My BF broke up with me

He said he's not ready to be what I need.

He said that many times, then said he loved me... That he didn't want to brake up. Then said again that he's not ready for a real commitment with me and my child.

Then he wanted to stay around but I told him if he's breaking up with me he should leave. He left 😢

Thts fucked up

We were dating about a year and a half. I've been posting on here on and off because things haven't been going well but I didn't see this coming 😢

Thanks. I'm so heartbroken and I feel so used. He hasn't been working for about a year so I was going into debt to support him. He kept making promises to me and now I'm just left pretty broken 😢

I'm sorry you had to go through this. But stepping out of the emotional box, he needed to step away and better himself. You have show him that you are worth so much more. he can't match your ambition. He needs to get himself together before he can continue in a relationship. Just from my experience, I feel bad if I don't bring something to the table in the relationship and I feel like a burden if my partner is carrying all the weight. For now this is for the best of both of you. You're working FOUR jobs and you have a child. That's spreading yourself super thin and on top of that u were still supporting him. That's a painful thing to watch a love one struggle. Just continue to pray for you both and let him grow and get back on track. I do believe that if you are meant to be, you guys will find your way back to each other

Posted by MissAquarious
We were dating about a year and a half. I've been posting on here on and off because things haven't been going well but I didn't see this coming 😢

I am really sorry...... I didn´t see this coming either..... what was the trigger? How he started with the break-up conversation? what was the context? did you fight?

So sorry you are hurting right now.

Sometimes men who know they are not where they want to be go it alone to go off and build their lives so they are better equipped to offer a real stable relationship. The thing that's very selfish about this man is that it's taken him so long to realise this at the cost of your pocket and heart.

Very sad indeed but you can do it because you are a woman who has a child and this child needs you more than any selfish man.

❤

Hes not a cancer? I'm sorry, that's terrible...the fact that he can't be what you need after mooching off you for that long is unforgivable..what a fucking dick!! Wrong wrong just plain wrong...

Posted by MissAquarious
He said he's not ready to be what I need.

He said that many times, then said he loved me... That he didn't want to brake up. Then said again that he's not ready for a real commitment with me and my child.

Then he wanted to stay around but I told him if he's breaking up with me he should leave. He left 😢

I can relate. if you stay calm. He will come back.

@pandora- he's been feeling really bad about himself for not having a job... And he's been taking that anger out by yelling at my son. My kid is 6. I can take a lot of shit, but I'm not going to let someone treat my son badly. So I told him I needed some space.

We have so many plans coming up with the holidays... He had just made plans with his family the day before including me in them and telling his family when we're visiting mine. Why would he do that if he's been planning this?

Also... When he ended things he just kept crying, like freaking out crying and kept wavering. After he finally said we should break up he followed me upstairs a few minutes later, crying, saying he doesn't want to break up.

Then he said again that he did and I asked him to leave. Then he called me when he got home said he was so confused. I told him he needs to get a job- he'll feel better about himself. Started crying again and hung up.

Posted by MissAquarious
He said he's not ready to be what I need.

He said that many times, then said he loved me... That he didn't want to brake up. Then said again that he's not ready for a real commitment with me and my child.

Then he wanted to stay around but I told him if he's breaking up with me he should leave. He left 😢

i slightly remember your story. you were supporting him financially and doing alot of stuff for him.

now i dont remember what your man's placements are, but men want to feel masculine, and do things for their women. This maybe that he felt emasculated by you. just my guess of course.

Posted by Koniucha
Sounds like he needs to get his shit together.

And yelling at your child? Oh hell no.

yeah that's wrong.

Posted by MissAquarious
@pandora- he's been feeling really bad about himself for not having a job... And he's been taking that anger out by yelling at my son. My kid is 6. I can take a lot of shit, but I'm not going to let someone treat my son badly. So I told him I needed some space.

We have so many plans coming up with the holidays... He had just made plans with his family the day before including me in them and telling his family when we're visiting mine. Why would he do that if he's been planning this?

Also... When he ended things he just kept crying, like freaking out crying and kept wavering. After he finally said we should break up he followed me upstairs a few minutes later, crying, saying he doesn't want to break up.

Then he said again that he did and I asked him to leave. Then he called me when he got home said he was so confused. I told him he needs to get a job- he'll feel better about himself. Started crying again and hung up.

yelling at your son is bad, but its not that easy........ everybody has a bad moment, fathers at home are yelling at their kids..... and he was very nice to your son before......so only you can decide if this was out of line or a "discipline" kind of thing or just a momentary frustration....

I am sure you are not ready to break up with him..... I told you so when you presented him with the ulimtatium.......so dont feel bad to take him back....... but, you have to work on yourself, understood?? 🙂 you didnt follow throu with your claims (remember the Sunday thing?)

If the time is right, you can leave him...... you are not ready for that....... just do, what you feel.....

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by MissAquarious
Thanks. I'm so heartbroken and I feel so used. He hasn't been working for about a year so I was going into debt to support him. He kept making promises to me and now I'm just left pretty broken 😢

There's no way you could feel used. You were in a relationship together and shared the burde.. It was down to you to set him straight but instead you "mummied " him and catered to his whims. People usually turn around and bite the hands that feed them and that's exactly what he did.

click to expand

Some thruths in this, yeah..... but not when the time is not right🙂

but, you can always improve, the hope never dies🙂 if this experience is the one, which pushes the OP to better herself, its OK.

Posted by Nevermore

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by MissAquarious
Thanks. I'm so heartbroken and I feel so used. He hasn't been working for about a year so I was going into debt to support him. He kept making promises to me and now I'm just left pretty broken 😢

There's no way you could feel used. You were in a relationship together and shared the burde.. It was down to you to set him straight but instead you "mummied " him and catered to his whims. People usually turn around and bite the hands that feed them and that's exactly what he did.

Some thruths in this, yeah..... but not when the time is not right🙂

but, you can always improve, the hope never dies🙂 if this experience is the one, which pushes the OP to better herself, its OK.

Those empty hopes? Nope. When the honeymoon phase is over, either you tried or there's no feelings at all.. He feels the latter.

Especially with the ultimatum that it won't work on bull.

click to expand

it's hard for a woman (many women) to stop seeing for what it is, especially when they pin their "hopes" on one person, hoping and hoping this will be it, because they want that man so badly.

i feel bad for the OP, though, she does seem to really want to try to have/keep him. But seems to ignore that he is not into her all that much.

Do you guys think it is possible at all for this to be remedied or should I just forget about that?

It's so hard for me to give up hope.

It's hard for me to think he's not into me when just last night he was crying that he didn't want to break up and that he loved me. He was back and forth all night

Posted by MissAquarious
Do you guys think it is possible at all for this to be remedied or should I just forget about that?

It's so hard for me to give up hope.

uh no.

there's nothing you can do.

you can remain friends (it's up to you) but then he'll probably just think you're weak (considering that he's basically steppin all over you)

letting go is the best.

Posted by MissAquarious
It's hard for me to think he's not into me when just last night he was crying that he didn't want to break up and that he loved me. He was back and forth all night

playing on your emotions huh—

ACTIONS girl, actions.

talk and talk and talk is all bullshit.

Posted by Nevermore

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by Nevermore

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by MissAquarious
Thanks. I'm so heartbroken and I feel so used. He hasn't been working for about a year so I was going into debt to support him. He kept making promises to me and now I'm just left pretty broken 😢

There's no way you could feel used. You were in a relationship together and shared the burde.. It was down to you to set him straight but instead you "mummied " him and catered to his whims. People usually turn around and bite the hands that feed them and that's exactly what he did.

Some thruths in this, yeah..... but not when the time is not right🙂

but, you can always improve, the hope never dies🙂 if this experience is the one, which pushes the OP to better herself, its OK.

Those empty hopes? Nope. When the honeymoon phase is over, either you tried or there's no feelings at all.. He feels the latter.

Especially with the ultimatum that it won't work on bull.

it's hard for a woman (many women) to stop seeing for what it is, especially when they pin their "hopes" on one person, hoping and hoping this will be it, because they want that man so badly.

i feel bad for the OP, though, she does seem to really want to try to have/keep him. But seems to ignore that he is not into her all that much.

True, but even for a woman we have to learned a very hard lesson. Especially that I learned a big lesson to never expected or putting some hopes up after falling in love with my crush.
He tried yes, but he's out of honeymoon phase (if in the beginning he was into her). And I know that feel when honeymoon phase is over.
She had it coming after she gave him an ultimatum and especially that the others did warned her about this. I mean look at this threats:

click to expand

ultimatums?? just that word alone, giving to a taurus man. 😆

pardon moi, 😛 got carried away, imagining it.

ok well MAYBE if you wear some sexy dark lacy lingerie. 😄 😄

and say, "Baby, this is what you're gonna get...."

ok ok, enough i'm terrible 😆

anyway, i agree, ultimatums aren't really good.

or do this!!! money all over the bed 😆

ooops!!!! 😄 😄

well that's not going to make a difference then.

anyway my husband is fixed, so it's kind of similar, where you can't make a man do anything.

well hopefully OP isn't going to do any wild and crazy ideas.

Posted by starlover
I've had men crying and pleading me to take them back. One even bought by a bouquet of flowers which had never done before to try and gef back with me, only to go back to his former behaviour

No change

i agree i've had this happen to me multiple times. with 2 ex's.

A person cannot love you beyond their character. A man can't give you 100% of him until he meets his basic needs which is security, protect, and provide. You were the man in this relationship and if he stated any longer you would've resented him. This is a lesson to stop ignoring red flags you need a man to take care of you not the other way around. He needs to find himself and you need to rebuild your self esteem so you can stop dating a man's potential.

Posted by MissAquarious

It's hard for me to think he's not into me when just last night he was crying that he didn't want to break up and that he loved me.

Even when it's right in front of your face - your depleted bank account, your hurt child ...... you still sit there and go wa, wa, wa over a lost cause, rather than stand up and take responsibility.

maybe that is why he doesnt' want to commit to you ... maybe he wants a woman of substance, who knows her worth.

you clearly have no clue what your worth is.

I'm not going to feel sorry for you, since a moron could have seen this coming.

You have no qualms in continuing to enable him, by having excuses ready should someone notice that you're being a douchebag about it ... it's got the feel that you're even providing excuses to keep his fool.

wow ... once he finally gets over this, I say he dodged a bullet getting rid of you

Posted by MissAquarious
Do you guys think it is possible at all for this to be remedied or should I just forget about that?

It's so hard for me to give up hope.

op, i know we haven't seen eye to eye on this issue. i am sorry this has happened.

my advice would be to take the out and run. when you are able to look at this in the clear light of day you will be able to see he is a child. he is what? 24? about a decade your junior? he is in no way ready to be a husband to you and a father to your child. stop wasting your time and find someone more age appropriate.

a decade is not a big difference if you were 50 and he was 40 but he is still a kid. he brain has just barely stopped growing. find yourself a man who will support you in your times of need. you deserve this. leave this guy to mess about with young women who don't have your responsibilities and life experience.

unfortunately you found yourself in a parent child relationship. you tried to tame a young man who is still dealing with a mass of testosterone, immaturity and a lack of accountability. yes, he may be a good, loving and decent person but he is not ripe yet. you picked him too early.

take this as a learning experience and set your sights on better. you can do it.

OMG....this little fucker is 24 and you're in your mid 30's expecting a lifelong commitment from him and also for him to be a father figure for your son...I'm done....let him live...you thought he'd be easy to take advantage of because of his age and your willingness to take care of him...he already has a mom....smh

Some people no matter how young they are can see through others manipulation tactics

Cakey eaty asshole.

Posted by happyface1
OMG....this little fucker is 24 and you're in your mid 30's expecting a lifelong commitment from him and also for him to be a father figure for your son...I'm done....let him live...you thought he'd be easy to take advantage of because of his age and your willingness to take care of him...he already has a mom....smh

Some people no matter how young they are can see through others manipulation tactics

i'm just going to add, i may have those ages wrong. i have a vague recollection that it is the case but i'm not 100% certain. op should confirm before anyone takes my word for it.

It's because parents don't let children learn ... they keep them on their tits until at least 25 years old, while they go fight all their battles for them, and make sure that nobody ever tells them "no"