a grieving Virgo

My mother (Aries, Pisces rising) got lung cancer in August 2018. What to say, the whole family saw a whole spectrum of pain, like every day was a different colored pain. Hurted too much, especially for me, knowing what will happen because I didn't had any hope. To watch her and hear her how she hopes to get well but knowing the situation, hurted like hell.

All the phases including seizures (horrible view), not be able to talk, just holding an icon in her hand 😢 , not be able to move, and on 31th of May, we lost her. I lost not only mother, but a sister too, and my best friend. The family which had hope then started to cry, I felt like I cried my heart out, which I did for whole 10 months.

My brother, a Cancer, cries and hurts, and i am in pain mostly because of him, he still is 22, too young to be without a mother.

I envy him because he is normal human being who can grieve, not like me. I feel guilt anytime when I think of something else but her.

I am a Virgo, libra rising, Leo moon.

It sure is beautiful to be any of other signs, especially Cancer, ooh, what a teddy bears they are. Not to talk about Mom, such a strong but at a same time gentle energy. I will forever miss her.

I feel awful.

Today I was at the cemetary, one woman got me critized for not going too often, every day, for still not having a picture put on her cross, (and you are a female! she said) and then asked me why I didn't have any kids and to do it like, now, because there is no time. I got nervous, but hurt too.

I am not able to communicate w/ my feeling on a level I would want to. Any advice?

Sorry to hear what you’ve been through...

Well first of all you need to stop giving undue credence to societal dues (gender bias and religious kowtowing)

and what ‘they’ think you’re grieving process is meant to look like. Tell the old dingbat to give up or shut up next time she wants to put her two cents in about you visiting the grave site.

If you need guidance I suggest you put aside the advice from neighbours and colleagues or anybody inclined to judge you and seek therapy in a professional form. If that doesn’t suit you try meditation and just allow yourself to unfold the sadness in its own time.

There is no right or wrong way to experience life- and death is a big part of that package and is personal to all of us.

You will be just fine sweets, don’t rush the healing and that includes facing the anger, denial and all

Good luck x

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Don't let anyone tell you how or when to grieve or make you feel guilty.....it's all personal and everybody grieves differently. Just because someone else may grieve on the outside doesn't negate how you feel internally and anyone who makes you feel bad for that are assholes.

This made me 😢. So sorry to hear of your loss, it's so heartbreaking...

I lost nine members of my family, dad and sis within six weeks of each other to cancer and I never thought I'd recover. Just find good people to talk to....i joined a bereavement group with likeminded others and that helped. I also cried, wailed and screamed a lot when alone which helped

What came out of it for me, is the spirit never dies and they're all still there for me...especially my dad

Be gentle with yourself and allow the grieving process to happen, no matter how long that takes

(((💙)))