What have I done!?

(Part1)

This will be a long story... but I really need help...

I know this taurus man at work for 6 years now. We weren't close as we only knew each other through other collegues and friends. And everything started around 2 years ago... I went through a very difficult period in my life...I can't remember how or when we suddenly got a lot closer...but He was always there for me... always trying to cheer me up, invited me to hang out, even cooked for me a few times. He is not a talkative person...but an extremely good listener...I enjoyed his company a lot as I never felt pressure or anything... just a very comforting presence... always asking the right question or saying the right thing to make me feel better. Over time I slowly got better and we grew closer and closer... then I started noticing that he was especially caring and kind to me... and always give me little gifts and all. Then Christmas 2 years ago arrive...I got to work and saw my whole desk decorated with a lots of gifts (all very thoughtful gifts... all stuff I like)...Of course I knew it was him... so I sent him a text message saying "Thank you for all the gifts...but We are just friends right?", I received a quick reply telling me that he would be lying if he says yes... and that he understand what I'm trying to say. After that incident We both felt uncomfortable... so we stop seeing each other... and whenever we crossed each other at work...even though he always give me a sign like to say "Hello" but I was so uncomfortable and shy that most of the time I just ignore him...and after a while everything stop... we act like strangers and haven't seen each other or talk to each other for a whole year and a half. Till late april this year...He move to a new project ( same project as me ). Once I got the news... I sent him a text message to congratulate him and to welcome him to the project. He said thank you and asked how I was doing after all this time... then we chatt for while rekindle our old friendship. Then he moved to the same building and same floor as I am... so we talk to each other more frequently... I drop by his desk every now and then as he always have chocolate and candies for me... he knows I love sweets... so whenever he has something either I drop by or he just drop it at my desk. Then we started to hang out with each other again... sports, restaurant, ice cream, walks, ect...Then last week of June... I noticed him acting really weird...a little distant... so I asked him what happened...and he told me that he might need advice from me and that he will tell me about everything when we'll see each other on friday...

Then come Friday July 01st...He came to pick me up and we went to a dessert restaurant together...after that he asked me if I wanted to take a walk in the at the park and I agreed for course. Once we get to the park... He walked silently for 10-15 minutes...I was starting to feel uncomfortable... then he started to talk...He told me that whatever he felt for me before is coming back... and that if he's reading too much into this or am I also having feelings for him. That took me by surprise and I was speechless... I just told him... that I really didn't expect that and that I just don't know what to say. We went back to the car and he started to drive me home...After a few minutes of silence... I asked him if he wanted me to get out of the car...then he just shook his head and said "come on" Once arrived in front of my house... we stayed in the car for a while...and then he told me "you still haven't give me your answer" and I told him that I don't feel the same way he does...then we kept silent for a while...Then I asked him if there's something I can do to help him, that if he ever need me.. that I wouldn't be far, that if he wanted me to stop saying "hi" to him at work and all...he just shook his head again and told me that he really don't know...then told me to go get some sleep.Saturday evening... I sent him a message asking "how is he doing?" He told me that he's still all messed up and confuse and that receiving my message really make him happy. Then Sunday night I received a private message on my FB from him...Telling me he's been trying to play all possible scenario in his head and it always lead him to the same conclusion that we it won't work... that we will end up apart from each other and even worse hating each other... So he told me that it might be better if we stop seeing each other and that he will miss me a lot. I sent him a message back to tell him that I agree and that I also feel really uncomfortable at the moment and that we should stop seeing each other. Then a month pass.. and I suddenly got a message from him asking to see me...We met on a friday afternoon after work...but he didn't speak at all... so I got a little upset and told him that if he has nothing to say then I'll leave...then he just told me that he just wanted to see me... that he need to understand how he's feeling now... if he's really ok with everything...I didn't really understand that so I told him that I don't think seeing me is doing him any good at the moment. He shook his and head and said "yes it does" and then asked me what Iwanted to do now and really insisted on that question...so I told him that everything will be ok and that I will text him if I wanted to talk to him or see him...then we pretty much leave it at that.

(Part3)

A few more weeks passed and then one day he drop by my desk with some chocolate and asked me if I wanted to hang out this weekend... I told him that I will be out of thow this weekend... then he asked for next weekend and I told him..." we will see" He went badk to his desk and sent me a message asking me if everything is ok? and I said yea but I was just a little surprised...surprised about what he asked? I said about him dropping by... then he told me that he thought that we talked about this already... that I said that I won't be far...so I told him that I'm not comfortable at the moment... and I started to feel a little cornered and didn't know what to tell him anymore so I got a little upset and told him that I'm fed up and that he has to respect that fact that everything was soo intense and that I need time to digest everything...He said he understand now .. and I told him that we will talk once I feel better..and he just said "ok" It's been months now... we haven't talk to each other and see each other... even when we cross each other at work...he acts like he doesn't see me and just plain out avoiding me...

3 weeks ago...I noticed that he's missing work every now and then (I work in Human ressource so I know) and last week he missed almost the entire week... so I got curious and went to look at his file... and see that he's out for sick leave...I started to get really worried so I asked our common friends/collegue if they know what happened to him...nobody know except for one his close friend...she told me that he's in the hospital right now.... that he's been diagnose with Leukemia...I was devastated...I told her the whole story and asked her where he is that I wanted to go see him... She got really mad at me saying how juvenile I was to give him the silent treatment for so long after all he has done for me...and told me that it was not her call to tell me where he is or not... that she can't help me.

(Part4)

Then last week I went ahead and contact his sister and asked her where he is that I am just a friend and collegue that wanted to see him. She gave me the name of the hospital as well as the room number. I took the day off and ran to the hospital to see him...When I got to his room... he was still sleeping...he has lost a lot of weight and look so tired. I've never thought I would see him like this... he's a very sporty man so he's usually in excellent shape... and always have a very gentle smile...but seeing him like this was too much... the pain was too much so I started to cry and just couldn't stop...me crying woke him up and then he quickly turn away and said "what are you doing here?" I told him that I just needed to see him and he replied " you had months to do that...why now?" I just didn't know what to say and it was really unbearable so I kept crying...then he said "if you're gonna keep crying... could you please do that somewhere else...I'm really tired and and cannot deal with this right now" I stepped out of the room to try and calm myself down... I went to clean my face and came back into the room 20 minutes later. As soon as I step back in the room he turn the other way again and said "Why are you still here?" So I told him that I wanted to see him... that I was worried and that I really care for him...Then he said:

Him: Why now? did that awkwardness of yours just suddenly dissapear? I don't understand what you're trying to do...

Me: No but I really do care for you

Him: Would you care if I was still at work...we all know the answer to that...You told me many times how kind and how gentle I am... but I too have my limits...I could accept the fact that you don't return my feelings... I could understand that you felt uncomfortable...I could even deal with the fact that you don't want to see me... I've been dealing with all that for 2 years now. But please put yourlself in my shoes for once... the person you have feeling for ... after telling you all sort of promises such as "I won't be far" "everything wil be alright" and then just treat you like a freaking nobody...not once but twice... because this isn't the first time you treat me like this... but it was the last time... I gave you all the time you want to "Digest" now I need time to "Forget"... I'm kind... but not that kind!

Me: I'm really sorry! I really didn't mean to hurt you...

Him: But you did... and I even went back to you many time because I trusted you... I believed what you told me... but every single time you slam the door right in my face.

(part5)

Me: I didn't mean to...I didn't realise what I put you through...I am really sorry...everything happened so fast! I was afraid...I needed to make sure...that I could believe what you said

Him: So you thought I wasn't been serious? So after everything...you mean to tell me that you thought that I was just playing around?

Me: that's not What I meant! I think I was starting to have feelings for you too and it scared me... I was afraid that you will hurt me...

Him: After all this time... have I even once hurt you? I'm sorry but could you just leave me alone now?

I left the room as I was very upset and him too...That night I thought a lot about everything...everything he said and his friend said...and I finally realise how bad I hurted him...I just can't get it out of my head... everything he said...then it finally hit me in the face... that I manage to chase away the one person that have been always right next to me... to care for me...to comfort me... the one person that love me for who I was when I was at my lowest...Then everything make sense now...I actually really love him...so much that I was afraid of getting hurt by him...because he never did... so I just didn't know what to do if he ever decide to...2 years wasn't enough... I needed to make sure that I had the upper hand... that he can't live without me...that he will never leave me no matter what... I tried to convince myself time and time over that I don't have feelings for him... because it was soo much easier...and now seeing him like that, I finally realise that I was a fool and wasted soo much time and that I might really have lost him... this time for good...

Are there anything I could do gain his trust back? Should I go see him again and talk to him... or give him time?

Bulls are sensitive.if he is pissed off of what you have said then dont attack him. Give him an upper hand. Let him understand. Give him assurance what you both agreed. Inconsistency turn them off. If I were you..allow him to cool off I am sure he will come to you. Don't force the issue.

Give him some space.



Give it a about a week or two.

Please avoid any 'modern' form of communication such as texting, social media or etc.

Stop by to see him.

Smell nice.

Touch him lightly.

Play his favorite songs on an Ipod.

Crack a joke.

Kiss him lightly on the lips.

Make sure to bring dessert.

Don't say too much. With Bulls, sometimes you have to learn to be in the 'moment' with them.

Posted by Redoctober2000


Bulls respect people who are loyal and stick to their word. Words are cheap and actions mean more.

This is very accurate.

Posted by capricornmoon
I'll cook dinner for whoever gives me the cliffnotes version

The Bull was courting her, assessing her, and feeling her out.

He felt connected to her, and was hoping the vibe would get stronger in time.

Instead, he sensed hesitation, aloofness, and disinterest from her, so being the guarded Bull, he immediately told her this 'friendship' wasn't going to work out (probably hoping she would talk him out of it)

Instead, she agreed (stupid move).

She finally breaks down and becomes vulnerable with an explantion of being guarded.

He is offended that she doubted his sincerity.

He now wants to be left alone.



* I would like my steak to be cooked medium well please *

Hey Enoch,

Bring back that steak!

Care Bears share, remember?

Posted by TaurusBull1977
Give him some space.



Give it a about a week or two.

Please avoid any 'modern' form of communication such as texting, social media or etc.

Stop by to see him.

Smell nice.

Touch him lightly.

Play his favorite songs on an Ipod.

Crack a joke.

Kiss him lightly on the lips.

Make sure to bring dessert.

Don't say too much. With Bulls, sometimes you have to learn to be in the 'moment' with them.

Since that day I've missed him a lot...I wanted to go see him again...but I'm afraid I'll just upset him even more...

And it's really hard for me to see him like that...I don't want him to think that I just pity him...

I can't really touch him even less kiss him as we were never together... and after all these years...I dont think we ever touch each other... not once..

I don't know how serious is his leukemia... I've heard of people getting out of it after a few treatments... other needed transplant...and others that died from it...I don't think I can bring myself to ask him how serious it is... but I'm really afraid of losing him right now...

"What I’ve done

I'll face myself to cross out what I’ve become

Erase myself and let go of what I’ve done

For what I’ve done

I start again

And whatever pain may come

Today this ends

I’m forgiving what I’ve done!"

Posted by capricornmoon
And if you really really really, I mean really like and love someone like a lot of people claim, you would take them back in a heartbeat, as long as they haven't done something that was too shady or disrespectful. Not that anybody should wait for the other person to get their act together BUT how much do you like/love that person in the first place if you can't give them a second or third chance?

From what I understand of the lengthy novella the op has written, he did give her a second and third chance. Each time she 'slammed the door in his face'.

Posted by littlenanobyte
I'm not going to go into astrology with this, and normally I don't write out this much, but I took the time to read your story here and I think you need to really hear some of my words about this.

You don't get to treat people like garbage and tell them lies like "I'll always be there for you" only to be WISHY WASHY (this is coming from a gemini, mind you) and constantly "feel uncomfortable" later about fulfilling your promises. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

This man probably tried to tell you about his leukemia on multiple occasions but you were dismissive, angry, and "uncomfortable" any time he tried to confide in you - yet he was always there for you whenever you needed him?? I can tell by your post here that you operate only according to your own self interests.

Then all of a sudden, you find out he has leukemia and THEN you decide to care??

I can promise you that going into his hospital room after all of those absent months and crying profusely at the sight of him in his current state would have pissed me off too. Way to be strong for him (that was sarcasm). And people say that Scorpios are emotionally intelligent and empathic 😆 That is, hands down, the worst thing you could have done to add insult to injury to this poor dying man.

"I needed to know that he couldn't live without me, 2 years of him pining over me wasn't enough"

You are all the bad traits of Scorpio.

Selfish. Insecure. Manipulative. Weak minded. Pathetic. Scared of your own reflection. Makes oneself their own biggest enemy. Blind to all of this.

You need to get over yourself for what is probably the first time ever and apologize to this man and tell him the truth about your feelings for him if that's how you really and truly feel about him. And never pull that manipulative and insecure "protecting myself first" shit again because you'd be lucky if he gave you another chance.

I agree emphatically with all of this EXCEPT for that last paragraph.

If only he was just emotionally hurt, she could go and apologize and confess her 'feelings'. But he is ill, perhaps terminally. And by his own request he pled with her to leave him alone after her intrusion and emotional outburst at the hospital.

This isn't about her anymore and needing to assuage her guilt and regret. It's about him and not causing him anymore pain, even at the sacrifice of her own happiness.

Op if you truly do love this man you will honor his request and stay away from damaging him further.

Posted by littlenanobyte
I'm not going to go into astrology with this, and normally I don't write out this much, but I took the time to read your story here and I think you need to really hear some of my words about this.

You don't get to treat people like garbage and tell them lies like "I'll always be there for you" only to be WISHY WASHY (this is coming from a gemini, mind you) and constantly "feel uncomfortable" later about fulfilling your promises. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

This man probably tried to tell you about his leukemia on multiple occasions but you were dismissive, angry, and "uncomfortable" any time he tried to confide in you - yet he was always there for you whenever you needed him?? I can tell by your post here that you operate only according to your own self interests.

Then all of a sudden, you find out he has leukemia and THEN you decide to care??

I can promise you that going into his hospital room after all of those absent months and crying profusely at the sight of him in his current state would have pissed me off too. Way to be strong for him (that was sarcasm). And people say that Scorpios are emotionally intelligent and empathic 😆 That is, hands down, the worst thing you could have done to add insult to injury to this poor dying man.

"I needed to know that he couldn't live without me, 2 years of him pining over me wasn't enough"

You are all the bad traits of Scorpio.

Selfish. Insecure. Manipulative. Weak minded. Pathetic. Scared of your own reflection. Makes oneself their own biggest enemy. Blind to all of this.

You need to get over yourself for what is probably the first time ever and apologize to this man and tell him the truth about your feelings for him if that's how you really and truly feel about him. And never pull that manipulative and insecure "protecting myself first" shit again because you'd be lucky if he gave you another chance.

Best post of the day! Couldn't have said it better myself Ms Gem! From a Scorp.

Posted by littlenanobyte
I'm not going to go into astrology with this, and normally I don't write out this much, but I took the time to read your story here and I think you need to really hear some of my words about this.

You don't get to treat people like garbage and tell them lies like "I'll always be there for you" only to be WISHY WASHY (this is coming from a gemini, mind you) and constantly "feel uncomfortable" later about fulfilling your promises. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

This man probably tried to tell you about his leukemia on multiple occasions but you were dismissive, angry, and "uncomfortable" any time he tried to confide in you - yet he was always there for you whenever you needed him?? I can tell by your post here that you operate only according to your own self interests.

Then all of a sudden, you find out he has leukemia and THEN you decide to care??

I can promise you that going into his hospital room after all of those absent months and crying profusely at the sight of him in his current state would have pissed me off too. Way to be strong for him (that was sarcasm). And people say that Scorpios are emotionally intelligent and empathic 😆 That is, hands down, the worst thing you could have done to add insult to injury to this poor dying man.

"I needed to know that he couldn't live without me, 2 years of him pining over me wasn't enough"

You are all the bad traits of Scorpio.

Selfish. Insecure. Manipulative. Weak minded. Pathetic. Scared of your own reflection. Makes oneself their own biggest enemy. Blind to all of this.

You need to get over yourself for what is probably the first time ever and apologize to this man and tell him the truth about your feelings for him if that's how you really and truly feel about him. And never pull that manipulative and insecure "protecting myself first" shit again because you'd be lucky if he gave you another chance.

Very well said!!——

This is exactly why I can't stand Scorps!!

I know not all Scorps are like this but most (especially females) are. Scorp women I know are all selfish, manipulative, insecure and jealous bitches. Sorry to say that but not 1 has proven me different..



I hope for his sake you leave him alone. You don't even deserve him!

I'm in two minds about the previous posts on here about should she go see him or wait for him to initiate.

If I were to have a 'gut' feeling on it (and it's not really from the gut but more from hoping for a reasonably happier ending) then I would go with giving him some space (not sure on timescales or how long ago he told her to leave the hospital) and then go and see him. I don't know what's right or wrong here but the Taurus, in his current state, needs to come first. However, if she really does love him or has at least now realised her feelings for him (and often us Scorps DO need bad shit to go down before we realise what was always right there in front of us) then she needs to be there for him, show him she's for real and unwavering. If OP cannot commit fully to that then I suggest OP leaves him alone and forgets he ever existed.

Because if the Taurus really truly did love her then wouldn't the Taurus still love her...? Even after all this... After he's had the anger stage...

Who knows? This guy may not even have long to live. It would be a tragady not to fix this. Please, for the love of God, do unrequited fairy tale type endings with true love still happen these days—

Good lord! this story is too much!

I'm trying so hard right now not to be pissed at you. You do seem to be unaware of your own feelings till last week, but honestly! how could you doubt him after all he has done? Justify it the way you want...awkwardness, shy, uncomfortable... that is no way to treat someone who has been there for you through your darkest time:

"I could accept the fact that you don't return my feelings... I could understand that you felt uncomfortable...I could even deal with the fact that you don't want to see me... I've been dealing with all that for 2 years now. But please put yourlself in my shoes for once... the person you have feeling for ... after telling you all sort of promises such as "I won't be far" "everything wil be alright" and then just treat you like a freaking nobody...not once but twice... because this isn't the first time you treat me like this"

This right there is what hurt the most...I think getting a "hello" from you every now and then would have been enough for him...but instead you choose to play the silent treatment, and for what? because "2 years wasn't enough" because you needed to know that he can't live without you...

I really don't know what to tell you. You bailed out on him soo many times. You didn't want/need him when he was well.... why the hell now?? is what probably going through his head right now. Part of me really think you should go see him...because it shouldn't end like this. And he's been there for you for all this time, so I highly doubt he's completely over you.. try and be as persistent as he was for you. He might or might not forgive you, but don't you think you owe him at least that much? If you see him suffering even more and keep pushing you away...you might have indeed pushed him way too far unfortunately...

Try to be positive as he probably need that more than a wishy washy version of yourself. You kept saying that you really care for him... SHOW IT!!!

Really... good luck.

Posted by littlenanobyte

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by littlenanobyte

This story is very sad - I posted 30 minutes ago and am still thinking about it. He was there for her through what she said was her lowest point and he not only accepted her but supported her. Now here he is, very likely could be dying in a hospital room alone, after she promised she would be there for him, all so she could protect her fragile ego and feelings because she didn't feel like she was worshipped enough after 2 years? That she needed to know that he couldn't live without her?

This is going to be a karmic lesson for her.

It's just depressing and so, so wrong.

click to expand

I too can't get this story out of my head! And as much as I want this to be a lesson for her...I can't help but feel so sad for that Bull...thinking he might hope for something else...Arghhh this is frustrating!

Posted by sillyscorp
Since that day I've missed him a lot...I wanted to go see him again...but I'm afraid I'll just upset him even more...

And it's really hard for me to see him like that...I don't want him to think that I just pity him...

I can't really touch him even less kiss him as we were never together... and after all these years...I don't think we ever touch each other... not once..

I don't know how serious is his leukemia... I've heard of people getting out of it after a few treatments... other needed transplant...and others that died from it...I don't think I can bring myself to ask him how serious it is... but I'm really afraid of losing him right now...

My main objective wasn't to judge you.

Could have...Should have...Would have... is irrelevant in this case right now.

My end goal was to get you to 'fix' it.

Take my advice and 'fix' it...don't over-analyze it!

If someone I sincerely cared about was going through a life-threatening issue, I would move mountains to be there for them.

Something tells me that you're not emotionally strong or mental equipped to deal with this.

I sense some hesitation on your part.

When my mother suffered an aneurysm, I was by her side. I never once left. She needed to make a great recovery. I didn't take pity on her, but helped her to regain her strength, and get her acclimated to the daily activities that she was accustomed to prior to the surgery. I prayed over her at night. I had no prior care taking experience, don't ask me where I found the strength, knowledge, and perseverance to get her through this...but fortunately for my mother I did.

There are many threads created about Bulls on this site. The major issue with Bulls is the "Waiting Game." This is why we prefer to take our time and wait things out. As Busyeyes stated earlier, we're just creating longer ropes for people to hang themselves.

May this be a lesson to some Water Signs (not all), love, drama & emotions doesn't always equate to longevity.

There is something that can be learned from an Earth Sign such as staying power, strength, undying loyalty, and perseverance. We will not bail out on you when things get tough!

Good Luck to you.

And please take my advice.

Posted by sillyscorp

Posted by TaurusBull1977
Give him some space.



Give it a about a week or two.

Please avoid any 'modern' form of communication such as texting, social media or etc.

Stop by to see him.

Smell nice.

Touch him lightly.

Play his favorite songs on an Ipod.

Crack a joke.

Kiss him lightly on the lips.

Make sure to bring dessert.

Don't say too much. With Bulls, sometimes you have to learn to be in the 'moment' with them.

Since that day I've missed him a lot...I wanted to go see him again...but I'm afraid I'll just upset him even more...

And it's really hard for me to see him like that...I don't want him to think that I just pity him...

I can't really touch him even less kiss him as we were never together... and after all these years...I dont think we ever touch each other... not once..

I don't know how serious is his leukemia... I've heard of people getting out of it after a few treatments... other needed transplant...and others that died from it...I don't think I can bring myself to ask him how serious it is... but I'm really afraid of losing him right now...

click to expand

leave him alone. you're more toxic than the cancer at this point.

Posted by TaurusBull1977

Posted by sillyscorp

My main objective wasn't to judge you.

Could have...Should have...Would have... is irrelevant in this case right now.

My end goal was to get you to 'fix' it.

Take my advice and 'fix' it...don't over-analyze it!

If someone I sincerely cared about was going through a life-threatening issue, I would move mountains to be there for them.

Something tells me that you're not emotionally strong or mental equipped to deal with this.

I sense some hesitation on your part.

When my mother suffered an aneurysm, I was by her side. I never once left. She needed to make a great recovery. I didn't take pity on her, but helped her to regain her strength, and get her acclimated to the daily activities that she was accustomed to prior to the surgery. I prayed over her at night. I had no prior care taking experience, don't ask me where I found the strength, knowledge, and perseverance to get her through this...but fortunately for my mother I did.

There are many threads created about Bulls on this site. The major issue with Bulls is the "Waiting Game." This is why we prefer to take our time and wait things out. As Busyeyes stated earlier, we're just creating longer ropes for people to hang themselves.

May this be a lesson to some Water Signs (not all), love, drama & emotions doesn't always equate to longevity.

There is something that can be learned from an Earth Sign such as staying power, strength, undying loyalty, and perseverance. We will not bail out on you when things get tough!

Good Luck to you.

And please take my advice.

click to expand

I also think you should give it another shot...but only and only if you can go through it till the very end.

He has been so generous and so selfless for you, men like this are almost extinct so if you really care for him, do what you heart tell you...not your brain.

After all this time, I think you are the person best suited to know how he really feels... at least you should...

Just like he said... try to be in his shoes... what would you like? what would make you happy?

He really doesn't sound like a very complicated man... he sounded hurt and angry...but remember one thing...whenever you needed him HE WAS THERE...something in his speech tell me he still longs for you and is still waiting for you...but the YOU that he fell for...sigh... again... good luck!

Stories like these really piss me off....I mean this Board is filled with threads like "OMG help with this Taurus Man"..." Taurus man went cold" bla bla bla bla... but then, this is what happened to good "Taurus men"

Posted by NotSoInstant

Posted by Leylia12
Stories like these really piss me off....I mean this Board is filled with threads like "OMG help with this Taurus Man"..." Taurus man went cold" bla bla bla bla... but then, this is what happened to good "Taurus men"

My boyfriend is a Taurus and he is a great guy! I haven't met a playerish Taurus guy.

click to expand

My husband is also a wonderful Taurus man 🙂

I'm an Aries 🙂

My story with my Bull was also a really long story... so I somehow wish for OP happy ending.

And my closest friend is a scorpio chick... so this story really get to me!

Posted by Geminariescharmer
The bull is responsible for his actions, guys stop blaming op. If the bull was practical enough(he's Taurus though) he would have stop pursuing after he's not getting back the same level of attraction at the start.

I think you're missing the whole point... but sure...

And he did stop... didn't he? If you actually read the whole story...OP is actually the one trying to get him back

And no one is blaming her...we just want her to face the consequences of her actions... that's all

Posted by Redoctober2000

Posted by Leylia12
I'm an Aries 🙂

My story with my Bull was also a really long story... so I somehow wish for OP happy ending.

And my closest friend is a scorpio chick... so this story really get to me!

I read your story and so happy it had a fairytale ending 😄

I don't know why astrology says water sign is better for earth.. I personally think (bar a small percentage of water signs) that air (not aqua) and fire (not sag) work far better than water.

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I try not to get too sucked in into that astrology stuff...But I do find tendencyies in signs.

Years ago when I posted my story on these board... I was desperate... and I did get some very nice tips and advices...and lots of support so I just got back recently to read that story of mine (to reminisce)...how far we got in such little time 🙂

My Bull is very special to me 🙂 and they always says,,,, you never really know what you had till you lost it... soooo true!

I went to see him today...As soon as I entered his room, he let out a sigh and told me "please don't do that" I told him that if he wanted I can wait outside, but I really needed to be here...I told him that I owe him an apology and that I would never purposely hurt him.. then I felt tears starting to pour out of my eyes again so I asked him to excuse me a few minutes... I quickly ran out of the room and straight to the washroom to cry... I just can't help it...I did my best to control my emotion and clean myself before going back to his room. He didn't look at me when I got back in...he just looked down and shook his head.

Him: Please don't do that...

Me: I won't talk, I won't bother you, but please let me be here for a while.

Then we stay silent for 30 minutes

Him: that's enough... please go home now...I don't want you to see me like this...

Me: I understand... please take care...

Then I left... but I'll go see him again tomorrow...even if he doesn't talk to me... even if he is still mad at me...I don't care...I just want to be there with him.

Posted by sillyscorp
I went to see him today...As soon as I entered his room, he let out a sigh and told me "please don't do that" I told him that if he wanted I can wait outside, but I really needed to be here...I told him that I owe him an apology and that I would never purposely hurt him.. then I felt tears starting to pour out of my eyes again so I asked him to excuse me a few minutes... I quickly ran out of the room and straight to the washroom to cry... I just can't help it...I did my best to control my emotion and clean myself before going back to his room. He didn't look at me when I got back in...he just looked down and shook his head.

Him: Please don't do that...

Me: I won't talk, I won't bother you, but please let me be here for a while.

Then we stay silent for 30 minutes

Him: that's enough... please go home now...I don't want you to see me like this...

Me: I understand... please take care...

Then I left... but I'll go see him again tomorrow...even if he doesn't talk to me... even if he is still mad at me...I don't care...I just want to be there with him.

Glad to see you are still making it about you but shit, why change paths now?

I am not trying to make this about myself. What he said to me last week made me realise how much I had hurt him by abandoning him, and I won't do that mistake again. I am not expecting him to forgive me... I mean... I can't even forgive myself. But this time I will be there for him... with him and properly. And if I feel like I'm doing him more harm than good... then I will respect whatever choice he make....

I understand sillyscorp. Just do your best as you can. Always remember atleast you do something about it, might not be a good timing but those time you weren't ready yet so I won't blame why now.

Posted by sillyscorp
I am not trying to make this about myself. What he said to me last week made me realise how much I had hurt him by abandoning him, and I won't do that mistake again. I am not expecting him to forgive me... I mean... I can't even forgive myself. But this time I will be there for him... with him and properly. And if I feel like I'm doing him more harm than good... then I will respect whatever choice he make....

Omg. Mirror of myself in the past. Scorpio really have a hard time to accept defeat blaming ourselves because of what had happened.

Arise in that ashes. Awake your soul. Embrace yourself..soon you will master that weakness and conquer them in you and you gonna soar high.

Nothing can understand you. Only Scorpio.

Posted by sillyscorp
I went to see him today...As soon as I entered his room, he let out a sigh and told me "please don't do that" I told him that if he wanted I can wait outside, but I really needed to be here...I told him that I owe him an apology and that I would never purposely hurt him.. then I felt tears starting to pour out of my eyes again so I asked him to excuse me a few minutes... I quickly ran out of the room and straight to the washroom to cry... I just can't help it...I did my best to control my emotion and clean myself before going back to his room. He didn't look at me when I got back in...he just looked down and shook his head.

Him: Please don't do that...

Me: I won't talk, I won't bother you, but please let me be here for a while.

Then we stay silent for 30 minutes

Him: that's enough... please go home now...I don't want you to see me like this...

Me: I understand... please take care...

Then I left... but I'll go see him again tomorrow...even if he doesn't talk to me... even if he is still mad at me...I don't care ...I just want to be there with him.

You admit it, you don't care what he wants.

Your selfishness knows no bounds. Stop making this about you.

Posted by sillyscorp
I am not trying to make this about myself. What he said to me last week made me realise how much I had hurt him by abandoning him, and I won't do that mistake again. I am not expecting him to forgive me... I mean... I can't even forgive myself. But this time I will be there for him... with him and properly. And if I feel like I'm doing him more harm than good... then I will respect whatever choice he make....

You ARE making it all about yourself.

He's already made his choice. He's told you multiple times that he's done. He doesn't want you to visit him.

But all you can see are your own needs. Selfish.

It is not being "selfish". She is blaming herself at this point. This is war against her own. Unevolved scorp do that.

Posted by M143
It is not being "selfish". She is blaming herself at this point. This is war against her own. Unevolved scorp do that.

He doesn't want her there, has asked her many times not to visit her.

She's forcing herself on him because she feels guilty about how she's wronged him. If she truly loved him she would respect his wishes. Instead she makes it about what SHE wants. That is the definition of selfish.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by M143
It is not being "selfish". She is blaming herself at this point. This is war against her own. Unevolved scorp do that.

He doesn't want her there, has asked her many times not to visit her.

She's forcing herself on him because she feels guilty about how she's wronged him. If she truly loved him she would respect his wishes. Instead she makes it about what SHE wants. That is the definition of selfish.

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I agree with you but She is trying her best to convince him. I also believe that tomorrow is her last attempt to visit him and if he says he dont need her and hear the final choice. I trust her she can do it and serve the final request of him. That is how unevolved scorpio works. The last word is "respect"

Posted by M143

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by M143
It is not being "selfish". She is blaming herself at this point. This is war against her own. Unevolved scorp do that.

He doesn't want her there, has asked her many times not to visit her.

She's forcing herself on him because she feels guilty about how she's wronged him. If she truly loved him she would respect his wishes. Instead she makes it about what SHE wants. That is the definition of selfish.

I agree with you but She is trying her best to convince him. I also believe that tomorrow is her last attempt to visit him and if he says he dont need her and hear the final choice. I trust her she can do it and serve the final request of him. That is how unevolved scorpio works. The last word is "respect"

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The respectful thing would be to send a card with her apology and leave the ball in his court. Not pushing herself on him, ignoring his pleas and wishes. Inflicting further emotional pain when he already has so much physical pain to deal with.

A person needs to step up game to be with a Taurus. Yall need to prove to be in Hospital room next to someone who you are up and down up. And not feeling well. I would not want anyone to come see me.

Agree Geminariescharmer, your first comment is true. How can I blame this scorp when those time

She wasn't even ready yet to be in a relationship with him. Scorp don't like being force. Leave us a little room and we will give you a benefit of the doubts. We dont like chaser. We like to chase.

In our minds, once a guy kept on pursuing after declaring what we can offer..that is weakness. Scorpio need a strong man. Brave enough to walk away. Spot on. Indeed you know how to deal with us.

Most people dont know how to analyze the situation. They just throw words that could offend the one who needs it. Folks, we dont add sorrow to her troubles.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
A person needs to step up game to be with a Taurus. Yall need to prove to be in Hospital room next to someone who you are up and down up. And not feeling well. I would not want anyone to come see me.

Sillyscorp, listen to this. Rationally helpful.

Scorp sometimes loses its power to rationalize things specially unevolved scorp. Just calm down.

I agree with everything ladyneptune has written and I'll add this. At least in this time give him his dignity. He cared for you and now you see him when he is in a terrible state. It is a awful for thing for a man's ego to be shown at their weakest. What do you do? You cry.

He even said to you to go because he doesn't want you to see him that way. He is unwell and you still rob him of his vision to be a strong man. How difficult, uncomfortable and degrading it would have been to endure half an hour with you sitting in silence opposite him. He probably felt like a spectacle.

And in this moment, he was still indulging you and your feelings!

I actually think it is a good thing that you don't want to give up on him and that you want to be there for him. But I do think you need to respect his choice, If seeing you hurt him that much...I think you should give it some time and let him settle down a little bit. Needless to say that he went through a lot in such a short amount of time. He might need some time to coold down and process everything. He could have easily chase you out of the room, by calling the doctor or the nurse and tell them that he doesn`t want to see you, but he didn't. I didn't see his face so I'm just guessing here... but I think it's not as much as he hated you and don't want to see you... I actually think part of him is glad to see you...but as he said... he doesn.t want you to see him in such a state.

He let you stayed in the room with him for 30 minutes without saying a single word... then it became too much for him so he asked you to leave....how was his voice? Did he sound angry? How was his eyes did they look angry... or rather desperate?

You can maybe find a middle ground where you can show him that you are still there and care for him but wihtout forcing him to see you in his current state?

I don't know... how about instead of going to see him everyday.... you can just write him letters and ask his sister or friend to deliver them for you... that way he can at least take his time and read/understand what you`re trying to do... without the pressure of seeing you?

Again.... Good luck and hang in there!

@Infinite8: I don't think OP is such a bad person...even though through her insecutiry she did hurt that Bull so bad...however I do think in a way... it was innocent and not mischievous. I mean I red the whole story... and she did sincerely appreciate all that he had done for her... and seeing how messed up she is right now makes it even clearer...because I went through a similar situation (emotionaly) a few years ago... When I also screwed up and thought I had lost my Bull (now husband) forever. But I strongly believe this is how most people are when they realise that something important in their life is about to go POUF!!! You just lose all reasons! And I'm also one of the few people who think that it is actually ok to be selfish in love (not literally) but you can't really love someone if you don`t love yourself first (that is what my Bull Husband told me). And in this situation OP just completely lost it...that was her way to show him that she care and that she NEED him.... Clumsy? of course!.... but I really can't blame her. I mean her Bull is not a baby... if it was really unbearable he would have asked her to leave... and that was exactly what he did.

And if he realy didn't give a s.h.i.t about her anymore... trust me she won't be able to see him.

On the other hand... OP just need to learn to control her emotion better... especially around him.

She just needed to find that middle ground that's all... and whatever come next... she will need to deal with it... good or bad.

My closest friend is a scorpio chick, we are sooo different, but get along very well. We see each other so often that she is practically family...especially since last november (I`m currently on maternity leave) So she always visit me. She loves our daughter and get along very well with my Bull too. Every now and then she really likes to flirt with my Bull because she knows how jealous I am...and how uncomfortable my Bull is with flirtation...She`s a Scorpio after all...torturing people is like a hobby to them 🙂

But I love her... she has always been there for me and my Bull... especially when we first got back together.... she helped us a lot! and even though my Bull don't talk much and don't say it...He really appreciate her too 🙂

Posted by littlenanobyte
I'm not going to go into astrology with this, and normally I don't write out this much, but I took the time to read your story here and I think you need to really hear some of my words about this.

You don't get to treat people like garbage and tell them lies like "I'll always be there for you" only to be WISHY WASHY (this is coming from a gemini, mind you) and constantly "feel uncomfortable" later about fulfilling your promises. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

This man probably tried to tell you about his leukemia on multiple occasions but you were dismissive, angry, and "uncomfortable" any time he tried to confide in you - yet he was always there for you whenever you needed him?? I can tell by your post here that you operate only according to your own self interests.

Then all of a sudden, you find out he has leukemia and THEN you decide to care??

I can promise you that going into his hospital room after all of those absent months and crying profusely at the sight of him in his current state would have pissed me off too. Way to be strong for him (that was sarcasm). And people say that Scorpios are emotionally intelligent and empathic 😆 That is, hands down, the worst thing you could have done to add insult to injury to this poor dying man.

"I needed to know that he couldn't live without me, 2 years of him pining over me wasn't enough"

You are all the bad traits of Scorpio.

Selfish. Insecure. Manipulative. Weak minded. Pathetic. Scared of your own reflection. Makes oneself their own biggest enemy. Blind to all of this.

You need to get over yourself for what is probably the first time ever and apologize to this man and tell him the truth about your feelings for him if that's how you really and truly feel about him. And never pull that manipulative and insecure "protecting myself first" shit again because you'd be lucky if he gave you another chance.

damn, well said

Posted by MagicMona
..you done fucked up, that's what you done. let me speak frankly; you had something damn near every woman dreams of. a man who attempted to court you, woo you, and show you his feelings. how the hell did you get 'he will hurt me' from that? you turned away a man who thoughtfully SHOWED you love instead of giving you cheap talk. although i am one, i dont understand women at all. you silly broads fall for mr. wrong 9 times out of 10, but you run from mr. right. it's insulting that you managed to amass all this 'care' for him, only after you found out he was sick. i feel like it's more guilt than care. the smartest thing you can do is LEARN FROM THIS and give him time. you dont know how much it took for him to reveal his feelings to you, only for you to reject him. i wouldn't want to hear from you at least until my condition improved. he doesn't want your pity and all of a sudden care for him, because now it seems fake. funny how a person almost dying makes us realize how much they really mean to us. let the power trip go and open your heart. as scorpios, we need to stop thinking that people are going to 'hurt' us; we need to be more cautionary against hurting others.

^^^^^^ Word

Leylia12,

Op made a mistake. However we cannot blame her. She needs to control her emotions.

If I were in that situation. I maybe bring flowers and chocolate. apologise.no crying time. And just leave. No drama at all.

Posted by M143
Leylia12,

Op made a mistake. However we cannot blame her. She needs to control her emotions.

If I were in that situation. I maybe bring flowers and chocolate. apologise.no crying time. And just leave. No drama at all.

I can understand how hard it is to see him in such a state. Emotional or not, he currently need positivity in his life. Like I said, he could have throw her out of the room anytime he wanted, but he didn't. The problem here is... she chose the worst period of his life to tell him she love him. I think we a little time, (if they actually have time... sigh.) He will let her in once again...

Posted by Geminariescharmer

Posted by Leylia12

Posted by Geminariescharmer
The bull is responsible for his actions, guys stop blaming op. If the bull was practical enough(he's Taurus though) he would have stop pursuing after he's not getting back the same level of attraction at the start.

I think you're missing the whole point... but sure...

And he did stop... didn't he? If you actually read the whole story...OP is actually the one trying to get him back

And no one is blaming her...we just want her to face the consequences of her actions... that's all

Haha I did read, he could have stop chasing her when she said " thank you for all the gifts but we are just friends right" to save all his time. Taurus guy was buying her gifts and all, trying to convert her from Friend to lovers lol I hate to say that but that is weak.... Hmm. That is why when scorpios gals or any female in my life is playing mind games with me i shut them down immediately, no time for games man.

Currently I am with my scorp gal, she's trying to make me chase he and always asks me why am I not calling or texting or finding her haha, i would be like " I am sorry baby but u know I am busy, you could drop me a text to let me know u miss me and I will get back to u when I am done". Sometimes i feel kinda tired trying to out-masculine her and wish I can find someone who prefers to stay in her feminity more usually cancer ones but cancer ones are too emotional for a longterm relationship. Well to date a scorp gal u just have to always be in your toes

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What types of level of attraction from the start?

Hi @magicmona damn you okay over there? Lol