MUMS - Putting Your Child First - or Not.

Posted by Fanta

I see a lot of mothers and fathers not giving up anything for their kids. Their kids are fucked.

Posted by Lostthoughts

Your life isn't just your own. Same with dads.

You have to take that into account. That's it☺

Posted by Fanta

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

I see a lot of mothers and fathers not giving up anything for their kids. Their kids are fucked.

Are you a mum?

What about kids who are brought up with the best of everything?

2 parents. Nice house. Money. Never going without.

They are the most Fucked of all!.

So are you a mum?

Have you even understood my question??

I'm not a mom because I don't want the responsibility. I understand the question quite well. Want to hear a story?

My roommate and one of my BFFs got married and had a baby when we were 22. When the baby was 2 she decided she didn't like her life and for her son to be happy, she should be happy, so she left him and moved out of state. She started a whole new life. She is dead of cirrhosis of the liver now, and he is dead from committing suicide half a year later.

click to expand

Posted by neves

Not the DXP moms, that's for sure. If they wake up in the middle of the night and their house is on fire - their main priority is sure to be their phone/laptop. You know, so they'll make a topic about it on DXP. Something like: "If your house is on fire what will you do (asking for a friend...)? 🤔"

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

I see a lot of mothers and fathers not giving up anything for their kids. Their kids are fucked.

Are you a mum?

What about kids who are brought up with the best of everything?

2 parents. Nice house. Money. Never going without.

They are the most Fucked of all!.

So are you a mum?

Have you even understood my question??

I'm not a mom because I don't want the responsibility. I understand the question quite well. Want to hear a story?

My roommate and one of my BFFs got married and had a baby when we were 22. When the baby was 2 she decided she didn't like her life and for her son to be happy, she should be happy, so she left him and moved out of state. She started a whole new life. She is dead of cirrhosis of the liver now, and he is dead from committing suicide half a year later.

Thank you for the story but thats not quite the point!

Why is she dead from Cirrosis? Is she an Alcoholic? I thought she moved away to be happy?

That's a very extreme case!

I'm simply talking about the fact that mums should not be made to feel guilty for wanting to be happy as a mum..eg leaving a marriage and starting again even they break-ups affect kids.

I'm not talking about death and suicide.

click to expand

Posted by pooface222

Posted by neves

Not the DXP moms, that's for sure. If they wake up in the middle of the night and their house is on fire - their main priority is sure to be their phone/laptop. You know, so they'll make a topic about it on DXP. Something like: "If your house is on fire what will you do (asking for a friend...)? 🤔"

Ok thanks for that. Well my child would be my first priority is my house was on fire.

But again...thats an Extreme example!

click to expand

Posted by neves

Posted by pooface222

Posted by neves

Not the DXP moms, that's for sure. If they wake up in the middle of the night and their house is on fire - their main priority is sure to be their phone/laptop. You know, so they'll make a topic about it on DXP. Something like: "If your house is on fire what will you do (asking for a friend...)? 🤔"

Ok thanks for that. Well my child would be my first priority is my house was on fire.

But again...thats an Extreme example!

Nah, you don't fool me (: you're just saying that now - cause it sounds right). But hey, look on the bright side - since you're a DXP mom - your child is probably safe (since that's the one who start the fire...

If you have Nothing Nice to say, or Nothing Constructive..say nothing at all.

Are You a mum?

I guess not.

Are you even a woman?

I'm guessing you're a man.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/nintchdbpict000252984348.jpg<div class="bqfade">click to expand

Posted by Fanta

I see a lot of mothers and fathers not giving up anything for their kids. Their kids are fucked.

Posted by Fanta

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

I see a lot of mothers and fathers not giving up anything for their kids. Their kids are fucked.

Are you a mum?

What about kids who are brought up with the best of everything?

2 parents. Nice house. Money. Never going without.

They are the most Fucked of all!.

So are you a mum?

Have you even understood my question??

I'm not a mom because I don't want the responsibility. I understand the question quite well. Want to hear a story?

My roommate and one of my BFFs got married and had a baby when we were 22. When the baby was 2 she decided she didn't like her life and for her son to be happy, she should be happy, so she left him and moved out of state. She started a whole new life. She is dead of cirrhosis of the liver now, and he is dead from committing suicide half a year later.

Thank you for the story but thats not quite the point!

Why is she dead from Cirrosis? Is she an Alcoholic? I thought she moved away to be happy?

That's a very extreme case!

I'm simply talking about the fact that mums should not be made to feel guilty for wanting to be happy as a mum..eg leaving a marriage and starting again even they break-ups affect kids.

I'm not talking about death and suicide.

It's an extreme example, but I saw it happen. I was at his birth. She became an alcoholic years on to deal with the pain of what she'd done, in my personal opinion.

What is your reason for the thread? Is someone in your life accusing you of not putting your child first? What do you want to put in front of your child?

I also mention it, because this kid had everything he needed. His father made good money. He had a stepmother and younger siblings who adored him. He went to a good school. He was talented and attractive and had girls all over him. He never got over the pain of not being put first in his mother's life.

click to expand

Posted by Solaristic

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

I see a lot of mothers and fathers not giving up anything for their kids. Their kids are fucked.

Are you a mum?

What about kids who are brought up with the best of everything?

2 parents. Nice house. Money. Never going without.

They are the most Fucked of all!.

So are you a mum?

Have you even understood my question??

I'm not a mom because I don't want the responsibility. I understand the question quite well. Want to hear a story?

My roommate and one of my BFFs got married and had a baby when we were 22. When the baby was 2 she decided she didn't like her life and for her son to be happy, she should be happy, so she left him and moved out of state. She started a whole new life. She is dead of cirrhosis of the liver now, and he is dead from committing suicide half a year later.

Thank you for the story but thats not quite the point!

Why is she dead from Cirrosis? Is she an Alcoholic? I thought she moved away to be happy?

That's a very extreme case!

I'm simply talking about the fact that mums should not be made to feel guilty for wanting to be happy as a mum..eg leaving a marriage and starting again even they break-ups affect kids.

I'm not talking about death and suicide.

The mom guilt is real and it's unfair for so many reasons.

click to expand

Posted by pooface222

Posted by neves

Posted by pooface222

Posted by neves

Not the DXP moms, that's for sure. If they wake up in the middle of the night and their house is on fire - their main priority is sure to be their phone/laptop. You know, so they'll make a topic about it on DXP. Something like: "If your house is on fire what will you do (asking for a friend...)? 🤔"

Ok thanks for that. Well my child would be my first priority is my house was on fire.

But again...thats an Extreme example!

Nah, you don't fool me (: you're just saying that now - cause it sounds right). But hey, look on the bright side - since you're a DXP mom - your child is probably safe (since that's the one who start the fire...

If you have Nothing Nice to say, or Nothing Constructive..say nothing at all.

Are You a mum?

I guess not.

Are you even a woman?

I'm guessing you're a man.

click to expand

Posted by neves

Posted by pooface222

Posted by neves

Posted by pooface222

Posted by neves

Not the DXP moms, that's for sure. If they wake up in the middle of the night and their house is on fire - their main priority is sure to be their phone/laptop. You know, so they'll make a topic about it on DXP. Something like: "If your house is on fire what will you do (asking for a friend...)? 🤔"

Ok thanks for that. Well my child would be my first priority is my house was on fire.

But again...thats an Extreme example!

Nah, you don't fool me (: you're just saying that now - cause it sounds right). But hey, look on the bright side - since you're a DXP mom - your child is probably safe (since that's the one who start the fire...

If you have Nothing Nice to say, or Nothing Constructive..say nothing at all.

Are You a mum?

I guess not.

Are you even a woman?

I'm guessing you're a man.

Actually, I'm neither. I used to be an Angel (per se 😇) - but i got into messy fight with my old man (supposedly, what i did and said - wasn't nice 🙄) - so he kicked me out of heaven... 👿 And now, well, i'm the Devil. 😈 That being said...

https://i.imgur.com/gmMQc2H.gif<div class="bqfade">click to expand

Posted by Fanta

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

I see a lot of mothers and fathers not giving up anything for their kids. Their kids are fucked.

Are you a mum?

What about kids who are brought up with the best of everything?

2 parents. Nice house. Money. Never going without.

They are the most Fucked of all!.

So are you a mum?

Have you even understood my question??

I'm not a mom because I don't want the responsibility. I understand the question quite well. Want to hear a story?

My roommate and one of my BFFs got married and had a baby when we were 22. When the baby was 2 she decided she didn't like her life and for her son to be happy, she should be happy, so she left him and moved out of state. She started a whole new life. She is dead of cirrhosis of the liver now, and he is dead from committing suicide half a year later.

Thank you for the story but thats not quite the point!

Why is she dead from Cirrosis? Is she an Alcoholic? I thought she moved away to be happy?

That's a very extreme case!

I'm simply talking about the fact that mums should not be made to feel guilty for wanting to be happy as a mum..eg leaving a marriage and starting again even they break-ups affect kids.

I'm not talking about death and suicide.

It's an extreme example, but I saw it happen. I was at his birth. She became an alcoholic years on to deal with the pain of what she'd done, in my personal opinion.

What is your reason for the thread? Is someone in your life accusing you of not putting your child first? What do you want to put in front of your child?

I also mention it, because this kid had everything he needed. His father made good money. He had a stepmother and younger siblings who adored him. He went to a good school. He was talented and attractive and had girls all over him. He never got over the pain of not being put first in his mother's life.

I was struggling to leave an abusive marriage. Not physical but emotional and mental abuse and highly manipulative and secretive.

I had a baby to him but THAT is when the Abuse started! I was trapped.

I met another man who was kind gentle and loving. I wanted to be with him. We were in love. My baby was 4months when he came to me.

I was so scared of leaving because of the deep insecurity left in me by the abuse. I was as a result to scared to be with this man. It wasn't him, it was me. My fear.

It felt so right. Like we were made for each other. Same feelings. Same beliefs. Same interests. Same life goals. Same way of expressing our emotions. We could talk without using words. We could hear each others thoughts.

And through talking it turned out we've been following each other for the last 25yrs but never knew..xx

So when telling my (mummy), friends of my misery lonliness and pain, and my love for this man, all I got was "Think of your child. Think of your child."

FFS! I thought of her ALL THE TIME!

It was ME I wasn't looking after! I ignored my Own emotional and mental needs and my need to be happy and loved.

Hence..why i wrote this post.

I love my child to bits! She's gorgeous. BUT what about ME. My happiness! I was depressed and lonely and abused. And my friends just went on and on about my child!

She was fine. It was me!

I took her to playgroups. Swimming. The park. Trips to see my mum and sister. Played loads with her at home too.

I was neglecting myself.

Do you mind revealing how old you are?

Putting your child first doesn't necessarily mean staying with the father. In some cases, it might actually mean separating to give the child a more stable environment.

Do your friends lead lives that seem happy and fulfilling to you? Are they in a position to give good advice? If so, I think they're responding less to leaving the father and more to you sounding unstable and like you're rushing into something with rose-colored glasses. You could hear each others' thoughts? What?

click to expand

Posted by LaPetiteEtoile

Posted by Fanta

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

I see a lot of mothers and fathers not giving up anything for their kids. Their kids are fucked.

Are you a mum?

What about kids who are brought up with the best of everything?

2 parents. Nice house. Money. Never going without.

They are the most Fucked of all!.

So are you a mum?

Have you even understood my question??

I'm not a mom because I don't want the responsibility. I understand the question quite well. Want to hear a story?

My roommate and one of my BFFs got married and had a baby when we were 22. When the baby was 2 she decided she didn't like her life and for her son to be happy, she should be happy, so she left him and moved out of state. She started a whole new life. She is dead of cirrhosis of the liver now, and he is dead from committing suicide half a year later.

Thank you for the story but thats not quite the point!

Why is she dead from Cirrosis? Is she an Alcoholic? I thought she moved away to be happy?

That's a very extreme case!

I'm simply talking about the fact that mums should not be made to feel guilty for wanting to be happy as a mum..eg leaving a marriage and starting again even they break-ups affect kids.

I'm not talking about death and suicide.

It's an extreme example, but I saw it happen. I was at his birth. She became an alcoholic years on to deal with the pain of what she'd done, in my personal opinion.

What is your reason for the thread? Is someone in your life accusing you of not putting your child first? What do you want to put in front of your child?

I also mention it, because this kid had everything he needed. His father made good money. He had a stepmother and younger siblings who adored him. He went to a good school. He was talented and attractive and had girls all over him. He never got over the pain of not being put first in his mother's life.

I was struggling to leave an abusive marriage. Not physical but emotional and mental abuse and highly manipulative and secretive.

I had a baby to him but THAT is when the Abuse started! I was trapped.

I met another man who was kind gentle and loving. I wanted to be with him. We were in love. My baby was 4months when he came to me.

I was so scared of leaving because of the deep insecurity left in me by the abuse. I was as a result to scared to be with this man. It wasn't him, it was me. My fear.

It felt so right. Like we were made for each other. Same feelings. Same beliefs. Same interests. Same life goals. Same way of expressing our emotions. We could talk without using words. We could hear each others thoughts.

And through talking it turned out we've been following each other for the last 25yrs but never knew..xx

So when telling my (mummy), friends of my misery lonliness and pain, and my love for this man, all I got was "Think of your child. Think of your child."

FFS! I thought of her ALL THE TIME!

It was ME I wasn't looking after! I ignored my Own emotional and mental needs and my need to be happy and loved.

Hence..why i wrote this post.

I love my child to bits! She's gorgeous. BUT what about ME. My happiness! I was depressed and lonely and abused. And my friends just went on and on about my child!

She was fine. It was me!

I took her to playgroups. Swimming. The park. Trips to see my mum and sister. Played loads with her at home too.

I was neglecting myself.

Do you mind revealing how old you are?

Putting your child first doesn't necessarily mean staying with the father. In some cases, it might actually mean separating to give the child a more stable environment.

Do your friends lead lives that seem happy and fulfilling to you? Are they in a position to give good advice? If so, I think they're responding less to leaving the father and more to you sounding unstable and like you're rushing into something with rose-colored glasses. You could hear each others' thoughts? What?

This is the same op as the thread where she was complaining about getting divorced.

She’s just trying to rationalize.

click to expand

Posted by Solaristic

I am only beginning to understand how little the mother's sacrifice is taken into account, especially when they're pregnant... their body is JUST for the baby, and after birth with surging hormones, bleeding lochia for weeks, sore cracked bleeding nipples and tons of unwanted advice the baby gets like 3 check ups in the first month, the mom? She gets 1 post partum appt about 8 weeks after delivery.

Women have long been expected to just be mom right from giving birth, still in pain they take care of their baby 24/7, sometimes feeding all night a colicky baby and the husband sleeps... the expectations that the house should be clean. Laundry done, food on the table, etc... its madness. And I understand the Dad's sacrifice too but that's not what we are talking about here.

I'm glad that society is pushing for moms to recieve more care and help, and im glad my husband is helpful and never criticized me for "not being able to get all of it done.."

But, this new precious baby is a full time job that requires patience, love and saificing eating to feed baby at times, people want to visit to see the baby but what ab the mom? And if you allow ppl to come visit then demand you not breastfeed in your own home in front of them!!! Fucking madness there.. I didnt give a shit, I breastfed everywhere and to hell with anyone who had a problem. If people came to visit they either held baby so I could shower, or eat, or they brought food and folded the evergrowing mound of laundry mountain... or I'd tell people who wanted to come help that, "sure, 4am would be super helpful, come help me feed the baby so I can nap" and they're likeummmhat? You HEARD ME. you help or you stay tf away ntil I am ready.



It's not that the mom doesn't want to care for the baby or has to choose, but she can ensure those around are actually helping her and stand up for herself and her child's needs in ways that are helpful to the new mom.



And this is just about the 1st few months. It gets worse after this period of newborn to baby stage comes.

Posted by tiziani

yeah i’m not a woman but i’ve seen the “put your child first always” mentality be incredibly damaging.

a child needs to see why it’s actually worth becoming an independent adult in time. if the only example of adulting they have is “i sacrificed everything for you” they never want to cut off the cord. and even go onto see themselves as martyrs in their own relationships.

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Solaristic

I am only beginning to understand how little the mother's sacrifice is taken into account, especially when they're pregnant... their body is JUST for the baby, and after birth with surging hormones, bleeding lochia for weeks, sore cracked bleeding nipples and tons of unwanted advice the baby gets like 3 check ups in the first month, the mom? She gets 1 post partum appt about 8 weeks after delivery.

Women have long been expected to just be mom right from giving birth, still in pain they take care of their baby 24/7, sometimes feeding all night a colicky baby and the husband sleeps... the expectations that the house should be clean. Laundry done, food on the table, etc... its madness. And I understand the Dad's sacrifice too but that's not what we are talking about here.

I'm glad that society is pushing for moms to recieve more care and help, and im glad my husband is helpful and never criticized me for "not being able to get all of it done.."

But, this new precious baby is a full time job that requires patience, love and saificing eating to feed baby at times, people want to visit to see the baby but what ab the mom? And if you allow ppl to come visit then demand you not breastfeed in your own home in front of them!!! Fucking madness there.. I didnt give a shit, I breastfed everywhere and to hell with anyone who had a problem. If people came to visit they either held baby so I could shower, or eat, or they brought food and folded the evergrowing mound of laundry mountain... or I'd tell people who wanted to come help that, "sure, 4am would be super helpful, come help me feed the baby so I can nap" and they're likeummmhat? You HEARD ME. you help or you stay tf away ntil I am ready.



It's not that the mom doesn't want to care for the baby or has to choose, but she can ensure those around are actually helping her and stand up for herself and her child's needs in ways that are helpful to the new mom.



And this is just about the 1st few months. It gets worse after this period of newborn to baby stage comes.

Thank you xx thank you Sooo much..I could Kiss you!

THIS is exactly what I've been trying to say in my post here!

And you've put it Clearly.

SACRIFICE! No-one gives a shit just how much a mother sacrifices! And right from the moment she is pregnant.

Can't drink. Can't eat certain foods. Her ever expanding body means she cant even wesr hwr own normal clothes. This is not a majot sacrifice though..bht its the beginning of EVERYTHING a woman can no longer do!

As you said..a woman is just EXPECTED to be mum right from the start. No one cares about the mum once her baby is born. Its all about the baby.

Screw her lack of sleep. Screw her hormones. Screw her sore breasts. Screw the fact that she's too tired all the fking time!

Hey life goes on mummy so get the fk on with it!

Motherhood is actually quite horrible when you truly think about it.

I'm not saying the kids are horrible..I'm saying MOTHERHOOD the Role is horrible

click to expand

Posted by pooface222

Posted by neves

Posted by pooface222

Posted by neves

Posted by pooface222

Posted by neves

Not the DXP moms, that's for sure. If they wake up in the middle of the night and their house is on fire - their main priority is sure to be their phone/laptop. You know, so they'll make a topic about it on DXP. Something like: "If your house is on fire what will you do (asking for a friend...)? 🤔"

Ok thanks for that. Well my child would be my first priority is my house was on fire.

But again...thats an Extreme example!

Nah, you don't fool me (: you're just saying that now - cause it sounds right). But hey, look on the bright side - since you're a DXP mom - your child is probably safe (since that's the one who start the fire...

If you have Nothing Nice to say, or Nothing Constructive..say nothing at all.

Are You a mum?

I guess not.

Are you even a woman?

I'm guessing you're a man.

Actually, I'm neither. I used to be an Angel (per se 😇) - but i got into messy fight with my old man (supposedly, what i did and said - wasn't nice 🙄) - so he kicked me out of heaven... 👿 And now, well, i'm the Devil. 😈 That being said...

🤦‍♀️

click to expand

Posted by Solaristic

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Solaristic

I am only beginning to understand how little the mother's sacrifice is taken into account, especially when they're pregnant... their body is JUST for the baby, and after birth with surging hormones, bleeding lochia for weeks, sore cracked bleeding nipples and tons of unwanted advice the baby gets like 3 check ups in the first month, the mom? She gets 1 post partum appt about 8 weeks after delivery.

Women have long been expected to just be mom right from giving birth, still in pain they take care of their baby 24/7, sometimes feeding all night a colicky baby and the husband sleeps... the expectations that the house should be clean. Laundry done, food on the table, etc... its madness. And I understand the Dad's sacrifice too but that's not what we are talking about here.

I'm glad that society is pushing for moms to recieve more care and help, and im glad my husband is helpful and never criticized me for "not being able to get all of it done.."

But, this new precious baby is a full time job that requires patience, love and saificing eating to feed baby at times, people want to visit to see the baby but what ab the mom? And if you allow ppl to come visit then demand you not breastfeed in your own home in front of them!!! Fucking madness there.. I didnt give a shit, I breastfed everywhere and to hell with anyone who had a problem. If people came to visit they either held baby so I could shower, or eat, or they brought food and folded the evergrowing mound of laundry mountain... or I'd tell people who wanted to come help that, "sure, 4am would be super helpful, come help me feed the baby so I can nap" and they're likeummmhat? You HEARD ME. you help or you stay tf away ntil I am ready.



It's not that the mom doesn't want to care for the baby or has to choose, but she can ensure those around are actually helping her and stand up for herself and her child's needs in ways that are helpful to the new mom.



And this is just about the 1st few months. It gets worse after this period of newborn to baby stage comes.

Thank you xx thank you Sooo much..I could Kiss you!

THIS is exactly what I've been trying to say in my post here!

And you've put it Clearly.

SACRIFICE! No-one gives a shit just how much a mother sacrifices! And right from the moment she is pregnant.

Can't drink. Can't eat certain foods. Her ever expanding body means she cant even wesr hwr own normal clothes. This is not a majot sacrifice though..bht its the beginning of EVERYTHING a woman can no longer do!

As you said..a woman is just EXPECTED to be mum right from the start. No one cares about the mum once her baby is born. Its all about the baby.

Screw her lack of sleep. Screw her hormones. Screw her sore breasts. Screw the fact that she's too tired all the fking time!

Hey life goes on mummy so get the fk on with it!

Motherhood is actually quite horrible when you truly think about it.

I'm not saying the kids are horrible..I'm saying MOTHERHOOD the Role is horrible

In the future I dont foresee so much bullshit but more help and understanding. I'll teach my daughter the same as my son about taboo topics. People are so rude and it takes a mom whose had it to finally speak up, it shouldn't take that.

click to expand

Posted by Fanta

I see a lot of mothers and fathers not giving up anything for their kids. Their kids are fucked.

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Fanta

I see a lot of mothers and fathers not giving up anything for their kids. Their kids are fucked.

Are you a mum?

What about kids who are brought up with the best of everything?

2 parents. Nice house. Money. Never going without.

They are the most Fucked of all!.

So are you a mum?

Have you even understood my question??

click to expand

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Solaristic

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Solaristic

I am only beginning to understand how little the mother's sacrifice is taken into account, especially when they're pregnant... their body is JUST for the baby, and after birth with surging hormones, bleeding lochia for weeks, sore cracked bleeding nipples and tons of unwanted advice the baby gets like 3 check ups in the first month, the mom? She gets 1 post partum appt about 8 weeks after delivery.

Women have long been expected to just be mom right from giving birth, still in pain they take care of their baby 24/7, sometimes feeding all night a colicky baby and the husband sleeps... the expectations that the house should be clean. Laundry done, food on the table, etc... its madness. And I understand the Dad's sacrifice too but that's not what we are talking about here.

I'm glad that society is pushing for moms to recieve more care and help, and im glad my husband is helpful and never criticized me for "not being able to get all of it done.."

But, this new precious baby is a full time job that requires patience, love and saificing eating to feed baby at times, people want to visit to see the baby but what ab the mom? And if you allow ppl to come visit then demand you not breastfeed in your own home in front of them!!! Fucking madness there.. I didnt give a shit, I breastfed everywhere and to hell with anyone who had a problem. If people came to visit they either held baby so I could shower, or eat, or they brought food and folded the evergrowing mound of laundry mountain... or I'd tell people who wanted to come help that, "sure, 4am would be super helpful, come help me feed the baby so I can nap" and they're likeummmhat? You HEARD ME. you help or you stay tf away ntil I am ready.



It's not that the mom doesn't want to care for the baby or has to choose, but she can ensure those around are actually helping her and stand up for herself and her child's needs in ways that are helpful to the new mom.



And this is just about the 1st few months. It gets worse after this period of newborn to baby stage comes.

Thank you xx thank you Sooo much..I could Kiss you!

THIS is exactly what I've been trying to say in my post here!

And you've put it Clearly.

SACRIFICE! No-one gives a shit just how much a mother sacrifices! And right from the moment she is pregnant.

Can't drink. Can't eat certain foods. Her ever expanding body means she cant even wesr hwr own normal clothes. This is not a majot sacrifice though..bht its the beginning of EVERYTHING a woman can no longer do!

As you said..a woman is just EXPECTED to be mum right from the start. No one cares about the mum once her baby is born. Its all about the baby.

Screw her lack of sleep. Screw her hormones. Screw her sore breasts. Screw the fact that she's too tired all the fking time!

Hey life goes on mummy so get the fk on with it!

Motherhood is actually quite horrible when you truly think about it.

I'm not saying the kids are horrible..I'm saying MOTHERHOOD the Role is horrible

In the future I dont foresee so much bullshit but more help and understanding. I'll teach my daughter the same as my son about taboo topics. People are so rude and it takes a mom whose had it to finally speak up, it shouldn't take that.

Yes. And I have most definitely had it!

Mainly from my ex-husband! He is one seriously nasty piece of shit! He pressured me into having babies, Then pressured me to parent his way, totally belittling me as a mother.

I would love it of men could have babies, see how HE copes!

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Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Solaristic

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Solaristic

I am only beginning to understand how little the mother's sacrifice is taken into account, especially when they're pregnant... their body is JUST for the baby, and after birth with surging hormones, bleeding lochia for weeks, sore cracked bleeding nipples and tons of unwanted advice the baby gets like 3 check ups in the first month, the mom? She gets 1 post partum appt about 8 weeks after delivery.

Women have long been expected to just be mom right from giving birth, still in pain they take care of their baby 24/7, sometimes feeding all night a colicky baby and the husband sleeps... the expectations that the house should be clean. Laundry done, food on the table, etc... its madness. And I understand the Dad's sacrifice too but that's not what we are talking about here.

I'm glad that society is pushing for moms to recieve more care and help, and im glad my husband is helpful and never criticized me for "not being able to get all of it done.."

But, this new precious baby is a full time job that requires patience, love and saificing eating to feed baby at times, people want to visit to see the baby but what ab the mom? And if you allow ppl to come visit then demand you not breastfeed in your own home in front of them!!! Fucking madness there.. I didnt give a shit, I breastfed everywhere and to hell with anyone who had a problem. If people came to visit they either held baby so I could shower, or eat, or they brought food and folded the evergrowing mound of laundry mountain... or I'd tell people who wanted to come help that, "sure, 4am would be super helpful, come help me feed the baby so I can nap" and they're likeummmhat? You HEARD ME. you help or you stay tf away ntil I am ready.



It's not that the mom doesn't want to care for the baby or has to choose, but she can ensure those around are actually helping her and stand up for herself and her child's needs in ways that are helpful to the new mom.



And this is just about the 1st few months. It gets worse after this period of newborn to baby stage comes.

Thank you xx thank you Sooo much..I could Kiss you!

THIS is exactly what I've been trying to say in my post here!

And you've put it Clearly.

SACRIFICE! No-one gives a shit just how much a mother sacrifices! And right from the moment she is pregnant.

Can't drink. Can't eat certain foods. Her ever expanding body means she cant even wesr hwr own normal clothes. This is not a majot sacrifice though..bht its the beginning of EVERYTHING a woman can no longer do!

As you said..a woman is just EXPECTED to be mum right from the start. No one cares about the mum once her baby is born. Its all about the baby.

Screw her lack of sleep. Screw her hormones. Screw her sore breasts. Screw the fact that she's too tired all the fking time!

Hey life goes on mummy so get the fk on with it!

Motherhood is actually quite horrible when you truly think about it.

I'm not saying the kids are horrible..I'm saying MOTHERHOOD the Role is horrible

In the future I dont foresee so much bullshit but more help and understanding. I'll teach my daughter the same as my son about taboo topics. People are so rude and it takes a mom whose had it to finally speak up, it shouldn't take that.

Yes. And I have most definitely had it!

Mainly from my ex-husband! He is one seriously nasty piece of shit! He pressured me into having babies, Then pressured me to parent his way, totally belittling me as a mother.

I would love it of men could have babies, see how HE copes!

Oic. That's what this the source of this, yes your threads point in general is valid.

I'm sorry you had a shitty partner who took you for granted nor it sounds like help you at all.

Raising a child is a job on its own and deserves respect accordingly. Again though.. You had a shit partner. I worked full time and for my ex And I would still relieve her daily even for self TLC and we had help from family as well.

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