taurus ladies help plzzz

i have made a lot of mistakes with my ex. Mostly, i never followed through with things i said i would do, and getting too comfortable, not giving her her space that she needed. I am a Scorpio and we both argued a lot with each other in the past few years, though our first year was absolutely amazing, we got engaged.. I have gotten better about compromising in our disagreements. She recently told me that she doesn't think that we share the same values and dreams. She is very successful in her career and I am still in college. I need this girl back.. We were supposed to get married.. She drifted away from our relationship and got completely disconnected.. is there anything i can do to help her see me as the right person for her, that we do share the same values and dreams and to give our relationship another chance??

What didn't you follow through with?

I just got comfortable and stopped doing all the little things that she liked. I got lazy and stopped working towards my goals as well as making sure she was happy or at least somewhat. I promised to be the old me she fell for and things would get better and I didn't do it I just fell into the same routine funk I've been in. Recently after the break up she seemed shocked when she came home and I told I applied for a associates program and was awaiting acceptance, she came off impressed. But it isn't good enough to revisit our relationship.

Posted by Ace2009
I just got comfortable and stopped doing all the little things that she liked. I got lazy and stopped working towards my goals as well as making sure she was happy or at least somewhat. I promised to be the old me she fell for and things would get better and I didn't do it I just fell into the same routine funk I've been in. Recently after the break up she seemed shocked when she came home and I told I applied for a associates program and was awaiting acceptance, she came off impressed. But it isn't good enough to revisit our relationship.

Even if you don't get back together, maybe you can use this time to get your life together and be somewhat more ambitious?

It happened to me more than once, men getting too comfortable and not making the effort...

There was also a change in her career. She could afford to take off work and travel for 2 weeks and the drop of a hat. But her business has declined dramatically and she can no longer afford that life style . I feel this is part of why she was in a bad mood as well. She's just not happy in general.

I have sucked it up and decided to work less and struggle a bit to get thru school faster. I have the same dreams as her and I want to make her happy. But to afford what she wants I have to continue schooling even after a degree and just keep working my way up. Is there anything I can do in the mean time to help her see that I am in this. I don't want to lose this girl ever. She's rough and complicated and moody but I am completely in love with her. We live together still. She loves when I cook for her and give her massages. We still sleep in the same bed but she is standing her ground on boundaries. This alone I know is not enough while finishing school and becoming more financially stable.. how can I get her attention

Right. I will do that. How can I make her feel better about her life and career. I support her dreams and share them as well. But she's always so stressed. And I used to be so good at balancing her out but I've completely lost my rhythm that she loved about me.

Posted by Ace2009
She drifted away from our relationship and got completely disconnected.. is there anything i can do to help her see me as the right person for her, that we do share the same values and dreams and to give our relationship another chance??

What 'shared dreams and values' do you and the Taurus have n common?

we are both hard working in our careers, she makes far more than i do, i am back in school trying to work my way up in healthcare. We both know that where we live isn't where we belong and both dream of beach living and traveling the world. We both are very honest and faithful and have never wondered if the other was drifting in that sense. We both love hard and enjoy the same music and speak in sarcasm a lot of the time. We get sucked into the same shows and are both homebodies. The main thing though is that we both want to move to east coast, preferably south Florida, that is where we are happiest, and i know that is where she belongs as well, I have never seen her so at peace with herself as i did when we are in Florida. Our major downfall is that we are both stubborn and arguments suck. I have learned to let her be right most of the time, but not enough to become a doormat and be walked on. I used to be able to balance her perfectly and we have moved closer to our families now, which I don't do well with and it makes me extremely irritable and that and her not making as much money as she used to is when all the problems and fighting started, and I stopped doing little things to impress her, or make her feel good and never got around to doing things like training the dogs that i said i would do... I have just messed up royally and she believes that I am just not right for her and she's over it. I used to be so good with her and did the sweet gestures and little nothings that she loved..

@Tauruswithspunk

@Ace,

You're leaving out a great deal of information. It's not my intention to presume this story is either biased or fictional, but it's defintely being told through predisposed eyes. You're projecting, and romanticizing.

In other words, you're assuming you know the underlying problem and now you're looking to get advice for this dilemma.

I don't believe 'money' is the issue.

The biggest misconception individuals have about Bulls, is that they only equate stability wiith financial security.

This is not always the case.

Shared values can indicate mutual interests in raising children, religion, structure, marriage, integrity, accountability, responsibility, good ethics.

If we decide to invest in you, we will take as you are. Flaws and all.

Pursuing a degree doesn't equate to lack of ambition.

It SCREAMS ambition.

What causes us to be indifferent after we decided to invest in you emotionally?

There is something about you that turned her off....something that she didn't see before.

It may not be the lack of motivation, but everything else that was associated with it.

I think you don't want to see it, so you're allocating the reasons to her being a Bull....and wanting a man who makes a great deal of money.

That's not the problem.

We don't bail easily.

It takes us forever to commit...it takes us forever to let go.

I fought her constantly on things, I didnt give her space, I began to get jealous, I didn't keep my word, I made her feel guilty and was mean at times, I stopped treating her the way that she always told me made her fall like crazy, I stopped doing a lot of things, I even moved out at one point a year into our relationship and she thought i left her for someone else, I have been pushy, moody, Ive been complaining a lot and just annoying. When she did nice things for I didnt appreciate them. I just was stuck in this screwed up part of my head for so long and when I finally realized what I had done... she had one foot out the door.. then I believe i invaded her space by pushing and pushing affection and spending time together and trying to desperately fix things and she got sick of me.

Posted by Ace2009
I fought her constantly on things, I didnt give her space, I began to get jealous, I didn't keep my word, I made her feel guilty and was mean at times, I stopped treating her the way that she always told me made her fall like crazy, I stopped doing a lot of things, I even moved out at one point a year into our relationship and she thought i left her for someone else, I have been pushy, moody, Ive been complaining a lot and just annoying. When she did nice things for I didnt appreciate them. I just was stuck in this screwed up part of my head for so long and when I finally realized what I had done... she had one foot out the door.. then I believe i invaded her space by pushing and pushing affection and spending time together and trying to desperately fix things and she got sick of me.

Now this makes more sense......

How can I fix it—

Here is my advice....

Work on your personality flaws.

Don't keep telling her what you plan on doing,

Just do it!

If you're in one of your moods, go for a walk, then watch a comedy, it lightens up the mood and puts you in a different space.

Then you can sort out your problems with her.

The difference?

You're more vulnerable and less combative.

I'm pretty certain it was the vulnerability, kindness, and gentleness that made her fall head over heels in love with you.

The romantic gestures are OK, but I wouldn't advise it.

It's putting a temporary band-aid on a continuous problem.

This may be the hardest thing for you to do.

Let her go....for now.

Tell her you need time to work on yourself, and you need some space to be able to do so.

These are YOUR issues to fix, and this has nothing to do with her.

You want to be the best man that you can be for her.

This is a rational decision.Not an emotional-based decision.

It reflects selflessness and emotional maturity.

This will also work in your favor.

The more you cling, the more you will irritate her.

Remember, she's a stubborn, unyielding Bull....

Create some space.

Use this opportunity to evolve.

She will eventually come to you.

This is your best bet.

Posted by Ace2009
we are both hard working in our careers, she makes far more than i do, i am back in school trying to work my way up in healthcare. We both know that where we live isn't where we belong and both dream of beach living and traveling the world. We both are very honest and faithful and have never wondered if the other was drifting in that sense. We both love hard and enjoy the same music and speak in sarcasm a lot of the time. We get sucked into the same shows and are both homebodies. The main thing though is that we both want to move to east coast, preferably south Florida, that is where we are happiest, and i know that is where she belongs as well, I have never seen her so at peace with herself as i did when we are in Florida. Our major downfall is that we are both stubborn and arguments suck. I have learned to let her be right most of the time, but not enough to become a doormat and be walked on. I used to be able to balance her perfectly and we have moved closer to our families now, which I don't do well with and it makes me extremely irritable and that and her not making as much money as she used to is when all the problems and fighting started, and I stopped doing little things to impress her, or make her feel good and never got around to doing things like training the dogs that i said i would do... I have just messed up royally and she believes that I am just not right for her and she's over it. I used to be so good with her and did the sweet gestures and little nothings that she loved..

So if she's so perfect put a ring on it. What's stopping you from walking down the isle?

This is all very helpful and I appreciate it. But what about the fact that we live together and still sleep in the same bed. She recently went back to school also and we have statistics together and do homework for all our classes together. I see her all the time except when we are both at work.

Posted by Ace2009
i have made a lot of mistakes with my ex. Mostly, i never followed through with things i said i would do, and getting too comfortable, not giving her her space that she needed. I am a Scorpio and we both argued a lot with each other in the past few years, though our first year was absolutely amazing, we got engaged.. I have gotten better about compromising in our disagreements. She recently told me that she doesn't think that we share the same values and dreams. She is very successful in her career and I am still in college. I need this girl back.. We were supposed to get married.. She drifted away from our relationship and got completely disconnected.. is there anything i can do to help her see me as the right person for her, that we do share the same values and dreams and to give our relationship another chance??

Taurus is all or nothing. Similar to Scorpio. Taurus girls are independent-minded and we like it when people do what they say. It sounds like you are just not ready to be in a real relationship just yet. Keep her as a friend. Be kind and supportive of her choices. Encourage her. But give her the space she needs. She might come back around later when you've both had time to live a bit separately.

Posted by Tauruswithspunk
One last thing... even if she doesn't respond when you contact her every other day... still do it. I've iced out my friend for awhile and due to her determination popping up constantly I let her back in...she broke down my stubbornness by popping up (she was on my YouTube comments, messenger, text, pictures you name it) she never gave up until I finally responded. It works trust me just takes awhile.

AND IM A TAURUS SUN AND MOON... so if it was hard to break through to any Taurus... it was me.

I'm the same way. It takes time, but persistence always wins me over.

How do I stay persistent without pushing her farther away?

Posted by Ace2009
How do I stay persistent without pushing her farther away?

Honestly show her that you care by the things you do. It doesn't mean buy her things or bombard her with texts every day. Just check in with her every so often. I have a Cancer that is doing this with me right now and I really appreciate it. He knows I'm not emotionally available, but he still texts me about once a week to see how I'm doing. He remembers everything I say and will ask about things later on. That really makes me feel like he cares about me. And he's being persistent in how he does things but he's not smothering me. It makes me feel wanted while also giving me space to think.

Right. I try not to text or call her much and most of the time wait to see her at home. I want to stand out from the rest and really get her attention

That's what she used to tell me I did for her. That I was so good at getting her and balancing her out all the time. I've lost my way in doing that and am just unsure how to go about getting back to that person. Or maybe just worried when I do it won't be good enough.

I know that you are right. I know she doesn't want me to do any changing for her. She wants me to be better for me and want more for myself

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by Ace2009
i have made a lot of mistakes with my ex. Mostly, i never followed through with things i said i would do, and getting too comfortable, not giving her her space that she needed. I am a Scorpio and we both argued a lot with each other in the past few years, though our first year was absolutely amazing, we got engaged.. I have gotten better about compromising in our disagreements. She recently told me that she doesn't think that we share the same values and dreams. She is very successful in her career and I am still in college. I need this girl back.. We were supposed to get married.. She drifted away from our relationship and got completely disconnected.. is there anything i can do to help her see me as the right person for her, that we do share the same values and dreams and to give our relationship another chance??

They like ambitious men with money.

You're a broke student. Do the math.

click to expand

This is not exactly true, Ambition yes, money not necessarily, yes you've got to be self sufficient, Im not looking for someone to leach off of me, but Im more interested in how driven you are. Im very driven and want someone to match that.

So even if she says I have no chance I should still try. I don't want anyone else whether she takes me back or not. I know she's hit her max with me and I am scared to death

Posted by Ace2009
So even if she says I have no chance I should still try. I don't want anyone else whether she takes me back or not. I know she's hit her max with me and I am scared to death

I was once involved with a Scorpio. No one had the ability to make me as angry as he did. But also no one attracted me as much as he did. No one had ever understood me as well as he appeared to without knowing me for very long.

There were fights that we had where I told myself, "I never want to talk to him again. I hate him." Because the things he said were so hurtful. I had never experienced this with another man. I also would tell him the same, "Never contact me again." I felt like I had to protect myself. We talked endlessly because we lived in different cities.

Get this: I never even kissed this guy. But our relationship was that powerful and overwhelming and just, so psychological. We both wanted to begin something but couldn't get it off the ground.

Our relationship went around and around, with long silences and then sudden bursts of communication because we really did miss one another. My Scorpio was immature. He played around with my emotions too much.

I would have left the door open forever had he not done one final, cruel thing to really hurt me.

I'm sure her door will remain open to you as long as you haven't done something truly low to hurt her. Taurus women want to feel supported and respected. So what you must do is respect what she says now. If she's "hit her max" that means you guys need to take a break for a little while.

I have never been unfaithful. I just have been a grouchy asshole and hard to be around for a long while. She doesn't seem to mind spending time with me when I am pleasant. She always says thank you to everything I do for her. She slept on my chest last night after I asked if she wanted to. She couldn't sleep last night but she laid on me and I rubbed her head and she was out in minutes. This morning she seems a little off. Kind of cranky. I don't know why and I haven't said anything about it. She's doing homework. But I honestly feel like she gives me an inch every night and backs up again every morning.