misogyny. He's insecure....and may have dealt with some infidelity in the past regarding women and 'so-called' male friends. Being a typical Pisces Mars, he may have brushed it off and went with the flow, and once he confronted the situation, it probably didn't end too well.

This is probably why he's telling you up front. Deal with it now or keep it pushing.

Nothing to analyze really.

Profile picture of TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

I don't see potential abuse here.

I disagree with most of the posters.

Abusers don't give you an opportunity to walk away.

They take away your options through ' perfect guy masks' and manipulation, wait until you're emotionally soldified with them....and then BOOM! the masks comes down!

His is clearly giving her the opportunity to walk away.

No masks.

No pretenses.

Profile picture of TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by TxOgal
Said he wont change and its up to me to accept him with his flaws n that I should make up my mind before talking to him.

Does this sound like someone attempting to control you...

Or someone giving you the opportunity to reconsider your decision and to walk away?

I really don't understand how this thread became sidetracked to the topic of abuse.

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by TaurusBull1977
Posted by TxOgal
Said he wont change and its up to me to accept him with his flaws n that I should make up my mind before talking to him.

Does this sound like someone attempting to control you...

Or someone giving you the opportunity to reconsider your decision and to walk away?

I really don't understand how this thread became sidetracked to the topic of abuse.

click to expand

Im not saying hes controlling for leaving me to side.... I meant for controlling whom i talk to and there are other signs that made me think hes trying to control me even if indirectly

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by TaurusBull1977
Posted by TxOgal
He has pisces mars

Taurus Sun...Pisces Mars here.

We're the least aggressive of the Taurus natives.

Before I decide to take action, There are two decisions to make, stay & fight or simply swim away.

If the Bull is assertive, you're worth keeping. If the Fish swims away, you're forgotten about forever.

I would never coerce an individual into making a decision which is why he's leaving that decision to you.

We're passive like that....but also unapolgetic in this aspect.

As inflexible as this pairing may appear (Taurus Sun, Pisces Mars), it's still the most empathetic/passive pairing of all the Taurus combos. You will most likely take the reigns of this relationship, so misogyny is clearly not the dilemma. This means that he will tune you out before he argues with you. This placemement is known for indirect aggression. If you are confronted, this may not end well.

The problem here isn't misogyny. He's insecure....and may have dealt with some infidelity in the past regarding women and 'so-called' male friends. Being a typical Pisces Mars, he may have brushed it off and went with the flow, and once he confronted the situation, it probably didn't end too well.

This is probably why he's telling you up front. Deal with it now or keep it pushing.

Nothing to analyze really.

click to expand

That makes three of us then 🙂

Profile picture of saggurl88
@saggurl88
13 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by tiziani
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by tiziani
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by tiziani
I like being written off for my culture though. "Exotic other" romance.

What culture is that? Where are you from?

Haha the short version is I'm half English half Trinidadian.

The Trini side makes it a longer story 😛

Awwww ok. Lemme know when I can come visit Trinidad and Tobago. ??

I love the Caribbean??

Haha you've been? what part did you go to?

click to expand

No I haven't been there yet. Just other parts of the Caribbean.

But like a typical Sag, I love immersing myself in the culture. I want to live at a host house and visit. Eat local food, go to the dancehall clubs where they only hold up lighters for the dancers, whine, and drink!

Take me with you if you go! ?

Profile picture of AgentP911
@AgentP911
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by tiziani
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by tiziani
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by tiziani
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by tiziani
I like being written off for my culture though. "Exotic other" romance.

What culture is that? Where are you from?

Haha the short version is I'm half English half Trinidadian.

The Trini side makes it a longer story 😛

Awwww ok. Lemme know when I can come visit Trinidad and Tobago. ??

I love the Caribbean??

Haha you've been? what part did you go to?

No I haven't been there yet. Just other parts of the Caribbean.

But like a typical Sag, I love immersing myself in the culture. I want to live at a host house and visit. Eat local food, go to the dancehall clubs where they only hold up lighters for the dancers, whine, and drink!

Take me with you if you go! ?

Which parts did you go to? To me there's no better place than St. Lucia. Trinidad is fun too still, but a little sketchy nowadays. People got rich there, the money didn't go around to everyone so naturally the crime went up.

click to expand

Lol Tiz bagged himself a date!

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