How do you know when a man is biding his time with you?

I know of men who stay in long term relationships out of convenience. So how do you identify a man who is genuinely into you vs. someone who is with you because you're a safe bet while he kills time?

Posted by Sagberry
Consistency and progress..

What do you mean by progress?

Posted by tiziani
You'll meet someone you'll just be really into and convince yourself he is too. And he probably will be. Others will look from the outside and say "I think they just took the safe bet" but to you both it won't matter.

You're not answering the question though. How do you know he's not biding his time? What are things he does or says that would show that?

If you can't figure it out based on his actions you have a discussion about it and get to the bottom of it. Since there's no way to read minds, we have to admit the things we're worried about and talk about them with the people in our lives. More than likely this worry isn't reality-based by stems from insecurities due to past disappointments or general fears & grappling to find stability. Which is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of, it's just your responsibility to get to the bottom of it directly rather than over analyzing everything he says and does (doing that will just confuse you).

Talking about it = ripping the bandaid off

Over analyzing and theorizing= always having the feeling of slowly peeling the bandaid off, but never actually making any progress. (Also known as torture.)

From what I have witnessed, different scenarios will play out depending on the circumstances. There is no scientific formula.

Scenario 1: This woman was with this man for 17 years. 5 children and no marriage. When the first child was born, he was never over his ex, and I guess this woman was the 'rebound' who became pregnant. He did the right thing. He got them an apartment, was the sole provider, a great father and was real good to her. Then came the 2nd child, 3rd child...and then he fell in love with someone else. He moved out to be with her. Then she contacted him telling him that he was deserting his family, out of guilt, he decided to reconcile with her. Then came the 4th child, and then the last child, he reconciled with the other woman and realized the love never went away. He left the mother of his 5 children and married this woman.

Scenario 2: This man marries and has two daughters with this woman. Never cheated, loving husband and father, great provider. However, he will nitpick things about her, here and there,mainly due to her physical appearance. Prior to him dating her, he had a specific type of woman that he was attracted to, but they never worked out. He considered her to be a much safer option, but a part of him wish he was as attracted to her as he had been to the prior women he dated. They're still married. No infidelity.

How to tell if someone is settling for you?

Gut Instinct.

Knowing deep in your heart that you were never their first choice.

Gut instinct! Yep.

He will genuinely care ... Like when you're silent ... He will hold you... Hmm this is a tricky question .... You just know ... Can't explain ... If he is wasting time on the relationship you will know that too... Poor communication is a big one ... They want be honest ... Their actions will show something else

If you feel used or like you are doing the majority of work in a relationship then more than likely it's for his convenience.

But if he is making sacrifices and you both together are investing towards a better future (house, family, business, money, marriage) then I would say he is serious.