Do Virgo man like taking thing slow?

So I met a vguy online and casually talkin for 6 weeks. We started off really good. He used to send me sweet texts and called me few times in a week and even set up meeting which never happened due to his job. He is a doctor so I never really text or call him cuz I didn't know when was the right time to do it. Anyway I started getting irritated that he didn't reschedule our first meeting that he canceled 5 weeks ago. I felt I have given him enough space and time. 6 weeks of talking and no meeting? He is only hour away. So this week I texted him and suggested we should meet up. And I got no reply for a day. Next day I said hi and got no reply. Third day I was really upset so I asked me what's going on and no reply from him. My guts were telling me he just basically using the silence method to fad away. That night I figured I'll just call and of course he didn't answer and I left a voice mail. Two hours later I called back again and texted him saying thanks for playing this kiddish game. Basically after that he deleted me off Facebook. Basically that was a sign for me to tell he is not interested in me anymore. Wow why go thru this mess? Why couldn't he just tell me when I asked to meet up— I felt stupid for acting like a crazy person but com on don't u think ppl deserve respect. I called him twice for the first time in 6 weeks and was I wrong? I know I lost my coolness and that basically pushed me away from him. Next morning I sent him a long message and I said sorry for bashing him with text and call. I told him I felt disrespected cuz I always treated him with respect and that all I expected in return. No reply ofcoueseee! So was 6 weeks were enough to ask for a meeting? I don't even wanna know if I was wrong. I know I did nothing wrong except losing my temper which pushed him away more. Are Virgo stubborn like me(Taurus). Will he apologize for his behavior ever?

Posted by Bebo2014
I know I did nothing wrong

...lol

Posted by Bebo2014
except losing my temper

..sure. I mean who doesn't want someone demanding off the bat? Not only that but following up with snide remarks? I mean, why doesn't this dude lay everything at your immature volatile feet in 6 weeks time?

Oh right, cuz Virgos don't dig people like that.

Posted by Bebo2014
Will he apologize for his behavior ever?

click to expand

Of course, he will realize you are a caring person and only wanted the best for him. He will rejoice in your soothing presence.

Were you truly born in 2014 or do you have no idea what kind of job being a doctor is?

Dude dodged a bullet. He might hit you up but it would only be to smash. You will never get his respect considering the way you escalated in just 6 weeks.

Unreal the amount of entitlement running amock in society.

Posted by scorchedearth
tell us more about how evil volatile people are, damnata.

http://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/volatile<BR>
I don't see "evil" there at all.

I know it was coming that's y I posted this. I don't feel proud of my action.
I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy. :-/

I don't know what got to me. Maybe bad day and wrong timing for me. What bothered me when I wanted to walk away from this with dignity and he didn't let me he assured me he wants to continue this. But now I made fool out of myself. That hurts more.

I wouldn't give him any more of your time.

You didn't meet him, right?

So what have you lost?

Nothing.

Sure, you got pissed off because you felt he was making a fool of you and lost it but so what?

The dude could have behaved better and so could you have but I've been in one of those situations where the other person really did need to behave better and was talking the piss out of me and I lost it. It's not a great experience but shit happens and not everyone is the same.

He was clearly not interested.

Sweet texts mean nothing.

Learn from this and don't put so much investment so soon into the next person who comes along and don't let this one ruin the next one either.

It sounds like you were suffocating him by texting him and calling him like that. You should have give him his space when he didnt respond to you the first time. Now that he has deleted you off Facebook it shows that he is extremely annoyed by you and your actions. You came off as possessive and out of control of your emotions. Virgos hate this. I am Gemini ..so I never mind giving my Virgo some space. He always comes back because of that.

We both value our alone time..and you shouldnt have went off on him like that.He doesnt owe you an apology either. When he didnt respond the first time..you should have just left it alone.

Posted by Bebo2014
So I met a vguy online and casually talkin for 6 weeks. We started off really good. He used to send me sweet texts and called me few times in a week and even set up meeting which never happened due to his job. He is a doctor so I never really text or call him cuz I didn't know when was the right time to do it. Anyway I started getting irritated that he didn't reschedule our first meeting that he canceled 5 weeks ago. I felt I have given him enough space and time. 6 weeks of talking and no meeting? He is only hour away. So this week I texted him and suggested we should meet up. And I got no reply for a day. Next day I said hi and got no reply. Third day I was really upset so I asked me what's going on and no reply from him. My guts were telling me he just basically using the silence method to fad away. That night I figured I'll just call and of course he didn't answer and I left a voice mail. Two hours later I called back again and texted him saying thanks for playing this kiddish game. Basically after that he deleted me off Facebook. Basically that was a sign for me to tell he is not interested in me anymore. Wow why go thru this mess? Why couldn't he just tell me when I asked to meet up— I felt stupid for acting like a crazy person but com on don't u think ppl deserve respect. I called him twice for the first time in 6 weeks and was I wrong? I know I lost my coolness and that basically pushed me away from him. Next morning I sent him a long message and I said sorry for bashing him with text and call. I told him I felt disrespected cuz I always treated him with respect and that all I expected in return. No reply ofcoueseee! So was 6 weeks were enough to ask for a meeting? I don't even wanna know if I was wrong. I know I did nothing wrong except losing my temper which pushed him away more. Are Virgo stubborn like me(Taurus). Will he apologize for his behavior ever?

This is the story of the married Doctor who met a nut job online and she didn't figure out he was married until she obsessively tried to make contact and then OH NO! called him!!!! she then played the Glen Close character of "Fatal Attraction" and thinks her temper pushed him away. DXP just keeps getting better and better!

Let's all pray his children do not have a pet rabbit. When that apology doesn't come...look the fuck out! :O

I don't have charts. My birthday may 10. Location ( Jamshedpur, India) don't know the timing. His birthday aug 29th location Nagpur India.

No I didn't call him everyday. I asked to meet up and no reply for two days and yea like ppl said he is a doctor. Well I knew he had a whole week off so that's y I suggested to meet. I saw him on Facebook posting stuff. So it was pretty obvious he wanted to take things his way. Like he wants to talk when he wants to or hangout like whenever he wants to. I think that frustrated me cuz I wasn't asking for much. Just a lunch or dinner so at least I know whom I texting and talkin on the phone. So in my last message I told him he is good with his ignoring games and it's working. He got pissed over that text and deleted me on fb right away. Like com on we bot he over 30 have legit jobs. Who has time for games. Either u wanna meet or don't. So why couldn't he just answer instead played a not to reply game like I'm some crazy girl.

@Bebo2014 What year were you and him born ....then..I can do both of your charts.

Well thanks for some great responds.

I know I should have played it cool cuz I know better how to act like a lady. I wanted to just end his texting game. Just cuz I'm single guys text whenever and they think they can just have a relationship over a text. I just wanted to put a stop on it. Past 6 weeks all he was doing texting me everyday saying hi, what u doing? That's it!! Like come on!! I know my action was wrong and I should have handle is better so he could text me back whenever he was ready. But I just closed the door completely. I MESSED UP BIG TIME with a good guy I think 😢
Ofcourse why would he call to say sorry. It was me who overreacted and couldn't keep things in control.

Do u guys think I reach out to him after like couple weeks and say sorry?

I was born in 82 and he was 81

Yours:

Sun Taurus 19.14
Moon Sagittarius 13.26
Mercury Gemini 10.24
Venus Aries 6.24
Mars Libra 0.24 R
Jupiter Scorpio 3.41 R
Saturn Libra 16.43 R
Uranus Sagittarius 3.11 R
Neptune Sagittarius 26.37 R
Pluto Libra 24.54 R
Lilith Sagittarius 25.20
Asc node Cancer 14.59




His:

Sun Virgo 5.47
Moon Virgo 0.58
Mercury Virgo 22.32
Venus Libra 12.40
Mars Cancer 27.33
Jupiter Libra 11.08
Saturn Libra 8.21
Uranus Scorpio 26.19
Neptune Sagittarius 22.06 R
Pluto Libra 22.29
Lilith Scorpio 27.02
Asc node Leo 1.16

His Sun and Moon is in Virgo just like the guy I am talking too..lol..Yea he most def. wanted his space then.

What does that mean? Venus in Aries.

I like to hear that 🙂 not a good match

But my friend says Virgo n Taurus a good match.

U guys r great!

Thanks for the support!

I would have given him the space but the fact he was moving away in two months and he wanted to build something strong yet he wasn't meeting. He confused me and I needed answer cuz I didn't wanna him to string me along. 6 weeks and no date and hardly ever talked to phone. But he kept saying he is interested so I gave him some time but I just didn't feel like dragging more than it had been. Hahaha I basically demanded him to answer and nobody likes that. Oh well ... Lesson learned if the guy doesn't respond to first message then just delete him number 🙂

U guys sounds like me haha

Like it's still bothering me why he ignored my messages at the first place. Last time I dated someone did the same thing and I just couldn't take it. He lived two hours away and never met his friends and family but still came to find out he was a married man and that's y he broke it off with me cuz he realized I was getting serious. I'm sure this guy also has some shady reason why he said he is so interested yet never showed any real effort to meet me. All words no action

I been single for 5 years but it's just me. Dated a Gemini for 5 years in my 20s totally wasted my youth there and it's been 5 years I've been on a roller coaster. When it's gonna end for me?? :-/

Yea I'm sad how I reacted but I'm much better than that but I don't take silence as an answer very well. I can take rejection but no silence talk please.

Yes...

I can only control my action and be a better person next time 🙂

Thanks for the hope and that's why I came here. I know ppl will bash me but was hoping some one will understand me.

I am fiery and a Virgo.

Address your insecurity with yourself before getting to know someone else..or roll with the "venus in aries made me do it" thing.

Not like you needed a Virgo mindset but for people to enable you. You got that.

I don't think this is a venus in aries thing (from a sun in aries' perspective). I think this is more of a virgo sun type of problem. Venus in aries addresses their behaviour, you chose to walk away. What damanata said actually made perfect sense. Also you have to keep in mind, you don't really know a person very well when you only communicate with them online (it's a limited medium), so maybe there were different expectations? I wouldn't assume anything ....when you're calmer and more level headed, I think you should apologize for the way you reacted first and maybe try to smooth things out. It was probably just a difference in communication styles that may have initiated the insecurity. To be honest, I don't think there was anything to be upset about in the first place.

Posted by champranger

Posted by scorchedearth
the virgos who will end up reading this thread will have no idea and will think we're all being fucked up by trying to explain away your "bad" actions.

but these are people who are not fiery. and who who don't have the same emotional nature or urges that we do.

you know what not to do next time. and if some guy ignores you then delete his number.

yeah I agree ...

click to expand

No I don't think deleting his number solves anything (i'm saying this and I have a lot of fire in my chart and I'm an aries sun myself). I just think the way the different elements and houses react to certain situations is different. Also, you cannot assume all virgos contain the same emotional nature, that's a generalization. In the end objectivity can be powerful.

Posted by champranger

Posted by scorchedearth
the virgos who will end up reading this thread will have no idea and will think we're all being fucked up by trying to explain away your "bad" actions.

but these are people who are not fiery. and who who don't have the same emotional nature or urges that we do.

It's already happening. 😆

click to expand

no, I just think the virgos understand the male's perspective, because they are virgos too. If anything, WE don't understand this as much as virgos.

@ champ:
1)earth moons can remain objective- no that's not necessarily true. Earth moons can be incredibly emotional, we're just very good at hiding it-I know my cap moon is good at doing that.
2)I was referring to scorched' comments not you- "but these ppl who are not fiery...."
3)

sorry I got cut off before I wrote three
3)yeah it's an understandable thing....when someone ignores you deliberately sure-it's human nature to feel neglected, however...the OP nonstop called this dude for six weeks, the way she dealt with it was extreme.

This is not a fire thing. This is a virgo thing. The only people who know virgos better than all of us, are VIRGOS.

^ nah that's her side of the story. It seems one sided and biased. I don't buy it. It seems too convenient for one person to be wrong. The OP just wants some sympathy in my opinion.

and it doesn't matter who contacted whom first...she chose to reply to him, therefore choosing to engage in that interaction, potentially knowing how he would respond back to her.

-This whole thing isn't about meeting up-he didn't have an issue with that. It's about her crazy tone, I think he just wants to be respected. That's common courtesy, and not a lot to ask for.

Posted by champranger

Posted by biosynthesis
-This whole thing isn't about meeting up-he didn't have an issue with that. It's about her crazy tone, I think he just wants to be respected. That's common courtesy, and not a lot to ask for.

I think you and Damnata misunderstood. None of us were justifying OP's actions to begin with. We just understand why she reacted the way she did.

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-_______________-. We're not saying you are justifying the OPs actions. sighs....we are saying this has nothing to do with not meeting up or having fire placements. if anything, I think you misconstrued what damnata and I said.

Posted by Rambunctious76
Since we are on the subject of falling back on placements to explain ourselves, I'm just gonna say maybe she said something that put him off from contacting her again..cos Sagg moon.

Yes we didn't really know the nature of their interaction prior to her posting

Posted by champranger

Posted by scorchedearth
the virgos who will end up reading this thread will have no idea and will think we're all being fucked up by trying to explain away your "bad" actions.

but these are people who are not fiery. and who who don't have the same emotional nature or urges that we do.

you know what not to do next time. and if some guy ignores you then delete his number.

yeah I agree ...

click to expand

Here is the deal.

Her actions were BAD, and this is coming from a Virgo who is Fiery.

I don't think anyone has this ultimate goal of leading her astray. However, I see the word "Virgo" in the topic title which to me..sounds like she wants insight from Virgos.

Other signs will obviously post, just like all boards. But there is a ratio to input. I didn't even write more than..2 or 3 comments. Other people threw their 2 cents in..and the rest of the topic turned into talking about the life of the venus in aries.

There are no "" around the word BAD. She fucked up. We have no idea if the Virgo dude was ok or not. Point is, once again, she fucked up. By going into placements, you're trying to explain tendencies. You're talking to someone who is insecure and not addressing insecurity but rather her chart. So now she walks from this topic thinking it's normal. It is not normal to display that behavior with a Virgo and she can't get that because her focus gets directed on the venus in aries.

I already explained. Go back and read it carefully lol

Forget it.

I'm out.

Another Virgo is here and it's a guy.

I hope the OP gets to read his comments and doesn't have to browse through 10 pages of posts to find them.

Posted by champranger

Posted by Damnata
Forget it.

I'm out.

Another Virgo is here and it's a guy.

I hope the OP gets to read his comments and doesn't have to browse through 10 pages of posts to find them.

You're referring to her insecurities.

Question if I may? Is there anyone here that is comfortable waiting on the uncertainties? On confusion?

click to expand

Ofc I am referring to her insecurities since this is what will keep fucking her up if she lets it spiral out of control.

Uncertainties and confusion are a part of getting to know someone. So yes, I am comfortable with the fact that they will exist in the early stages. If something doesn't sit right with me during this process..I will address it once. If I get no reply, I do not pester, do not flip out like an immature child. I'll get my answer from silence and avoidance because that person doesn't owe me a lecture on why they (most likely) lost interest in me. Interaction should not be one sided. If it turns to one sided, let it fade.

The dude is an asshole.
People who string you along with sweet words but don't have the decency to respond to a simple question and then straight up dissapear are rude. He's a coward and you deserve better.

Posted by cosmica
The dude is an asshole.
People who string you along with sweet words but don't have the decency to respond to a simple question and then straight up dissapear are rude. He's a coward and you deserve better.

Agree.

Many are criticising what she did and saying she's insecure etc.

It sounds more like she was just seriously pissed off and let it out.

I don't see a problem with that.

If he's thinking she's a nut job then so be it. His intention may have been to meet her initially but clearly after six weeks this guy had no intention of meeting her. That's not a bad reflection on either party. Shit happens.

Better to know now than later on. There's no excuse not to respond, doctor or no doctor, even the damn Prime Minister/President Finds time to send a text, but she knew he was doing the slow fade so it probably should have been left but temper got the better as she felt insulted. No big deal.

The statement about fire placements made by other members seems to fit nicely here.

Perhaps she's new to online dating. Perhaps she was judging him by her own standards so she was disappointed when he didn't reach them or act in the way she would have preferred. Perhaps she built up some hope about this person and was disappointed it didn't materialise. Perhaps she was just pissed off.

He's probably married and not even a doctor!

If it's been six weeks and you've not met and he's not actively asking you out and planning a date or doesn't respond when you ask then it isn't happening.

I don't think she has 'issues' or is any more 'insecure' than the next person. People get so fixated on labelling others as 'insecure' when they don't fit the 'mentally strong, nothing ever phases me, I focus on me and my life and I don't give a shit' category.

It becomes irritating.

Posted by Bebo2014

... in my last message I told him he is good with his ignoring games and it's working. He got pissed over that text and deleted me on fb right away.

Who has time for games.

You mean the guilt game you tried to play on him by saying the above?

Apparently, you have time or game.s

Not only did you make a fool out of yourself with him, you come in here to make this thread so you can continue in making a fool out of yourself.

And you don't know it. You are so clueless to yourself that you don't even know that you should have been too embarrassed to share this with anyone

He lucked out, he got away from a crazy woman.

Thanks for all the reply.

Am I embarrassed? Sure I am! It's bothering me so much and I needed to open up so I came here. You can't say I shouldn't be telling people and asking for advice. Some people are too quick to judge. Calling all sort of names. And some responses so supportive. Not justifying my action but at least understood me. The whole situation could have been avoided by me. I will run into ppl like this all the time so I better buckle up and not let this happen to me again. I do wanna apologize to him but I have a feeling he won't ever speak to me ever again due to my rude text to him.

Posted by Rambunctious76

Posted by AgentP911

Posted by cosmica
The dude is an asshole.
People who string you along with sweet words but don't have the decency to respond to a simple question and then straight up dissapear are rude. He's a coward and you deserve better.

Agree.

Many are criticising what she did and saying she's insecure etc.

It sounds more like she was just seriously pissed off and let it out.

I don't see a problem with that.

If he's thinking she's a nut job then so be it. His intention may have been to meet her initially but clearly after six weeks this guy had no intention of meeting her. That's not a bad reflection on either party. Shit happens.

Better to know now than later on. There's no excuse not to respond, doctor or no doctor, even the damn Prime Minister/President Finds time to send a text, but she knew he was doing the slow fade so it probably should have been left but temper got the better as she felt insulted. No big deal.

The statement about fire placements made by other members seems to fit nicely here.

Perhaps she's new to online dating. Perhaps she was judging him by her own standards so she was disappointed when he didn't reach them or act in the way she would have preferred. Perhaps she built up some hope about this person and was disappointed it didn't materialise. Perhaps she was just pissed off.

He's probably married and not even a doctor!

If it's been six weeks and you've not met and he's not actively asking you out and planning a date or doesn't respond when you ask then it isn't happening.

I don't think she has 'issues' or is any more 'insecure' than the next person. People get so fixated on labelling others as 'insecure' when they don't fit the 'mentally strong, nothing ever phases me, I focus on me and my life and I don't give a shit' category.

It becomes irritating.

It takes 2 hands to clap.

click to expand

Absolutely! My post addresses that. It's a balanced view.

Posted by Bebo2014
he didn't reschedule our first meeting that he canceled 5 weeks ago.

Posted by Bebo2014
So this week I texted him and suggested we should meet up. And I got no reply for a day.

Posted by Bebo2014
Next day I said hi and got no reply.

Posted by Bebo2014
Third day I was really upset so I asked me what's going on and no reply from him.

Posted by Bebo2014
That night I figured I'll just call and of course he didn't answer and I left a voice mail.

Yet...

Posted by Bebo2014
Two hours later I called back again and texted him saying thanks for playing this kiddish game...he deleted me off Facebook. Basically that was a sign for me to tell he is not interested in me anymore.

😆....That was the sign?........but wait, there's more....

Posted by Bebo2014
I called him twice for the first time in 6 weeks and was I wrong?...Next morning I sent him a long message and I said sorry for bashing him with text and call... No reply ofcoueseee!.. Will he apologize for his behavior ever?

click to expand

😐

Posted by Bebo2014
I know it was coming that's y I posted this. I don't feel proud of my action.
I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy. :-/

And you don't? I personally don't like to throw around the word "crazy", but surely you can see your behaviour was off putting.

As for walking away with dignity, but he "didn't let me" bit....the choice was always yours. The man didn't hold you hostage. If you felt he wasn't giving you what you needed, you try to address it to give it/him a chance and then move on. When an attempt wasn't made on his end and he proceeded to ignore your first text, that was your cue to exit. You can't blame him for coming off the way you did. Sorry.

Feeling upset is understandable, I suppose, but how you choose to express that hurt is all you.

Posted by Bebo2014


Do u guys think I reach out to him after like couple weeks and say sorry?

No.

Posted by champranger

Posted by Damnata
Forget it.

I'm out.

Another Virgo is here and it's a guy.

I hope the OP gets to read his comments and doesn't have to browse through 10 pages of posts to find them.

You're referring to her insecurities.

Question if I may? Is there anyone here that is comfortable waiting on the uncertainties? On confusion?

click to expand

You don't have to be comfortable with it. I believe that is the point though. It's life. A lesson we need to learn. It was the need to control the situation that led her to text after text after text, then a call....

One can begin to work through that uncomfortable feeling and develop in that area, or...simply not and keep pushing through life making a mess of a situation.

Champranger- thanks for the support.

Some people act like they have all the s--- together in their life. More power to them!! I didn't mention I awe exchanged number 2-3 yrs ago and texted for a week or two and he disappeared that time too but I never really cared then because I barely knew him. When he messaged the second time I told him we already chatted before and he didn't even remembered me. And I said in a joking way oh I hope u don't repeat what you did last time. I see good in others and did think he has his act together. Even thought we never met. He always video chatted with me at work(hospital). He always asked if I will come visit him in New Orleans cuz that's where he was going to move to continue his fellowship. He was already making big plans with me and I kept wondering why r u giving me hopes when u haven't even schedule any meeting. I'm being honest that I didn't initiated any text or call in last 6 weeks. It was always him. So when he didn't reply to my first text I waited almost 3 days to call him after consulting with my friends and they suggested it's ok to leave a casual voice mail which I did. Then I saw him online from his phone and yet didn't have any decency to tell me that he will get back to me. I guess I felt something need to be said now. Like wth I gave u second chance for what so u can disappear again?? I don't care ur a doctor or a lawyer but do not disrespect ppl and i sent him a rude text only because he was being a smarty pants. I don't disrespect ppl in anyways. Next day I apologize for my rude text and that was it. Girls get mistreated all the time and i have seen it and have experienced. I think it's time for us/me to speak up. I'm from a Indian culture and our indian men thinks we have to act certain ways. Ughhhhh don't even get me started on Indian men Lol it's a whole different topic.

I just remembered his one comment that made me when I asked him why would u want to be in a long distance relationship when u r moving to New Orleans in 3 months and he said I don't wanna meet sl*ts in New Orleans ...ekkkk he had already judged the entire city before he even got there so him judging me over a text explains.

Posted by Bebo2014
I just remembered his one comment that made me when I asked him why would u want to be in a long distance relationship when u r moving to New Orleans in 3 months and he said I don't wanna meet sl*ts in New Orleans ...ekkkk he had already judged the entire city before he even got there so him judging me over a text explains.

Glad you're now processing all this and seeing he probably wasn't that great after all.

The slut comment is just ignorant but reflects his view of women. It's not a good one.