Could I have Hurt Him Unknowingly—

Hello to All....

I'm an aquarius woman who's currently dating a virgo man...We've been seeing each other for only a short time (3months) but since we've met I can honestly say that he's kept a genuine smile on my face. I really enjoy our mental rapport, he's affectionate, caring, responsible, sexxy, intelligent as hell, but still rough around the edges...my ideal mate.

We'll we have been talking/texting one another just about every day since the first day we met. I went with him to visit with his younger sister, he's brought up me meeting his mother (whom I've already spoken to on the phone) and just the other night he told me that he loved me....He could see the shock on my face when he said those words and the only thing that I could do was question if he was serious or not. I didnt say it back because Im not sure yet....Well I called him twice yesterday and sent him a text message...he hasnt responded to either?! I havent called nor have I texted him since and more than likely I wont...I'm just wondering if I hurt him in any way...I know the best way to know this is to simply ask him, but I'm going to give him his space for now.

I'm just wondering if I hurt him in any way



You didn't, and you haven't done any wrong, he is just —ashamed?? at what he said it to you and need time to get over it.

Don't worry most young Virgos are like that. He??ll get over it just don't push it.

It is the principal of shyness and the virginity + mixture of it, virginity (Virgo) doesn't need to be (Virgin physically).

In old times that quality called —dignity?? something that has been long forgotten nowadays that's why surprising you.

What did those last messages to him say?

damn you shak, none of your business.

🙂

Well my text was pretty much asking him why hasnt he returnd my calls yet...he never goes a whole day b4 returning my calls. He still hasnt contacted me yet either...I'm not worried...anymore. I was afraid that I had hurt him by not telling me that I loved him back. I do care for him and would like to love him, dearly and deeply...before he told me he loved me he asked me do I thnk I could ever love him? and would I ever want to—

I just recently stopped dating a guy (aqua) because he was sooo cold and distant. I would tell him that I missed him and he wouldnt have much to say, he'd just get quiet...I'd get off the phone with him in and continue on with my day...he would then leave me a vm saying that he missed me too...this went on for months until I met the virgo guy...Mr Aqua was nowhere to be found so there was no need to let him know that I'd started to date someone else....Well on the 4th of July, Mr. Aqua called me and pretty much told me that he didnt xpect for me to be a "flower", a beautiful soul, a breath of fresh air...I would thnk that he was lying but I hear it ALL the time from guys...I mean All of the time.

oops, my reason for telling you guys about the Aqua guy was to xplain how I was tired of the hot and cold ish and now I've met somone who's more intune with their emotions and dont mind letting me know how he feels, I dig that.

Posted by starchild
Well my text was pretty much asking him why hasnt he returnd my calls yet...he never goes a whole day b4 returning my calls. He still hasnt contacted me yet either...I'm not worried...anymore. I was afraid that I had hurt him by not telling me that I loved him back. I do care for him and would like to love him, dearly and deeply...before he told me he loved me he asked me do I thnk I could ever love him? and would I ever want to—

I just recently stopped dating a guy (aqua) because he was sooo cold and distant. I would tell him that I missed him and he wouldnt have much to say, he'd just get quiet...I'd get off the phone with him in and continue on with my day...he would then leave me a vm saying that he missed me too...this went on for months until I met the virgo guy...Mr Aqua was nowhere to be found so there was no need to let him know that I'd started to date someone else....Well on the 4th of July, Mr. Aqua called me and pretty much told me that he didnt xpect for me to be a "flower", a beautiful soul, a breath of fresh air...I would thnk that he was lying but I hear it ALL the time from guys...I mean All of the time.

Posted by starchild
oops, my reason for telling you guys about the Aqua guy was to xplain how I was tired of the hot and cold ish and now I've met somone who's more intune with their emotions and dont mind letting me know how he feels, I dig that.

click to expand

Hum ... it sounds to me as though because your feelings were hurt by Aqua man, the now Virgo man gets from you what you didn't like in Aqua man ===== coldness to emotional expression.

Paying the pain forward. If Aqua man hurt you, then you must now mistrust Virgo.

Because afterall, the situation could have very easily been rectified by you telling Virgo how lovely it was for him to say this to you, but, you need time to process what it means to you .. but, you just went cold instead.

He asked you if you could love him in time .. and you made no mention of you having any kind of response to this ... again, you only inferred your silence to his emotional expression and then went on for 2 paragraphs to explain why you went cold on him ...


... because this is what happened to you .....



You wonder why he when silent on you?

The answer is simple ... you paid forward onto him th

You wonder why he when silent on you?

The answer is simple ... you paid forward onto him the punishment for Aqua man hurting you.



He will likely open back up to you .... however, it will be different. It will now take him eons, if ever, to express to you how he feels.

Mr. Virgo knows that I care for him deeply, I did respond when he asked if I could one day love him....I told him YES, I would love to. Thats when he hit me with the L word.

I dont think that he saw me as being cold or insensitive...He knows that he's got a place in my heart.

Yeah, I havent tried to call him or anything since Sunday. He still hasnt contacted me either, thats sooo unlike him...I guess Im sort of worried but all I can do now is play it by ear. I didnt turn him down or anything, I was just surprised thats all. I will give him some time to deal with his feelings, but I have feelings too, so how much time is enough time?

Giving him time to deal with his feelings is a good thing to do ... in the meantime, it would be wise for you to deal with your own.


Upon having thought on this topic and why you think you aren't ready to approach this topic with him .... your mind turned to pain inflicted upon you by another person ... in essence, you are comparing this Virgo man, as measured against the Aqua man and this isn't fair, they are two completelly different people.



You need to work on that.

Mike your right, I did have the feeling that I should contact him and I also felt as though he was pretty much stepping out on a ledge when he told me that he loved me...especially since our relationship/friendship is so new.

He texted me not too long ago saying..."so your not speaking to me", I didnt bother texting him back I just called his ass. And told him that I missed him. He and I will speak in detail about our "situation" once we see each other again.

P-Angel thanks for your advice...'Preciate it! LMAO...

Laugh your ass off all you want ... in the end, my words will ring so hard through your fucking head that you will wish you took heed.



Because this Virgo will soon start to detect that you are measuring him and his deeds and his emotions based off of another person ... and when he does, over the ledge he will kick you.



Have fun.

Thanks for your advice P-Angel... Me and my guy are doing great...God smiled on me when he brought him into my life...and the man adores the ground I walk on and in return I admire him...
I'm sorry that your soo unhappy with yourself...
I couldnt be a bigger bitch than you are on my worst PMS day...SMILE
One thing Ive learned is that young bitches grow up to be old bitches, change your way of thinking and maybe you wont have to spend your life being so unhappy with yourself...people can see clearly that your not happy, I know I can.

Whether I am unhappy with myself or not, isn't relevant to your situation ........ however, you having some issues to sort out is relevant. If you would like to talk about my happiness, or lack therefore, then you can dedicate a thread to it .. this thread, you have dedicated to yourself, so by using your assumptions of whether or not I'm happy, doens't take away from the issue at hand for people to view me differently as you presume ... people aren't so stupid that they can so easily be distracted by your words of differrence.

And 2, if you actually think that your little blurb about me effects me (which obviously you thought so, since this was the reason for saying it) .. then you are more confused than even your actions prove. I won't be manipulate to veer from my point, simply because you throw an insult out there as if I'm suppose to have an emotional moment and be effected.


You'd be wise not to make a fool out of yourself ..... my point is valid .. your emotions are fucked up and need to be addressed.


It took me less than 5 minutes to come up with the below ....

4/22/2008 - having problems with your Pisces man and made thread about it, asking what is the matter with him'
4/23/2008 - made thread on Aqua board to talk about your Aqua man that you've been seeing for past 5 months.

********** ooopppppss, overlap, overlap ^^^^^^^^

by 5/7/2008 you were on the Leo board, talking about how much you want your Leo friend to want you romantically and how you've done everything you can to get him.

6/2/2008 - you are on to a Libra

by 8/9/2008 - back to bleating on about Leo and how much you want him to want you so bad


Skip to current year ..... 5/12/2009 - another Aqua man

7/20/2009 - Virgo man (current victim), you say you've been with for past 3 months

*********** overlap, overlap, overlap ****************



So now you say god brought him to you ..... it would be nice if this same god brought him information informing him that while you were with him on 5/12 that you were secretly wanting an Aqua man to take you.


Again .... you have a serious issue here .....

With all your running from one man to another, sometimes, even multiple men at same time ....... it's obvious that you would be fucked up emotionally when it comes to knowing how you feel for a man.


I would suggest you slow the fuck down in your sluttiness for minute ... and take time inbetween partners, so you can see how you actually feel, not just about the ex guy, also about yourself .... because as I said in my first response to this thread, you are measuring this Virgo man, as according to how you feel about an ex ... and this is fucked up.



You are suppose to be woman enough to measure a partner on his own merits.



and btw .... when approached on this topic by me, for you to then proclaim utter adoration/admiration rather than any real feelings, is obviously a retaliation to me, rather than any real feelings.




You can take this offensively again if you choose ..... one day though, you will grow up and realize that the words here are for your benefit, and not your detriment.

P-Angel...My hats off to you, you have waaay more time on your hands than I do. I only log onto DXPNET in my free time which isnt much...
I never intended on insulting you, only stating the obvious...and yes sometimes the truth does hurt...I totally forgot whatever else you wrote, shit it doesnt matter anyway. Good-day.

It will matter to you ......... have fun crying.

And by you saying it doesn't matter to you ...... is why you go through men so fast.


When those men do start to matter to you .... then you will no longer have to come in here and ask why?

Posted by starchild
P-Angel...My hats off to you, you have waaay more time on your hands than I do. I only log onto DXPNET in my free time which isnt much...
I never intended on insulting you, only stating the obvious...and yes sometimes the truth does hurt...I totally forgot whatever else you wrote, shit it doesnt matter anyway. Good-day.

Actually, times runs at the same pace for everybody, so we both have the same amount of time. If you only log into dxp once in a while, not much, and I can find that much of your promiscuity in a mere 5 minutes, then in reality you must be going through the men at such an alarming rate that it's a no wonder 3 out of every 5 adults has an std.

You didn't insult me .. why should the truth about you, hurt you? How are you suppose to grow up if you cannot face your own truth?

fucking-A, P-Angel! i LOVE ur brutal honesty but damn u are harsh! a force to be reckoned with indeed! chhers!

P-Angel Im sorry that your now too old to have your choice when it comes to men....I still have that option. So yes, I date and I date whomever I choose to...regardless if its two men at a time or none....Unfortunately I am a heart breaker, but not a slut. Never have been and never will be. Thanks for your opinion...

Greetings to all....

Okay, so it's been a short time since I've logged onto DXP because I've been sooo busy with my goals, my ambitions....hell my life!

Just wanted to let you all know that things with me and mr. virgo are going well...Of course, I've been experiencing some of the same push and pull b.s. as some of you other ladies who are dating virgos...But, as I stated earlier...I'ma busy lady so the time that we spend apart from one another is def. productive on both of our behalf.... and sometimes I pull away from him just because I require tons of alone time, he hates it but at least he understands how it feels first hand!@lol... He and I are defintly offical, and we are also planning on moving together within the next two weeks.

Now I must say that I've always lived alone and this will be my first time living with a man....and I'm 28. I'm a pretty laid back person and dont forsee any major problems, but I hear that virgos are very nitpicky. So from my perspective his being so anal could be our biggest hurdle at the moment.


Any advice??

Virgo male and Aquarius female living together? What is that like?

We aquas not all but some of us tend to be all over the place especially young ones emotionally, mentally,physically

Now that I think about it, Aqua females tend to be lonewolf's, need plenty space, live alone types, your going to need some luck or DY or both LOL

Posted by No1delete2

starchild: So from my perspective his being so anal could be our biggest hurdle at the moment.

How old are y'all??

IMHO, it should be an international law: Virgo Men are forbidden to have serious relationships until they are past age 30.

Mentally, we are born old. Emotionally, we have a hard time growing up! But you're an Aqua - an equally "mental" Sign, so that may not be a big minus for you...

You already know that your VG is "anal retentive" -- that's why I warned you earlier to not let him nit-pick until everything in your world is arranged or done according to his specifications...

You say that y'all are a "definitely official" couple. If so, you can (& must!) put your foot down, and establish boundaries with him. If he really cares about you, he will compromise - and respect your strength.

Remember: We're an Earth Sign first, and mutable second.

Here's a helpful gauge of VG anal retentiveness: If he helps you wash clothes - cool. If he does all or most of the laundry - start hittin' the brakes. If he does the laundry, puts it away, and lays out your clothes for you - bail the fuck out!

I am just wondering, why should the lady bail out if this guy is doing all of these things? What if she lets him do the landry/clothing thing and she takes care of the cooking and cleaning in the kitchen? Would that be ok?

Or is it the fact of the VG taking control over his spouses life? With this control, would the VG feel satisfied and content (as a scorp might be in the situation) or would the VG loose respect and interest in his partner if his partner relinquishes control to the VG.

Hey

Yeah, first time living with a man...

I'm 28 and he just turned 30 on Tuesday...we both have zero kids!!!

He really doesnt put too much emphasis on controlling my life. He has made some helpful suggestions, but like I said they were helpful. His tone isnt demeaning or demanding so I dont feel resentful when he's giving me his 2cents... I think that for the most part he respects the way I lead my life...

I DONT see him doing too many household chores unless I asked him to...while batting my eyes in my cute boyshorts...LOL
He and I are both clean people so I dont see a huge problem as far as that is concerned...but I'll know more once we cross that bridge.

I DO require tons of "ME" time, he knows this and he thinks it's sexxy that Im independent and I can handle being alone...cuz truth be told, I know ALOT of people that can't spend too much time with themselves...

And as far as being all over the place...well to be honest emotionally... once a month(PMS)...for some odd reason that's getting worse with age...physcially, of course in the bedroom it goes down...mentally, I'd like to think he and I are on the same page. He's very knowledgeable...logical...very intelligent...

BUT, he's also spoiled...that's something that Im noticing right now. He requires tons of attention from me. Sometimes I just want to chill and watch sports or something and he'd rather have me pouncing in his lap.

And this might assist you guys with the helpful advice...

My Sun Sign is Aqua...my rising is Virgo...Moon is Scoripo...and Venus is Capricorn

His Sun sign is Virgo...rising is Scorpio...Moon is Capricorn...and Venus is Virgo

Okay, its been awhile and sooo much has happend since the last time I've posted....

My guy and I have been sharing our lives together for awhile now and of course we have our happy moments and we also have our moments when we argue...I really hate confrontation,so Im the type of person who'd rather talk it (issues) out before it gets to the point where theres any level of resentment.

My guy would rather let things fester and build...

Okay long story short.

Im not completly happy with him...for various reasons...

He MAY not be masculine enough for me...I've asked him in a jokinly way "why do you act like a gay man sometimes"...and he acts this way alot! ....

Sometimes he doesnt seem as confident as I would like my man to be...I've had dreams that we were being car jacked and he went off running. THats what I see him doing in real life too.

He's noticed that I've been detaching...I havent done so intentionally.

He stated the other week that he may not be the man for me...that he may not be able to give me what I need. I told him that he makes me happy, cuz overall he does make me very happy. I just dont know if I can completly over look him not being as manly as I would like...Its hard for me to feel like I wear the pants in the relationship...I dont like the feeling.

....and hell no I'm not perfect.

Tell me your thoughts 🙂

lmfao people forget virgos is a feminine sign meaning they will have certain female qualities like being picky bitchy at times member he has venus in virgo which is a fall placement meaning he would had a hard time expressing him self especially in love.

Hikoro, you may be right but I didnt thnk that a man's sun nor moon or any other sign had anything to do with him being manly. There are soo many men living double lives nowadays, especially where I reside.

I do care for him deeply and NO i dont want to wake up years later thinking what the hell have I gotten myself into...

Im not looking for him to be harsh...not at all. But MANLy YES! 🙂

I dont see him as having a hard time expressing his love.. Often times it seems like he's trying to "act" like me in the way he speaks (feminine) and I guess thats where the problem lies...he's a man and im a woman. One minute he's himself, and the next he sounds like Micheal Jackson...not cute

Posted by starchild
I just dont know if I can completly over look him not being as manly as I would like...Its hard for me to feel like I wear the pants in the relationship...I dont like the feeling.

....and hell no I'm not perfect.

Tell me your thoughts 🙂

my thoughts is that i love to wear the pants and definitely prefer the guys who aren't about to fight me for them. he sounds like a catch to me.

it's pretty hard to find a guy who's right in between. usually they'll be too much one way or too much the other. but if you make him feel more like he's a man, like you respect him as a man, he'll probably start acting more manly. and it's a lot easier to do that than to make a macho jerk soften up.

Posted by starchild
Okay, its been awhile and sooo much has happend since the last time I've posted....

My guy and I have been sharing our lives together for awhile now and of course we have our happy moments and we also have our moments when we argue...I really hate confrontation,so Im the type of person who'd rather talk it (issues) out before it gets to the point where theres any level of resentment.

My guy would rather let things fester and build...

Okay long story short.

Im not completly happy with him...for various reasons...

He MAY not be masculine enough for me...I've asked him in a jokinly way "why do you act like a gay man sometimes"...and he acts this way alot! ....

Sometimes he doesnt seem as confident as I would like my man to be...I've had dreams that we were being car jacked and he went off running. THats what I see him doing in real life too.

He's noticed that I've been detaching...I havent done so intentionally.

He stated the other week that he may not be the man for me...that he may not be able to give me what I need. I told him that he makes me happy, cuz overall he does make me very happy. I just dont know if I can completly over look him not being as manly as I would like...Its hard for me to feel like I wear the pants in the relationship...I dont like the feeling.

....and hell no I'm not perfect.

Tell me your thoughts 🙂

Wow! Maybe you should've evaluate him a little more better before you decided to live with him. If he's manly enough for you, then move on. There is alot of men out, and you're still young.

ooppss i mean if he's *not manly enough for you...

You guys are right...

I honestly believe that im being too critical of him.
Im quite sure I have my awkard moments....who the hell am I to pass judgement? 🙂

THanks for the advice!

Posted by hikoro

Posted by msInternationalTease




Wow! Maybe you should've evaluate him a little more better before you decided to live with him. If he's manly enough for you, then move on. There is alot of men out, and you're still young.

Agree. They moved in pretty fast.

This is a very interesting situation. I mean, women complain of not finding a man who is considerate, good and respectful, but when they find this man, then they start missing the man who will be aggressive and bold. And lo and behold, when they leave the good man for the more exciting man, they complain that Mr. Aggressive is too selfish and self-centered.

Sigh....we women are complicated.

click to expand

UM...IT'S NOT A WOMAN THING, IT'S HUMAN NATURE. Most people are never satisfy with what they have. So silly...

like i say you never whats good till its gone.

Posted by hikoro

Posted by starchild
Hikoro, you may be right but I didnt thnk that a man's sun nor moon or any other sign had anything to do with him being manly. There are soo many men living double lives nowadays, especially where I reside.

Forgot to clarify this point.

An example, a man with venus in libra may come across as being more feminine than a man with venus in Aries.

This is what I meant and this is the reason I was curious about his moon, venus and mars.

click to expand

i have a venus in libra i dont come across as feminine unless im taking about love then i sound like a little girl lmfao.