Cry, Baby

So...

My boyfriend and I had an interesting experience last night. I cried after doing intimate things. It was so random and unexpected, and I didn't understand it. I just started to cry. He was worried and asked if I was alright, asked if he hurt me. Through my tears, I reassured him that he didn't hurt me, and that he was amazing. It wasn't too prolonged. I covered my face and just cried. "Look at me." He gently placed his hands over mine, and I allowed him to remove my hands from my face. Unlike in the past, where I kept my eyes tightly shut and told the guy "I'm not here," I was able to open my eyes and look into his. I'm certain I gave him a quirky smile because he let out a nervous laugh. Soon, I wasn't crying anymore.

He scooped me up and held me; I was the little spoon. We talked, about what I can't really remember. He no doubt asked me about the crying, and I had no answer, but that wasn't the main subject. Before I knew it, he was fast asleep, and I drifted into slumber, following after him.

This wasn't like my past experience of feeling dread, panic, and of hyperventilating during/after sexual acts. I wasn't distressed, and I wasn't fearful. This has been drifting in and out of my mind thoughtout the day as I try to understand my behavior. Is this merely part of the female experience? I do not know.

Has this ever happened to any of you ladies before?

awww you had a vunerable moment it sounds like. Yes i have cried after before. Was not because of anything said or done, it was a release. Of stress mostly, for me my guard is down when i am intimate with a partner.. and that can make the emotions rise to the surface.

I'm still very much discovering more about myself, and more about my different selves in various situations. It's an interesting, yet slightly unnerving, feeling to know that I don't know myself completely. Sure, I've said it before; it's one of those cliches I used to echo because it made me sound self-aware and real. But now more than ever am I truly experiencing what it means.

Thanks ladies

Crying through a ex is good for the partner because it causes your insides to contracts and become tighter so keep up the good work!

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
Crying through a ex is good for the partner because it causes your insides to contracts and become tighter so keep up the good work!

The crying happened once and it was after, though. I have no idea whether to expect it to happen again or not since I don't fully understand the root of the cause of my tears, specifically.

Theoretically, wouldn't laughing have the same affect? I do have fits of giggles, too. Outright belly laughs, sometimes.

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
Crying through a ex is good for the partner because it causes your insides to contracts and become tighter so keep up the good work!

lol

At the end of the day, you're still a dude.

Ah, I'm feeling emotional for no reason, have been feeling that way since last night. Not sure what it is, but I can feel it. My cheeks and area around my eyes tend to heat up in these moments. I busied myself with the magazines on the 3rd at the library today during my shift so I didn't have to speak to anyone. I missed both my honors psychology & speech classes.

My boyfriend texted me to text him when I was done with work. He has a late math class. I walked home and then texted him. He asked if I wanted to come over tonight. I responded, "No, thank you. Not tonight."

I am retreating into my shell. I can feel it. I go through these phases, they usually pass. I'll have to let it pass...

What an odd occurance. Almost as soon as I was done posting my above comment, my boyfriend came by. He merely dropped off a small white box and left immediately. My brothers called me down. I didn't feel like seeing them. I went into the living room to find a fruit tart he had brought me. What a cheerful looking dessert.

Why? Can he somehow sense that I am feeling down? Is what I'm feeling an emotion that can be described as "down"? Am I even sad? Is that the same as unhappy? How can I be unhappy when I'm blessed with so much? That can't be it.

This is the second time now that he has shown me kindness as well as respected my space, my turtle shell hideaway, when I fall into this inexplicable mood. A woman once told me he isn't right for me, he is an atheist while I am religious, and it's inappropriate for me to be with him. That hurt me inside. It hurt me because my boyfriend had to be there to hear it. He handled it better than I did. I managed to contain my poise, but that facade came down the moment he and I left, hand-in-hand, and got into his car. Ever since that moment I have been over-thinking, and battling over-thinking.

His kind gesture tonight just makes me want to cry. I want to curl up under my covers and cry. Whether they are tears of gratitude or tears of pain or tears of confusion and frustration, I do not know. I will clean up, and then try to sleep. Perhaps running the vacuum will calm me enough to brew tea and eat his gift for me. Heh, I know: Virgo rising problems.

Hopefully, tomorrow, this cluster cuss of emotions will have passed. Or come down in the form of snow, not to stick, but to melt away. With almost all forms of precipitate comes clarity.