
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
😆


Posted by whatisthisallaboutI'm open to that idea sure, obviously that depends on the person. If that person wants to date others to sort out her options, go for it, just know that I may have a time limit on my end or vice versa. Usually on my end, if I've gone on 3-5 dates with you already, I'll usually know where I stand on things. It varies from person to person, but sometimes I've gone on one date only and I'll know then and there that I want to be exclusive. I may not propose it to them until they bring it up first. Sometimes it takes longer, like 3-5 dates or more. Though usually if it exceeds 3-5 dates, and it's really gone no where, I tend to just move onto the next. The ones that have worked best for me have been the ones where we hit it off pretty instantly. As a Taurus, if you somehow already have me comfortable around you without feeling judged or whatever, and it's only our first date? To me, you're like a 98% keeper, because that simply just rarely ever happens with anyone.Posted by earlorg16It seems to me that you feel it is cool for both parties to keep the options open in the early stage?
Her response is completely up to her, that is assuming we're in the beginning stages of seeing each other. I would prefer she tell me if she were on a date, but if she doesn't want to reveal it, I have no issues with that. I'm sure I'd find out in the future anyway, especially if we did end up dating.
Based on your experience, how many dates or how much time you'd spend with her (e.g 2-3 months) before you decide that you should become more seriously and be exclusive?click to expand


Posted by tizianiI hope more people are as chill/patient as you are 🙂Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by tizianiHow early do you bring up this kind of discussion?Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by tizianiSo how do you know where you stand with the girl then? 😕Posted by whatisthisallaboutI think that depends on the person.Posted by tizianiDo you think that if she likes you, she will stop talking to other guys naturally anyways?Posted by MontgomeryI'm sort of parallel to cvurko's thinking: other men don't matter. The problems (if there are any) between her and I would be our own to sort out.Posted by tizianiDo you think it should be presumed or avoidedPosted by MontgomeryLol it sounds like a reminder of why I avoided dating.Posted by tizianiIt is awkward. 😄
It sounds awkward.
@OP
Unless you've established a commitment, it
would kind of fall in the NOYB category.
If you want exclusivity, you have to ask for it.
🙂
And men asking for exclusivity sounds awkward to me. In all seriousness.
or... I'm a little confused.
😕
Vageenka said something I relate to in another thread about getting to know one another's values and that's very solid ground.
I'd say 6 months to a year is when we've known the truth about where we really stand.
click to expand

Posted by tizianiHow do you get to marriage without the dating stage
Unless it's marriage. That's fair game.

Posted by earlorg16Wow, you are a fast moving Taurus! I agree that usually after 3-5 dates, things can either get more serious or it just fades.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI'm open to that idea sure, obviously that depends on the person. If that person wants to date others to sort out her options, go for it, just know that I may have a time limit on my end or vice versa. Usually on my end, if I've gone on 3-5 dates with you already, I'll usually know where I stand on things. It varies from person to person, but sometimes I've gone on one date only and I'll know then and there that I want to be exclusive. I may not propose it to them until they bring it up first. Sometimes it takes longer, like 3-5 dates or more. Though usually if it exceeds 3-5 dates, and it's really gone no where, I tend to just move onto the next. The ones that have worked best for me have been the ones where we hit it off pretty instantly. As a Taurus, if you somehow already have me comfortable around you without feeling judged or whatever, and it's only our first date? To me, you're like a 98% keeper, because that simply just rarely ever happens with anyone.Posted by earlorg16It seems to me that you feel it is cool for both parties to keep the options open in the early stage?
Her response is completely up to her, that is assuming we're in the beginning stages of seeing each other. I would prefer she tell me if she were on a date, but if she doesn't want to reveal it, I have no issues with that. I'm sure I'd find out in the future anyway, especially if we did end up dating.
Based on your experience, how many dates or how much time you'd spend with her (e.g 2-3 months) before you decide that you should become more seriously and be exclusive?click to expand

Posted by IamAriesI guess it's a healthy way to look at it, yes 🙂
@whatisthisallabout
Wouldnt it be better of you focus on yourself and her only?
There will always be other people... but if she likes you she will naturally refuse other men advances.
Dont be put off by thoughts of her meeting other men. You will eventually have your answer.

Posted by whatisthisallaboutMy Aries-Venus and Gemini-Mars don't help. I'm a pretty quick Taurus yeah. I blame my air/fire placements 😄Posted by earlorg16Wow, you are a fast moving Taurus! I agree that usually after 3-5 dates, things can either get more serious or it just fades.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI'm open to that idea sure, obviously that depends on the person. If that person wants to date others to sort out her options, go for it, just know that I may have a time limit on my end or vice versa. Usually on my end, if I've gone on 3-5 dates with you already, I'll usually know where I stand on things. It varies from person to person, but sometimes I've gone on one date only and I'll know then and there that I want to be exclusive. I may not propose it to them until they bring it up first. Sometimes it takes longer, like 3-5 dates or more. Though usually if it exceeds 3-5 dates, and it's really gone no where, I tend to just move onto the next. The ones that have worked best for me have been the ones where we hit it off pretty instantly. As a Taurus, if you somehow already have me comfortable around you without feeling judged or whatever, and it's only our first date? To me, you're like a 98% keeper, because that simply just rarely ever happens with anyone.Posted by earlorg16It seems to me that you feel it is cool for both parties to keep the options open in the early stage?
Her response is completely up to her, that is assuming we're in the beginning stages of seeing each other. I would prefer she tell me if she were on a date, but if she doesn't want to reveal it, I have no issues with that. I'm sure I'd find out in the future anyway, especially if we did end up dating.
Based on your experience, how many dates or how much time you'd spend with her (e.g 2-3 months) before you decide that you should become more seriously and be exclusive?click to expand

Posted by whatisthisallaboutI would normally know that information before even asking her out in the first place. If by chance, that information happened to slip through the cracks, i'm dropping her before a second date occurs for sure.Posted by TeddyBearMDSo do you ask her if she's seeing other people when you ask her out on a first date?
When a bitch tells me that she's dating around, I don't take her seriously anymore. And I definitely quit paying for her fucking meals and shit. I'm not going to be just another simp that pays for you to eat every week.
On top of that, if we date, and she's still "dating around". Obviously she's not that into me, so fuck that bitch.click to expand

Posted by tizianiI get what you mean. Sounds like you're not into the boyfriend/ girlfriend stage. LolPosted by BubbleLeafWe might just be splitting hairs at this point.Posted by tizianiHow do you get to marriage without the dating stage
Unless it's marriage. That's fair game.
What I understand as "dating" is a set of standards and expected behaviour that I feel I have zero experience with, when I read about it on here.
I spend time with the woman I'm interested in and you or others might call that "the dating stage" or not. I've never been married but I definitely picture myself as the one asking for marriage, whereas I don't picture myself ever asking a woman to be exclusive.click to expand

Posted by whatisthisallaboutI think it's important to establish what you're looking for or not looking for prior to your first date. That gives both sides the opportunity to decide whether or not they're 'in'... IMOPosted by leowwwI guess then it is better to clarify these things before even going on a first date?Posted by DreamyboyThis.
I'd definitely want to know so that I know I'm not wasting my time.
I'm too old school for "nonchalant dating".
I'd wanna know.
Plus.. To me dating you're already exclusive, otherwise we're just hanging out getting to know each other.click to expand

Posted by tizianiWhich one?
It sounds awkward.

Posted by tizianiAhhh...Posted by GemitatiHaving a conversation where someone has to hide how their day went.Posted by tizianiWhich one?
It sounds awkward.click to expand

Posted by leowwwBingo.Posted by DreamyboyThis.
I'd definitely want to know so that I know I'm not wasting my time.
I'm too old school for "nonchalant dating".
I'd wanna know.
Plus.. To me dating you're already exclusive, otherwise we're just hanging out getting to know each other.click to expand

Posted by VageenkaHow do you define serial daters?
Serial daters and relationship jumpers I secretly have no respect for. We can be frans but secretly I look down on these people.
Yes, it would bother me if I built a good enough connection with someone to go out with them and hang out and they're going on dates with a bunch of other people. They would be gone from my life ASAP but not before I drag them with my words. ?

Posted by WalkergrlCool. thanks!Posted by whatisthisallaboutI think it's important to establish what you're looking for or not looking for prior to your first date. That gives both sides the opportunity to decide whether or not they're 'in'... IMOPosted by leowwwI guess then it is better to clarify these things before even going on a first date?Posted by DreamyboyThis.
I'd definitely want to know so that I know I'm not wasting my time.
I'm too old school for "nonchalant dating".
I'd wanna know.
Plus.. To me dating you're already exclusive, otherwise we're just hanging out getting to know each other.click to expand

Posted by Pisces1803You are very lucky that you hit it off when you first met. Many people I met online have proven to be not worth my time within 3 dates :p
Plus on my first date with my Fiancé we both established that we're looking for a long term relationship/boyfriend/girlfriend. Not someone to hook up with or have fun.
So it was a given that we were both on the same page and that we're not dating other people.
Probably helps the fact that we went on 3 dates in three days and spoke and text on the phone daily during the week when we're working and didn't have time to see each other until the weekend.

Posted by beautifulsoul74Have you done online dating?Posted by leowwwBingo.Posted by DreamyboyThis.
I'd definitely want to know so that I know I'm not wasting my time.
I'm too old school for "nonchalant dating".
I'd wanna know.
Plus.. To me dating you're already exclusive, otherwise we're just hanging out getting to know each other.
First, what a person decides to do will govern their whole approach and while dating someone is in many ways complicated; wanting a committted and exclusive relationship entails simple principles much like anything else in life. Someone doesn't just become a doctor or attorney. They have to go to school, learn what it takes to be in that field...and then...practice the profession...and it is essentially about knowing what it takes to be in a committed and exclusive relationship(assuming that is what someone wants) and practicing it from the very beginning.
Therefore, for me personally, if the scenario in the OP takes place and she says I went out on a date...I'll no longer consider her for dating. I won't get mad, jealous, or hold any ill will against her...not at all. She free to do as she wishes and I treat people as adults. I'll honor and respect her choice to live her life as she sees fit. But for me, realistically it tells me that she's not serious about commitment and the reason is simple...we're creatures of habit and if exclusivity is not a habit in the beginning...it's unlikely to change even if she finds me special. That last sentence may not make sense but if you think about how people "date"now a days...it does. When someone truly wants different...they'll date different. It's that simple 🙂click to expand

Posted by Freetobe007It's online dating. Even if the first date or two went well, it does not mean you actaully know the person, if at all. It takes a little longer for people to show who they are. Also, if the guy's a catch, then it'd be just as likely that he would meet someone else the next day after the amazing 2nd date with you. It might be a little silly to cut everyone else off just because you had 2 good first dates, no? 😕Posted by whatisthisallaboutThanks! So what is it that you like about that style of dating?Posted by Freetobe007I haven't had sex with any of my prospects but good point.
Yes. I want to know what I'm signing up for. Especiaially if there's sex involved because at that point, he could be putting me at risk just to date around and be passive about it. I'm not cool with the idea of dating a man who just had someone else's ass bouncing on his cock.
Idk how you do it, one man is headache enough for me lol I can't juggle intimate bonds like that. I'd feel disrespected like there's a complete disregard for my feelings and like the relationship revolves around his needs/desires.
click to expand

Posted by whatisthisallaboutSo until then she should date...that's all I'm sayin.Posted by LibrajeanI think guys usually know if they are attracted to the girl very quickly, but it may take them a while to decide if they want to date the girl seriously...
Or step it up and tell her u want to be exclusive??
She is in search of her next boyfriend maybe your not making your feelings clear. Why should she wait around? If you want her tell her you want her..then if she tells you she doesn't want to be exclusive then disengage. There are some men that will express their feelings...so if she is the one you want, then go for it..click to expand


Posted by Pisces1803The old fashioned ways of dating is def better. The only thing is when I used to date within my circle, everyone ended up dating every one else's exes =.=
Having heard not so much good things about online dating, I'm so glad I didn't have to experience it.
But in all honesty I like the old ways of dating where you meet a guy and he will ask a girl out and then the courting begins.
I miss the old fashion ways of dating. Definitely born in the wrong era.

Posted by UndineThanks for sharing your perspective. Yea, I feel it is not fair for a guy to ask for a girl to be exclusive while he doesn't even know how serious he wants to be with the girl.
When I was dating, I have never been asked by a man if I'm dating others. Of course I did, I'm not an idiot to narrow it down to one relative stranger after a few dates.
A man asking about his competition...it kind of sounds insecure as fuck, which is a turn off. If he get turned off as well because he didn't reach exclusivity some 986 days before he was considering settling down...ah well, he writes himself off...incompatibility at its best!
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